I Never Meant To Feel So Dark And Cold

A digital comics for Omniscient reader's viewpoint done in black, white and yellow. A serene scene of Yoo Joonghyuk and Lee Seolhwa patrolling the city bathed in sun's light. It seems foggy and unstable, as if an illusion or a memory. Lee Seolhwa is glancing at stoic Yoo Joonghyuk, content with just being around.

A sudden explosion interrupts their patrol, and Yoo Joonghyuk in a rush grabs Lee Seolhwa by hand to run away.

It is only after they are safe that he notices and reluctantly lets go, apologizing. Lee Seolhwa is smiling, grabbing his hand herself instead: "Let's keep walking like that". A corner if the page is burned, leaving uneven edge.

A burned page again, but a new scene: Lee Seolhwa is talking to a patient she's treating, telling them that she will accompany them in chinese. Yoo Joonghyuk is intrigued.

He comes over when Lee Seolhwa is done, crouching near her.
Yoo Joonghyuk: "When did you pick up a translator skill?"
Lee Seolhwa: "I just know the language". She is smiling brightly at his curiosity.

Lee Seolhwa continues: "My mother was taiwanese. She always had stories about Taipei. I guess i just wanted to feel closer to her?". Behind her is her own memory, of a mother in a hospital bed smiling at her, petting her head. She keeps talking, and Yoo Joonghyuk watches her with the same loving eyes her mother did.

Lee Seolhwa, filled with emotions, asks him if he has any childhood memories to share, but Yoo Joonghyuk doesn't answer long enough to make her worry. He looks calm, if a bit sad in a bitter sweet way.
Yoo Joonghyuk: "I... Don't remember much about my childhood. Or anything at all, if i'm being honest? But..."

Behind them, night falls, golden stars appear on the sky. Yoo Joonghyuk continues: "I remember Mia. She was so tiny... I wanted to raise her right... So i worked a lot to afford everything she could ever need." Lee Seolhwa carefully asks him, if that's it, and he says, that it is all.But then asks her to tell more of her own stories, to which she obliges. Burned edges of the page almost hide her.

Burned corner leaves Yoo Joonghyuk faceless in the first frame, while Lee Seolhwa is looking at him lovingly. They are laying near the campfire, bathed in it's warm light. Lee Seolhwa is the one to propose: "Let's get married". Yoo Joonghyuk stutters, turning to her, asking if she's serious, to which she replies "Wouldn't joke about something like that".

Yoo Joonghyk kisses smiling Lee Seolhwa, in the background Lee Jihye is seemingly fighting Kim Namwoon for the chance to play some part at their wedding. To the side is Lee Hyunsung, he is smiling brightly. All the edges of the page a burned, almost cutting off Lee Seolhwa's and Yoo Joonghyuk's legs.

Some time passes again, and it seems to be peaceful. There are golden rings on both of their hands. They are attempting felting.
Lee Seolhwa: "Don't worry, i'm sure you'll do great. I learned felting before the scenarios.."
Yoo Joonghyuk looks the most relaxed he has ever being, wearing something other than his usual clothes, with yellow felt in hands and Mia hanging on his shoulder: "Were you good?"
Lee Seolhwa: "...Not really".
He snickers, while Mia is asking them for a duck.

The results are uneven: Lee Seolhwa's could look better, lopsided and flat, while Yoo Joonghyuk's, unsurprisingly, looks great. Lee Seolhwa is somewhat annoyed at grinning Yoo Joonghyuk calling her duck cute. Mia is just excited to have two ducks, she is asking Lee Seolhwa to make them into keychains. The atmosphere is so light and warm. And yet the edges are burned once again.

A shot from the back. They are walking through the city, Mia holding hands with Lee Seolhwa and Yoo Joonghyuk behind them. two ducks are hanging from Mia's backpack. Burned edges conceal Lee Seolhwa's body and parts of Yoo Joonghyuk's head, leaving Mia untouched. The background is unreadable, just a yellow glow.

A front view, now with their faces visible. Yellow light is slowly turning orange. Everyone looks happy, especially Yoo Joonghyuk. Burned edges occupy even more space now.

Lee Seolhwa pasues, looking back at Yoo Joonghyuk: "Too mesmerised to move?". He agrees. She is moving in to caress his cheek, a golden ring visible in the light that is slowly turning more orange. Burned edges still there, eating at the pages.

The page consists of two different, half burned pages. The upper one is Yoo Joonghyuk leaning in the touch, bathed in the warm orange light, as calm as ever. The lower, the pne which edge seems to already burned to ashes, is Yoo Joonghyuk from turn 1863. He is covered in scars, and the hand on his cheek is not Lee Seolhwa's but Kim Dokja's. Behind him, the light is almost red.

The page is burned to crisp. On the bright red background, Yoo Joonghyuk is standing motionlessly, endlessly tired and covered in scars. In front of him Kim Dokja is arguing with older Lee Jihye, he is holding his shoulder, while Lee Jihye is pointing at him.

The burned edges on the bright red background are eating at Yoo Joonghyuk, his lower body already burned. Kim Dokja is holding him by the shoulders. "Think of happy memories". Yoo Joonghyuk is slumped forwards, his face hidden.

Two tiny figures on a red background. It's Kim Dokja huggin motionless, unresponsive Yoo Joonghyuk.

I never meant to feel so dark and cold

@leejihye is back to sponsoring my alive time by commissioning me!!

the outline that makes the heart ache is by @leeseolhwa and the headcanons are from @directorofthefalselastact ! team effort indeed :3

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