Smoking, side profile + wedding ring, lethal combination.
series masterlist
previous chapter
A/N: I know you've been waiting a while for this chapter, so here it is!! we are nearing the sweet sweet spot of the story and I am loving every second of this. I went back and forth about how I wanted this chapter to play out and I think I ended it perfectly and you know where its heading next đĽđ
mentions: it gets steamy, hot heavy tension, joel being so fucking hot and possessive, teasing and also alcohol consumption, throwing up (not described though) if there's any mentions you think are missing, let me know!
Minors stay out or read at your own risk! I'm not responsible for your consumption!
Do not copy, translate or claim this story as your own. Thanks!
Heâs just finished mucking out a stall, sweat clinging to his neck, shirt slightly clinging to his backârough hands, tired eyes. He turns a corner and stops short.
Youâre laying on the hay-strewn ground, arms soft at your sides, legs relaxed. One of the more temperamental horsesâusually waryâhas its massive head nestled in your lap. Youâre absently stroking its mane, speaking quietly, rhythmically.
Itâs such a tender image. Quiet. Peaceful. And for a second, it breaks something in him.
He says, kind of stupidly, kind of under his breath, âHorses are... theyâre sensitive. They pick up on people. Youâve got good energy.â
You glance up, smiling softly, still stroking the horse.
âThey like you,â he adds, voice lower now, something unreadable swimming in it. Then, like a fool: âI do too.â
And immediately regrets how it came out.
Cue a small beat of silenceâyour heartâs doing something weird in your chest. But you donât make it awkward. You say something that keeps the moment soft. Maybe:
âYeah? I thought you just liked how I shovel hay.â
He huffs a quiet laugh. The tension breaksâbut it lingers too.
He left a minute agoâsaid something like âDonât stay too long, alright? We got work to doâ before walking off.
The horse lets out a soft huff, nuzzling into your hand, and you sigh like youâre finally letting something out.
âI know. I know heâs off limits,â you murmur, half to the horse, half to the universe. âBut heâs soâŚâ You trail off. A pause. Then, âHave you seen his hands?â
The horse shifts its weight but stays pressed to you like itâs listening. It's like it gets it.
You keep going, just letting it spill.
âHe looks at me like he knows things he shouldnât. And when he says Iâm a good girlâJesus, like my bones forget how to work.â
You laugh, embarrassed at yourself. âI sound like an idiot. He probably just thinks Iâm some kid playing pretend out here.â
Youâve just finished with the horse. You gave it one last stroke, whispered a little âthanks for listeningâ into its neck like a secret. Now youâre stepping out into the cool evening air, brushing hay off your clothes, cheeks still warm from your little emotional monologue.
Youâre not expecting to see him.
But Joelâs there. Leaning against the side of the barn like heâs been waiting.
You freeze. He doesnât speak right awayâjust watches you with that unreadable expression of his. Then:
âYou talk to them often like that?â
You blink, startled. âWhat?â
âHorses. Or were you talkinâ to me?â
Your throat tightens. You try to laugh it off.
âDidnât know I had an audience.â
He pushes off the wall, steps closer. Not threateningâjust intentional. Thereâs something in the air now, sharp and heavy.
âWasnât trying to eavesdrop,â he murmurs, low. âBut I heard enough.â
You go quiet. Heat rushes to your face. You look down.
He stops in front of youâclose enough to smell the leather on his gloves and the pine on his shirt. He lifts your chin with two fingers, slow and careful.
âYou think I donât see you?â
Then it happens.
He leans inâand kisses you.
Soft, but intense. It's like heâs been thinking about it for days or like heâs finally letting the thing unravel. Your hands find his jacket, his thumb brushes your jaw.
When he pulls back, both of you are breathing harder. He looks at you like heâs just crossed a lineâand liked it.
âThis ainât smart,â he mutters, more to himself than you.
But his handâs still on your face.
âI donât care.â You say quietly.
And neither does he.
________
You went home straight after the barn. Showered. Changed.
But nothing helped. Not the water, not the coffee, not even the nap you tried to take. His face wouldnât leave you. His voice.
You told your dad you were going to see a friend. You needed air. Needed to feel normal againâshake off the way his lips felt against yours, how youâd replayed that kiss twenty times and imagined twenty more.
Youâre sitting at the bar now, glass in hand, staring blankly ahead. Guilt swims under your skin, warm and tight.
Then you see him.
Joel.
Your stomach drops.
Heâs not alone.
Thereâs a woman with him. Laughing at something he said, hand brushing his arm. She leans in too easily, too familiar. And heâs smilingânot like he smiled at you, noâbut still.
Your blood turns to fire.
You turn back to the bartender.
âSomething strong. Surprise me.â
The glass hits the bar. You down it too fast, throat burning. You donât even flinch.
But you keep watching him. You canât stop. Rage and confusion brewing in your chest like a storm. How dare he. How fucking dare he.
And thenâhe notices you.
His eyes find yours across the room. You donât look away. You want him to see you angry. You want him to feel it.
He shifts, says something quiet to the woman, then gets up and walks toward you.
Each step makes your pulse spike.
He stops beside your stool, jaw clenched, voice low.
âWhat are you doing here?â
You scoff, shaking your head.
âOh, fuck you, Joel.â
His brow furrows. âWhat?â
âYou kissed me. You told meââ Your voice catches. âAnd now youâre out here with some woman like that didnât mean anything to you?â
He leans in, angry too nowâbut not at you.
âYou think that meant nothing?â His voice is quiet, gutted. âI havenât stopped thinking about it since it happened.â
You stare at him, stunned, fire still dancing behind your ribs.
âThen what the hell is she doing here?â
He runs a hand down his face. âSheâs justâsheâs no one. Christ, I wasnât evenâ I didnât know youâd be here.â
A beat of silence.
You slide off the stool, push past him, headed toward the back door. You donât want to cry in the middle of the goddamn barâand besides, you donât want to make a scene in a place where surely a lot of people know your dad.
But he follows
You push through the door, the night air hitting you like a slap. Cool, biting. You pace a little, trying to breathe, trying to calm the mess in your chest.
Then the door swings again.
Joel.
His steps are hard, sure. Voice rough with urgency.
Joel catches up, grabs your wristânot hard, but firm enough to stop you.
âDonât walk away from me like that.â
You whirl around, fire in your chest.
âWhy?â Your voice cuts like a whip. âSo you can go back to your little date and pretend youâre not fucking around with your best friendâs daughter behind his back?â
He flinches. Actually flinches.
âSheâs notâItâs not what you think.â
You laughâsharp, bitter, broken.
âReally? Because it looked like flirting from where I was sitting.â
A pause. Tense. His hands are clenched at his sides. He steps closer.
âYou think this is easy for me?â
His voice is low, taut with emotion. âYou think Iâm not fighting this every damn second?â
Your voice breaks.
âThen whyâd you kiss me?â
He breathes like heâs been holding something in for months.
âBecause I couldnât not.â
The alley goes still. Everything else fades, people walking around, the music that blasts from the inside of the bar. All you can focus on is him.
âI tried,â he says. âGod, I fucking tried. But then you looked at me with those eyes. And that mouth. And Iââ He takes another step. His voice drops lower. âI wanted to ruin you.â
Your throat tightens. Your stomach flips.
âSay it, Joel.â Itâs soft. Pleading.
He stares at you like youâre the edge of a cliff and heâs already falling.
âI want you. Not just the kiss. Not just your hands on me.â He exhales like it hurts. âI want you. Every goddamn inch of you.â
âThen stop treating me like a child! Iâm not a child!â Your voice cracksâquieter now, trembling at the edges. âI donât want to be your child. I want to beâŚâ You trail off. You canât even say it.
And thenâyou donât have to.
Because you crash into each other like gravity demands it.
His mouth finds yours, bruising and hot and desperate. Your back hits the wall with a soft thud, and his thigh slides between yoursâfirm, possessive, grounding. One big, calloused hand slips under your skirt, the other fists in your hair, tugging just enough to make your knees buckle.
You gasp into his mouth, breathless, wrecked, gone.
Then his lips hover over yours, his breath ragged against your cheek.
âYou want to be what, sweetheart?â
Your eyes lift to his, wide and wet and dizzy with want.
And you whisper it.
The truth thatâs been choking you for days.
âI want to be yours.â
The words leave your mouth like a confessionâsoft and broken.
And Joel groans.
Like heâs been starving for it.
He surges forward, kissing you againâhotter, deeper, hungrier. His hand pushes further under your skirt, rough palm sliding up the back of your thigh, fingertips grazing the edge of your underwear. You moan into his mouth, your hips rolling into him instinctively, the tension unraveling in messy gasps and the sharp pull of need.
His thigh presses tighter between yours. His hand in your hair tilts your head just how he wants it, exposing your throat as his mouth trails lower, biting softly at your jaw.
âSay it again,â he growls against your skin. âSay it, baby.â
You do.
âI want to be yours.â
But thenâ
It hits.
The flip in your stomach. That sudden lurch.
The alcohol. The adrenaline. The emotion.
Your breath stutters. The world spins.
Joel feels you falter.
You shake your head, pushing past him with a stumbling step.
You take two shaky steps to the side and double over the bushes behind the bar, the night spinning as your stomach violently turns.
You throw up.
Joelâs there in seconds.
Hand on your back. The other pulling your hair away. Kneeling beside you, murmuring your name like it might keep you steady.
He stays quiet while you heaveâhumiliated, tears stinging your eyes, from the alcohol, the choking heat, and the words you just said out loud.
The worst part? He doesnât leave.
He doesnât move away like itâs too much.
Instead, his hand rubs gentle, slow circles on your back.
âOkay, okay,â he says softly. âYouâre alright. Let it out.â
You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, your whole body trembling.
He takes off his flannel and offers it like a shield against the cold air and your shame.
You donât look at him.
Not yet.
âDonât look at me.â
âToo late,â he says gently. âAlready do. Canât not.â
You sit down on the curb, head in your hands.
He crouches beside you, quiet for a long beat.Â
âYou donât even know what youâre askinâ for, do you?â
You lift your head, glassy-eyed.
âMaybe not. But I know I want you. Isnât that enough?â
He doesnât answer. Just stares at you like he wants to both hold you and run from you.
Then he stands, offers you his hand.
âCome on. Iâm takinâ you home.â
He presses a kiss to your temple, voice low and calm now, everything about him shifting to gentle.
âLetâs get you home, alright? Come on. Iâve got you.â
You nod, weakly. Eyes wet. Chest still shaking.
But his arm stays around you the whole walk back to the truck.
And even when the burn of the kiss fades, the weight of what you saidâI want to be yoursâdoesnât.
Not for either of you.
Youâre slumped in the passenger seat, cheek against the cold window, wrapped in his flannel. The engine hums low. Neither of you speaks.
The silence isnât awkward. Itâs heavy.
His knuckles tighten on the wheel every time he glances over at you.
Youâre pale. Your eyes are half-lidded, fighting sleep. But he can see the tears that dried on your cheeks.
And he still hears it.
I want to be yours.
He doesn't say anything. But he doesn't stop thinking it, either.
Youâre slumped in the passenger seat, cheek against the cold window, wrapped in his flannel. The engine hums low. Neither of you speaks.
The silence isnât awkward. Itâs heavy.
His knuckles tighten on the wheel every time he glances over at you.
Youâre pale. Your eyes are half-lidded, fighting sleep. But he can see the tears that dried on your cheeks.
And he still hears it.
I want to be yours.
He doesn't say anything. But he doesn't stop thinking it, either.
He pulls into the driveway, cuts the engine.
Inside, the living room lights are on. Your dadâs passed out on the couch, half a beer still in his hand, the football game blasting. The sound of roaring crowds filters through the open door.
Joel slips in with you in his arms. Youâre warm and boneless, your cheek tucked against his shoulder, breath soft against his neck.
He carries you through the hallway quietly, like itâs sacred ground.
Your bedroom door creaks open. Itâs modest. Familiar. Yours.
He lays you down gently, brushing hair from your face. You stir a little, lashes fluttering.
âJoelâŚ?â
âShh. Youâre home now.â
You smile, dazed. Your hand finds his wrist and holds it weakly.
âDonât leave.â It nearly breaks him.
He sits on the edge of the bed and watches you. His heartâs a fucking mess.
âYouâre gonna feel this in the morning,â he says, voice low. âAnd Iâll hate myself if I stay.â
You donât respond. Already half asleep again.
He brushes his thumb over your cheek. Then, after a long pause, he leans down and kisses your forehead. Gentle. Almost reverent.
âSweet girl,â he murmurs. âYou donât even know what youâre doing to me.â
He canât stay.
He wants toâbut he knows if your dad wakes up and finds Joel in your bedroom at dawn? Thatâs it. Game over. Dead man walking. No amount of apologies or "I swear nothing happened" will save him.
He stares at you like heâs memorizing the moment.
Then he slips out the door.
Quiet as a ghost.
By the time the sun comes up, heâs gone.
I am so excited about where this is heading, and I hope you are too!!
Reblogs, likes and comments help this story grow! â¨â¨â¨I'm grateful for each one of them!
taglist: @burningnerdchild @mortallydarktragedy @yesjazzywazzylove-blog
If you are interested in being added to my tag list let me know.
Please please please! Stop white washing the clones, let them have their melanin! Let them look like theyâre supposed to, like Temuera Morrison!
Sorry I'm late, I was reading fanfiction!
I did another :)
why must tumblr eat the quality đđ
pictured below is me trying to figure out how to draw the standard clone hair
tags: @lonewolflupe @ghostymarni :)
âł my favorite clones in no particular order
Captain Howzer in The Bad Batch 1.12
"He feels like my long lost home."
Shoutout to @lornaka for the sweet helmet art. Find other dividers like these here.
Tup - Tries to take you somewhere neat to see fireworks, holding your hand and glancing at you sheepishly every now and then, but gets lost along the way. Is simultaneously frustrated at himself and nervous at what youâll think of him until you pull him into a side alleyway to show him some fireworks of your own. đ
Jesse - Is so delighted to be spending the evening with you that he nearly gets into three different fights with troopers at the bar because he's just so dang excited. Dances your ass off then takes you out for street food, where he does get in a fight with a handsy vendor. Gives you the best kiss of your life at midnight. đĽ´
Fives - Tells you to wear a disguise. Dies laughing when you show up and he is wearing a simple poncho while you have donned a huge fake mustache. Sneaks you both onto a large cargo freighter that is scheduled to depart from Coruscant a bit before 00:00, so that as itâs slowly lifting into the sky, you get a birdâs eye view of the fireworks all around you. Of course, he now needs to figure out how to get you both off the ship without being caught. đĽ¸
-=-=-=-=-=[SORRY BABES, no Corrie dividers!!]=-=-=-=-=-
Fox - Shows up at your apartment in sweatpants and cracks up at the side of you as you open the door, as you are in sweatpants as well, even though you both had said you were going to âgo celebrateâ together. But you both knew exactly what you meant by âcelebrateâ, and you watch crappy holofilms while snuggling on the couch, dozing off until the sound of fireworks rouses you. You gaze blearily out the window, watching the flashing colors as youâre nestled into his arms, then you both drift back to sleep after a feeble âwhoo!â đ´
Howzer - Dresses to the nines to take you out to dinner but feels awkwardly self-conscious about it until you distract him by coaxing him into sharing stories about his squad, which light him up immediately. Then heâs got nothing but soft admiration for you, insists on two desserts, and walks you to your front door to finish the evening with a tender kiss. Comes running back to knock on your door about 10 minutes later when he realizes itâs just now midnight and âhe kissed you too soon.â The oversight is quickly remedied. đ¤
Hardcase - Finds out where they're setting the fireworks off from and sneaks you in. You both tuck in a tiny little corner between a huge metal structure that holds the firework launchers, and when they start going off, it's so loud that you can't help but squeal. Hardcase also yells in delight, catching the attention of nearby employees, and suddenly pretends he's escorting you off the premises after you'd been discovered sneaking into the area. đ
Gregor - Grabs some wraps at a food truck and takes you to some random little park where a galactic Mariachi band (they exist, ok?) is playing sweet beats. Dances with zero shame, with and without you. Drags you up a nearby hill to see fireworks and produces a bottle of champagne seemingly out of nowhere. Forgot glasses though, so you take swigs out of the bottle and choke on the bubbles and foam. Spins and dips you at midnight and finishes with the sweetest kiss.
Tag List?! Are y'all even here anymore!? đ
@techhasmjolnir @falconfeather23435 @ladylucksrogue @padawancat97 @baddest-batchers
@anxiouspineapple99 @yunggoblin @littlefeatherr @cw80831 @all-mights-babygirl
@totallyunidentified @lightwise @moonstrider9904 @clonemedickix @dangraccoon
@nursekyra @callsign-denmark @heidnspeak @stardusthuntress @lune-de-miel-au-paradis
@ivyyyyy @kashasenpai @followthepurrgil @littlemissmanga @littlemissbshine
@crosshairscrustysock @lamiliani @skellymom @burningnerdchild @galaxyofthoughts99
@sweeticedtea @starrylothcat @mxkyrie @reader6898 @eyecandyeoz
@trixie2023 @vrycurious @youreababboon @photogirl894 @subbing-for-clones
@yve-barr @salaminus @ezras-left-thumb @etod @dhawerdaverd
@techsgalaxy02 @shadowphantomreaper @violatiger8 @flowered-bicycles @nursekyra
@eternal-transcience @somewhere-on-kamino @plotlessvoid @morerandombullshit