I Love That Heidi Klum, International Super Model And Tv Personality, Was Like “I’m Going To Be A

Turn the reblogs back on coward

I am going to give the person who created grape juice the most sloppiest, breath taking, disgusting, lewd, nasty, mind blanking, hypnotizing, creamiest, indecent, toppiest, vulgar, rough, uncalled for, atrocious, hard-core, impure, rancid, disabelizing, wettest, dastardly, sickening, outright vile, putrid, gawk gawk 9000, filthy, foul, revolting, slimy, charming, mouth gaping, eye watering, vocal cord straining, euphoric, sick, nauseating, monstrous, catastrophic, barbaring, toe curling, head tossing, eye rolling, back arching, sheet gripping, nail digging, tongue hanging, lip biting, soul snatching, life support making, milked dry, heavenly, life threatening, self breeding, world changing, flabbergasted, stimulated, voluptuous, mouth opening, chocking, appetizing, divine, mouth watering, satisfying, delightful, joyriding, thrilling, heaven sent, sinful, death dropping, alluring, tears rolling, hair pulling, messiest, moan inducing, mind numbing, back bending, hand clenching, head ever. I am so grateful grape juice was made it tastes so damn good and I wanna give the person who made it a reward. I want them to feel as good as how I feel when I sip grape juice.

THEY’VE PROJECTED A LETTUCE ONTO THE HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT

"English isn't my-"

Hush now my friend, and let me read the absolute beauty of a fic that you have bestowed this world and humiliated the first English speakers with

every now and then i see posts about how kids these days don’t know how to pirate anymore but i was hanging with an 11 yr old today and she was telling me about all her favourite illegal streaming sites to watch anime and how she made a japanese google play account so she could play magia record so i guess i’m here to reassure you that cool kids very much do still exist. and they will never go extinct as long as you keep teaching your little cousins and neighbour kids how to pirate

now that everyone from twitter has joined tumblr overnight, it's time to lay a couple ground rules:

1. it's not called a "retweet", it's called a "reblog", but if you're REALLY cool, you refer to it as a "rebagel"

2. if someone has fewer followers than you, it is totally fair to call them "irrelevant", but it is actually more stinging to call them "irrelephant"

3. if you see someone irl that you think might have a tumblr, you're supposed to say "i like your shoe laces". the correct response, which any true tumblrite would know by heart, is "thanks, i stole them from the president"

4. there is a particular phenomenon that happens after 12am EST called "nightblogging", and everything after this point is the fault of the australians

5. tumbeasts

turning off your computer by clicking the digital shut down button = softly kissing it goodnight

turning off your computer by holding down the physical power button = strangling her to death