Bastard Sounds Great In An Irish Accent. If An Irish Person Calls You A 'daft Bastard' It Just Feels

Fear is not the same as power.

Okay. You made someone scared of you. Cool. Now what?

Do you think that makes you powerful? Do you think it put you above them in some way?

Do you think that you can harm them with fear alone?

Fear can't harm you.

And once you know that, it's a lot easier not to be afraid.

Love to all the ‘scary’ caretakers

Caretakers that are also persecutors

Caretakers that swear a lot

Caretakers that aren’t good with kids

Caretakers that look like something out of a horror movie

There’s no ‘right’ way to be a caretaker

being abused or neglected really makes it clear how many things are skills that nobody really treats as. skills. exercising autonomy is a skill. listening to your body is a skill. resting is a skill. being liked and being loved are skills. nobody tells you how to do this shit because nobody even told me I was supposed to have learnt these things when I was a kid. I kind of just have to manually figure out what makes me freak out and work from there. unfair as shit

hey shout out to plurals with "frustrating" or "socially bad" traits.

plurals who seem indecisive, "hot and cold", disloyal, dishonest, etc. to others due to subtle switches, passive influence, being median, amnesia barriers, etc. between headmates with very different opinions, wants, and moods

plurals who have headmates with "scary" attributes/symptoms, like hallucinations, delusions, anger issues, hypersexuality, low/no empathy, selfishness, need for attention, etc. especially those afraid they're perpetuating the "evil alter" stereotype

plurals who never know who's fronting. especially those with memory barriers, those who struggle with feeling any sense(s) of personhood, and/or those who struggle to keep close bonds with people due to this

plurals who struggle with meltdowns, tantrums, outbursts, pathological demand avoidance, poor sense of social norms, and other tendencies/issues that make being social or just existing in public difficult

plurals with fluctuating sexualities and/or triggers that make it difficult to remain with a partner/partners (or to date in the first place)

plurals who infight in-system and have trouble making decisions without intense internal backlash

plurals who have trouble keeping self care (and may go out of the house dirty/disheveled) due to other mental illness or due to frequent fronters being unmotivated, forgetful, or having sensory issues or triggers that interfere with self care tasks

plurals whose "self defense" relies on people pleasing, avoiding stressors, getting overly defensive, or getting angrier than "reasonable"

i write a lot of this cause i need to hear it, and i figure others do too. you are loved, you are appreciated, you deserve to be a part of society, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be understood and given patience... you deserve to be able to create, love, heal, be respected, be treated like your own age, to lead, to have a voice, to feel safe.

🕷️kozzy🕷️

we don't understand the point or basis of the majority of syscourse but it feels like we can never admit that to any other systems because everyone seems so caught up in it

.

I don't get why there are no resources for healthy expressions of anger. Are we as a society fundamentally opposed to people feeling anger? Are we afraid that if people get angry they're going to cause destruction so as an alternative we want anger to just not exist? Anger will go somewhere regardless of whether we want it to exist or not, and if a person who has good reasons to be angry, is not allowed to feel angry, they'll get eaten by self hatred and depression because that's what internalizing anger does.

It's also interesting that when abusers and people in power are angry, they can pretty much do whatever they like. Say no to them, they're having crazy revenges, they're tearing apart your stuff, they're starting wars, they're telling you how they're going to kill you in detail, no self restraint, no consequences, nothing. Anger is theirs to do as they please with and in response the society is just, too scared to do anything, so they assume that this specific anger is 'justified' and 'cannot be helped'. However when victims of something are angry, then they're labelled as 'unreasonable' and 'dangerous' and 'unable to move on from things'. Their anger is a problem that needs to be squashed, erased, there's apparently no justifications for these people to be angry, nothing that is reasonable or okay for them to do about it, they just get demonized and shamed for having a completely rational response to injustice.

Is that it then? Those who are able to act out on their anger, get justifications and obedience, but those who are helpless but angry for very good reasons, are just to be suffocated? Anger is allowed only for some parts of human society and it's the most violent, destructive and dangerous part of it too? Where is this getting us? Is the amount of injustice ever going to decrease if we defend injustice, and fight for it to keep going on?

If I look up ways to express anger, I get stuff like 'anger management steps', and 'letting go and moving on from anger', like excuse me. I didn't even get to express 1% of my anger and I need anger management? I have never had problems with controlling my anger, the struggle is to get it out at all! To integrate it into my personality, to hold people accountable without having to think about it, to show resistance when I'm being stepped on! What anger management? Why am I pushed to move away from anger, I haven't even arrived to anger!

Why is it assumed that every person who struggles with expressing anger is a maniac breaking things, enacting revenges, trying to injure or murder people, lashing out and doing harm to everyone around themselves. I can guess why. Because all of the resources are created for people who are letting their anger run wild without a cap and who use anger to get their way. The world is adjusted for people who are allowed to be angry, who were never pushed to the point where getting angry meant loss of survival, where expressions of anger would lead to torture. I am apparently not even considered to exist. I'm either a maniac or not a target audience for anger resources.

If someone's been traumatized out of being able to feel angry, people don't think it's worth having this person angry. It's very obvious this person has giant reasons for anger, so if we let them feel it, they could become 'dangerous', or 'just like their abuser'. You know, being angry at the abuser does not make anyone like the abuser, it makes them Normal. Rational. Having Self Worth. Human. Logical. Reasonable. Engaging in everyone's best fucking interest because you know that abuser is going wreck havoc forever and if nobody is even angry at them, it's giving them an even easier time. Anger is scary when it's in hands of abusers, in the hands of victims it is liberating, just, it puts things into perspective and back where they belong.

Now give me the fucking resources to get angry. I'm sick and tired of hating myself.

I’ll write a post on here that clearly says “I don’t believe anyone should ever be forcibly institutionalized in any circumstance” and someone will reblog and tag it “I totally agree, nobody should be incarcerated except my family member with BPD/schizophrenia/*insert stigmatized diagnosis here*, sometimes people just need to be locked away for their own good” and I’m like no…you don’t totally agree & I don’t think you understand…I mean that all people deserve bodily autonomy, including the people you’ve been conditioned to believe are the most scary, inconvenient, and burdensome

I do love a good dance with yourself. evil clone? alternate reality version? past version? future version? metaphorical representation of the true self? they should all do a homoerotic little waltz

something blue