Testify!

…special moments…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

Redefining a Relationship?

I want to start this update with a thank you to everybody who wrote in to me to talk about their opinions on my boyfriend, and his behavior towards me lately after I mentioned it in my last post.

A lot of you were on the same page as each other, and a couple of you even had some words of advice/caution for me.

Many people said similar things, but one note in particular had a real impact on my thinking for the past week or so.  I won’t say who it was, because they didn’t give me permission to mention them, but here is the gist of what they said:

First of all, be careful. I am playing with fire here.  There are a couple of reasons why my boyfriend acted the way he did towards me, and they all mean I need to be careful, and I should talk through things with him more.  

1-  He may be scared.  Scared of what this has all turned into, and whether it may have gone too far for him.  He might be scared that he can’t tell me he is uncomfortable with things because he he thinks that I might leave him if he were to speak up.

2-  He may be getting angry at me.  Angry that this whole thing started out as his fantasy, and of late, he hasn’t gotten much of the attention, because it’s all been directed to finding/going out with/fucking Alex.  If I withhold details, it could make for more resentment, which would make this sort of lifestyle significantly less hot for both of us.

3-  He may actually LIKE the idea of me holding back some of the details.  Maybe he does think the not knowing is hotter than actually knowing.  Maybe his imagination of what I am capable of doing is hotter than me telling him what I actually plan to do.

4-  Maybe it was a power thing.  Maybe - while I was just joking around with him - he saw it as me taking more control in our relationship, and his reaction was just something he said because he was surprised.  That could be “good surprised”, or “bad surprised”, but I wouldn’t know until I talked it through with him.

So… I thought about it a couple of days.  I thought, and thought… And went around with “what ifs” a while.  These days, my boyfriend acted pretty normal toward me.  He wasn’t moping,or crying, but he wasn’t jubilant and excited either.  He was actually pretty neutral.  (Side note here - for all the guys that say that women are impossible to read, let me just say that trying to tell if you have crossed a line or not with your boyfriend when you sleep around and tell friends about it- is 10 times harder than reading any lady’s body language or subtle clues to see how she’s feeling). I decided that before I talked to my boyfriend directly about this, I wanted to get another opinion…

On my lunch break, I called Shauna.  “Hello, Shauna? Can you meet me for a drink? I have some things I need advice about”. She couldn’t that day, she said that she had already made plans, but the next day she was in.  That night I was confused, and worried, and I’m sure I was over-thinking things.  It didn’t help that Alex texted me that night too.  He just said “hey, are you busy tonight?”  I didn’t answer.  I felt like I owed it to my relationship to get some answers before I did anything more with Alex. I was sure he will get by without me somehow…

So Shauna and I met the next day for happy hour.  I did tell my boyfriend before hand that I was meeting her.  I tried to gauge his reaction…  “Ok, cool.” That’s it? Yup.  Not much there.  Angry? Casual?  Excited?  I couldn’t honestly tell.  Shauna and I sat down, and I she immediately asked me about Alex… How did it go? Did I sleep with him? Did I like it? What did my boyfriend say about it?  I answered everything honestly.  I wanted her advice, so I told her the truth.  Until that last question about how my bf reacted.

I told her what I said, and what how he reacted… And how he didn’t push for details, even though I could tell it was killing him.  The question was why was it killing him?  Shauna thought about it for a while, and asked me what I thought.  I figured that I would just give her my list of 4 major possibilities listed above.  But then… I sorta made a little mistake…  I said “Well, most people seem to think that…”  That’s as far as I got before she interrupted me. “Wait, ‘most people?’ what do you mean?  Who else knows about you two?”  I was stuck.  I didn’t really have a reasonable story to cover the ‘most people’ slip up.  She asked again, “like more than 3 or 4?”  I could feel myself blushing a little bit.  “Yeah, I guess you could say that” I managed to say, but that only confused her more.  “Ten? Twenty? Fifty?  ‘Most’ of how many?”  I felt like the longer I let it go, the harder it would be to come clean later.  “Ok, this is going to sound weird, but I sorta have a blog.”  “A blog? About this? Get the fuck out?!”  All o could do was smile sheepishly and feel my cheeks turn red again.  She pulled out her phone immediately.  “What’s the address?”  After a couple minutes of trying to avoid doing so, and realizing that she wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer, I told her.  Funny thing is…  She has her own Tumblr.  And I gained another follower, right there as I was sitting at a bar with her.  So…  Hey Shauna… Welcome to the blog side of things too…

It’s a strange feeling knowing that somebody I actually know is going to be reading this.  I’m not sure how I feel about that yet… But I digress…

So, then I told her… About my/all of your theories as to why my boyfriend acted the way he did towards me.  At the end of it all, we made a couple decisions together:

The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, or do anything that would make him think I was leaving him.  I had to prepare myself for the very real possibility that #1 above may have been true.  If it was, I told myself that I had to stop.  With everything. The other guys, the dating, the blog… Everything.  If he was legitimately unhappy or scared about this, I was done.  I was ready for the end of everything, and just going back to being me and my bf.

I needed to make sure the he knew I was willing to tell him those details I withheld before, I wasn’t actually lying to him by omission, and I had to make sure that he knew I was just trying to be playful with him, not a bitch.  I had to make it clear to him that I don’t want to drive him away by excluding him.

I had to prepare myself for the alternative too… What if he liked it?  What would that mean?  Should I withhold more details from him?  Should I tease him with the details over a longer period of time, just to watch him squirm?  What if he actually LIKED it when I was a little bit bitchy to him?

Shauna and I finished up with our drinks, and paid.  I thanked her for listening, and she thanked me for letting her in on the blog.  I drove home.  On my way, I called my bf, and asked him if he could come over, because I wanted to talk to him about something.  He agreed, but said that he had to drop off something at the post office before it closed, and he would head over after that.  (Again… hard to read…  Blowing me off? Completely innocent?)

Before he got there, I decided that I was going to make this night about him.  If it was true that he was feeling neglected recently, I was going to make sure he didn’t leave feeling that same way.  I went upstairs, and changed out of my work clothes, and into something more casual, but still a little flirty.  I just wore a pair of black and purple running shorts, and a white tank top.  I actually changed my bra too - to a black lacy one - and made sure it was visible on my shoulder, because I know that drives him crazy.  I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, and went downstairs to start cooking.

I honestly had no idea what to make.  I didn’t have a plan until I looked through my fridge.  Had I known that morning that I was going to be making a spontaneous “impress the boyfriend” meal, I probably would have gone and got some steak or something.  I had none of that….  Soooo…  I had to improvise.  Ground beef?  Cheese? Sour cream? Tortillas?  Who doesn’t love some romantic tacos?  Ehhh… It wasn’t going to be the best, but it would do.

I was about 10 min away from being done cooking when he got to my place.  He came in, and asked what I was making.  We’re tacos alright?  “Yeah, sure”. (Again… Reading his thoughts about all this was either a complete exercise in futility, or me way over-analyzing things)

I got him a beer, and told him to relax on the couch until dinner was done cooking.  He did, and came over to the kitchen when I called him.  We each made a couple of super-delicious tacos, and sat down to eat.  I came right out and said it.  “I want to talk to you about a few things, and I need you to be completely honest with me, ok?”  He agreed.  “Are you upset at me?  About anything?”  He said no, and looked genuinely confused as to why I would ask.  I supposed that was a good start…  

I kept going…  “What about that other night, when you clammed up when I told you that asking about Alex was too personal?” He answered that he just assumed I didn’t want to talk about it.  I asked him, if that were actually the case - how would he feel about that answer?  He said it drove him crazy (I could tell) but he wasn’t mad.  I asked why.  “Because, I want you to do whatever you want to do with him” 

“But I thought you got turned on by hearing about what I do with other guys”. He assured me that he did, but that he is equally turned on by me knowing I have the power to do whatever I want, with whoever I want, and not feel like I need to be answerable to anybody for it, including him.  He would love to hear about it, but that was 100% my decision of and when I wanted to tell him, and that he was completely fine with that.  Hmmm.  Well that was interesting.  At this point, I felt pretty confident that we weren’t going down the path of option #1.

“So, what if I told you that it was ridiculously hot, and I’m absolutely going to fuck him again?”  He blushed, and looked down into his half eaten tacos.  Pretty sure we can throw out option #2 as well.  He didn’t look up at me for a few seconds… I could see his face was red.  He liked it.  We are definitely looking at a #3 or #4 scenario here…  I decided to push it further.  Just to see what his reaction would be.

“And…” I paused for a second. “he has a really big dick”. He groaned, loudly.  Bingo.  That was all I needed.  I stood up, and walked over to him, and sat on his lap, straddling him, with my arms around his shoulders.  He still wasn’t looking me in the eye, but I could see his cheeks were flush, and I could feel his cock was hard in his pants.  “Look at me” he glanced up at me for a second, but then away. “No, LOOK at me” I said again, and started to slowly grind my hips into his crotch.  He looked up again, and this time, held eye contact with me.  I just stared into his eyes. He looked back at me. My hips worked the front of his pants.  “I’m gonna fuck his big cock again… Whenever I want to… And if you are good, I’ll tell you about it, ok?”  He but his lip, and his eyes closed, he nodded, and I swear he must have been purple he was blushing so hard.

I climbed off of him. And pulled him by the hand towards the stairs.  Half of the tacos were still uneaten, but what the hell… They were just tacos… On the way upstairs, I saw my phone on my coffee table.  I stopped, turned around, went back, and grabbed it.  “I want to show you something” said, and opened up my text message screen as I came back and led him upstairs.  I laid him on my bed, and showed him the text from Alex from a few days before.  If he would have paid closer attention, he would have seen the date, but he just saw the text, and the name on top, and that was enough.  “What do you think?  Should I go over there tonight?”  I asked him, snatching my phone back from him, and putting it on my dresser.  He didn’t say anything, just stared back at me…  So I teased him.

I pulled my tank top over my head and tossed it aside.  “Should I ask him to bring his motorcycle over here and fuck me here tonight?”  He groaned again.  I pulled off my shorts, and crawled up onto the bed, straddling him again, in only my underwear, and pushed him back onto my pillow.  His eyes were closed.  His mouth was closed, and he was breathing rapidly through his nose.  “It’s all my decision, isn’t it?” He nodded again, quickly, without opening his eyes. Mmmm.  What a rush.  Power. Adrenaline.  Wetness.  I pulled his hands to my hips, and held them there as I started to grind on him again.  “Look at me”

He looked up at me, and I stopped moving my hips on him.  I wanted him to focus on what I was saying, not what I was doing.  “Well, my decision is to fuck you tonight.  A lot”. I leaned down, and kissed him.  He kissed back.  

The sex was good.  Honestly, not the best- but pretty good.  I think I had him too worked up, because he didn’t last very long the first time.  But the second time was better, and so was the third.  I wanted him to know that I wanted it to be about him that night.  I wanted to make sure he knew that even if I made all the decisions with regard to our sex lives, he was still very much a part of it.  And in pillow talk between fucking, I made sure to tell him that if he is ever, ever, uncomfortable about anything, then the only way I will be mad at him is if he doesn’t speak up.  (I still have a little soft spot… So sue me)

The next day, at work, he texted me.  “You were amazing last night”. It made me smile.  (Yeah, we are looking at #3 or 4 for sure by now…) At the same time, I knew that he didn’t want me to answer with something stupid like, “you were too babe, love you, xoxo”. So I just wrote back, “I know”.  He said “It is so hot to picture my girlfriend as a hot little nympho”. And then, right there, at work, I got an idea. I texted him back, “thanks. You just gave me a great idea for A Halloween costume this weekend”

You guys remember Karissa?  Remember how I said she has a good house for parties?  Well, Halloween was no exception.  She told me the week before that she and her roommates were planning on hosting again this year, and I said that of course I was coming, and would bring my bf too.  She was fine with that, of course.  So… I was going, I just had to figure out the costume thing.

Id like to take a minute here for a minute to say another thank you to all of you guys who suggested costume ideas for me and my boyfriend.  There were a lot of interesting ideas.  Cop and prisoner, angel and devil, soccer player and referee… and about 10 other combinations that I’m sure I’m forgetting.  So thank you all.  My favorite was actually a biker chick.  I was almost sure I was going to go as a biker chick, and I had plans to buy myself a fake leather jacket, chaps, skull t-shirt, gloves, and sunglasses… But by the time I had thought it out, it was Friday night, and I hadn’t bought anything yet, so when my be said “nympho” I just thought… “Yeah, I could pull that off”, and changed my mind right there.

He wanted to know what my idea was, but I didn’t answer him right away.  Mostly because I didn’t know exactly how I was going to accomplish it yet.  How do you dress like a nympho?  Super slutty everything?  Hang on every guy I see?  While that may be fun, I didn’t want to do anything overt like that.  I needed to figure out a way to make it more subtle.  How do you make a nympho more subtle?  I thought about it for a while, and when I got home from work, I opened my closet, and started pulling out old Halloween attire to see what I could put together.

I was having a hard time.  I don’t have anything overtly slutty in my wardrobe.  I know that may come as a shock to some of you, but I do have somewhat of a reputation to uphold.  I was a bit upset… I actually came really close to saying screw it, and going to Hot Topic or something to fake a biker chick outfit at the last minute, when I thought of a way to pull it off.  A nympho? How about just a nymph?  That could be easy… It was subtle-ish.  I had an old hippie Halloween costume that I wore about 4 or 5 years ago for Halloween, and there was a flower belt, and some flower leggings with that.  I figured I could just use those. I also had a pink flower-y looking waist belt, and a green dress.

A forrest nymph… Why not?  I decided I was going for it.  I just needed some kind of wings, and maybe a wand or something.  I will readily admit, that it wasn’t my best costume of all time, but it worked.  I called my boyfriend, and told him what he was going to be for Halloween… I told him to dress like a nerd when he came to pick me up. (A nerd Courtney? Really? Why?)

On Halloween, late afternoon, my boyfriend showed up at my place in his nerdy costume.  He hiked his pants up really high, had some suspenders, wore knee high striped socks, and got some fake glasses, and a pocket protector too.  Again… Not our best costume work ever, but we were improvising here…

He asked me what I was dressed as when he saw me… “Hippie? Fairy?”  “Nope… I’m a nymph…o.  Get it?”  He looked at me funny… “Then why didn’t you want me to be a nerd?”  “Because, if I’m a nympho, then somebody needs to be my little virgin, right?”  He laughed.  Well… I thought it was clever anyway. And we didn’t have time to change.  This was what we were doing.

I told him he had to drive to Karissa’s house.  He asked me if we wanted to get a cab instead.  “No, I want you to drive”. He didn’t argue, and we got in his car, and he started towards Karissa’s house.  He did, however, ask my why I wanted him to drive.  “Because you aren’t drinking tonight”. He was confused.  “Why?  Court, it’s Halloween…”  I just looked at him, and said “Tonight, you are a virgin… And so are your drinks.  You can either use the excuse that you are driving, or just don’t tell anyone that you are only drinking water. It’s up to you”  Then I thought a little more, and added, “Oh, and also… Because I said so, that’s why.”

Wow… As soon as I said that, I immediately wondered where it came from.  Did I really just do that to him?  He didn’t argue.  I liked it.  I’m pretty sure he did too.  He wants me to make the decisions… So I did.  No drinking for him.

The party was cool.  It wasn’t crazy or anything.  When my friends asked what my costume was.  I told them… “I’m a nympho… Oops!  I mean nymph!  And [bf] is my little nerdy virgin!”  Mostly, everybody just thought I was silly.  Which I was.  I will readily admit that our costumes (and the explanations of them) were a bit of a stretch.

I stuck to my guns though, about making my boyfriend stay sober.  I think I did it, just to see if he would.  He did.  He didn’t tell people he wasn’t drinking.  Only I knew.  I made him bring me his drinks all night long to taste test.  He drank gin and tonics (hold the gin) all night long.

I did not.  I had more than enough for both of us.  I got pretty drunk.

At the end of the night he took me home.  He was sober (which was my plan all along really - a DD for the ride home) and drove us right to my place.  We crawled into bed, and he was really horny.  He wanted sex, but I was drunk, and loving the power thing, so I kept it going…  I told him I wanted him to eat me first.  He crawled under the covers, and gave me oral… For a while.  I came.  Twice.  Mmmmm, it was good.  I don’t know if it was the booze, his eagerness, my horniness, the power dynamic, or what.  Probably all of the above.  I liked it.

He wanted more after that, but I wouldn’t let him.  “Not tonight baby… Wouldn’t want to take your virginity…”  

I rolled over, and passed out.

I woke up this morning, and all I’ve been thinking about all day - is what decision I’m going to make next.

Fantasy Week

Last week, I got a great idea from a follower. They basically said that while it may be difficult for my boyfriend to confide all his thoughts and fantasies about sharing me when we talk face to face, he might be more willing to divulge that information if I talked with / flirted about it with him over text. He idea is twofold, first that it is “safer” for him in that he doesn’t have to see me face to face in case one of his fantasies might be “weird” and he could always say later that it was just in the heat of the moment or something. Secondly- once I learn of his fantasies, I will better understand how he wants to share me, and where his boundaries are. Once I know that, I can use that information to my advantage. Either by teasing him using those fantasies, exploring them with him, or perhaps introducing crazier stuff, just to see his reaction.

So, I told my boyfriend that this week, while I was at work, I wanted him to text me one fantasy per day, and that we would talk about it each night when I got home. He was nervous at first. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to do that, but a little bit of sitting on his lap and some soft petting seemed to do the trick to convince him that it would all be in good fun.

I was anxious to see what he said. All morning on Monday I kept looking at my phone for his texts. I didn’t tell him a timeframe, although I probably should have, so I had no idea when he would write me. I didn’t have any message until about two in the afternoon. When I finally got it, I was really eager to see what he had come up with.

In the interest of time, I will just list his fantasies by day, and then talk about each.

Monday: “I want to see you dress up really sexy and flirtatious when we go out with friends” I asked him more about this when I got off of work that evening. From his text, I couldn’t tell if he meant that he wanted me to do this once, or all the time. He said that the more I do it the better. I asked what he had in mind - I told him that if I wore a halter top and fuck me heels out to dinner with friends, that would not only be inappropriate for the occasion, but would probably lead to both of us getting some pretty strange looks. I told him that I was totally willing to look “hot” though, but I told him it would be at my discretion as to what degree. Maybe this means tighter dresses, shorter skirts and heels on occasion. If it means a bigger wardrobe for me, and it is a fantasy of his to see me look hotter and more available, I’m all for it. Easy one.

Tuesday: “I want to hear you having sex with someone else” This one sort of surprised me a little. I would have thought he would have said that he wanted to see me first, but he said hear. What does that mean? It took me a while to figure out how I wanted to approach that one. A while ago, one of my followers had actually suggested that I use a phone to call him while I was with Brandon. That would accomplish the “hearing me” fantasy for him, but it could be a little awkward to try to subtly call my bf without Brandon knowing what I was doing. I’m still thinking about how I can help him get this fantasy played out. Feel free to help with ideas guys… How can I let my bf hear me without it being awkward for the guy I’m with?

Wednesday: “I want you to sleep with somebody that is married” I’m pretty sure this stems from a conversation that he and I had a while back about this one guy I work with. He is gorgeous, and I would totally love to get him in bed, but, as I mentioned before, he is married and has a kid. I’m not sure I want to risk both the work situation and the homewrecker potential for this. So, will this fantasy happen… Maybe, I don’t know. But probably not with the guy that originally inspired it. If I happened to find myself in a situation that allowed for this in the future, then at least I know that my boyfriend is open to the idea. However, what I thought about this fantasy of his was that it was more revealing of what he is willing to let me to do and become. He loves the idea that his sweet little innocent girlfriend could be “the other woman” that tempted a married guy to stray. That is pretty devilish of him.

Thursday: “I’d love it if you would have a one night stand” We have sort of had this conversation before. Basically, when I asked him about this, he told me he wanted me to have a one night stand with somebody I had absolutely no interest in outside of that one night. He said that he wanted me to hook up with somebody that was completely not my type at all… A slacker stoner guy, some athletic hardbody with no real smarts at all; he even mentioned that he thought it would be very hot if I hooked up with a thug, tattooed, prison-like guy for one night. That one actually kind of shocked me. Usually, he is pretty reserved in his preferences for guys he is willing to share me with. That idea is not reserved or cautious at all. It’s scary, and dangerous, and uncontrollable. And those are all my thoughts, not his. I’m not sure how I feel about the criminal idea, but the thought of a one night stand might be worth exploring further, even if it is just used to tease out more fantasies of guys he wants me to try out.

Friday: “It would be hot if you spent all day on your birthday with Brandon” Boom. There it is. I knew there was something he was saving for Friday. I was actually pretty pleased with this little fantasy of his. It played right into the little suggestion I made for my birthday present earlier, so I knew that he had been thinking about what I had said. I took the whole day off for my birthday next week in advance, and I was planning on spending it with my bf, but he totally changed those plans with that text Friday afternoon. I couldn’t wait until I got off work to text him back after he sent me that, so I answered right away. “Does that mean you got me the present I asked for?” He didn’t answer, but when I got home, he gave it to me.

So cute. I thought it was perfect. He said he thought it was the hottest thing he could imagine me wearing. He got me a black lace cami with purple accent bows and drawstring in the back, black stockings and a matching black and purple thong. It’s actually very sexy. He probably spent close to $100 on me. He said that he bought it online, so he wasn’t sure if it would fit right or not, so I told him I would find out. I took the bag into the bedroom, stripped down, and put everything on. He did pretty well. It didn’t fit perfect, it was actually slightly too small, but I’m ok with him thinking I’m a little bit smaller size than I am. It wasn’t too small that I couldn’t get into it. Once I did, I couldn’t resist taking a picture of myself. I’m not sure why I did. Maybe to remind myself of my own situation, maybe to show my bf in the future… I’m not sure. I just felt sexy as hell, and I felt like it, so I did it. I took off the lingerie, and got dressed again before leaving the bedroom, and my boyfriend was pacing around the living room waiting for me to come out. He asked how it fit, and I just answered “wouldn’t you like to know”. Hot.

I told him to sit down while I texted Brandon, because I was about to make that fantasy of his come true. he did, and asked me what I was writing, so I told him the whole conversation as we texted back and forth.

Me: “hey, just wondering, what are you doing Monday?”

Brandon: “why, you want to come over after work again?”

Me: “I was thinking something different this time”

Brandon: “like what?”

Me: “it’s my birthday”

Brandon: “and you aren’t going out with [bf]?”

Me: “maybe later in the evening, but he’s working during he day, and I have the whole day off. Can you come over early?”

Brandon: “I’m supposed to work too”

Me: “is that a no then?”

Brandon: “is that what you want for your birthday?”

Me: “yes”

Brandon: “say it”

Me: “I want you to come over and fuck me all day long for my birthday, B”. (That was hot, I didn’t know why I called him B… I never have before, but I liked it)

Brandon: “I’ll get off”

And that’s that. I have a birthday date. A full day, doing whatever I want. Not only with my boyfriends approval, but fulfilling a fantasy of his at the same time.

Yeah, I could get used to this.

…in the kitchen…{blushing}…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

Your beautiful girlfriend is away for a bachelorette weekend with her friends. You know she’s going to do a little flirting, but you never expected to get a video of her cheating on you.

It’s not just that, though. It’s a video of her sucking someone’s cock in an alley outside a night club. It’s a video of her being a wild, naughty little slut because she’s just so desperate to feel a big dick in her mouth.

You should be mad, but you’re not. You watch the video once, and then you watch it again, and again, and again while you masturbate. Then your girlfriend calls…and that’s when the real fun begins.

Read ‘A Weekend with the Girls’ on my Patreon page. Enjoy this naughty second person story and play with your cock as you do. Then, enjoy more than 900 other cuckold stories that are guaranteed to thrill you.

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"I knew you'd understand," she smiled, clearly relieved.  "As long as we all get what we need, there's no reason to get hung up on labels."

She reached for me and gave me a long, slow kiss.

"I'm not dating Ryan, I'm just his date to the wedding.  I'll only be gone for the weekend and then things will back to normal—or however we want them to be."

As I got closer, she slowed down.  "Now, why don't I try on a few things and you can help me decide what I'll bring on the trip."

"Perfect," I said.