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Testing the Waters

Busy, but making progress

Work is really starting to get moving now. I’ve only been there a short time, but is already feel like I’m doing some really good work, even though sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and putting in long hours just to keep up. I’m sure that after I get settled in and really get into a groove, I will be able to manage without having to work 10 hour days. But… I’m not complaining. It’s busy, but good busy.

As far as other things go…

So, in addition to being pretty busy, I am meeting a lot of new people. One of which is a guy that is crazy hot. Like, seriously shouldn’t even be legal hot. He is older than me, and on one of the other teams of people on the same project as I am. His name is Dan, and he is super smart and I get to work with him a lot, and I would be totally, 100% ok with getting him into bed. Only one small catch… He is married and has a kid. Damn! I don’t think I want to try to get involved there yet. Which is unfortunate… Mostly just for me. I told my bf about him too, and he was all for it, but I don’t really want to risk being a homewrecker, so I think that he might just be eye candy for me for the foreseeable future. Sigh.

Anywho… My bf was hinting ever since the last time that Brandon and I hooked up that he wanted me to do it again, but I hadn’t really been able to do anything for a while. Mostly because I wasn’t sure I liked the way I felt about myself after the last meeting, but also because after working 50+ hours a week I was just too burnt out to try to arrange anything. But his constant hints for a week or so gave me enough time to come to terms with those feelings, and last Wednesday evening, he actually convinced me to text Brandon again.

So, the plan was for me to text Brandon and invite him over again on Thursday night, just like last time, but as it turns out, I never got the opportunity to do that. While I was working that day, I actually looked at my phone over lunch, and Brandon had texted me… Fortuitous, huh? He just said “hey, you should come over tonight”. I called my bf right away to tell him that Brandon had actually invited me over, and he was ok with me going, so long as I came back to his place when I was done.

So, I texted Brandon back and lied. I told him that I couldn’t, because I was working, and then going to my bf’s house when I got off for dinner. Well, for whatever reason, that made him try even harder. It was perfect. Boys are so easy to manipulate sometimes… He answered back and told me I should make up an excuse and come by his house before I went to my boyfriend’s place when I got off.

Wait, he gets to think he’s making me stray again, my bf knows and is cool with it, and I get two boys in one night? Well gosh, what a terrible deal.

So, I called my bf and told him that I was headed to Brandon’s place when I got off, and I promised to come over to his place when I was done. He was totally excited I was willing to do this again after the first time. As soon as I got off the phone with him, I called Brandon, and told him I would stop by, but that I had to hurry, because I had told my bf that I had to work late again and that we would have to push dinner back a little. That was all a total lie, of course, because we actually hadn’t made any plans at all, and my bf knew everything that was happening.

When I got to Brandon’s house there was nobody else there. No roommates, just me and him. I felt hot. I really did. It was different than the first time I “cheated” because this time I felt like I was more in control. That is weird to say, but that was how I felt. He let me in, and almost immediately started his machismo thing again. He said “I knew you would come over again” and I answered back “you texted me first, remember?” It was playful flirting… And then he tried the same trick as he did the first time, and said “so, you want to give me head at the kitchen table this time?” And I got this crazy power rush, and something came over me, and I completely threw the whole misogynist thing right back in his face and said “oh no, you texted me first this time. That means you start. Here. And hurry up because I don’t have much time”, and I just sat down, right there on his living room couch and just stared at him.

I have never felt the way I did that night, at that exact moment. It was amazing, I felt both this huge sexy - almost dirty - feeling, and at the same time this immense power thrill. I don’t know what gave me to confidence to snap back at him like that, but I absolutely loved it!

He didn’t need to be told twice. He had my business skirt hiked up around my hips about 30 seconds later, and I had Brandon on his knees, with HIS head between MY legs to start this whole encounter this time.

I’ve never had public sex before. I never thought it was a smart idea. But that evening, Brandon and I had sex right there on his living room couch. I had no idea where his roommates were. They might have been across the country, they could have walked right in the front door and seen us. Believe me, the thought crossed my mind more than a few times. I didn’t even try to stop it, or suggest that we move to his bedroom. The unknown - the risk - made it hotter for me. I actually wondered what one of his roommates might think if they had walked in on us. Maybe I was “Brandon’s new girlfriend”. Maybe I was “some cheap slut Brandon brought home”. I didn’t really care. Whatever anybody wanted to think of me was fine with me. It was liberating. Now, nobody ever did walk in, but by the time our hurried, quick and dirty hooking up was done 30 min or so later, I found out that something I never really considered before could be a turn on for me.

My hair was a mess, and Brandon was all smiles, and I quickly got dressed again and told him that my bf was probably waiting on me for dinner, and I had to go. What a bad girlfriend I was… I left his house, and drove straight to my bf’s house, and as soon as I got inside, my bf was all over me. He damn near attacked me. He didn’t have dinner waiting or anything, just let me in, and took me right to his room, and we went at it again. Sex, twice, with two different guys in less than an hour apart. He was so hungry. The first time I “cheated” he gave me food and flowers. Not this time. He said he felt like he was reclaiming me. He wanted me to tell him every little detail about what happened, so I did.

I told him that while we were fucking on the couch I had wondered about his roommates walking in on us. I told him I thought that idea was hot. I told him I didn’t care what they would have thought about me… the cheap little whore that Brandon brought home. That drove him crazy. He loved that. His little high school sweetheart being so dirty. I pushed him further. I told him that I wanted to sleep around on him more, with lots of different guys. That finished him off. I was so sore by the end of the night, but it was so worth it.

When we finished, I just laid there with him. Pillow talk. I asked him if he liked what I did, and he said that he did, very much. I decided that I would play another card that I had been thinking of while he was laying there with his arms around me. The idea for this actually came from an interaction a few weeks ago with one of my followers, and I thought that was as good a time as any to bring it up…

I asked him if he had bought me a birthday present yet. (My birthday is August 18th by the way- I’ll be 23, just in case you guys care.) He said no, that he hadn’t yet, and asked me what I wanted. I told him that I wanted him to buy me three things: first, a new book that I’ve been wanting to read, second, a nice birthday dinner out with him, and lastly, I wanted him to buy me the sexiest lingerie he could possibly think of… So I could model it… for Brandon only.

Needless to say, I was a little late to work the next morning.

…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…morning after…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

The bedroom door opens and she pads out.

Okay, she says. You can open them now.

She's modeling her new gym set for me. It's shiny and skintight, showcasing the months of hard work she's been putting in.

Ostensibly this is all for my benefit but I've started having suspicions about her motivation.

Wow, you look amazing, I say. I tell myself to keep quiet, to let whatever's going on find its own way out, in its own time, but the words are spoken before I can stop them.

Why the new outfit? I hear myself say.

I hate how my voice sounds but there's no getting around the fact that I'm jealous.

She looks at me quizzically, opening her mouth to speak, then closing it again without doing so. I brace. Too late now. She tilts her head and gazes up at the ceiling for a moment, before turning back to me, nodding. She takes a deep breath, exhales.

The instructor in the class is very handsome and tall and knowing that he's watching me makes working out enjoyable, she says.

I wait for more but realize quickly that that was the totality of her response.

My heart is fluttering. I'm at my own inflection point.

I love her.

I want her to be happy.

I don't want to be this person.

I want to be the person for whom this is, somehow, a good thing.

I adopt his face, summon his words from within and speak in his voice.

Thank you for telling me, I say. He's very lucky to have you in his class.

She smiles.

There's further to go, more to say.

Go.

Say it.

Be that person.

I think you should ask him if he offers private lessons, I say. Her eyes widen.

Further.

And I think, if he does, that I should pay for them.

Her eyebrows shoot up and a broad grin breaks out across her face.

Deal, she says.