Lazy

oof

I suppose I’ve just had the most unproductive weekend I’ve ever experienced. AP exams are closing in as well. A ton of schoolwork to do while the year closes in, a dying personal life, not mentioning the fact that I’m probably in trouble when it comes to extracurriculars. Missed some important harp stuff, so I’ll need to talk to my teacher about that.

Spilled my guts out to a friend over the past two days with little to no reaction, too, so I guess there’s that wonderful thing too. :/

Whenever I think it’s not possible to fall lower than this I end up surprising myself. Guess I should really just suck it up though. All this depressing stuff has been ruining my life and future, and I’ve done nothing to stop it.

Can’t really feel bad for myself anymore. This sucks. Maybe I am depressed, but I guess that’d be searching for excuses to inexcusable behavior. I should stop lying.

Whatever happened to determination?

Maybe there's something in the air, maybe I'm sick, stressed, or just plain old lazy— but I can't seem to get myself to work these days. I sat by my desk all afternoon and evening today, but could barely get any work done at all.

My first final is tomorrow... are things really going to be okay..? I'd like to say I need a break, but what would the break be from? It's not like I've made enough progress on anything yet.

I wish it were spring or summer again, when I could go wherever I wanted with my friends. I miss taking the train.

Same me, new plans

Woke up today and ate some leftover pizza from the fridge. It always feels so greasy and never makes me feel okay. My grandma was already going to drop off lunch for me but I guess I have no self-control.

Always thinking of an idealistic life where I can live like the rest of the put-together asian kids you'd see in a k or c-drama, I can't really get myself in the moment now. But during the occasional moment of clarity in the present that I have every so often, I can see that I'm pretty much in shambles.

I should be exercising, cleaning my room, wearing nicer clothing, studying for school- why do I load myself up with APs even though I never do homework? I'll never know. I guess I like to live out some aspects of my dream life while neglecting others.

I want to get out of this greasy failure life and live out my dreams as someone who's put together and productive.

Wishing the apocalypse started right now, ruining billions of lives and throwing the world into irreversible chaos because I'd rather hide from zombies and eat scraps than do a midterm for two hours

the cure to all sadness is indulging is nostalgic content nobody can prove me otherwise

Happiness is back on the menu lads, I feel like I have energy again

Hiiii you're back! Missed you <3

Oh my goodness Mari!! I missed you so much too (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

Glad to be back!!

Winter Celebration Art #2

It's been getting colder where I live lately-- despite the painful wind chill, I'm excited to jump into banks of snow on the sides of the road.

A mocha for the coming midterms... Let's hope it all goes well.

Aughhh I can't focus any longer!!

Studying is hard, but the midterm on Wednesday will be harder... Hopefully, I'll be okay. For now, I'm going to take a rest with some dessert...