And In The End, My Darling Solitude Is Always There To Hold Me, However Cold His Hugs Are.

So much spilt blood on these lands, isn’t it hard to believe such sweet scarlet flowers grown on those same places? Every time you weave those ruby-red flowers into my hair, do those lovers who never got such bliss sigh? Separated by time but brought together again when our hands entwine, do you still believe that everything we have isn’t the exact same shade of scarlet?

Don't kiss me yet,

Let our minds wander first, together,

Let our souls touch,

And then perhaps,

I will love you too.

I ignored all the signs under the surface, refused to accept the truth behind the curtains, drunk on our love as how dictators drown in their power, and I faced the consequences while you grinned from the crowds. your love was the looming guillotine hanging above my head, but what they didn't see behind their pity was that i gladly fell into your arms in the end.

cut my hand on an angel’s halo, he said he’d never seen anybody bleed, what happens when the blood’s just red and not a wholesome tragedy? thought I couldn’t stand your final flight, reliving every sigh while crossing the road, till I wasn’t supposed to be there anymore. guarded my heart with his, but what happens when the knife doesn’t exist? and what happens when the ribs pierce the heart? so crushing of a hug, left only to red seeping internally, while fathoming the countless leaving, and bruised knees from hoping for the heaven you met me in.

Singing softly as our ship sank

This time our serene notes of joy,

Escaping in bubbles of desperation,

As we cling on to the broken raft of our love.

How can you call him a monster when he has my heart gently cradled between his cupped palms? So much anguish yet such a gentle hold on me. You hear your thoughts from others, and yet haven't seen the way his fingertips softly trace my neck. Although I suppose, if he had wanted to crush my heart I would have let him. How often do you witness such a sweet creature turn to pure rage from the depths of his soul?

won’t you twirl me in the rain love, while the heavens shed the tears we won’t?

(hi) (...)

i finished watching our conversation topic from a couple of months ago. the entire time, you were like a spider traipsing along my thoughts, quietly marveling at the silks you laid, carefully tucking in the corners of the bedspread I never learnt to spread. could you tell me once more, that I don't need to be right all the time? I think my compass is way wire, you haven't been singing for quite some time. my wrist still burns from when you dragged me to wonderland, the quickest film drawn out in painful hours only inside my head. We’ve been here before, the tunnel that won't end is yours, can you blame me for being afraid of heights or futures i can't quite graph on my hand? Won’t you let me scribble over your blue hands one last time? I won’t do it in permanent marker I swear, this last time.

turns out mixing narcissism with deep rooted insecurity was a spell for disaster.

and I was out in sea, the waves alive and crashing around, the distinct buzz of noise from the shore, vaguely human to my ears. miles under my floating feet, the unmistakable beating of aquatic heartbeats. and yet, surrounded by so much life how can a soul feel so empty and dead inside? all mine wants to do is float in the distinct emptiness of my still-beating heart.