Reblogging Because Its Something I Need To Read Every Once In A While. Change Fucking Scares Me But No

Reblogging because its something I need to read every once in a while. Change fucking scares me but no matter how bad it is at the start, there's always light at the end of a tunnel. I need to remember that.

I've been dubbed as a girlfail a lot throught my skimpy teenagehood. I could understand, i failed miserably at interactions, lost a lot of things, im slow at things, a bunch of reasons why i was never picked when it comes to group sports lol.

I thought the amounts of mistakes ive gotten is a normal thing, really, but then i was super confused when i saw everybody managing to do something i struggled a lot with ease. It took me a lot of times to figure out how they even work to begin with. I feel so stupid sometimes lol

I have a lot of weaknesses. And theyre very obvious. But i think my personal strengths are ones that helped me survive being stuck in this skin. Im not a very religious person, but i could still see heaven in flowers, i could feel the handprints of God in my chest. Im not very religious, but i could still enjoy it, even if i dont fully embrace it.

Im the type of person who shivers at a poetry line i found on a random literature website. Im the type of person who touches leaves and crads through the lips of flowers. I can see a lot of things. Sometimes i hate it, sometimes i love it.

I dont really know where i got it. When you look at a mirror, you cant physically see where all the things that built you came from. Its swirls around until it became you. Though, if i were to guess, it would be my love for art.

There two things i couldve picked in the early birth of my life, music or art. In here, I choose art.

My very first art was when my sister played the piano. My pudgy palms would pick up a pencil and a paper, and listen to her playing the notes. I would then draw lines that follows the beat of the sounds. Its nonsensical, a waste of paper. I drew tons of it. I dont have any direction when i first drew, all i know is just to do follow her songs. I thinks thats where i saw things the way it is.

I love art not only because i love doing it, but because every step it took to make it is a life lesson. One of the most important life lesson for me is:

"Fail fast, so you can try again faster."

Fail fast. Fail harder. Ruin your life. So you could get up, and breathe knowing that youre stronger.

I realised, that nothing is perfection. Ruin your life, so youll knew how life sees you. Failing is breaking through old skin. Saying someone is perfect is dehumanising, because that means they stopped growing; that means that theyre a finished product.

Perfection only exists when something ends. Perfection is only in you when youre a few breaths away from death.