Insp

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

Kissing Styles...

James Potter: Very… very eager, but trying really… really hard to restrain himself. Knows how to do fun things with his tongue… has had a lot of practice. All in all… he’s what people like to describe as “fun”… 8/10 

Sirius Black: Knows how to adapt. Can pretty much match anyone’s kissing style, but likes deep, intense kissing the most… Also likes biting and hickeys. As talented as he is pretty. Down for basically anything… An enjoyable experience all the way around. 11/10

Remus Lupin: Nervous. Starts off slow… then kisses like it’s the last time he’ll ever kiss someone because he always feels like it’s the last time anyone will ever want to kiss him… 6/10 when he’s nervous… 9/10 when he relaxes and let’s go. 

Peter Pettigrew: Sweats a lot… too much tongue… 4/10  

Lily Evans: Expert kisser, knows her shit… at least as far as technicalities go… but lacks spontaneity. Get’s flustered when she doesn’t see something coming like James’ tongue tricks… also gets distracted easily (”SHIT! That’s due tomorrow!”)… Overall, needs some work. 6.5/10

Frank Longbottom: Handles you like you’re made of glass… very gentle… very sweet… enjoys kissing the spot just beneath your ear. Hates biting because he’s worried he’ll hurt you. Often stops to stare or chat. Worships the ground you walk on… 8/10 for kissing… 20/10 for making you feel like a goddess. 

Alice Longbottom: Kinky as fuck. 9/10

Dorcas Meadowes: Kinkier than fuck. Kisses like she owns your ass. Also hella gay. 10/10

Marlene McKinnon: Also also hella gay… less kinky. Uses a lot of tongue… but does it right. 9/10 

Mary Macdonald: Mary sue to the max… every kiss is like a reenactment of “The Notebook”. Disney-esque. 7/10

Regulus Black: Untrusting. Tends to panic if things go too quick… or too slow… or not exactly how he planned it. Perfectionist… and a bit of a control freak… doesn’t really know how to adapt to other kissing styles. 4.5/10

Narcissa Malfoy: Reserved… until between the sheets, then she will eat you alive. Mother fucking queen. Savage. Always tops. 10/10

Lucius Malfoy: Fun to look at… Terrible kisser. -5 stars. Two thumbs way down… would not recommend…. 0/10……………. alright… 2/10 for being pretty… Also… submissive af.  

Bellatrix Lestrange: Will rip your goddam lip off. 0/10…. unless you’re into that.

Fenrir Greyback: Will rip your goddam head off. -54/10

Severus Snape: Ew. 

ways to help protestors if you are unable to protest

everybody has to do their part. as a reference, this was posted on 1 june 2020. if any links are broken or direct to a place they should not, please feel free to add on with corrections. if there is new information with better knowledge, please feel free to share. thank you.

1. donate

do not donate to shaun king. he has repeatedly collected money to “support” black people, but no one knows where the money is.

BAIL FUNDS (ALPHABETICAL ORDER; NOT A COMPREHENSIVE LIST)

note: washington dc and new jersey have cashless bail systems.

bail fund google doc (also includes lawyers for protestors)

national bail fund network (directory of community bail funds)

community bail funds masterpost by @keplercryptids

resistance funds (google sheets; lists bail funds around the country)

nationwide bail funds (split a donation to the bail funds listed on the linked page with a single transaction)

atlanta bail fund

brooklyn bail fund

colorado freedom fund

columbus freedom fund

houston chapter of black lives matter

liberty fund (nyc based; focuses services on people from low-income communities)

los angeles freedom fund

louisville community fund

massachusetts bail fund

minnesota freedom fund (as of may 30, 2020, they are encouraging people to donate elsewhere since they have raised enough money; as of may 29, 2020, they do not have a venmo, as some fraudulent accounts have been claiming, source)

philadelphia bail out fund

richmond bail fund

MORE PLACES TO DONATE

note: more links are listed in the masterposts below.

northstar health collective (healthcare and medical aid for people on the front lines)

reclaim the block (aims to redistribute police funding to help the minneapolis community)

twin cities dsa (provides fresh groceries and hot meals to people in minneapolis)

2. educate yourself

it isn’t enough to sign petitions and reblog/retweet/etc. nonblack people, including people of color, owe it to black people to educate themselves and correct themselves and the people around them on anti-blackness.

note: more links are in the masterposts linked below.

resources and tools regarding racism and anti-blackness (google sheets compilation)

readings on society, racism, the prison system, etc. (twitter thread)

“where do we go after ferguson?” by michael eric dyson

official black lives matter website

3. give out supplies to protestors

people need supplies to protest safely, and even if they bring supplies with them, they can often run out. if you’re able, stock up and hand them out to people protesting. for more supplies to donate, see the “george floyd action” google docs link in section 5.

water bottles (dehydration and heatstroke are not things people should have to deal with alongside bastard cops. if the police in your area are particularly violent or known to use tear gas, get the ones with the sports cap/suction-thing/etc so people can use them as emergency eye-flushes.)

snacks (make sure to take into account that people have allergies of all sorts. foods will have a little label that says “may contain” and then list any potential allergens. write the allergens on the ziploc (or any container you use) in permanent marker, or better yet, write the snacks included in the pack.)

masks (don’t forget there’s still a pandemic going on. also it will aid in deterring facial recognition when the police try to track down protestors,  also part two, if the cops use tear gas, wearing a mask (with the combination of a scarf or bandana) will lessen the adverse effects. lessen, not stop.)

bandanas, scarves, etc. and goggles (ski goggles, swimming goggles, etc.) (see above for explanation on the scarves. same goes for the goggles. anti–tear gas and anti–facial recognition.)

clean shirts (for people who are heavily gassed. also helps deter recognition through clothing.)

wound care supplies (band-aids, packets of neosporin packets or a similar antibiotic, alcohol wipes, etc.; if you can, decant bactine into those little travel bottles.)

a sharpie or another type of marker (for writing bail numbers or emergency contacts on arms, hands, etc. it’s not enough to have your city’s bail fund number stored on your phone; the police won’t give it to you to look it up. give people a marker so they can write it down, preferably not washable so it isn’t easily removed.)

IMPORTANT: KNOWING FIRST AID

tear gas: if you’re hit, get out as fast and as soon as you can. take anyone you can with you. the longer you’re in the gas, the harder it will be for you to see, and it can irritate your airways, making it hard to breathe. if you’re hit, don’t run; it’ll only make things worse on your lungs. when you leave the area, take a cold shower. don’t use hot water (it will only reactivate the agent); don’t bathe (it will only spread the CS around). (source 1) (source 2) (cdc fact sheet on tear gas)

move them to a clean and ventilated area where it’s as safe as possible.

ask them if they’re wearing contact lenses. have them remove it. if they’re wearing glasses, rinse it with water.

solution of half liquid antacid, half water. spray from the inside going out, with the head tilted back and slightly towards the side being rinsed. if they say it’s okay, open the eye slightly while doing this. (source)

bullet wounds: the most important thing is to stop the bleeding. be sure to check for an exit wound and cover that as well. treat both wounds, but treat the worse one first.

stop the bleed (youtube video by uc san diego health)

first aid in active shooting scenarios

making a tourniquet (a commercial tourniquet is best, but improvised ones can work as well if done properly; the most important things to remember is that tourniquets are for limb injuries and are not meant for the head or torso and that they have to be very tightly wound on the injury.)

how to apply pressure dressings

miscellaneous

adult cpr tutorial (youtube video by cincinnati children’s; think of “staying alive” by the beegees or “uptown funk”)

4. be a source of information

be responsible with this. people’s lives are at stake. that being said, the media is a fucking joke and the best way to get accurate information in a grassroots rebellion is amongst ourselves. record everything, but if you are going to share any information at all, be sure to blur people’s faces.

signal (encrypted messenger app; messages delete after x amount of time): app store | google play

tool for scrubbing metadata from images and selectively blurring identifiable features

tech tips to protect yourself while protesting (by rey.nbows on tiktok, via vicent_efl on twitter)

cop spotting 101 (google docs)

know your rights (by personachuu on twitter)

NUMBERS TO CALL FOR ARRESTED PROTESTORS (ALPHABETICAL ORDER; SOURCES LINKED TO THE NUMBER)

remember to keep phones OFF unless absolutely necessary. cell phone towers, stingrays, location notifs can all be used to track you and other protestors. don’t fuck around. if your phone must be on, keep it on airplane mode as often as possible and only communicate using encrypted methods. no, snapchat doesn’t count. (a twitter thread on stingrays, for those interested)

lawyers assisting protestors pro-bono (by riyakatariax on twitter)

atlanta: 404-689-1519

chicago: 773-309-1198

minneapolis: 612-444-2654

5. miscellaneous links and links for protestors

masterpost of petitions to sign, numbers to call, places to donate, and more (carrd by dehyedration on twitter)

#blacklivesmatter (google docs by ambivaIcnt on twitter; includes information on relevant events, other masterposts, lists of petitions and donation links, how to protest safely and protests to go to, and more)

george floyd action (google docs; includes information on apps to download, supplies to buy and donate, places to donate to, protest safety, resources on unlearning racial bias, and more)

how to get out of ziptie “handcuffs” (by finnianj on tiktok, via katzerax on twitter)

how can i help? by @abbiheartstaylor

how to make a signal-blocking cell phone pouch

tips for protestors by @aurora00boredealis

twitter thread for protestors (by vantaemuseum on twitter)

also, if you’re protesting, change your passcode. make it at least 11 characters long and don’t use facial/thumb recognition.

“Sirius told me,” James said, letting himself be dragged down the eleventh-floor corridor, “that you’re going to blow me in McGonagall’s office”

Lily snorted, pulling on his hand. “McGonagall’s office does it for you?”

James took two strides to catch up with her, still holding her hand. “You do it for me,” he said into her neck, jumper pressing against the thin fabric of her top. 

She rolled her eyes, goosebumps where he’d touched her, and pushes his head away. “Not in McGonagall’s office I don’t”

She could hear the grin in his voice. “Spoilsport. If I’ve left my party so you can show me the stars or some shi-“

“I can’t believe you hate stars.”

“I don’t hate stars” they’d started up some stairs towards a door, Lily still dragging him,

“I wouldn’t have started going out with you if I knew you were anti-star.“

“What I’m anti is my girlfriend showing me the stars and passing it off as a birthday gift.”

Lily stopped dead in front of the door and wheeled around, standing a few steps above him, head cocked. “Wait, it’s your birthday?”

James flashed her a grin. “Yeah, you didn’t hear?”

She shook her head, mock disbelief palpable. “No! how old are you turning?”

“Twelve.” He shot back.

She smiled. “Wow, hope the second-year course load isn’t hitting you too hard.” She opened the door without turning away from him, slowly pulling him into the old astronomy tower.

“It’s the girls that are gonna get me actually,” James said, still joking but not quite, dropping back to shut the door.

“You think it’s bad now,” Lily stepped closer, backing him in, “just wait till you’re in seventh-year and they refuse to blow you in McGonagall’s office.”

“Hmm,” she was close enough to see the piling on the terrible jumper he was wearing, his face angled towards hers, “and forget my birthday.”

“Unforgivable.” She said, quietly.

“Have you actually brought me up here for the stars?” he looked a bit worried, “Cause, like, if you have I was totally kidding before.”

She laughed, stepping back. “No, relax. I’ve brought you up here to show you this.” She brandished her wand and gestured to the far corner of the room. “Lumos”

James starred at the corner, confused, taking a second to get it, only then it clicked. “is that-“

“All the Quidditch brooms of the Slytherin team, yes.”

James gaped at the brooms, then back at her, eyes wide. He swallowed. “Not stars then”

She smiled, “Not quite.” She inched closer, still not touching him, save her mouth almost on his, “Happy Birthday Potter.”

drop the teabags

so i made another one bc these are hella fun to write

Remus Lupin to it is perfectly normal to cry in wonder woman: can we establish the ground rules for tonight

Sirius Black: rules schmules

Remus Lupin: do you want your arse to be front page news again?

Sirius Black: those readers were blessed

James Potter: I have it framed

Sirius Black: aww babe

Peter Pettigrew to can you die from too much Nutella?: where are you guys???

James Potter: sry SOMEONE was being dramatic

Sirius Black: it’s not my fault the hairdryer broke

Sirius Black: I couldn’t leave with DAMP hair

Peter Pettigrew: hurry the fuck up

James Potter: pete its fine

Peter Pettigrew: its raining and ive been waiting twenty mins

Peter Pettigrew: it is noT FINE

Rita Skeeter (@ritaskeeter) tweeted: ‘The Maruaders’ frontman James Potter flirts up a storm with old friend Marlene McKinnon at Oscars, are they dating?

Sirius Black (@siriuslyblack) tweeted: @jampots how could you do this to me?

James Potter (@jampots) tweeted: @siriuslyblack you weren’t supposed to find out this way

Marlene McKinnon (@marlsmckinnon) tweeted: @jamspotter you can’t afford me

James Potter (@jampots) tweeted: @marlmckinnon rude tbh

James Potter to Remus Lupin: are ppl acc believing this crap

Remus Lupin: you didn’t exactly help the situation

James Potter: what if evans sees it?

Remus Lupin: I thought you were over it

James Potter: ….

James Potter: i am

James Potter: one hundred percent

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: he’s not over it

Sirius Black: well obviously

Sirius Black: he’s been playing her album on repeat for the last three weeks

Remus Lupin: are you still stealing his spotify?

Sirius Black: im not made of money

Remus Lupin: you have a Porsche….

Sirius Black: details details

James Potter to SUIT UP: who’s doing the speech if we win the grammy?

Peter Pettigrew: I thought you were

Remus Lupin: you said you’d written it

James Potter: where’s the evidence

Remus Lupin sent a screenshot

James Potter: well shit

Rita Skeeter (@ritaskeeter) tweeted: Lily Evans throws drink over James Potter at Grammy’s, is it over his relationship with Marlene McKinnon?

Marlene McKinnon (@marlsmckinnon) tweeted: for gods sake I am NOT dating james

James Potter (@jampots) tweeted: @marlsmckinnon I’m hurt

Marlene McKinnon (@marlsmckinnon) tweeted: you know I love you rlly @jampots

Remus Lupin (@rjlupin) tweeted: @marlsmckinnon @jampots this is exactly what I was talking about

Peter Pettigrew to Sirius Black: why did she throw her drink at him?

Sirius Black: he apologised for being rude to snivilus

Peter Pettigrew: how does that make sense??

Sirius Black: but then he said it wasn’t his fault she was friends with a racist twat

Peter Pettigrew: oh

James Potter to Marlene McKinnon: did you talk to her?

Marlene McKinnon: mate you need to drop it

James Potter: I’m an idiot

Marlene Mackinnon: yes, yes you are

James Potter to Lily Evans: I’m an idiot

James Potter: and I’m sorry

Lily Evans: you can’t keep apologising and then not changing

James Potter: what do you want me to do evans?

Lily Evans: move on potter

James Potter changed the chat name to lets get drunk pls

Peter Pettigrew: u okay?

James Potter: not rly

Sirius Black: we’re on our way

The Daily Prophet (@TheDailyProphet) tweeted: James Potter photographed kissing mystery girl in back of club

Lily Evans sent a photo to Marlene McKinnon

Lily Evans: is that who I think it is

Marlene McKinnon: you’re not seriously jealous

Lily Evans: ofc not

Lily Evans: its just a bit of a surprise

Marlene McKinnon: you told him to move on lil

Lily Evans: I didn’t mean with dorcas

Rita Skeeter (@ritaskeeter) tweeted: James Potter’s mystery girl is Dorcas Meadowes, close friend of Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon, all 3 attended school with The Maruaders.

Sirius Black to no the next album will not be called sirius and the others: someone buy teabags

James Potter: there are spares under my bed

Sirius Black: about that

James Potter: you fucker

Peter Pettigrew: did you try moonys stash in his wardrobe

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: you stay away from those teabags

Sirius Black: too late

Remus Lupin: I’m telling mrs potter

Sirius Black: you wouldn’t

Remus Lupin: too late

Dorcas Meadowes to Lily Evans: u know me and james were just messing right

Lily Evans: why does everyone think I’m bothered

Dorcas Meadowes: bc u r

Lily Evans: I’m not

Dorcas Meadowes: so our snap streak ending was an accident then?

Dorcas Meadowes: 308 days !!

Dorcas Meadowes: gone !

Lily Evans: I might be slightly bothered

The Daily Prophet (@TheDailyProphet) tweeted: ‘The Marauders’ raise £2 million for charity with their new single

Lily Evans to James Potter: it’s incredible how much you guys have raised

Lily Evans: you should be really proud james

James Potter to Remus Lupin: she called me james

Remus Lupin: who?

James Potter: evans

Remus Lupin: oh

Remus Lupin: OH

James Potter to Lily Evans: thanks lily, it means a lot

Lily Evans: so… you and Dorcas?

James Potter: we’re just mates, it was a bit of fun

James Potter: we both know there’s only one girl I’m interested in

Peter Pettigrew to graham norton for prime minister: controversial idea

Sirius Black: go

Peter Pettigrew: Portugal shouldn’t have won Eurovision

Sirius Black removed Peter Pettigrew from the group

Lily Evans to James Potter: i have a question

James Potter: oooOOOooo ominous

Lily Evans: are you ever not dramatic

James potter: we literally went to stage school

Lily Evans: im just going to ask my question

Lily Evans: why is your twitter handle jampots??

James Potter: why not

James Potter: it’s iconic

Lily Evans: why do I like such a lame person?

James Potter: so you DO like me

James Potter: !!!

James potter: also who even uses lame anymore???

Lily Evans @lilevans tweeted: quick twitter poll; who thinks the word lame is lame

Sirius Black @siriuslyblack tweeted: @lilevans the REAL question is who uses semicolons in tweets ???

Remus Lupin @rjlupin tweeted: @siriuslyblack it’s like you’re allergic to good grammar.

James Potter @jampots tweeted: you’re not helping your case here evans

Lily Evans @lilevans tweeted: @jampots I’ve seen your match attacks collection sit down

Peter Pettigrew @realpete tweeted: @jampots @lilevans ouch burn

James Potter @jampots tweeted: @realpete traitor

Sirius Black to James Potter: I just read this article

James Potter: oh yeah?

Sirius Black: so we’re dating

Sirius Black: and we have a kitten called Beatrix

James Potter: what??

James Potter: it would obvs be called cassiepoiea

Sirius Black: omds cassie for short

Sirius Black: the blacks hv flaws but our names are fabulous

James Potter sent a photo to I miss Minnie telling us what disappointments we are

James Potter: me and sirius bought a kitten !!

Sirius Black: shes so cute !!!

Remus Lupin: we’re not allowed pets in the building….?

Peter Pettigrew: and I’m allergic to cats

James Potter: honestly you two are so selfish

James Potter: we can’t take her back

James Potter: are you seriously going to break her little kitten heart

Sirius Black: we already made her an instagram and everything

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: ???? hv u seen my jacket

Remus Lupin: would it kill you to use grammar properly for once

Sirius Black: nvm acc i found it

Sirius Black: also rude

Remus Lupin to bring back remus being a werewolf conspiracy theory 2k17: we going out tonight?

Sirius Black: yassss

James Potter: can’t, going for a drink w evans

Sirius Black: oooooOOOOOO

Peter Pettigrew: is that what the kids call it these days

James Potter: seriously?

James Potter: don’t answer that sirius

Sirius Black (@siriuslyblack) tweeted: this is a psa that james puts sisters before misters

James Potter (@jampots) tweeted: @siriuslyblack chill

Peter Pettigrew to 3 decent ppl + jim the traitor: james has a hickey pass it on

Sirius Black: whAT

James Potter: wtf bro

James Potter: how do you even know that

Peter Pettigrew: I came in to bring you tea

James Potter: oh yh

James Potter: thanks for that btw

Sirius Black: we’RE GETTING OFF TOPIC

Sirius Black to Euphemia Potter: james got a hickey from lily

Euphemia Potter: Lily Evans?

Sirius Black: that’s the one

Euphemia Potter: I always thought she was lovely

Euphemia Potter:  Now what’s all this I hear about you stealing remus’s teabags?

‘You ran away from home?’ ‘When I was about sixteen,’ said Sirius. ‘I’d had enough.’ ‘Where did you go?’ said Harry, staring at him. ‘Your dad’s place,’ said Sirius. ‘Your grandparents were really good about it; they sort of adopted me as a second son.’

(and I know this set will probably be confusing to some people since a lot of people like Kristin Scott Thomas as Walburga but she’s always been Mrs. Potter to me)

Why hasn’t this been done before?

April 15th: Found

Day 15 of @hinnymicrofic, posted a few days late. Busy weekends, and all that.

“Aha!” Ginny exclaims suddenly, triumphant. “I found it!”

Harry attempts to mask his amusement. She’s clasping his palm in one of her small, freckled hands, while diligently referencing Unfogging the Future, trailing her finger along the text with the other. 

“This is your head line,” Ginny says, pointing to the faint line running horizontally somewhere in the vicinity of the center of his palm. “Awfully short, don’t you think?”

Harry squints at the line, and then back up to the twisted line of her smirk. “What’s short supposed to mean, then?”

Ginny looks down at the textbook and reads, “Those with below-average head lines tend to be incredibly thick. They befriend lanky red-headed gits, play Seeker, and they often don’t notice when girls give them hundreds of opportunities to–”

“That’s what the book says, does it?”

“It’s all here, Harry. Who am I to question fate?”

“You shit.”

Ginny snickers and releases his hand, which Harry regrets immediately. “Divination is such rubbish, I can’t believe an examiner is going to actually evaluate me on this.”

“Ron and I just made things up,” Harry remembers. “Seemed to go fine.”

“Didn’t you get a P?”

“Yep,” Harry says unconcernedly, lifting her hand and examining her palm as though reading it. “But then we got to drop it altogether.”

“Hm,” Ginny considers. “Maybe your head line is longer than I thought.”

Her hands are small, almost delicate looking. He glances at the textbook, sees a diagram with lines like “heart” and “marriage” and “life” that can allegedly be foretold. He has a brief, cynical moment where he wonders how short those lines are on his palm, and then feels grateful Ginny hadn’t mentioned it. Hadn’t mentioned any of the sticky ones, really. 

“If you squint really hard you can see my money line,” Ginny jokes. “It says I have nine sickles.”

He looks up at her, strangely overcome with the sensation of being understood; that she’d know without needing to explain how difficult it would be for him to talk about an uncertain future, that she’d gravitate toward taking the piss and joking about sickles to spare him. 

“I’ve got a prediction,” Harry says. 

“Oh yes?”

I’ll never get over you. “You’re going to get a D in Divination.”

She laughs in that unrestrained way she has, and Harry wonders if what he’s found with her has etched itself into his palm, something permanent, irrefutable. He can’t bear to check.

I headcanon that Baby Harry knew Sirius’s secrets more than even James, as Sirius would tell Harry absolutely everything, as he rocked him to sleep.

“It took me 30 years, but I finally cracked the Eligius Three mission file. Turns out it wasn’t a mining mission. After sucking the Earth dry of oil, they went looking for another planet to tap. I set the coordinates a week ago. If I’m right, you should get there in… 75 years. I’m tempted to put myself in cryo to see it, but without Harper… Anyway, it’s in the Goldilocks zone of a binary star system. But that’s all I know. Eligius Three never radioed back or, if they did, it was after apocalypse one, so, no one heard it. Can you see it? Is it beautiful? It is in my dreams. I hope we do better there. I hope Jasper was wrong and we aren’t the problem. I hope your lives there will be as happy as mine has been. Be the good guys. May we meet again.” - End Book one.