Sorry To Report But I Will Never Stop Being Insufferable About Neil And His Bandana

everytime jean looked at kevin and riko, he saw what he and nathaniel could’ve had if mary hadn’t run. not the part about being the best, he never cared about that. he just wanted a brother. he wanted someone to suffer with him like everyone else had. everyone else around him had a partner, why couldn’t he? it’s jean starting to resent kevin for having everything he never would and then leaving it all behind.

in a raven! neil au, it’s the opposite. it’s kevin looking at jean and neil and wishing that’s what HE had. a partner that defends him and helps him instead of being the one to hurt him (both physically and emotionally). to get to be a great player without being forced in front of cameras. someone who he’s actually close with instead of just calling him ‘brother’ for the sake of them being the Sons of Exy. he just wanted to be (what he thought was) normal. kevin would start to resent jean the same way jean resented him in canon.

Andrew Minyard doesn’t recover

And that’s okay- here’s why

Many people have been angry about the extra content through the years, but by far the thing that I see the most people being pissed about is this, “Andrew and Neil doesn’t get married” and the “they never say I love you”

But let’s talk about this for a minute

Because just because he doesn’t recover, doesn’t mean he doesn’t get better

He does, he keeps a stable relation to his brother, cousin and Kevin after graduation, something he wouldn’t have before

He let’s himself care for Neil and the cats

He starts finding some sort of joy in Exy with the people he cares about and who cares about him

He gets well enough to sleep in the same bed as Neil and have sex with him

He gets well enough to go on mundane dates with his partner on the beach, FaceTime Nicky on schedule and cuddle up with the cats at night

He gets a lot better

Don’t relate “full recovery” to “getting better” because they’re wildly different

He shows that even if you do not recover completely from the trauma you’ve suffered, from the hurt, you can still live and be happy with the people you love

So if I see one more person saying that he’s “bad mental health rep” I might actually have to fight them

love at first sight

I DON'T BELIEVE IN COMEDY! (...) JUST KIDDING!

Don't FUCKING argue with me. "Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag. He didn't want the nicotine; he wanted the acrid smoke that reminded him of his mother." Is a fucking dynamite intro!! Is it edgy as fuck? Yeah. So? Is it hella melodramatic? Probably. So? Is it bad writing? Motherfucking NO! It's damn near expert level execution of several writing principles!

Who is the story about? First two words, next question.

Catch the reader's attention as soon as possible? "Why the fuck is he wasting a cigarette?" Intrigue successfully demanded, next question.

Raise questions that will keep the reader hanging long enough to have answered? "Why the fuck does acrid smoke trigger his mommy issues?" + "Wait it's because he burned her corpse??" Many many more questions raised + blind sided reader via preconceived expectations being subverted, next question.

Character establishing moment? What other characters use for physical and emotional regulation, he uses to fucking reminisce and wallow in his feelings, next question.

Set the tone for the rest of the story? Edgy, melodramatic, and emotionally gut wrenching, NEXT. FUCKING. QUESTION!

The Muses asked Nora to roll for Hook and she rolled a nat 20 five times in a row in 30 words or less. Hook, Line, and motherfucking Sinker bitches

Some of y'all need to stop ragging on AFTG's writing and start using it as a fucking case study cus this shit has the addiction capacity of heroine and god help the goddamn saltine cracker throwing stones

We all know that Neil has two smiles, his "Neil-smile" and his "Nathaniel-smile". I went through the books to see how many times Neil actually smiles, because god knows it's not that many.

His "Nathaniel-smile" pops up a few times, usually when he's around Riko, threatening someone, or daydreaming about his father's gruesome death.

"Are you threatening a federal agent?" Nathaniel smiled so hard his burns ached. "I wouldn't dare."

He smiles his normal or "Neil-smile" a total of eight times through the series. Never in the first book, twice in the second, and six times in the third. Out of these eight, four were towards Andrew, one to Kevin, one to Wymack, one to Nicky, and one to Matt.

Nicky subsided with a lightning-quick grin in Neil's direction. Neil managed a small smile back.

The original point of this post was that Neil really doesn't smile or laugh or anything as much as he does in fanfictions and stuff. Andrew and Neil are not a grumpyxsunshine trope, Neil is not the light to Andrew's darkness, they're both massively fucked up and Neil does his crazy serial killer smile more often than his regular one.

He couldn't sleep, but at least he could daydream his father's death over and over again. That was almost enough to make him smile, and eventually it thawed the chill from his veins.

Anyways, that 𝘸𝘢𝘴 the original point of the post, but now I'm stuck thinking about how cute it is that he literally smiles only eight times throughout the entire series, and 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 of them are to Andrew. It's so fucking cute, especially when you consider the circumstances of the rest of them.

Andrew, who for once hadn't wasted their time denying that this thing between them might actually mean something to both of them. Neil hadn't even noticed the silence at first, too distracted by his dizzying thoughts. Now he couldn't help but smile and pull Andrew in.

He shares a tired smile with Kevin after the first Raven match. He smiles when Wymack picks up the phone when he calls him after he comes back from Evermore. He returns Nicky's grin with a small smile to reassure himself when Riko comes to watch their match against the Longhorns. And he gives Matt a tight smile during the final match against the Ravens.

"Neil?" All the gruff posturing left Wymack's voice; that sharp edge was all alarm. "Are you all right?" Neil smiled. It felt like it tore his face open. "No. No, I'm not. I know it's kind of sudden, but can you come get me? I'm at the airport."

With Andrew, basically every single time is directly 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 of him. Those smiles are some of the only times he actually feels or shows genuine pleasure or happiness, and I just think that's so cute.

It wasn't funny—none of this was—but that response was so obnoxious and so typically Andrew that Neil couldn't help but smile.

Technically he does smile a ninth time, at all of the Foxes, but since that was immediately after and because of Riko's death, I'm tempted to classify it as a "Nathaniel-smile" lmao.

Neil looked from one tired face to the next, soaking them in, reveling in everything they'd accomplished tonight and imagining how they'd react when they heard the news tomorrow. "What's so funny?" Nicky asked when he spotted Neil in the doorway. Neil hadn't realized he was smiling. "Life?"

(Also the word smile no longer feels like a word to me now. I never realised how often Renee smiled until I had to go through every single time any character smiled in the books)

Still expecting Jeremy Knox to have some "How to get away from your toxic/rich/influential/exy hating family" classes,by the expert herself : Allison Reynolds

whether the monsters would fall while drunk running:

neil: absolutely not. that boy has been running since before he could walk and there is no way after all that running under so many kinds of pressure that he wouldn’t be able to handle drunken shenanigans

aaron: can run drunk surprisingly well but also will lose the ability to handle curbs or stairs and has tripped and ended up on the ground before

nicky: yes, 110% yes. definitely a drunk runner. cannot let him out of your sights bc he might decide to go on a little adventure and he largely overestimates his coordination and will be on the ground before he knows it

andrew: honestly i can’t imagine him running while drunk…….. but i don’t see him falling either. he has too much decorum

kevin: yes. less than nicky but yes and he will swear to you otherwise. you’d think after drinking so much he would have a better handle on things but there’s a reason he doesn’t dance and he only had practice controlling his speech and facial expressions while drunk

sorry to say but i desperately need an over 100,000 word slow burn of abbot and robby falling in love with them being idiots, them struggling to deal with their trauma, robby navigating his relationship with his religion, abbot having chronic pain, tragic backstory, nonlinear healing, etc etc etc

they are so so fractured and broken and i need them to be in love and messily figuring out how to heal with each other

imagine that jeremy knox has cowboy boots shoved in the back of his closet. jeremy knox who has a matching cowboy hat. jeremy knox that knows line dances. jeremy knox that has a complicated relationship with them because “he is not my grandfather” but a part of him loves the dances anyway. jeremy knox that teaches jean line dances after cat discovered jean doesn’t know how to dance and made it her mission to introduce them to him. jeremy knox who mimics tipping his hat. jeremy knox who sees jean picking up on the dance enough that he pulls his boots and hat from the back of the closet to show it to him properly. jeremy knox who learns to be okay loving line dances through doing them with jean. jeremy knox line dancing