"no Spam Liking" Stfu That's How I Know My Mutuals Are Alive Smh

(this includes all and any jackass and jackass presents movies, too <3)

I have no motivation to write today whatsoever but I have 2 asks and 2 drafts someone please help me I'm dying

HELLO I have been stalking you page for a while and then I see this and I'm so happy because I wanted to request, what would it be like dating newt but then a greenie comes and like starts flirting with you and newt is about to step up to help you but then you just like punch the guy and he like passes out, but remember you don't have to do this if you want or you don't have to get it done right away but I even just want to say thank you for reading this have a good [day- afternoon- night] <3

newt x FEM!reader

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒! none

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! swearing because I refuse to say shuck, catcalling, greenie doesn't get the hint, kinda short??

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒! on mobile, format might be weird. lowercase intended, unedited, double periods intended

you had arrived in the glade shortly after alby did, so you had always been used to greenies showing interest in you. as boy after boy arrived, it had almost become a game. a greenie would arrive and see you as soon as the box was opened, and they would be told off by all the others, whom had already discovered that you werent interested in any of the boys of the glade. after each boy was told that there wasn't a chance in hell that you would be with them, and after you had told them no about 50 times, they had all given up.

but that all changed the next time the box came up. the greenie that inhabited the box was newt, the only greenie that you would ever be interested in. as soon as he came up in the box, you knew he was different. his blonde hair was the first thing you noticed, but his accent followed closely after. you loved his accent, it was the most bizarre thing you had ever experienced, due to not having any memory of the outside world. well, besides your whole situation. you still played hard to get despite your growing feelings towards him. every time you had work, you asked newt to accompany you. you blamed it on the fact that he was a good worker, but really, you just wanted to be around him as much as you could.

when newt finally asked you to be his girlfriend, you were doing your work in the garden. he had already finished his work for the day so he was standing near you, giving you playful words of encouragement every time you yelled that you were tired. you two were talking about the gladers, and newt had asked if you would ever date one of them. you looked up at him and wiped the sweat off of your forehead with a dirty hand, before sighing and looking back at the ground. "well, no, but there's one guy.. I don't think he'd ever be with me though, so.." you paused and decided not to continue. he looked at you with a fake smile on his face, and raised an eyebrow. "oh yeah? well who is it?" when you stayed silent he bugged you some more, pleading with you to tell him. "oh come on, you know I won't tell anyone!" you sighed and stood up before walking away.

newt walked quickly after you and grabbed your hand, turning you back to him, before apologizing to you. "look, I never meant to upset you..". you took a deep breath while newt paused. he began speaking again, "I just, I really like you and I want you to be my girlfriend.."

your eyes went wide and lit up before you plastered kisses across his face and screamed, hugging him as tightly as you could. everyone in the glade heard you scream and raced over to you, expecting to see you being attacked by something, but when they saw you with your lips on newts and your arms around his shoulders, most of them walked away with a frown on their face. the boys still held hope that one day you just might open up to one of them and give in to their advances, but not one of them thought it would be newt. alby patted newt on the back and congratulated the two of you, and gally stood back with a smirk on his face as he chuckled. "I see the beast was finally tamed". you giggled and turned to him, rolling your eyes playfully before walking back to the garden to return to your chores.

many months and many greenies later, it was a hot day and you and newt were trying to escape the sun by laying under a tree in the forest. you had been expecting the box to come up any minute, so since you two had nothing to do, you had been tasked with waiting and watching for it. when it finally came up and the boy came to his senses a few hours later, he came up to you and asked for your name. you told him it was y/n, and thankfully, alby came up and dragged you away before he could bother you anymore.

after that, the boy would never leave you alone. even though he knew you were with newt, it didn't stop him from shouting at you as you were working. "hey, pretty thing! where's your guard dog? you get bored of him yet? ill show you a good time!" you groaned and rolled your eyes, flipping him off as you walked past him. you walk up to newt, who wasn't too far away. he was out of eyeshot but not earshot, so he had heard what the greenie said and was about to go stand up to him when you stopped him. it wasn't worth it.

however, the greenie seemed to have a different idea. "come on baby, you know newt could never make you feel as good as I could!". that was your last straw, the boy had been harassing you ever since he arrived and you thought he would stop once he met newt, but you decided you needed to take matters into your own hands. walking up to him, you cracked your knuckles and drew your fist back, before connecting it with his nose. you heard a loud crack and a few boys ran up to you to see what happened, but they understood when they saw a sick grin on your face and the knocked out greenie on the ground with a bloody, broken nose.

newt laughed and grabbed you by the waist, dragging you off to who knows where. he had never been more in love than he had just then, and even if he had, he hadn't remembered it.. so..

oh okay wow my followers doubled since the last time I looked at them I was not expecting that,,, TYSM 😻😻😻

ive never thirsted for Michael Myers before but.... hot damn..

🩸

guys that picture of Matthew is like making my eyes jizz I swear,,,

Me: I watch Scream for the plot!!

The plot:

bam in jackass the movie, you will always be famous ♡

Does Stu ever worry that he's going to actually hurt us? Or even kill us?

Yeah I think so. His rough kinks, along with those violent, psychopathic tendencies makes a volatile mix.

Kind of like cuteness aggression.  He loves you, he owns you, you're just so damn perfect for him that it overwhelms him sometimes.

His thoughts stray to hurting you probably more often than they should. Fantasies of rough sex turning bloody in a way that's more fatal than kinky.

He could do it, he's big, he's strong and you're just his precious little bunny. A power trip he has a hard time resisiting but he does. He doesn't want you dead, although that's definitely a fantasy he's had before.

It doesnt bother him most of the time, just thoughts and jerk off material about the person he loves, no biggy. But every now and then it'll hit him hard. The realisation that he could seriously hurt you, could kill you, It makes his blood run cold, his heart skip a beat and he hates himself for it. Even if he does jerk off to the thoughts once in a blue moon and feels a little guilty after he's cum so hard he sees stars.

Spends the next day being obnoxiously clingy and affectionate, reassuring himself that everything's normal, that he's normal. Nothing wrong with a little fantasy.