Momma Didnt Raise A Quitter But She Did Raise A Fool And It Turns Out Those Two Things Are A Terrible

a vampire stands on the front porch of a farmhouse and says “i cannot come in unless i am invited”. the vampires friend, a cowboy, says “cmon, you know youre always welcome here, partner.” the vampire begins crying.

“without the police there would be mayhem”

Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone (CHAZ) was watching educational documentaries last night

the word lover is so infinitely soft. So universal. So timeless. Two girls with awkward, hungry hands. A boy and a girl in the dark. Two men in empty light. A marriage of 40 years. Letters over eons. Sappho’s poems. The corner of a mouth. Lovers, lovers, lovers.

remember when dash drama looked like this

I’m

⚪️ living in the moment

⚪️ stuck on the past

⚪️ paranoid about the future

🔘 longing for a gorgeous immortal being with a horrifying backstory to turn me into his eternal partner so I can abandon all responsibilities and live away from society as we know it

http://grandenchanterfiona.tumblr.com/post/125317475373/kermit-the-frog-voice-sweet-mother-sweet

when ur fidgeting with a pen and it just flies fuckin. halfway across the room and you just try to pretend like you didn’t just launch a small projectile instead of writing notes with it like ur fukn supposed to do

what people flagrantly misunderstand about culturally iconic ‘logicians’ like spock and sherlock holmes is that they are fuckinggggg annoying. like you canNOT write for nor adapt either of these characters properly without understanding that they are admirable in many ways, yes, but they are repeatedly and gleefully, ON PURPOSE, fucking massive nuisances to literally every sane individual around them, all the time. they love bothering people, they LOVE it, it makes them SO HAPPY, and THAT, not their brilliance, is what makes them the best. spocks a BITCH

If I was in the bathroom trap with Adam and he’s asking if they took his kidneys I would ask “is that a tramp stamp?” just to fuck with him.