I Need To Know Every Language Immediately

reading books like the secret history is always such a wild ride, because i'm fully aware that it's a criticism of aesthetic hedonism and the elitism of academia, and then i'll read a line like " if we are strong enough in our souls we can rip away the veil and look at that naked, terrible beauty right in the face; let God consume us, devour us, unstring our bones. then spit us out reborn" and i go absolutely fucking feral.

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

Oh to be a cat sleeping in a music shop

gotta admit, I'm impressed with their dedication to the bit

Things my professors have said: chemistry edition

"a human is just a sack of water"

"I once heard one of our professors explain to another one how incredibly important physical chemistry is. The other one replied, 'Yes I know. But it's so boring'"

[draws a goat on the wipeboard]

"I thought to myself, 'god, I'm still so young and these people are building a hydrogen bomb next door!'"

"the alchemists were lonely people because they stank"

"look at this unit! Physicists make everything more complicated"

"hydrogen is that guy who does sports. Deuterium is the one who wishes he did"

"not a day goes by that something doesn't explode in this faculty. Our dearly departed professor [name] who blew himself up in his laboratory and died on the spot-"

"who here enjoys trigonometry?" [Several people raise their hands] "you're weird"

"generally speaking, you can't write one over zero or else everyone gets a stroke - so we're going to use these anti-stroke brackets"

"when I was a little kid I liked to play with mercury. You don't do that though!"

And my personal favorite:

"so many great inventions in science have been made because people dream - so, I encourage you all to dream every day"

the secret history is so wild. like there's a hundred different analysis essays you could write about it and it's meaning and whatnot. but there's also a genius who thinks of elaborate ways to kill someone but didn't know or believe that the moon landing happened. they pull off the murder of their classmate and don't get caught. they try to hit a wasp with a prayer book during said classmate's funeral service. the unreliable narrator does cocaine in a burger king parking lot. said unreliable narrator lives in a hippie's house that has a hole in the roof in a vermont winter and doesn't realize it's literally killing him. the absolute hilarious unhinged energy from this book is overshadowed by a writing style where the most batshit things seem almost mundane. i love it.

x

rip sigmund freud you would’ve loved living in the generation where we use “daddy” and “mommy” to refer to people we find attractive 💀

the "say something" text on the message box has never felt so taunting. im so scared.