When You Live At The Circus ~ B.c

When you live at the circus ~ b.c

Written by @chqnverse ♡

inspired by "carousel " by melanie martinez

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you didn't knew anything else than life at the circus with animals, you where the tightrope walker at the circus :: dancing on a smal rope day in and out ending your day falling in the smal bed together with your best friend. he was mostly dancing or singing he loved it you both did. your parents let you grow up together. every once a month people came to cheer on you and your best friend performance together. but recently you grew tired of it, tired of dancing or walking on a rope high up in the air but you couldn't tell that anyone not even chan your best friend because you saw how much fun he had singing for people so you keept your mouth shut.

tomorrow was a big show with more people than usually... you weren't nervous you had done that a million times. chan was worried everytime he saw you walking on that thin rope without any safety to catch you if you fall... 'y/n are you sure you don't want to dance on the floor? it would be much safer and-' you pulled up the dress over your corset shaking your head. 'felix we talked about this' you did you told him many times that it was easy for you like riding a bicycle but he was never satisfied so he hums like always. 'could you close my corset please?' you asked softly making him smile at you and do as asked. you already heard the loud voices talking. 'you gonna sing or dance today' you mumbled watching him pull the ropes of the corset 'dance with felix and minho..' he said making a bow at the end. you turn around looking at his hazel eyes 'good luck channie'.

chan looks at you you looked damm gorgeous, your curled up hair bouncing up and down as you walked away for him, glittet make up on your face over your eyelids some glitter stones making them shine in the light.

you looked like a princess to him. he was wearing a white outfit that looked burned one some parts a chain decorating his belly (sorry couldn't resist choosing that outfit ) he looked at the mirror before leaving the little room he heard people scream your name he looked at the rope there you stood in the middle of it legs spread sitting on the rope. he watched you making stunts he knew them all. as you stood on the rope and bowed towards the people you suddenly lost balance feeling nauseous seeing dots in front of your eyes. chan's mouth fell open in a gasp the people mirror his expression. the director ran towards your body on the floor.

┊✧*🩰｡°࿐ 5 Months later....

you where sitting on the bed your right feet wrapped up in a bandage. since you feel down chan didn't even let you anywhere near the rope saying that you are ' still not healed y/n' you slowly where getting angry one day it all becomes to much when you went on the rope without anyone's knowing. chan saw you slowly walking in the middle as you came down his expression told you that he wasn't pleased at all. 'y/n' his tone was warning 'didn't I told you not to go up there until you are healed?' you look at the sand covered floor. 'I'm sorr-' chan just shakes his head 'no you are not y/n you shouldn't risk you life just to hear people call your again' he said eyes never leaving you 'you will stay away from that rope until the doctor confirmed that your healed' your eyes widened 'you are not my father chan you can't keep me away from doing what I love ...' chan took your hand 'this is not how it works y/n' he wanted to pull you towards your dressing room.

'then how does it work chan huh tell me? do you like the thought of never seeing the world only dancing for peoples amusement? never getting to feel someone's love because the rules are set like this?' your voice full of anger and pain. it was true chan deeply wishes he could love one person but he couldn't it was against the rules...don't fall in love with someone you work with... his mind hates the rule. he deeply wishes he could tell you how much he loves you since you where kids. 'y/n do you think I don't know this? they will punish us for not following the rules and you are risking that..do you want them to punch and slap you? I don't so you are not going near this fuc*ing rope again' you wince at the raising tone of his voice. 'chan I - I don't think' chan chuckled 'you never do y/n do even know how much I love you-' your mind races he said he loved you. chan loved you, your body moved before you could think straight you hugged him tight stopping his rant. 'I love you too...' you whispered again his chest.

for a moment chan stops and wrapped his arms protectively around you he tryed to breath in every second he had like this, the way your scent enveloped him like flowers, the way your eyes are closed hiding the beautiful y/e/c eyes he loved so much. your hair tied up in a messy bun be loved so much. 'y/n...you know we can't-' chan tryed to say but you quickly interrupted him 'let's run away...far away...and start new just you and me' chan pulls away with wide eyes 'are you insane our money will never be enough for that' you shrugged. he pulls away and you immediately miss his warmth and closeness. 'I am going' you said confidently starting to walk away from him your leg hurting a bit. chan's eves began to water 'your gonna leave me?'. he asked voice shaking. 'you can always follow me channie' you smiled over his shoulder. 'come with me?' you said voice full of hope. chan studies you and slowly shakes his head.

'I can't y/n...I can't just leave and pretend this never happened the money wouldn't be enough and we couldn't even life somewhere' your eyes showed everything you didn't speak out loud sadness mostly present.

'well I guess this is a goodbye then chan... see you some time again' you waved him making him want to run towards you and hold you for ever but he held himself back. he couldn't just leave. his heart was screaming at him to stop you but his brain told him to let you go and move on.

...will he ever see you again?...