I Be Checking My Phone Like Someone Cares About Me Lol

I've been worried ever since I was born

who up experiencing emotions they can talk to no one about

like yeah. you're not a bad person just because you're disabled. but also you're not a good person for being abled. you're not a good person for being abled. it doesn't make you better than disabled people. you're not a good person for being abled. internalise it. it's not a reward. you did nothing to deserve this - because health is not something that people "deserve" or don't. it's something they have or not, for any number of reasons

chronic illness really makes the weirdest ‘would you rather’ scenarios come to life.

like, would you rather: show up to christmas with no presents for anyone or show up having not showered for a week?

would you rather: feed yourself or do the dishes?

you can choose both but your penalty is to spend an unknown amount of time bedbound afterwards.

I won't lie gang... this past month I have gone from using a cane to get around outside to only using my wheelchair- propelled by someone else- to get from my bedroom to the bathroom. needless to say my condition is progressing at a really steady rate and things are getting scary. I am unable to make myself food or even hold my phone and type for too long. However as this is all so new and happening over the christmas/new year period I am not getting adequate assistanc or healthcare as I still need to APPLY FOR ASSISTANCE to help me APPLY FOR ASSISTANCE which could overall take 6+ months. Despite people pushing me to remain hopefull, I can really only see myself getting worse from here. My resilience can only keep me awake for so long. What I really want to ask, specifically the me/cfs community but the wider chronic illness community too, is for help arranging a sort of "living will" for however long I'll be alive but not able to do very much. my will for what happens to the life that I used to have before it all got worse - and how I would like to be taken care of. Are there any templates out there that I can send to my carers? If not that, some advice or words of support anybody can give?

weird as fuck living in a culture where it's considered more impolite to speak up and defend yourself against someone treating you unfairly than it is for someone to be rude to you in the first place

Image ID:]

A grid with four squares. The first square reads 'the day after overdoing it: "huh, I don't feel as bad as I thought I would!". The square next to it shows a picture of the "The Fool" tarot card from the Modern Witch Tarot Deck.

The third square reads 'That evening, trying to get to sleep:'. The fourth square shows the "Ten of Swords" tarot card from the Modern Witch Tarot Deck. It's shows a white femme character lying on their side, on their phone, while ten swords are stuck in their side.

[End of image ID.]

doctors hate her! This woman is experiencing symptoms that might point to a health problem and wants doctors to do something about it

I think that it's really important for people to realize that being disabled is traumatic. genuinely. your body and brain feel like they are breaking down and wrong. you are in constant heavy stress from stuff like chronic pain. most disabled people i know have a somewhat regular emotional break down from the trauma of it all. and we are expected to just smile through it by society, to not be in the way, to not be an issue.