How To Spot Signs And Symptoms Of Breast Cancer 

Lucifer: *Wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Asmodeus: I see you're bursting out the spring colors.

———

Mammon, rolling down the car window: what seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: get the FUCK out of my car

———

Luke: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it

Luke: And I started thinking

Luke: Like it was just trying to get food

Luke: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck

Luke: How would I feel

Simeon: Are you okay???

———

Mammon: You should always say "please" and "thank you".

Baby! Satan, deadpanned: Please shut the fuck up, thank you.

Mammon: Not what I meant, but still progress!

———

Mammon: *flirts with MC*

MC: *flirts back*

Mammon, internally: i did not plan up to this point. what the fuck do i do now…?

———

Belphegor: *washing the dishes* Who the fuck used this pan??

Belphegor: Wait. I the fuck used this pan...

MC: It was you the fuck

Satan: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Beelzebub: He the fuck

———

MC: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an Energy Smoothie would it kill me?

Solomon: *shrugs* Only if you die young

MC, getting out the blender: You're so smart

Mammon, running into the room: MC STOP-

———

Satan: I'm gonna open a cat cafe, but I need investors. Here's the plan. The first floor will have normal cats, but as you go up, each floor will have more and more dangerous cats, and at the top floor is me with a gun.

———

Beelzebub: *is carrying all the groceries*

M: *holds out hand to help*

Beelzebub: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold MC’s hand*

———

Asmo: And once again, Asmo and Solomon save the day.

Barbatos: You didn't do anything. It was all Solomon.

Asmodeus: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.

———

Diavolo: Would you kiss me for 1k grimm?

Lucifer: Why?

Diavolo: Just curious

Lucifer, playing along: ..I suppose

Diavolo: [Slams 1k onto the table] would you look at that-

Solomon who gives off raw humanity after you actually get to know him. He's just a lovesick, scarily powerful, fool. He'll sit there for hours and ramble about magic and TSL and pacts and his work to you if you let him. Ask him about his star obsession, urge him to tell you stories about his travels and findings and adventures. But please, please remember that he's more than just some immortal sorcerer capable of great things, hold him from time to time, sit and just exist with him, please.

Let Solomon be human with you. He's so used to carrying the weight of humanity on his shoulders, sometimes he forgets he's only human, too. He might be fun and he might be strong and he might be wise, but it's been too long since he's had someone hold his hand and glide their thumb over his knuckles.

Please let him ramble about the rain or the way trees creak or the way stars twinkle like they're laughing. Please let him take you to different places and get excited with you over things he's purposefully never sought the answer to in order to keep a part of himself curious. Please sit with him in the silence of each other and just let him let his guard down.

Solomon who wants to be human with you. Solomon who is human with you.

Happy Pride!

Do you think demons crack their joints?

It was a lazy, rainy evening in the Devildom. An oddly calm one. The residents of the House of Lamentation were gathered in the living room, mainly because that's where you were.

Beelzebub and Mammon were snacking and watching Leviathan play his handheld game. Asmodeus was browsing a magazine, Satan was browsing a book, and Lucifer was texting with Barbatos.

Belphegor had been dozing off on your shoulder for a while. It was hard to move under the demon's weight. You had been stuck in the same pose browsing your D.D.D. until he finally shifted, leaning back into the couch. You seized the opportunity to roll your shoulders and take a much needed stretch.

You lifted your arms. It felt great. Crack.

"What was that?" Satan asked, glancing up from his book.

"Beel probably sat on a chip," Mammon said. Levi snorted, too busy to take his eyes off the game but in agreement with Mammon for once.

"It wasn't me." Beelzebub stood up to prove his innocence, revealing no food under him.

"It was me," you said. "Just my back."

"Hon, what?" "Your what?" Asmodeus and Lucifer spoke at the same time, and both gave you a concerned look.

"My back? I just cracked it."

The demons sprung out of their seats like you had just cursed them. Levi's game system fell to the carpet. Since he was already standing, Beelzebub strode over and pulled the back of your shirt up, asking "does it hurt?"

Startled, you pulled the front of your shirt down for modesty. "Woah, hello? Excuse me? Uh, what?"

While everyone gathered to stare at your back, Belphegor was stirred awake. "What's going on?"

He went to lean on your shoulder again, but Mammon swatted him away. "Hey! Can't ya see they're injured?" he growled. Belphegor huffed at him, deciding instead to help hold your shirt up.

"Poor thing!" Asmo cooed. With one hand he grabbed your wrist, and with the other he made a peace sign. "Look at me, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"I'm fine. Everybody just chill." Despite your insistence, the panic had already set in and nobody was listening to you.

Leviathan was shaking. "T-that's not good, right? Humans aren't supposed to make those kind of sounds." He was covering his eyes with his hands squeamishly but peeking through his fingers to stare anyway. "A doctor! Are there any human doctors? Should we call Solomon?"

"Yes, somebody call Solomon," Lucifer commanded. "Where did the crack occur?" He started gently prodding around your spine, making you squirm.

Satan tried to bump Lucifer's hand away from you while placing himself in Lucifer's spot. "Can't you see they don't like that? You're making it worse."

"Deep breaths," Mammon instructed you, breathing deeply in and out. He seemed on the brink of hyperventilation himself.

Lucifer refused to budge, but Satan persisted. He was now also poking you. "The damage isn't visible yet, but there could be internal bleeding. You have to lay down."

Belphegor scooted over to make more room, despite your protest of "I'm not going to move, nothing is wrong."

Asmodeus managed to already get Solomon on the phone. You couldn't hear him over Asmo's worried shrieks but knew he had to be laughing. Solomon was not going to let you forget this incident.

Beel, Lucifer, and Satan moved to try and pick you up but enough was enough. "I said I'm fine!! Everybody stay!"

The seven went crashing to the floor, finally allowing you to cover up. "I am fine! I'm fine! See!" You stood up dramatically and grabbed Asmo's D.D.D. to apologize to a snickering Solomon.

The demons were annoyed and concerned as they tried to pick themselves up. "If you're so fine, then explain that noise," Satan said.

"Humans just do that from time to time."

...they're a shepherd. the world-hater majik, they're a shepherd.

the staff, the vaguely sheep/goat-like appearance, the little bell!!

they're a goddamn shepherd!! ichi is a hunter!! hunters go in and compete with the rest of the forest!! death for death!! and what would be the opposite of that? someone who raises their food and unilaterally slaughters it, at no risk to themselves!!

god. this manga just gets better and better chapter in, chapter out

edit: post not canceled but to be updated due to subsequent developments. which is to say, hey, how about that lamb to the slaughter, huh?

edit 2: follow up!!

Oh love them and love to think of most of them in like a Marvel kind of universe but I've got three more for my personal Tumblerverse.

God of Snakes and their child worshippers

God of Prophecy and the first true believer in forever

Unoffical AU sequel of God of Arepo

Oh dope

Physical Human things that freak Demons out

Musings

Humans have more endurance/Stamina and flexibility and general hardiness than either Angels or Demons. Sure Angels and Demons are super fast, super strong and magic, but I think the average human walking could outdistance a demon walking at the same pace. (Humans are pursuit predators after all)

As for hardiness, yeah humans are easy to kill - however, if they don’t die they survive a whole hell of a lot, some of which would actually kill a demon)

IE Humans can survive losing limbs but its basically fatal to demons and angels. Humans can also get their limbs re-attached, but once a Demon or Angel looses a limb, it’s pretty much gone except in the most ideal of circumstances. (Their physiology makes it extremely complex and difficult, magic or otherwise to reattach)

This is mostly going to be about Demon reactions, because I think that Angels have either had enough exposure that they’re chill about it, or they’re able to keep their composure. Luke may be taken aback at first, but after you and Simeon explain that humans can just do that, he thinks it’s cool!

Headcannons for this are the Human introducing Just Dance or something and just winning by default bc no one else can do the moves, even if the MC has limited mobility or strength. Or them doing super mundane things like reaching behind them or twisting their back to look over. I also think Humans have more fluid motion than Angels or Demons bc of the flexibility and also bc we are full of fluid lol. Not necessarily graceful - just fluid. I also think we have a winder range of motion in general, like our joints

This is a continuation of the flexibility thing - Levi may stream occasionally and one time the MC was on the stream (accidentally or invited ect) and they give Levi a thumbs up and the chat and Levi absolutely lose their minds (doubly so for a hitchhikers thumb) because Demons don’t have as wide a range of motion.

MC like twists in their seat to look at Barbatos one day while at the Demon Castle and Diavolo panics inside and almost instinctually casts some healing magic - but MC seems fine? Oh! Interesting, he’d like to learn more.

Satan and MC go on a walk one day and by the end of the walk Satan is astounded at how much stamina humans have. His usual walk (one that tires him out reliably) didn’t have as much of an effect.

This would still happen if the MC needed mobility aids too, and might not happen with walking but would happen with other things. They might be able to work with their hands for longer or something similar.

If the MC is an athlete, I don’t think they would be able to outspeed anybody at all but I do think that them being able to outdistance people is a thing. Like they run with Beel one time and though Beel is way faster, after a few loops or after the route is finished  he’s unable to go any more, but the MC can still run. (I think out of the brothers, Levi and Beel have the most stamina, I also think Levi is the fastest swimmer, and Asmo is the most flexible)

One day Lucifer comes home to MC lying upside -down on the couch, their spine bent backwards, their head close to the ground, and their legs over the back - and he let out the most high pitched shriek MC had ever heard. They were just chilling, stretching a bit, really.

Belphegor loves how flexible MC is and how they’re built. It’s comfy and he can experience cuddles in new ways. Plus it’s fun to see the others freak out when the MC does things, though sometimes he’s…unnerved to say the least.

Asmo delights in watching how MC moves, and not just in a lustful way. He loves to watch you and notice little things about you.

Beel likes to move with you - walking, running, swimming, dancing, even handiwork, he likes to do it with you. Its a way for him to connect with you in a special way, doing physical activity together. (Not just sports and athletics but like, literally anything)

Satan is fascinated by new things, and wants to learn. This means, that he’s fascinated by and wants to learn about you! In any way possible. He thinks the way you move is super fascinating, doubly so because it’s you. He’ll ask you do do certain movements and tricks with your body in order to a) learn more about you (and humans in general, but mostly you) and b) see you move in fun ways. Additionally - this has some potential for the anti-Lucifer League

Levi is honestly in awe of how dexterous you are - even if the mc has limited mobility in their hands, you can still do some things with the buttons on the controller that he just cannot do. (Like, he can do normal videogaming motions, but he can’t do ones humans can that involve stretching their hands out, or curling their fingers to hit some buttons) It fills him with awe, and at first he’s full of envy, but then things change. He’ll watch you playing, and sometimes might ask for help if he’s having trouble with some maneuvers

Mammon straight up uses you as a distraction, but also  it backfires because it distracts him as well. RIP his schemes

Barbatos is thoroughly amused, both in the reactions of others and in the things you do to illicit those reactions,

A mark on your forehead identifies the god you must worship to stay alive, usually by joining its local church or temple. Your mark is unknown, meaning an old, forgotten god sponsored you. To survive, you must either find an old temple to worship at, or do the arduous task of building a new one

like. i need people to understand: in ichi the witch (which you should be reading, if you aren't already) magic is sentient.

it's been around in this sentient form as majiks for at least a thousand years, and in the story's present 402 out of 3185 known majiks are "acquired" by witches:

in the whole world only 402 are with witches. once acquired, they take the form of a jewel:

there are 35 majiks in this panel:

Desscareas single-handedly holds at least 8.72% of all majiks in the entire world.

"Everyone's Favorite Uber-Talented Badass" indeed