Professor Ford AU - Ratemyprofessor Reviews

Professor Ford AU - Ratemyprofessor reviews

PLEASE check out the original post by the genius @jellybeanjo and the insanely funny replies made by everyone. Genuinely one of the best gf posts ever made.

Reblogs by @jellybeanjo, @aroace-get-out-of-my-face, @coldbronzemoon and myself :D

Bill Cipher x Bounty Hunter!Reader Concept

Wherein Bill escaped the Theraprism, and Dimension #5150 sends their best bounty hunter after him. YOU!

But none of them ever expected you to fall in love with him.

The Theraprism was a place built to rehabilitate. But with the Great Axolotl's sudden disappearance, a lot of convicts used the opportunity to slip away and disappear. Among them, was the infamous Bill Cipher.

~~~

You pick up his book after finding the last human who read it. Your mind is hungry for information about him- the first ever convict to escape the Theraprism, a space outside of time, a place of redemption.

How evil and powerful do you have to be to escape such a place?

You convince yourself you're reading it to find out where he is. To know the scale of Bill Cipher's crimes. But deep down, you knew better than that.

It was helpful in tracking the triangle down, but also for entertainment.

"Slow days? Why don't you come on over for a drunk at O'Sadley's, my favorite pub in the entire Rock Bottom Asteroid Belt of the Vicious Spiral Nebula! Their "I'm Fine" juice is guaranteed to keep you coming back."

The book entertains you on a boring day.

"Ever think to yourself, mystery reader, what would happen if two warring planets collided in an epic, world-ending display? Ya ever pick up any romance novels? I'm a sucker for Enemies-to-Lovers fics, myself. So I made two planets kiss once, it was COOL! FIXED THEIR LITTLE WAR PROBLEMS TOO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

There was a lot of filler pages just filled with "AHAHAHA"s, you noticed.

The contents were indeed disturbing. At least, to a mortal or any normal person. You've seen worse in your line of work, really. But so far, all you saw were funny little stories of mischief and shocking antics. Nothing of a dimension or planet killer.

Perhaps, that was all that he wanted you to see.

"SAY PAL, I KNOW I ASKED YA LIKE A BAJILLION TIMES ALREADY... BUT D'YA WANNA MEET UP FOR A DRINK? I COULD USE A NEW DRINKING BUDDY AFTER THAT LAST ONE GREW A SPINE AND TRIED TO ZAP ME OUT OF EXISTENCE!"

The book spoke to you. Tried to befriend you. You knew deep down it was a ruse, that it was manipulating you. It even asked you to give it some of your blood, once. Ha! No one would ever fall for that. So you decided to take a break from it.

The next time you opened it, the words written there weren't so funny.

"Y'know, I wish I could see the look in your face while you're reading this", the book wrote, its ink fading into splotchy letter.

"Why are you stalling? What's taking so long? Can you really not find me, or is it that...."

A singular, giant eye flashed through the darkened pages of the book, startling you.

"...You're having fun reading my book? You're enjoying my stories, aren't you. Ya sick little freak! We're not so different, you and I."

"You're not as good and moral as you think you are, [REDACTED]."

Upon surrendering the book to the Wardens of the Theraprism, you were tasked with hunting Bill down.

You closed the book after that, heart hammering in your chest. You couldn't look at it for days.

~~~

Shaken yet determined to do your job, you set out after him. It needed to be done, the book was made of lies. The book was made to manipulate the reader.

You needed to do your job, before Bill destroys more lives. You needed to be a Warden, and bring him to justice.

You needed to go back to your monotonous, violent, and bleak life, where all you did was spill blood and-

You needed to find Bill.

He asked you time and time again to have a drink with him.

And you knew just the bar to find him in.

Psst, thanks for reading!

Pitching an idea into the void here. The reader isn't human, still fleshing out what she is. But she is an entity whose SOLE purpose is to be a bounty hunter and warden to the Theraprism.

Come on, Fordsy. It’s for charity 💕

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cipherstarling

2 months ago

Doodle page for my OC, Birch! Yet again I wrote a reader-insert fic that turned into an OC LMAO *wheezes*

They are a shapeshifter, but one of the plot points of my fic The Theraprist is that they make a Euclidean form for themselves 👀💜

Bill is LOCKED IN !!!

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cipherstarling

1 month ago

do you think he plays with his dolls 💜

also ignore how this is horrendous

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cipherstarling

1 month ago

i was inspired by how bill is written to change colors depending on his mood

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cipherstarling

1 month ago

Bill Cipher x Reader - Liar's Light [Chapter 1]

Tags: Fluff and Angst, Angst, Hurt/No comfort, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Short fic, Pre-Gravity Falls, Existential Crisis lol

You were destruction where he was creation. He was light where you were darkness.

You were two gods, powerful yet alone.

Time and space held no meaning here, in the Nightmare Realm.

This was all you've ever known. You were born in the void, existed within it, and slept within the confines of its emptiness.

Until one day, a bright yellow light entered your life.

He wasn't the first entity to wander into this abyss, but he was the first to greet you with no ill intent. He came one night, in a brilliant blue light, flames licking his frame as he entered into existence, here. A single, dark eye opened before you.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"The Nightmare realm, where all things end," you softly answered.

He tilted his head, his eye crinkling in curiosity, then delight.

"Well, that won't do!"

With a snap of his fingers, the darkness around you warped and shuddered. The darkness gave way to light, then, became filled with life.

Suddenly, the void was filled with stars, planets, moons, and suns. Oceans of them rippled through the sky in waves.

Since then, you stopped feeling so alone.

~~~

Concept: Where the reader is an ambiguous void-like, abyssal god who met Bill Cipher in the Nightmare realm. Pre-Gravity Falls timeline!

AAAA I'm so nervous, please be kind! I haven't written fics in years!

The silence was filled with the sounds of life. Illusions of places and things you've never seen before danced all around you. In no time, the void was filled with his jovial voice and your soft laughter.

Bill Cipher never ran out of things to say to fill the silence. Spinning tales and coaxing laughter out of you. He always had something new to share with you. He enjoyed the way you listened with rapt attention as he weaved tale after tale for both of your amusement.

Some days, he'll tell you of a world different than the one you were bound in. A dimension beyond your understanding, full of colors you've yet to see. Full of people who spoke languages you've never heard before. Planets that survive off only one moon, stars that grow and become planets. Worlds that endure despite having collapsing suns, darker nights, and billions of people.

Other days, he'd tell you of his home.

But those stories, they never stayed.

Those stories escaped you like sand through your fingers. Tragic as they were, your mind would fight to hold onto them. You never understood why, but they always fade as soon as Bill's voice would turn quiet and small. He'd look away and it would be as if the moment never happened.

Sadness didn't fit Bill's bright yellow colors, you thought. You'd spend the rest of eternity making sure he was happy if you had to!

It was your silent vow.

~~~~

Up above, the endless blanket of stars watched as you and Bill sat next to each other.

You held your breath as a golden glow washed across the barren rock around you. From underneath the earth, tendrils of black twirled upwards. They writhed each curling into a small, black bulb.

Bill always had an affinity for creation- or weirdness, as he called it.

Where he breathed life and curiosities into the nightmare realm, you were the abyss that hungrily consumed it all.

You watched with bated breath as the flowers around you swayed gently. Bill watched with an upturned eye as he theatrically flicked his wrist towards the field.

One by one, the bulbs unfurled, blooming into delicate black petals that glistened faintly with impossible colors. You smiled as the last one slowly opened before you.

"Go on, take it, it's yours!"

Yours.

The words echoed in your mind as you reached for a flower. It seemed to sigh and wilt slightly as you plucked it off the ground.

With care, you brushed the pads of your fingers over its petals. It was unlike anything you've seen before.

However, it soon crumbled and turned into ash the moment you touched its stem.

You pulled your hand back as the ash fell through your fingers. Bill plucked another flower from the ground and held it out to you, his single eye crinkled in amusement. He held it close to your face for you to admire.

Something in you melted at the gesture.

Bill brought so much more than life to the Nightmare realm. With him came warmth and laughter.

He told you of impossible futures, dreams, and nightmares beyond the veil of the world you two were in. You shared in his dream of breaching that veil and existing where there was natural light and more people.

He loved to shower you with gifts like this. You happily accepted all of it, cherishing these tiny gestures from a friend.

Like clockwork, you two would meet in this barren little rock you found in the Nightmare realm. Sharing stories and secrets. Mapping out unnamed constellations and writing your name in the stars- sometimes literally!

Bill moved heaven and earth for you, and you reveled in this. Your heart fluttered every time he used his all-seeing eye to describe beautiful places for you. You memorized the way his black hands would cradle stars and move them in the shape of your name in the sky.

You wouldn't trade this for the world, being beside your best friend in a lonely, unforgiving dimension. A part of you hoped Bill felt the same warmth in your chest you felt when he was around.

You didn't realize you would have to give it all up someday.

You'd look back and realize that this was the last gesture of kindness Bill Cipher would show you for a very, very long time.

He disappeared on day, taking all the light with him.

Time mercilessly passed in cold, breathless, silence.

Until one day, he came back.

No longer the same friend you knew before.

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