He’s So Fun To Draw, Especially While I’m At Work.

I ACCEPT ANY AND EVERY HUMAN UNDER CIPHERTOLOGY BY THE WAY IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING

I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR GENDER, SEXUALITY, RACE, AGE, RELATIONSHIPS, OPINIONS, ANYTHING! AT THE END OF THE DAY YOU’LL ALL TASTE THE SAME

Hoo boy, all the typos I gotta fix

Bill Cipher x Bounty Hunter!Reader Concept

Wherein Bill escaped the Theraprism, and Dimension #5150 sends their best bounty hunter after him. YOU!

But none of them ever expected you to fall in love with him.

The Theraprism was a place built to rehabilitate. But with the Great Axolotl's sudden disappearance, a lot of convicts used the opportunity to slip away and disappear. Among them, was the infamous Bill Cipher.

~~~

You pick up his book after finding the last human who read it. Your mind is hungry for information about him- the first ever convict to escape the Theraprism, a space outside of time, a place of redemption.

How evil and powerful do you have to be to escape such a place?

You convince yourself you're reading it to find out where he is. To know the scale of Bill Cipher's crimes. But deep down, you knew better than that.

It was helpful in tracking the triangle down, but also for entertainment.

"Slow days? Why don't you come on over for a drunk at O'Sadley's, my favorite pub in the entire Rock Bottom Asteroid Belt of the Vicious Spiral Nebula! Their "I'm Fine" juice is guaranteed to keep you coming back."

The book entertains you on a boring day.

"Ever think to yourself, mystery reader, what would happen if two warring planets collided in an epic, world-ending display? Ya ever pick up any romance novels? I'm a sucker for Enemies-to-Lovers fics, myself. So I made two planets kiss once, it was COOL! FIXED THEIR LITTLE WAR PROBLEMS TOO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

There was a lot of filler pages just filled with "AHAHAHA"s, you noticed.

The contents were indeed disturbing. At least, to a mortal or any normal person. You've seen worse in your line of work, really. But so far, all you saw were funny little stories of mischief and shocking antics. Nothing of a dimension or planet killer.

Perhaps, that was all that he wanted you to see.

"SAY PAL, I KNOW I ASKED YA LIKE A BAJILLION TIMES ALREADY... BUT D'YA WANNA MEET UP FOR A DRINK? I COULD USE A NEW DRINKING BUDDY AFTER THAT LAST ONE GREW A SPINE AND TRIED TO ZAP ME OUT OF EXISTENCE!"

The book spoke to you. Tried to befriend you. You knew deep down it was a ruse, that it was manipulating you. It even asked you to give it some of your blood, once. Ha! No one would ever fall for that. So you decided to take a break from it.

The next time you opened it, the words written there weren't so funny.

"Y'know, I wish I could see the look in your face while you're reading this", the book wrote, its ink fading into splotchy letter.

"Why are you stalling? What's taking so long? Can you really not find me, or is it that...."

A singular, giant eye flashed through the darkened pages of the book, startling you.

"...You're having fun reading my book? You're enjoying my stories, aren't you. Ya sick little freak! We're not so different, you and I."

"You're not as good and moral as you think you are, [REDACTED]."

Upon surrendering the book to the Wardens of the Theraprism, you were tasked with hunting Bill down.

You closed the book after that, heart hammering in your chest. You couldn't look at it for days.

~~~

Shaken yet determined to do your job, you set out after him. It needed to be done, the book was made of lies. The book was made to manipulate the reader.

You needed to do your job, before Bill destroys more lives. You needed to be a Warden, and bring him to justice.

You needed to go back to your monotonous, violent, and bleak life, where all you did was spill blood and-

You needed to find Bill.

He asked you time and time again to have a drink with him.

And you knew just the bar to find him in.

Psst, thanks for reading!

Pitching an idea into the void here. The reader isn't human, still fleshing out what she is. But she is an entity whose SOLE purpose is to be a bounty hunter and warden to the Theraprism.

Hc that Ford gets a job at a local community college as a physics prof after he and Stan are done sailing around the world and fulfills his destiny as the eccentric professor he was always meant to be

And he quickly gains a reputation amongst the stem students as That Professor

I bet his ratemyprof reviews would be insane:

“He didn’t grade any of our homework until the end of the semester, but he brought something called a ‘plaidypus’ to class and let us pet it. Her name was Dorothy. 5/5”

“He constantly ranted about how ‘triangles are the most untrustworthy shape’ whatever that means. Also he doesn’t know how to use the internet. I hated his class. 5/5”

And many more iterations of “this guy is terrible. 5 stars”

"I have missed you"

I got this idea at 3am.

No, I won't elaborate further

I think Bill would wear this unprompted

oh absolutely

something stupid

a/n: well, I thought about it a bit and I think I'll try to write my ideas for bill cipher x reader, I love him so much, I can't wait to get his book ^^ (sorry if my english is wrong, it's not my native language, and I'm terrible at handwriting too)

warning: bill is the trigger itself, cringe, a little g0re, stalker

summary: bill can't say the words "I love you", so how does he show his love?

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to hand you a bouquet made of guts, you don't know if they're made of human guts or... anyway, it definitely doesn't matter what they're made of, right?

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to sing karaoke with you while you are both completely drunk.

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to say stupid and some even silly pick-up lines, like:

“Do you come here often? what a coincidence, me too! Did you know that?" you two are in your house.

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to ask how your day was, even though he already knows what it was like because he’s been stalking you all day. You can't blame him for enjoying hearing your voice!

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to own rats and use them to spell your name on the door of his house, it’s cute in a way, but it’s extremely stressful to get all those dead rats out and he knows it.

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to watch you sleep at dawn, he listens to your breathing and the beautiful beating of your heart, but don’t worry! He doesn’t do anything to you while you sleep… every now and then you wake up with a pen scratch on your face, lucky for you that pens aren’t permanent.

— Bill hates saying the words “I love you”, instead he prefers to spoil you and at the same time be spoiled (most of the time he prefers to be spoiled), this triangle is pure need juice, he is just a pre-teen.

— Bill hates saying the words "I love you", it's a stupid and idiotic phrase that humans invented, but sometimes he can't help but feel the urge to say something stupid like: I love you.

a/n: yes i made this based on the song "something stupid" let me be a stupid cringe

So here I am, finally putting my human!Bill Cipher headcanon in digital ink an entire 11 years after coming up with it >wheeze<

I call him SHADES CIPHER cause he's one of those dudes that just wears sunglasses all the time no matter where he is. He's got one funky yellow eye so it makes sense to cover it usually 8)

I am a triangle!Bill truther but I couldn't resist finally drawing my silly little goblin human Bill hehehe

THANK YOU FIR WRITING THE THERAPRIST

It's one of the most beautifully written, well-paced, and entertaining fics I've read out here.

I got a question for you, how do you feel about AUs of your fic? Are you comfortable with people writing fics from that standpoint? Apologies if this has been asked before!

Please take care and know we readers adore you and your talent!!! I love your little doodles!!!

HELLO YES

(firstly thank you for the kind words) and so basically. Yes we have an AU collection on AO3 please please please feel free to submit things!! YOU CAN FIND IT HEEEERE: THE THERAPRIST AU COLLECTIVE Also you can find the original event post right HERE: bling blong

It's a little bit silly because basically it's tumbleweed city over there. I'm not very good at hosting / promoting events because I'm incredibly awkward and dumb and so it just sort of dissolved away to dust and nobody really noticed it (although like I say we did have one really awesome contribution on AO3!) It's open-ended and open to anyone who wants to join in so please do if you feel so inclined! okay now back to wallowing in my own embarrassment at existing

#ще й і іграшка-обіймашка для сну!! (@kawoid) так!!