Clayshell - Hehe

Beacrox is smiling so much more now:

Always thought of the idea that Cale, despite being oblivious to everything else, is actually extremely aware of his surroundings all the time.

And maybe this was discovered by the kids when they found out that he wouldn't get jump-scared no matter what they did (he tried to act scared for them but his stoic face couldn't quite convince anyone).

And everyone around him thinking how it must be some sort of trauma response to staying in the front lines of every battle ever.

(They aren't exactly wrong about the trauma part)

A subconscious habit developed as Kim Rok Soo, just another means to live another day.

But now, he lets himself space out for longer durations. Not observing his surroundings like a hawk and just, well, breathing.

And when he does blank out, he ends up flinching at almost every sound ever.

And that led to the belief that their vigilant Commander carries such a burden on his shoulders that he sometimes doesn't even notice his own family walking upto him (who are mostly trained individuals, or a traumatised high schooler, or two kittens–who all had to learn to walk stealthily just to survive, much like he once did).

Ironically, he always gets scared whenever Ron enters, even more so when he's already aware of the butler's presence.

The old man sometimes deliberately makes no noise when entering, just to see Cale flinching so hard and then acting nonchalant afterwards.

But Cale doesn't dislike it. Simply blanking out amidst this comforting safety that he had always wished for. With his family always beside him.

Of course ron cares for og!cale and the current cale, and cale cares for ron because that just who he is, but rereading while having @azroazizah 's 'cale is a depressed bastard' post I kind of been taking a deep dive on angst and questioning all of cale's throwaway comments, like on the earlier chapters when he was so convinced that

"They will definitely forget about [him]" (212)

yes it makes for great misunderstandings (which I live for), but at the same time I can't but think that he really does believe those kind of statements, and that his actions betray a certain self abandonment that aligns well with her theory

so we kind of know that ron cares for cale and cale cares for ron, but did cale think that he cares for him beyond just a servant-young master relationship, at least at the beginning, even though he read about og!ron's moment's abandonment of og!cale, knowing that he is not even the same person ron cared for like a decade.. erm

I think the lemonade can be another misunderstanding plot too, thinking on cale's maybe real fear of the /power/ of the people around him (not /of/ them specifically, just the fact that they're wayy stronger than he is in general) and not great perception of his personal value to the people around him

it's not far off to say that he really rather not drink that lemonade, but as with most things he does, he feels as though he has to

A new understanding of cale’s character

cale henituse is a depressed bastard (we kind of been knew) am currently rereading the novel, so this time I noticed a tea symbolism, where the after the first time ron gave cale lemon tea and he drank it life's kind been giving cale lemons ever since. so of course it got me thinking more about the relationship between cale and ron and find that it would be interesting to study.

what kim rok soo observed of the relationship between og!cale and him was that ron didn’t have any particular like for cale, so could he as cale also operate under that or..?

Cale and big moves🎵🎶

I don't know if it was said before but let me say it anyway gang. everything that Cale trys to do becomes a bigger thing like

if you told him to poke a hole in the wall he'd end up taking the entire thing down

all his moves end up becoming bigger because he makes structural changes🎵 digs into the foundation of systems and uproots that entire thing 🎶 just because he doesn't like it and isn't willing to work surround by it, that's also kind of the reason that his dream is being a slacker and his action are the kind that would never let him achieve it. He really only wants to become a slacker with a world order that he finds acceptable🎶🎶 that's why he didn't want to get tangled up into the world of BoaH, because he knows himself, his strict bottom lines and stubbornness to achieve his goals. in this essay i will-

i wonder if cale has "useless" information about farming in his mind that pops up from time to time.

I mean, the Soos were thinking about farming while retired, right? I know that CJS said it was "all just talk", but since KRS at that time knew about this, I think that he might have read at least a little about farming. After all, he is the type of person who likes have information beforehand AND he had Record. It would have just take him a couple of minutes. Then team 1 died and all the information became useless.

But we also know that he was saving for a farm before he transmigrated. So, he kept recollecting some information even though he might not have retired (and needed it) until he was much older.

I mean, he is not a expert, but knows more than the average person about the topic.

yes unrequited love calberu but also hero x prince choiberu

Reading tcf again and I had a realization that blew me out of the water.

Not only is it an unreliable narrator story, the narrator simply... Does not spell things out. You have to pick things up from context clues and body language, like this is some kind of game. It's crazy.

Like, here's some stuff that's NEVER EXPLAINED (in the parts I read, which was up to chap 600~)

Cale's trigger is whenever any child is in danger or hurt. His behavior immediately changes, even if he doesn't acknowledge it to us. It's especially obvious when he finds the crown for the first time.

Cale's gets self destructive when he's stressed. If he starts being weirdly self sacrificial or vindictive? He's stressed out of his MIND.

He's extremely petty about anyone who looks down on him. He convinces himself he's not, but it takes *ages* for him to forgive that kind of slight. And in some cases, it's enough to damn a person for good.

He actually has very obvious emotional tells that other characters have picked up on + they have already realized the points above and act accordingly when they see them.

Like, seriously. I thought I understood the subtleties of the story, but it took until now to see these traits. I was always kinda confused why he acted the way he did.

I want him to talk to his 7 year old self so badly

----

Kid!krs: why is he so mean to me

Krs: *sighs with a bittersweet expression*

Kid!krs: *tearing up* why can't he like me like mom and dad did???

Krs: it's not your fault, he was a terrible person.

Kid!krs: *sobbing atp* what if he's right about me

Krs: absolutely not, don't believe anything that scumbag says. He ruined his own life and is now poisoning yours, don't let him. You will be safe soon, I'm sure.

Kid!krs: *nods and wipes his tears and snot on cales shirt while he's embracing him*

--

Choi han, who saw all of this: ...why do you call yourself trash if you know you're not supposed to believe that piece of shit?

Krs: I never believed him, me being trash was because of my own failures. It has nothing to do with him.

Choi han: please stop doing that

Krs: doing what.

Choi han: you've never failed anybody, that sort of thing has always happened in situations outside of your control! Please open your eyes for one fucking sec-

Krs: i know

Choi han: then why-

Krs: because i failed myself, that little kid spends the rest of his life mourning his dignity because I didn't have the will to confront that piece of shit. And when i did, it was too late.

Fire 🔥

HYJ: *Looks SHJ up and down* You look like daddy material. SHJ: A sugar daddy? 😏 HYJ: *Collecting children like Pokémon* What? 🤨