“It’s Literally Impossible To Be A Woman.

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

More Posts from Clownmousesposts and Others

1 year ago

I'm curious, in the Yandere house how long would it take for each skeleton to turn obsessive of the MC? And what traits would draw them in? Alsooo- Would it be ok to write you a mini short story about this situation? 🙈 Thank you and take care!

13: THIS is what the skeletons like most about there s/o which fits to what drew them in. You can absolutely write a short story, please share it with me I would love to read it

Sans -It takes a while and a lot of research for him to be interested in someone. He doesn’t enjoy paranoia in a person but he does enjoy integrity and a sense of justice purely because they are entertaining to him, especially when their morals are put under a microscope.

Papyrus -It’s pretty much instant and he can basically be obsessed with any trait. He doesn’t have a preference and is surprisingly flexible with most personality types. If you ask him he does answer that he likes honest people and this is true but not a necessity for him to obsess over you.

Red -He’s curious about them but it takes a while for that to actually develop into an obsession. He likes a bit of fear behind his obsessive eyes so prefers them to not be too brave and actually likes people with a lot of patiences and who won’t complain. He is also drawn to kindness as a trait although he doesn’t know this himself.

Edge -It's fifty-fifty about whether his obsession is instant or not and really depends on the situation and timing. He actually really likes curiosity as a trait in people because answering their questions makes him feel superior. He also appreciates someone with a bit of grit but it’s not a necessity.

Blue -It is instant, from the moment he sees his obsession he is in love with them although that obviously could change later depending on if he likes their personality or not. The trait he likes the most is kindness. Just straight up kindness the more unwavering the better.

Orange -It takes him a hot second to fall for anyone, like maybe months not that anyone would really be able to tell whenever he does develop feelings for someone. It’s pretty contradictory but he likes people who are both oddly smart and also incredible stupid, take that however you want.

Berry -It’s instant but he doesn’t really know what is going on so he is very clingy and very confused as he tries to work through these new feelings. Trait wise is anything that could be perceived and dominating whether this is actually something else like bravery or straight up cruelty or just demanding if it lets you stand up to Berry he’s into it

Syrup -It usually takes a while. When he first sees them there may be a twinge of something but it often needs time to develop into something deeper. He actually has this feeling with a lot of people, it just usually doesn’t go anywhere. He is most attracted to unpredictable and spontaneous personalities as they give him a challenge and something unexpected.

1 year ago

You See, I’m not Really From Here..

Request: reader falls into the DC universe and runs into the yan batboys +Bruce (separate). Reader tries to avoid being found but fails. Later on, reader and them fall in love and is about to get married. Reader finds out about there tendencies and made manages to escape back to the real world. Unknown to then she was carrying their child. 5years later they return to bring them back to the DC universe.

Ok so I’m going to put a small little story that would lead you up to meeting them and so a on. Anyways here you go!

(Yan batboys+Bruce (separate) x reader)

You had no idea what was happening. All you knew was that you came home form work or school (if so college) and just wanted to get some rest. And just as you planned on laying down you found yourself… Falling. How you didn’t know but like any other person would. You started to scream.

And then there was this opening looking down you saw as if you had teleported? To some place but screamed more as you that the ground was coming closer. Just as you thought your life was going to end you felt someone latch onto you and then being placed done on solid grounds.

Peaking, you looked and saw that you didn’t fall to your death, horray! But now the next thing to worry about… Where were you?

“What were you trying to do, kill yourself? You’re lucky that I was around and egrabbed you before you fell. ”

Hearing an unknown voice, you spun yourself around and saw… What the-

“Uh… What’s going on here? This is a joke, right? If it is, it’s not funny.” you questioned the unknown somewhat familiar figure in front of you.

“What? -”

“And what’s with the whole costume thing. You trying to cosplay as ______ ( vigilante name) or something? Cause let me tell you, it looks really cool. ”

“Ma'am what are you talking about-”

“Oh come on you know! _____ real name ____? ”

After saying their name, they through you on to the ground a hand covering your mouth. “HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME! ” They growled looking around to see if this was some sort of trap.

“Get-get off me! ” swiping your hand at them, your hand glew a blue color and they flew back. Shocked you looked at you hand scared and confused and looked back towards the masked male. Seeing them groaning you panicked and took off. Hearing their shouts you just kept running. What was going on?

That was weeks ago. You found out that you somehow managed to get teleported into the DC universe and into Gotham City. Finding out you had a full on panic mode. Mostly having no idea how to return home or what you were going to do now. But luckily you had somehow managed to get a job (and got into a college in Gotham for the two younger ones) and found a place. You did a lot of research over your free time trying to find away to get back and what you were going to do with this new power you gained as well.

But one thing that’s stood in your head was

‘Holy shit- I really just meet ____! ’

Keep reading

1 year ago
The Last Holiday Together.

The last holiday together.

1 year ago

oooooo, I’ve never read that fic of yours that you just posted a link to. soooo good! now I’m thinking about the brothers flipping off michael (literally and figuratively) in a letter/picture back to him and michael just sat there pouting like a child being told ‘no’ for the first time.

*mwah* you’re the best

Continuation of this, Michael design borrowed from @stulili 

tw: swearing, poly MC

-

"Okay~ Everyone's in!" Asmo positioned his phone and set the timer for the photo.

"Oi, middle fingers up!" Mammon elbowed Belphie.

"They're up!" He groggily responded as Asmo rushed to lay in front of the group and add his own middle fingers to the mix.

"Say, Fuck you, Michael." Lucifer said as the timer clicked.

"Fuck you, Michael!" The group resounded. After the click, Asmo rushed back over to the phone to catch the polaroid it spit out.

"MC, did you write the letter yet?" Beel hovered near you.

"Not yet. Any ideas?" You moved to a nearby table and the brothers all crowded around you.

"Tell him to fuck himself." Belphie mumbled.

"He's a rat bastard and we hate 'im!" Mammon chimed in.

"Oh, let's send him a copy of: I Never Wanted To Go To Heaven Anyway So God Really Just Needs To Fuck Off." Levi pulled the manga out of nowhere.

"Don’t forget to decline the offer.” Satan tapped at the page. 

“Calm down, I’ll get there...” You began to write on the page.

Michael,

While I appreciate the offer, I have to decline. Perhaps your invitation would have seemed more sincere had you given it to me in person. On behalf of my boyfriends, seven brothers I think you’re quite familiar with, fuck you.

I have everything I could ever want here in the Devildom. Give my regards to Simeon and Luke, I hope they visit soon.

MC

Michael’s face while reading:

Oooooo, I’ve Never Read That Fic Of Yours That You Just Posted A Link To. Soooo Good! Now I’m Thinking
1 year ago

Chubby Baker Witch S/O

@chibithewitch Here's your request, sweetheart!

Sun Wukong 

He thinks you’re the most adorable thing on this planet. He loves literally everything you do. Your food, your body, your magic, all perfect. You’re perfect and he will not shut up about it. It’s a little embarrassing. 

Do not let him help you bake though. He will probably set something on fire or use salt instead of sugar or something like that. My man can’t cook for shit. 

You have to watch him because he will steal snacks as you’re making them especially if it has peaches in it. 

He’s seen a lot of magic but yours amazes him just like the rest of you. 

Macaque 

One of his love languages is acts of service so he appreciates literally everything you do, magic or not. The magic just makes it easier for you. Also uses his shadow magic to help you where he can.

 He can cook but hasn’t tried much baking so he tends to make meals for you two when he gets the time instead of helping you in the bakery. He knows he protects you but he still feels like he doesn’t help out as much as he should plus he’s just a sucker for domestic stuff.

Also steals snacks when you’re not looking as long as it’s not for work. 

You get up early to open the bakery and he’s not usually up till midday but he helps you close out. Tends to hum you to sleep when you’re tired. 

Azure Lion

This man is so soft for you, it’s not even funny. He just thinks you’re the most precious thing in the world. He gets up early with you to help you open up shop. 

He’s pretty used to magic around him so your magic doesn’t faze him much. Can reach the tall shelves for you. 

Is the only one out of these three that never eats anything that you don't expressly give him. Very willing to help you test new recipes with you. He will purr if he really likes it then gets embarrassed about purring. 

You weigh like literally nothing to any of these three but Azure Lion is the most likely to carry you around without laughing or teasing you.

1 year ago

This is still one of the greatest things ever made.

1 year ago
Nerd Uncle Acquired(?)
Nerd Uncle Acquired(?)
Nerd Uncle Acquired(?)
Nerd Uncle Acquired(?)

Nerd uncle acquired(?)

1 year ago
They Would Have Been Besties And She Would Have Slayed In This Scene 😌💕
They Would Have Been Besties And She Would Have Slayed In This Scene 😌💕
They Would Have Been Besties And She Would Have Slayed In This Scene 😌💕

they would have been besties and she would have slayed in this scene 😌💕

Instagram | Twitter | Etsy | Shop | Ko-fi

1 year ago

ㅤdorm leaders being savages

ㅤdorm Leaders Being Savages
ㅤdorm Leaders Being Savages

summary. basically some backstabber mf tries to 'steal' him and... this is where the savage part starts

featuring. dorm leaders

content. bad friend, gender neutral reader, brutal rejection 😭

note. a full post after a while :')

ㅤdorm Leaders Being Savages

malleus

I mean it's not like he would notice anyways, again. I firmly believe human and fae courting traditions are vastly different and c'mon... he doesn't even know what the fuck flirting is do you really think he'd get their intentions. 💀

when they start to slide up an arm in places he's quite bothered about, (cause guy is so whipped that he won't let anyone but him touch you.) he isn't even happy that someone is near his proximity anymore, not scared and whatnot.

just he no likey.

AND HES NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE ROMANTIC HE JUST SHRUGS THEM OFF EVERYTIME. he's just a genuine innocent lil' dude who wants his lover to come and save him from this touchy, weird, human.

no child of man cause that's your name ‼️

while he may not get it, he's got a feeling, sixth sense of sorts and when he sees it he's backing tf up away. he's not gonna entertain the doubts.

also he still doesn't get it in the end lmaoooo, he's avoiding all their advances thinking it's a part of human... culture? that he wasn't made aware of.

if they start putting in the forbidden words in the same sentence as your name you know shits going down, suddenly he's not that confused, oblivious, cute guy that they saw but a much colder shell.

when his eyes darken, and it starts storming they'd had better run, he's been kind enough to stay even with their relentless annoying behavior but that is where he crosses the line fr.

don't even be surprised when they get hit by lightning and end up in the infirmary or something, malleus didn't even say anything to them cause he believes actions speaks louder than words... *sends touchy, weird human to the nurse.* see?

someone insults him: ?

someone insults you: 😠😡🤬👿🌩⚡

just goes: "your friend is very unpleasant, I'd appreciate it if you refrain from spending time with them."

something unsaid; spend all of that time with me duhhh

idia

you know what I'm surprised someone actually likes him tbh 😭 except us because we're all built different and we love disgustang discord mod behavior.

you know what's even more surprising? the fact that idia is actually seen by your friend group. I swear he comes out of his room like once a day and that's just because he's craving something else that isn't in his food stock and he's just gonna rob whose mac n' cheese was in the microwave.

and that's literally in his DORM ONLY.

he's like a vampire and allergic to sunlight, he's more willing to come out in the middle of the night because that's when the least 'normies' are scattered around like flies.

(if that counts for anything at all??)

but hanging out is more fun and if you somehow managed to convince idia to come with you with your friends for some well needed, 'socializing' then you're in luck!

besides that you had to bet one of your items in that open world game you played together... all is good!

im like 99% sure idia is disgusted by any other touch from other people, besides you? cause if you touch him he's just embarrassed... but in terms of the disgusted faction, you've been there before.

he immediately spots their intentions cause he definitely plays otome games and this is one of them cliche scenarios to 'spice up' the plot by invoking jealousy in it.

only difference is its him, you and this... random.

if they weren't already offended by the absolute mortification and disgust on his face, somehow continuing to 'rizz' him up.. oh boy. it's gonna get worse.

he's got the worst fucking 3rd grade insults like... "back away from me you noob, are you supposed to be their friend?" he scoffs, surprising them cause they thought he was gonna be that red flag discord romance experience.

"sorry but im not really sorry. i don't associate myself with lower levels such as yourself, try to come back when you're higher but I doubt they'd accept a fiend back."

LIKE WHO USES NOOB AS AN INSULT?

when you come back he's steering you away, pulling on the hem of your sleeves practically begging to come home with the promise of 'grinding that outrageous drop rate item you've asked his help with.'

something unsaid; doxxing them as soon as I get back

vil

ok this one I get.

who wouldn't want vil... it's not like I've made the entirety of the fandom known about my obsession with him as my favorite character or anything, not at all... jokes aside he's a very prominent candidate, he's hot and rich. you get it?

forget about the other qualities because we all known those two can carry someone in life alone, life in luxury and fame? sign them up ASAP.

besides your boyfriend being one of the superstar actors, models, the dream jobs for a dream man even your friends had a hard time believing you. you should be offended that they even considered that you were clinically.. delusional.

plus you didn't even seem to know about vil before so how are you dating him?!

they found out the hard way and safe to say they're flabbergasted because what even?

of course out of everyone here, vil has the most experience in terms of being approached on a baseless appearance only, he's iffed by how fast people get infatuated when they're barely scratching the surface of him.

well, you somehow dug your way deep with a shovel so you're the only exception he will allow...

at this point he knows what to expect the moment one of your friends gave him a look he's all the well too accustomed to. it's easy to ignore the ones he sees in crowds cause there's always some type of fence blocking them from fully proclaiming their love or something.

problem here is that this person has no obstacles and he can tell they're waiting for an opportunity to strike like a snake. *texts the pomefiore gc to tell them about this SNAKE!*

honey this is a big NO for him, you need to consider your circle of friends if one of them immediately starts folding around like this and wastes what? a longer friendship with you? please, he's known his stylists more and they literally get replaced every single day.

he's giving them the biggest, sassiest side eye ever. putting a palm up before they even get to speak because frankly, he does not want to hear it.

they open their knarly mouth. "i—"

he raises a finger. "no."

a frown. "but i—"

"shush."

he can do this forever.

when you come back he's still giving a bombastic, criminal offensive side eye, mentally thinking on how to ruin this person's life in media of course! his natural domain. just one word and the rest of his army will attack fr.

vil usually doesn't do this but seriously? that was another level of low.

also he's just by your side, you don't even have to say that he's your boyfriend because he's lowkey rubbing it in their face that he is in fact, taken.

"next time you try to see me again, might as well buy one of the tickets to my fan signings because you’re not seeing me again otherwise.. well, not like you can afford it anyways." *fabulous hair flip*

something unsaid; either way I'll kick you out if you try to get in

kalim

most safest person to flirt with, even if you're friends with their lover but also the most impossible to actually try and 'steal.'

the thing about kalim is that he's adorably stupid, not to degrade him in any shape or form but he's so oblivious about everything that you could consider it as one of his redeemable traits to be adorable.

he takes everything you say so seriously to the point where if you joke about wanting to water an entire continent he's just there with his carpet waiting for you cause he's gonna do exactly that.

"you're in luck cause I have a lot of water in me!" pops his non existent guns on his arms. (he is talking about his unique magic..)

it takes a remarkable mind to be like... that but you like him all the well about it, compliment his stupid-ness and he'll just grin, flush a little and laugh loudly as he compliments you back. not an ounce of anger in his tiny body.

red eyes but what a bright heart!

the type of guy that goes. "any friend of yours is a friend of mine!" so when he meets your friend group, casually just throws them a grand ball. they don't know whether to be flattered or.. concerned cause this is pretty weird.

not only was one of your friends awed over the mere value of many things inside the dorm he renovated, apparently his very huge bank full of gold was something to gasp over too.

and that's exactly what they did. (I mean get that bag sis but that bag is already owned by someone else and that's you... so that's not slay of you, random friend.)

here's when his nature proves to be quite relenting, even after many flirting, even using those cringe pickup lines from the internet, he just won't budge! it's getting irritating cause they're sure the people already heard the embarrassing words coming out of their mouth.

also that they were flirting with a non-legally married man. (to you ofc ofc.)

kalim either laughs at them because he thinks they were jokes, and just funny or laughs just because he's kalim.

he didn't really mind the casual touches at first, maybe it was friendly? he does it all the time after all but there was a stinking feeling that it felt weird and that alone was weird cause friendly pats were supposed to feel good.

not with you though cause those feel great!

accidentally shuts them down cause they're feeling like a third wheel when you come back after a bathroom break and it's like a total contrast to how he was treating them.

how do you seriously not notice kalim now unintentionally flirting with you?! are both of you airheads?!

he was literally all over you when you quipped up a "hi, I'm back."

and he was like; "welcome back :DDDD!!!!" if it wasn't already obvious they'd even add floating hearts emojis all over his head.

something unsaid; girl he didn't even notice anything was up...

azul

kinda a 50/50?

I'm not sure if most people really dig the whole 'bad reputation' thing. he's friends with the most terrifying twins in the entire campus, notably scammed a lot of people, can give wishes with an extreme price.

oh yeah he runs monstro lounge too but that just means he won't have time to spend with a lover.

that's their own imagination but azul's actually very sweet and gets some overworked junior to do the work for him, usually jade since floyd just leaves if he's given the job. JUST so he can go fret over which tie to use for your unofficial date.

despite him annoyed and losing sleep 24/7 because of the tweels he still asks them which one to use, jade's opinion is most trustworthy since floyd picks the neon, vibrant ones. (don't question why he even owns it.)

I doubt he actually likes people though, anyone else than you? hard pass. he's a simp through and through but unlike idia who can't mask the mortification and disgust on his face even at the cost of his life, good thing that masks are one of the many things azul is good at.

he slips up sometimes cause he genuinely thinks it's embarrassing that they're doing whatever this is to him, (well more of an attempt?) and to you, who is also their friend and his lover.

slip up as in his eye twitches, he flinches away a little too fast when they touch him, and his smile wobbles.

I mean no one would notice if he uses his magic on one, singular person...

mentally makes a note to remember whoever this was cause they're not stepping foot in octavinelle ever again.

+ an object of fun for the tweels. #gotormentthatlife!!

he's just a polite guy, so he won't just straight up insult them but he does warn them. the only thing holding him back from cooking a whole table is the crowd that would definitely spread the news of him going batshit.

like; "could you please, stop this? I hope you're not as stupid as you make yourself out to be because if you think I'm an idiot to not know what you're doing.. "

meanwhile his mind; "ugh this bitch. [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]."

I mean he's not that intimidating ALONE but when he gets all threatening like that (🥰) he could pass for an assassin fr.

just gets the tweels to deal with them cause he does not have the patience to deal with this backstabbing ho and it's wasting his precious time that should have been spent talking with you.

ugh he did not spend like 30 whole minutes picking out his tie and gloves just for this.

azul when he sees you coming back: 😇

something unsaid; [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted].

leona

oh boy, cover your eyes cause we're stepping onto another level of SAVAGE. you don't call lions that for NOTHING ‼️ beastman or just beast.

has the least filter out of everyone, as in he just doesn't give a single fuck, he's the chillest (agressive) guy on the twst planet so if the thought of wanting to insult some stranger that doesn't have a significance in his life at all pops up in his mind he ain't gonna change it lol.

gives the stinkiest eyes, even his tail and ears pause to synchronize with his thoughts cause if they had googly eyes they'd have a side eye too.

if he's laying down and they try pulling him upwards, tryna latch onto him? *just shoves them cutely.* problem solved.

leona's nice enough to let them off without losing something cause you really do mean something to him if he's holding back for your expense knowing that this is one of your 'friends.'

they don't even deserve to be called that!

like no one interrupts his peaceful nap times except for when he stands up to interrupt it himself just to drag you down with him.

wait so basically anyone but him???

he, really doesn't want to waste energy on this fool and to be honest they're really boring him since you went out to grab something you forgot. (but knowing this person for less than an hour in his life, they probably had something to do with that too.) so you aren't here to give him a reason to stay awake.

them rambling but in leona's eyes they're a blurry figure cause he's really sleepy.

then suddenly he's an iphone promax when he's looking at you 💀

if they already didn't take a hint from his earlier shove, the dirt isn't the only thing he's gonna shove someone into. there's a lake there for a reason other than keeping a home for the fishes y'know. never would know if they eat people too. /j

"would you shut up?"

yeah that's all he says but we all know how sharp it is to hear that from somebody so they immediately shut up. there's absolutely no need for any waste on energy of them, just one look from him and they're SILENT.

hopefully embarrassed too cause wtf was that??

unfortunately he can't fully enjoy his usually relaxing nap cause this random is corrupting the atmosphere even when they're silent, I swear they could shift and leona feels like one step closer to smacking 'it.'

ignored them every single time they tried to call out to him LOUDLY before but when you just silently step back on the field, he already peeks out an eye??? like no words needed.

what love does to a mf... sighs... another cold male lead we've lost to romance because of our mc <4

something unsaid; I was really questioning if keeping myself from strangling someone was worth it. took more effort than doing it literally

riddle

I'd have a crush on him too tbh.

unlike azul who already knew their intentions from the start, polite enough to kindly drop signs that he's not interested. riddle doesn't get it, he's just polite as well but also confused?

like he doesn't know they're tryna flirt, but he does think their actions are strange like c'mon. why are they trying to feel him up? he has no idea except the thought that he doesn't like it at all.

also it feels like he's betraying you so he just straight up pulls their arm away off of him firmly and shakes his head.

"stop this behavior."

he sighs.

surprisingly he's patient but also impatient???

consider this the first and last warning cause he WILL excuse himself if it ever goes on, riddle can wait for you browse through a whole store with him following you around and playfully commenting on your taste but can't wait for their attitude to get better.

he ain't gonna waste any more of his precious minutes on this period.

I don't know how to explain it, he's totally unaware of what they want, which is him ironically. but the reason he's rejecting their advances is because he's so devoted and a simp for you.

not a lot of people have the balls to converse or touch around him carelessly like that so freely so isn't it basic human courtesy to hold off all the physical affection till they're more acquainted?

well, not that riddle's not gonna let their current relationship advance any further from strangers at this point...

he's so loyal to you that it's cute jabskans.

riddle sticks to his principles, and he certainly has his own preferences for the personality of people. one of the traits he despises is when they don't understand his earlier warnings.

of course riddle isn't very forgiving, they're lucky they were even given a chance before cause even he, doesn't spare his dorm members a second chance when they break a rule he's been plenty lenient with.

so if you were given a chance, you better take it cause he's not giving you another.

like how since you did take your chance he's not gonna let you go now 😍.

isn't the type to be rude to people for matters he deems conflict being easily avoidable so he just makes up a believable excuse and walks away loool.

and they're like thinking; didn't he say he was tired and had to sleep since he stayed up planning the unbirthday party... why is he having a tea date with you???

suddenly he didn't look too tired at all compared to when he randomly slumped to look exhausted before??

something unsaid; 🥰🍵 what a successful unbirthday party *forgets about them immediately cause you're both having an unofficial date.*

ㅤdorm Leaders Being Savages

note. ok so something unsaids are basically that but don't misunderstand, it's something they didn't say.

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