Dear Whoever Is Using The EctoBiologist Chumhandle On Pesterchum Right Now..

Matpat what the shit bro

In drivers ed and the instructor heard the car make a weird noise and got really concerned.. it was my stomach growling

Me trying to explode my history teacher with my mind

I don't trust doctors that look healthy and content with life. If I can't see the physical toll your med school debt has taken on you then I don't think you went to med school at all.

My sister had me look for her heat protectant spray and I opened a drawer and found a spray bottle labeled 'sex toy cleaner' dawg I'm CRYING WHY WOULDNT YOU JUST USE SOAP AND WATER I AM CERTAIN THAT SPRAY IS NOT ENOUGH TO CLEAN IT

Drew this because this is me currently

Crazy news. I'm part of the cast for the first performance of a play and when it gets published mine and my castmates names will be on it as the original cast!!!!!!!!

Imagine you're at a party and someone pulls out a bag of coke and you go to do a line and it's actually itching powder. What would you even do at that point

how to take screenshot

screw xlax bruh

theyre these laxative chocolates and when you eat the first one its kinda alright but after the second helping they taste so bad man. i suppose they are better than the kind you put into water though because those make the water taste weird