coffee-in-rain

Latest Posts by coffee-in-rain

imagine if during Will's honey trap era, they were in the middle of leaving a therapy session (both heading to their cars), and a bug crawls inside Hannibal's ear and he feels / hears it flutttering and moving around and can't get it out. and it reminds Hannibal of being in the cabin in Lithuania when bugs would be all over the place and get in his hair and try to crawl inside his ear where it's warm 😭 literally throwing up as i type this.

happy birthday, grace!! ily and hope you have an amazing day <3

The Gift Wars - Chapters 19 & 20

Rating: E (for chapter 20 only) Update Word Count: 11.7k Total Word Count: 48.5k

happy birthday to meeeeeeeee :)

heheh enjoy my loves!!

would LOOVE to read your darker fics, your writing is so amazing and i just know they’re just as good as the stuff you post here. there would definitely be a market for it!

omg i am so grateful there are people like you in fandom who are supportive of writers exploring themes that exist in the show!! i feel i should preface with: these are very different from my regular fics on my main account so please be aware of that. i don't want anyone to read something they'll be uncomfortable with. these are like 'game-of-thrones-level-dark.'

disclaimer: i don't condone anything that happens in these fics! these are works of fiction. these fics explore some themes implied in the show, but on a much deeper and visceral level. be sure to read all the tags and warnings. i've listed them as thoroughly as possible. if you get to a point where you need to back out, please do for your own comfort and mental well-being. if you don't like dark fics, don't read these fics.

adding this important disclaimer / explanation about dark fics / dark content here for those who haven't read it yet.

my two fics are linked down below under the cut! i'll be locking these fics later tonight because of the recent AI scraping, so from then on, only registered users will be able to access my fics. i'm sorry to all my lovely guest readers. if you want to make an account, it shouldn't take long at all, only a few weeks to wait for the invitation. if anyone leaves a comment, i'll gobble it up like a chocolate chip cookie and would be so grateful because comments on darker fics are rare. <3

How I felt after posting chapter 6 of 'the ache against the wind' when Hannibal is sedated and dragged out of Will's bed to be taken back to the BSHCI, and calling out for Will before passing out, and then in the next chapter, Hannibal passes out on the toilet after being force-fed laxatives again.

My early whump was truly whump-ing. 🤭

Person who sent the prompt about Hannibal becoming skinny from the BSHCI and feeling dysmorphic over it—tbh both your options sound like they have such potential!! I was thinking about Hannibal growing too depressed to go on eating, but the other part of me thinks that because of his past he wouldn’t allow himself to starve like that (so long as he knows that his food isn’t poisoned). If he was deprived of food…I can only imagine the wrath Will would feel when Hannibal feebly tells him why he became so skinny.

omg i love that! someone suggested this and i am having thoughts about maybe one day, Hannibal was served soup and he ended up not being able to eat it. normally, Hannibal at least eats (because he doesn't like going hungry), but when it comes to soup, he simply cannot stomach it--especially stew. then one of the orderlies takes notice of it (that his food is nearly untouched) and from then on, soup is what Hannibal is given. Hannibal tries to eat, but he ends up vomiting after like five spoonfuls, and relives flashbacks / nightmares of his time in the cabin. soon, Hannibal loses the desire to eat and feels his stomach churn at every meal. then once Will sees how skinny Hannibal's become after recovering post-fall, suggests something easy for him to eat--like soup--and Hannibal's reliving his worst nightmare. but then Will catches on and suggests something else, anything Hannibal is willing to eat.

i agree with this 100%. my housewife hannibal sequel was scraped by that damn AI scraper / whatever the fuck you call it. i am so sad because i worked so hard on the newest chapter. i poured 3 months of dedication and love and joy into that new chapter, and to have it (and some of my other fics) be used for AI training (some soul-less machine) is not a good feeling at all. i'm sorry to all my lovely guest readers, but i will be locking all my fics so only registered users can access them, because fuck AI.

After the recent scrape of Ao3 I feel like now is a good time to say a few things

Authors: Limit your works to registered users only, you are going to see a drop in activity which is going to suck a lot but it's 10x better than having your work stolen and used to train AI. Please take care of your precious work

Readers: If you aren't registered, it's to get registered. You've probably been lurking on ao3 for at least a little while, and if you want to be able to properly interact with your favourite works then the best thing to do is get registered. This way authors can feel supported and you can still interact with your favourite works. It's important the authors and readers help each other out here

Registered Readers: It is important, now more than ever, that you comment and kudos on works that you enjoy. Even it was just one line. Hit that fucking kudos button. And never ever be afraid to comment on fics. You have no idea how overjoyed authors are to get even a single emoji for a comment. And if you have more to say, please say it. it means so much to the authors

AI "writers": Go fuck yourself

Good luck to the writers and thanks in advance to the unregistered readers

there is no better feeling than getting kudos from my tumblr moots & tumblr followers on my second AO3 account designated for my dark fics. i wanna wail "omg hi, guys, i'm so glad you enjoy my darker fics, too!"

unfortunately, some people are very much against dark fics to the point they harass writers of dark content, so i keep those fics separate from my main account, but please know ily and am kissing you all on the forehead whenever i see you've left a kudo or a comment. people who can enjoy very different flavors of writing are blessings in fandom. <3

maybe one day, i'll post the link here if y'all are interested in reading them! feels a bit daunting tbh. fandom spaces have changed so much since i was a kid and the rise in purity culture / want for censorship on fanfic (literal fiction; nothing real at all) is something i never thought was necessary even as a kid when i found ff.net and then AO3 years later as a young teenager. i remember reading my first dark fic on AO3 when i was like fifteen.

i never assumed or thought the author condoned what they'd written. (that is literal common sense); do authors of published books / screenwriters of movies or shows condone the dark things they write? most certainly not; it's written because every aspect of human life is interesting to explore; even the ugly / taboo parts of humanity; take, for example, horror movies where characters are murdered in brutal ways, like "sinister" (2012); or movies that portray someone being sexually assaulted; or movies / tv shows based on published books, like 'flowers in the attic' & 'game of thrones' / 'a song of ice and fire'; those contain dark fictional explorations, and mainstream media doesn't think those writers condone what they've created because we understand it's only a work of fiction and an exploration of how people have behaved all throughout history, even if it is uncomfortable to read or watch; taboo topics are interesting to write about because it is so far removed from what we're taught is an acceptable way to behave in society; writers of dark fanfic don't condone what we write about; it's a simple exploration of a topic, and if certain people cannot differentiate fanfiction from reality, then they probably shouldn't be reading fanfic at all; especially if they're going to harass writers who write about topics they don't agree with being written, because it is entirely fictional and not a condoning of those behaviors; there are tags and warnings on AO3 for a reason and people pushing for censorship are doing more harm than good. most young people nowadays weren't in the trenches on ff.net being blindsided by shocking turns of events like non-con, assault, etc. (which couldn't be tagged because there is simply not an ability to do that on ff.net), so they don't realize what a blessing AO3's tagging / warning system is. they just see content they don't like, which they can literally scroll past (and also exclude with filters), and scream "ew, censor it! because i don't like the fact that it was written, even though it is no different than movies or books or tv shows portraying the same themes."

when i read a dark fic for the first time at fifteen, i never thought the author was deserving of my judgement, hate, etc. because i knew it wasn't real at all. i was only reading words on a screen. when the content started making me feel uncomfortable, i simply stopped reading and i never considered leaving a disparaging comment because i'd willingly clicked on the fic after reading the tags and warnings. i really shouldn't have been reading that type of content at that age, but it'd piqued my curiosity. then i realized dark fics weren't for me at that time, but it was not the author's fault when i chose to read it. and i reminded myself it wasn't real and moved on with my life. i really wish that line of thinking returned in fandom spaces.

"I didn't comment on a fic I liked because I don't think the author would care or remember my comment anyway". fanfic writer here, I still remember comments I got on my fics from seven years ago. I still think about them and they still make me smile. your kind comments are what motivates us and what helps us keep writing.

I personally know writers who take screenshot and print out comments they got from their readers.

TL;DR comments matter to us writers more than you think. if you like a fanfic, never be shy to let the author know ♡

Oh my God can I first off just say how much I LOVE your writing, I’m so happy to have found someone else who likes to write and read about vulnerable Hannibal. I look forward to your fics so much, seriously they make my entire week (even if they make me really sad, I usually hope for some sort of a happy ending with your fics even with all the work it takes them to get there. Love vulnerable Hannibal, but also love even more seeing him get the care and love he deserves!!)

Anyways, I can’t stop thinking about Hannibal keeping himself covered up around Will post-fall, and Will doesn’t understand why until he one day walks in on Hannibal changing, and seeing he’s become so skinny from his time in the BSHCI. It makes Hannibal feel dysmorphic because it reminds him of when he starved as a child. Will misses when Hannibal had some softness on his stomach, and promises (either out loud or just to himself) that Hannibal will never want for anything when it comes to food.

oh my god!!! ILY WHOEVER YOU ARE!! first,

*wipes tears from my eyes*

omg thank you so much for your kind words!! you are so sweet and i am so glad you enjoy my fics, that is the sweetest compliment ever. <3 also omg if you write fics as well, i'd love to read yours, too!!

second, the prompt??

I AM AAAHHHHHCKTUALLY SCREAMING THIS IS EVERYTHING!! God, the thought of Hannibal feeling dysmorphic after becoming skinny in the BSHCI is making me weep and I haven't even written it yet. 😭 Then Will realizing Hannibal is feeling dysmorphic because of it?? I wail. I weep. You are on some genius-level-thinking for coming up with that prompt.

The only question I have is: do you want the reason for Hannibal's weight loss to be because he grew disinterested in eating because of depression or because he was deprived of food? 👀

AHHHH IM STILL IN LOVE WITH IT A BILLION DAYS LATER 🥹 tysm for making it for me!! you're so, so talented 🩵🩷

Does anyone want screencap edits for profile pics or blog headers or stuff like that? I haven't done much with stills but it sounds like fun. Lemme know if you have smthn specific in mind! My DMs are opennnn

One of my weird headcanons that I feel like sharing:

Hannibal has a stuffed animal of Mischa’s that he purchased or made himself for her, and that she cherished very much. He somehow managed to keep it through the chaos following her death and his time in the orphanage, maybe by hiding it somewhere and retrieving it later. He keeps it with him all his life, the only thing of hers not buried in a grave. He can’t bear to look at it too often, but if he goes too long without seeing it he gets paranoid that it’s gone, disappeared like everything else that ever mattered to him.

Here is the link to my first post (a vulnerable Hannibal fic rec)!

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTjrdFBkE/

Tell me why it's more nerve wracking than posting on AO3 lol.

edit: omg y'all if AO3 had the capability to show you how many people are viewing your fic like tiktok does for videos, i would be stressed out, but also it is a bit thrilling tbh 🤭

making a tiktok account for my hannibal headcanons and vulnerable hannibal rec list and rambles <3 i woke up from a nap and it came to me like a vision.

making a tiktok account for my hannibal headcanons and vulnerable hannibal rec list and rambles <3 i woke up from a nap and it came to me like a vision.

What's your favorite horror movie?

Idk maybe when Will rejected Hannibal and Hannibal hesitated for a second before leaving as if he was debating whether he could insist some more but he decided it wouldn't change a thing

On the other hand, imagine Hannibal becoming blind because of glaucoma. The same thing happens. Hannibal is pulled out of bed and dragged out into the hall and tries to fight back and gets shot in the stomach. He can only hear scuffling. Everything is blurry and seeing in dim lighting is impossible. That's why Will would always leave little night lights around the house. He can hear Will fighting back and cursing. The man says they only want Will alive. Hannibal is dragged outside. He claws at the ground, nails scraping against sea shells and sand. Then, catching on wood. Their dock. Then, a rope is tied around Hannibal's ankle. They know he can't see because they've been watching Hannibal and Will for a while. Hannibal is thrown off the dock and into the ocean, bleeding and unable to see where the surface is, because they want to watch him struggle. But they won't let him drown (okay, don't imagine Hannibal being scared a shark may get him unless you want to cry like me. but also imagine Hannibal's other foot being bitten by a shark and mangled, but his foot remains intact, just damaged. imagine Hannibal's little gurgling scream underneath the water, where he's cold and frightened and being shaken around by the shark before it lets go.) Then, Will kills all three men in a rage and swims to Hannibal, wearing one of the night vision goggles. It breaks Will's heart to see Hannibal disoriented in the current, swimming the wrong way. He grabs the rope and tugs Hannibal close. It's the first time Hannibal shows true fear after losing the ability to see clearly, clinging to Will.

Imagine Hannibal going deaf when he's like 60 years-old. The world around him is always muffled and he can no longer hear Will's voice. Imagine Will noticing Hannibal is insecure about speaking now because it's difficult to articulate when he can't hear, especially since English is not his native language. Hannibal doesn't know it, but his accent thickens over time and Will finds it endearing because only he gets to hear it. Soon, he rarely speaks anymore and communicates via writing. One night, Hannibal wakes to a gun against his temple. It's cold. The captors are wearing night vision goggles and drag him and Will out of bed. Hannibal fights back and is shot in the stomach. He tries to call out for Will as he's dragged outside where it's pitch black. He knows his voice is probably slurred because he can't hear himself when he speaks and he's forgotten how many English words sound. He can't see anything. He can't hear anything. All he knows is he's bleeding and being dragged across their yard and Will is not here. Imagine Will hearing Hannibal's voice for the first time in ages, slurred and thick and trembling.

*sniffling into my sleeve and wiping tears from my eyes* STOP ILYSM YOU ARE SO SWEET AND TALENTED AS WELL 🥹🩵

reblog if you have skilled writer friends and you're damn proud of them

Imagine Hannibal going deaf when he's like 60 years-old. The world around him is always muffled and he can no longer hear Will's voice. Imagine Will noticing Hannibal is insecure about speaking now because it's difficult to articulate when he can't hear, especially since English is not his native language. Hannibal doesn't know it, but his accent thickens over time and Will finds it endearing because only he gets to hear it. Soon, he rarely speaks anymore and communicates via writing. One night, Hannibal wakes to a gun against his temple. It's cold. The captors are wearing night vision goggles and drag him and Will out of bed. Hannibal fights back and is shot in the stomach. He tries to call out for Will as he's dragged outside where it's pitch black. He knows his voice is probably slurred because he can't hear himself when he speaks and he's forgotten how many English words sound. He can't see anything. He can't hear anything. All he knows is he's bleeding and being dragged across their yard and Will is not here. Imagine Will hearing Hannibal's voice for the first time in ages, slurred and thick and trembling.

Hannibal's toilet being removed in the BSHCI is something I'll always want to explore in fics because the whump possibilities are endless. Humans can supposedly only last three to five days without water. Hannibal is no different.

Hannibal's toilet is removed and a gaurd needs to escort him to the bathroom from now on. His meals are suddenly being left on the floor right outside of his cell where he can look at them but not reach them because no one wants to have to take him to the bathroom. For the first day, Hannibal doesn't feel very put off by it because the food isn't even that good. He needs to use the bathroom but no one comes. So he ends up peeing in a corner. Then, the next day comes and he starts to feel thirsty and his stomach is growling. His plate of food is left on the floor again. He smells the first plate of food start to go bad. Two more days pass and Hannibal's mouth is now dry as a desert. He tries to ignore the hunger and the thirst. He faces the wall to keep from seeing the food just out of reach. He knows humans can only last so long without water. That's when he starts to feel real fear. He swallows his own saliva because he's so thirsty, but it becomes impossible when his mouth is so dry. His lips are chapped now, uncomfortably so. He doesn't have to use the bathroom anymore because there's nothing to expel. This is the first time Hannibal's gone without food in decades. Imagine how much trauma would resurface. Being starved when food is still visible. Like in the cabin. He's getting quite scared now when it becomes the fifth day without food or water. He lays in bed because of fatigue. He doesn't expect to see Will on the afternoon of the sixth day. Imagine Hannibal regressing in that moment because it's too much; being so thirsty and hungry and seeing Will (who is mad at him after sending someone after Molly). He wonders if this was Will's idea. A form of punishment. He's curled up in bed when today's dinner plate is passed through his cell. He doesn't move to get it. There could be something in the food or the water. He's being watched by Will so obviously something must be amiss.

Five minutes pass and Will is still staring, brows furrowed. "Come eat," he says.

But Hannibal can't even if he's craving a droplet of water. Dread fills Hannibal's veins when Will leaves moments later. Then, Will returns twenty minutes later with a bag of food from one of Hannibal's favorite restaurants and a key and a water bottle. He feels relieved and overwhelmed all at once. Hannibal is struggling to sit up because he's feeling so weak and lightheaded. So Will needs to help him, and that's when Will notices how chapped Hannibal's mouth is. That he's probably not eaten or drank anything at all in the last few days.

Imagine Will asking "Are you thirsty, sweetheart?" and Hannibal starts tearing up and nodding. Will guides a straw past Hannibal's chapped lips and is left in shock when Hannibal finishes the entire bottle in a minute, still trying to drink even when there is no water left.

Truly!!

Like how this session must've ended, and how Hannibal must've been feeling during it, knowing he'd been betrayed? That keeps me up at night. This is just an old fic idea I had, but:

Imagine if Hannibal had to fight back tears in the aftermath of this moment because he’d never experienced a betrayal quite like this—because he hadn’t gotten this close to anyone since he was a child—and he had finally let Will see a part of himself he’d never imagined he could share with anyone. He believed he’d been accepted up until now. My headcanon is he was punished for not being able to speak at the orphanage: beaten when he would be forced to try and speak; but no words would come out; only a weak rasp. Imagine if he struggled to continue the their conversation because a lump was forming in his throat and it felt too much like the strain of trying to speak as a mute child.

So he panicked (because muteness is something he hadn't struggled with in decades) and all he could do was whimper as Will—

I really wanna know what happened in Mizumono moments after Hannibal smelt Freddie’s perfume on Will. How did he end the visit? How did Will not notice a shift in the atmosphere with his empathy? Like come on, Willy boy—put that over-empathetic brain to work. 😩

And the dinner scene when Hannibal suggests they run away together, feed Will’s dogs, and leave a note for Alana—but Will doesn’t want to. I bet Hannibal was fighting back a sniffle and a tearful hiccup with each bite. You know that sore, sandpaper sensation in your throat when you’re about to burst into tears, but holding it back?

Imagine if while Hannibal was eating, he choked because his throat felt so raw and Will had to do the Heimlich maneuver on him—and it only worsened his emotional state because Will has been playing him and just witnessed him gasping for his life over a small chunk of lamb. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but Will believes it’s only a simple case of watery eyes. Then an ugly, voice-cracking sob bursts from Hannibal’s chest because Will is being so gentle with him—rubbing his back and asking if he’s all right (since he’s never nothing but elegance and grace 24/7)—and for the first time in decades his voice abandons him.

He hasn’t felt this off-kilter or this unlovable since he was in the orphanage—mute and alone—just waiting for someone to truly see him.

Will’s seen him—but he knows Will doesn’t want him as he is—who he’s always been. It’s a crushing blow. One he never thought he would have to experience because he never imagined meeting someone like Will.

I really wanna know what happened in Mizumono moments after Hannibal smelt Freddie’s perfume on Will. How did he end the visit? How did Will not notice a shift in the atmosphere with his empathy? Like come on, Willy boy—put that over-empathetic brain to work. 😩

And the dinner scene when Hannibal suggests they run away together, feed Will’s dogs, and leave a note for Alana—but Will doesn’t want to. I bet Hannibal was fighting back a sniffle and a tearful hiccup with each bite. You know that sore, sandpaper sensation in your throat when you’re about to burst into tears, but holding it back?

Imagine if while Hannibal was eating, he choked because his throat felt so raw and Will had to do the Heimlich maneuver on him—and it only worsened his emotional state because Will has been playing him and just witnessed him gasping for his life over a small chunk of lamb. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but Will believes it’s only a simple case of watery eyes. Then an ugly, voice-cracking sob bursts from Hannibal’s chest because Will is being so gentle with him—rubbing his back and asking if he’s all right (since he’s never nothing but elegance and grace 24/7)—and for the first time in decades his voice abandons him.

He hasn’t felt this off-kilter or this unlovable since he was in the orphanage—mute and alone—just waiting for someone to truly see him.

Will’s seen him—but he knows Will doesn’t want him as he is—who he’s always been. It’s a crushing blow. One he never thought he would have to experience because he never imagined meeting someone like Will.

update: i finally finished chapter 11 and had to shower and wipe away my tears and snot because i've been ugly crying, but omg y'all go read this asap and please share your thoughts, even if they are small, with the author because this is the most phenomenal fic i've ever read and it's genuinely better than any movie i've seen in recent years. <3

@cervviidae i couldn't add gifs in my comments, so here are some of my reactions because i have to ramble!

this was me when the angst was angst-ing and my reaction any time i quoted something or raved in my comments

this was me when Hannibal laid his head in Will's lap, and when Hannibal cried during sex in the tent, and when they put flowers in each other's hair and felt pretty and then made love to each other, and when Hannibal dreamed about speaking out loud to Will and wanted to be a little song-bird to only sing of Will and build a nest out of the syllables of Will's name and his own hair and lay eggs of adoration as that little bird and become the nature surrounding it, and when Hannibal felt childlike fear at the thought of losing Will, and when Hannibal struggled with the tent, and when Will called Hannibal little darlin', and when i read the entirety of chapter 11.

i loved it so so much!! <3

i know this is on my vulnerable Hannibal fic rec list already, but i cannot recommend it enough because it is so beautiful and the last two chapters are finally up! everyone and their momma, go read i have loved you in a tame way & i have loved you wild by @cervviidae (and leave a comment for the author if you can, they deserve so much love) because it is such a beautiful Hannigram AU!! i rarely read AUs myself, but this has quickly become one of my favorite fics of all time <3 i'm about to read the last two chapters and i'm so excited to see how it ends <3

update: it's been five hours now and i'm only halfway through chapter 10 (i think it's because i write down my favorite quotes and moments in my notes app and rave my heart out to paste them into the comment section; as a reader, i really love leaving long comments because writers deserve to feel appreciated) and i've been ugly crying since the first few paragraphs 😭🩵 it is absolutely stunning and ripping my heart out in the best way. i recommend it if you loooove vulnerable Hannibal because every moment of vulnerability is so perfect and leaves me in shambles 😭🩵

i know this is on my vulnerable Hannibal fic rec list already, but i cannot recommend it enough because it is so beautiful and the last two chapters are finally up! everyone and their momma, go read i have loved you in a tame way & i have loved you wild by @cervviidae (and leave a comment for the author if you can, they deserve so much love) because it is such a beautiful Hannigram AU!! i rarely read AUs myself, but this has quickly become one of my favorite fics of all time <3 i'm about to read the last two chapters and i'm so excited to see how it ends <3

i know this is on my vulnerable Hannibal fic rec list already, but i cannot recommend it enough because it is so beautiful and the last two chapters are finally up! everyone and their momma, go read i have loved you in a tame way & i have loved you wild by @cervviidae (and leave a comment for the author if you can, they deserve so much love) because it is such a beautiful Hannigram AU!! i rarely read AUs myself, but this has quickly become one of my favorite fics of all time <3 i'm about to read the last two chapters and i'm so excited to see how it ends <3

Hannibal regressing at the cliff house because it is so overwhelming to be out of the BSHCI where he always felt like a bug (constantly being looked at and taunted about being trapped there until the end of time). He showers and changes, taking those moments alone to try and calm himself down. Then, when Hannibal is in the kitchen pouring two glasses of wine, Will starts to notice the signs something is amiss: rapid blinking, unsteady hands, uptick in breathing. Hannibal cannot stop the inevitable.

Usually, regression happens gradually for Hannibal. Tonight, regression happens in under a minute. He accidentally taps the wine bottle against the wine glass too hard and it ends up shattering, spilling wine everywhere. He barely manages to set the bottle back down with shaking fingers. He clutches the countertop for balance and stability. He cannot look at Will. He doesn't know how Will would react or treat him in such a state.

He knows making a mess is bad and deserving of punishment. He remembers receiving beatings in the orphanage after having dropped a full plate and being forced to sit outside in the cold. Reactive anger from Will (who's been pissed about Dollarhyde going after his wife and stepson) is a real possibility. Even if Hannibal does not remember everything while regressed, Will's been angry about something as of recent. That's all Hannibal knows. He's been bad. He's been even worse tonight. He's made a mess. He wants to be touched; hugged. Even if it's not something Hannibal deserves right now.

There is a moment where all Will can do is stare in bewilderment because Hannibal is never clumsy. There is wine all over the counter, all over Hannibal's knuckles and pants and shirt and sleeves. Hannibal's eyelids are clenched shut, eyelashes gleaming with unfallen tears. Hannibal's breathing is shifting into small and shallow inhales. Will steps closer and grasps Hannibal by the elbow, intending to pull him away from the mess. That is when the world seems to stop and Hannibal's voice trembles around a foreign word; something small and shaky and wet with emotion. That is when Will realizes Hannibal is in a different mindset; vulnerable and needing comfort; comfort Hannibal's not been given in three long years; maybe even decades.

you are so right about everything and ily and your posts !! <3

Might be imagining things, but have you noticed how he first leans into the embrace, his face onto Will's shoulder?

I mean, he could've pulled Will closer first, without moving an inch. An act of power and having control over Will in his hands. But HE LEANED FIRST.

Maybe, only maybe, he NEEDED this embrace for comfort. It wasn't a terrifying gesture, it was meant for HIM, not Will. The embrace he imagined he'd get from Will, if they had run away together. The one that could've been a fresh start but it turned into a farewell.

i'm sobbing ohmygod 😭💔

imagine that being the first time Hannibal ever leaned into an embrace (okay i think he did it with Abigail once but that was inauthentic), searching for a small crumb of comfort, in decades. imagine if the last genuine hug he'd had was when he was a mute teenager and would wake up from night terrors and be hugged or held by his uncle or Lady Murasaki. then, Hannibal spent the next two decades not ever being hugged until now.

"the embrace he dreamed he'd get, if they'd run away together" is killing me because omg imagine Hannibal being so excited to run away together and hoping Will would hug him. Hannibal post-bshci would be so, so touch-starved and Will had to know or at least form an inkling. the cliff hug was Hannibal's first hug in literal years. Hannibal was probably on cloud 9. post-fall Hannibal would probably still crave it (being hugged, being touched) but be too hesitant to seek it out (unless while asleep and unconsciously crept closer to Will).

Might be imagining things, but have you noticed how he first leans into the embrace, his face onto Will's shoulder?

I mean, he could've pulled Will closer first, without moving an inch. An act of power and having control over Will in his hands. But HE LEANED FIRST.

Maybe, only maybe, he NEEDED this embrace for comfort. It wasn't a terrifying gesture, it was meant for HIM, not Will. The embrace he imagined he'd get from Will, if they had run away together. The one that could've been a fresh start but it turned into a farewell.

opening my AO3 inbox with a brand new (1) and finding out it's a scammer trying to commission fanart is so disheartening 😭💔

Hannibal's food trauma flaring up in the winter is always on my mind.

During season 2, post-episode naka-choko, Hannibal is in the middle of a binge (eating foods from his childhood because it helps him feel closer to Mischa, and because there is always a persistent and illogical, deep-rooted fear of running out of food) and regresses. He's wearing the red sweater and matching pajama pants. His hair is unstyled, laying soft across his forehead. He's alone in the dining room until someone else unexpectedly enters the room. Will (because they both gave the other a spare key), who is stunned when Hannibal startles for the first time ever and gasps and starts choking on a mouthful of food. And for a few moments, Will is frozen --waiting for Hannibal to settle. He doesn't. He's clawing at his throat and tears are pouring down each cheek. Then, Will rushes over and does the heimlich maneuver on Hannibal. The mouthful of food lands onto Hannibal's plate. He's gasping for breath, blinking wetly--and Will is unprepared for the next moment: the back of Hannibal's skull presses closer; a small, reversal nuzzle; seeking comfort. Will is still holding onto Hannibal's waist, holding him up, feeling how bloated and strained his abdomen is right now. Then, Hannibal's chest lurches and he starts gagging and ends up vomiting all over the table. His fists are curled around the table's edge and Will struggles to hold him up from how violently he's retching. Puking always distresses little Hannibal because puking reminds him of the moment he realized he ate the soup filled with Mischa's remains. He's a trembling wreck, tears and snot and saliva and bile coating his mouth and chin. He doesn't respond to Will's questions of concern. He disassociates, blinking blankly and reliving flashbacks of being trapped inside the cabin with Mischa and being so, so hungry and cold and scared, even if he didn't want to show the men he was afraid. He doesn't react until Will brings a napkin up to his mouth, wiping away the mess. He startles again, whimpering yet not able to move in such a cramped position. Will realizes something is wrong when Hannibal's rasped and ruined voice fills the air: something foreign and trembling, a half-formed cry. That's when Will realizes something is wrong. That Hannibal isn't drunk. There is food everywhere; multiple pans half-full. There is no cutlery, because Hannibal's been eating everything by hand-feeding himself. He's shivering and disheveled and reeking of vomit. Will knows leaving Hannibal like this is not an option. For the first few moments, consoling Hannibal does not come with a natural ease, but Will slowly begins to understand that touch and a gentle voice are comforting for little Hannibal. The mess is first on Will's list, and he makes Hannibal sit back down and drink some water, then begins cleaning up the table. Hannibal becomes distressed when he realizes what's happening; that food is being taken away. It takes a few moments for Will to calm Hannibal down. To remind Hannibal that he's already had enough. Soon, Will leads Hannibal upstairs to change into clean pajamas. Then, Hannibal asks Will to stay, in a voice so small that Will couldn't possibly refuse.

Later, when little Hannibal is asleep, curled up against Will's chest after explaining winter always makes him hungry and sharing stories of his childhood (maybe abuse at the orphanage), and sharing that he's never had a best friend after losing Mischa until now, Will begins to second guess everything and no longer wants to go through with the plan of entrapping Hannibal. Especially when little Hannibal admits to Will he didn't mean to eat the soup--he was just so hungry--and Will is left wondering what it means until everything clicks into place.

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ “To the truth, then… and all its consequences.”

how is it so cold when summer is right around the corner? i feel like i'm in an igloo and my heated blanket just broke 😭