I Might Not Know If There's Life After Death But I Sure Know That I Will Bite You Rn

🥰Women🥰 on dating apps: carefully selected aesthetically pleasing photos, cool interesting facts about them, jokes that actually make me giggle

Featherless bipides males: SO FUCKINH BORING AND BLAND

Attention whore (me) (I'd die for that stupid looking fish, hes my baby now)

An aquarium in Japan was closed for renovations, and their resident sunfish got depressed not seeing visitors. So the staff put some uniforms with printed faces against the tank, and it immediately recovered.

I don't know what type of hormones we release the first few days after our period, but suddenly I feel like forgiving people from middle school

"Be yourself" bold of you to assume I know who I am

I think only a vampire boyfriend could heal me

I miss my wife (my bedside lamp)

Pinterest, Twitter (not calling it X out of spite) and Tumblr are like the Holy trinity, same thing but in different fonts and boy am I on my knees for all of them

I think there's only one God, mostly because to choose to create THIS much, you need to be starving in loneliness, don't you think?

Whenever I see a very much normal post I get some stupid ass comment in mind but then the comments are deactivated and I want to kms

Fuck the question "are you a top or a bottom" ask me are you the King or the Jester and then we can kiss after I put my jester hat on