I Made It This Far, Right?

I made it this far, right?

So it shouldn't be so hard to relate to others.

But it just feels like there's a glass dome separating me from other people.

I wanted to love Noah more than anything...but my pain stops me.

He's being patient and all, but I don't know how much longer I can hold him.... Heavens I want him so much that my heart even hurts!

But when he touches me I remember them

Not images like those clichés in movies... But I feel the pulling and nausea and everything horrible.

This is so unfair...

So unbearably lonely...

That sometimes I wanted to have wings and fly far away...

Far away from myself.

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3 years ago

Felipe

Maybe it's hard for you to understand

Understand what it's like to feel the deep emptiness

The pain of knowing you'll never receive that love of fairy tales

of adventure stories

I never saw this love

My mother died when I was a child

My Aunt

The only light

Jumped off a building when I turned 21

Sex was always easy

But love

I thought I would never feel that

I would never receive I never felt anything from anyone

As much as people gave themselves to me

Until I see you

for some reason i knew you were the chosen one

You could love me just as much as I would love you

When you looked at me with indifference

Something inside me died

Everything was you

You are my Religion

My light

My silver sword

You were after all... my obsession

Suddenly living without you was not an option

Collete 2022


Tags
2 years ago
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