Humans Are Weird

By all accounts, the human's biology doesn't make any sense.

All our theories of civilizations require the civilization's species to be herbivorous - carnivores and omnivores were too prone to violence, as hunting is needed for their survival, which made them too unlikely to cooperate on large scale.

And yet, here it is. A specimen from an advanced species, and our inspection of it revealed signs of meat-eating.

When we first noticed the canines, the entire crew freaked out. This thing could potentially kill us all.

Luckily, it was still unconscious, so we weren't in immediate danger. We moved it to a secluded room in the ship, where it is now waking up.

I was chosen to enter the room when the human wakes in order to attempt to question it about it's biology.

I do not know if I'll get out of that room alive.

I love your works but do you kind putting an eyestrain warning on ur rainbow posts ;_; it's ok if not, I don't mind.. I just don't want to have to block you for it since I like ur writings

Sure, but how do i do that? Should i write on the top "EYESTRAIN" or is it better to put a picture saying that, and then the rainbow text at the bottom?

Also i got 2 posts that contain the rainbow texts, so if you could reply to the one u were talking about, then i would help a lot :)

Also it might help, but if you go to settings-account settings, and click on the color palette, you can choose what mode u want

Maybe the dark mode will help?

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

‼️ARTFIGHT‼️

**[This document and all associated documents are the property of the SCP Foundation, and are subject to the classification requirements and restrictions therein. This document may or may not contain lethal memetic defense measures. Attempting to access or disseminate this document without proper and sufficient authorization is punishable by death.]**

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☣️ ArtFight URL: https://artfight.net/~_ZOZO_

☣️ Team: <:2024_Seafoam:1251653324995035196>

☣️ Types of characters SCP-ZOZO have:

- humans

- humanoids

- worm

☣️ Types of characters SCP-ZOZO create:

- Humans

- Humanoids

- Ferals(very rarely as it is not SCP-ZOZO'S main style)

- Monsters

☣️ Revenge/Friendly fire?: Due to the unpredictable nature of the anomaly, its inconsistent creations display a probability of friendly fire, but is guaranteed when a revenge is requested from an individual on the opposing side.

☣️ Extra: SCP-ZOZO is to be documented at all times. Only Authorized personnel with a level 4 access card are permitted to handle the anomaly.

☣️ Hitlist: https://forms.office.com/e/54a887K9D1

☣️ Requests to commission are to be followed through the link below before directly interacting with the SCP:

https://msha.ke/zozoshroomer

☣️ Art Examples / Characters

Alien crewmate: Everyone thinks you guys are so cute, but they forget you're venomous. Humans are something else.

Human: Fun fact we aren't technically venomous, we just have so much bacteria in our mouths that most human bites get infected.

Alien crewmate, horrified: I preferred when I thought you were venomous.

Yo yo yo, if you don't shut yo mouth, I'ma shut ir for you PUNK

Hit u, hit u, withe the, with the

Punk, punk tactics

Hit u, hit u, withe the, with the

Punk, punk tactics

Humans are space orcs (2)

It seems like you guys liked the space orcs post-

Alien *over coms*: Your ship is pinpointed, and you are targeted, you can stop or we may have to use excessive force to dock.

Humans *over coms*: We will file a police report! This will not go unknown. If you dock without permission, we might put this on your permanent record

Aliens : All it takes is one shot and your entire system goes now, red-tape is of no concern!

Humans :  Who told you that?- It doesn’t matter. According to A-B5.6 we will be notifying you of our departure

Aliens : Humans, silly ones. So worried about red-tape.

Aliens: *Shoot a missile to the thrusters*

Humans: *Ship slows down to a halt*

*The Alien’s ship docks on the human ship*

*In the Alien ship*

Alien Commander: Why isn’t the dock opening? I demand answers!

A1: Well- I think I know the issue-

Alien Commander: Well, what are you waiting for! Lead me to the issue

A2: *Leads him to a wide glass panel overlooking the human ship*

The shields of the flicker from light blue to a dark blue with white text overlaid.

System.S0x073SXE has crashed

Overriding SYSTEM account

Device DIV0348.637.dock(1.94) has stopped

Device DIV0845378.637.Athrust(6.27) has stopped

Device DIV03458.637.Bthrust(7.24) has stopped

Restarting System. S0x073SXE.bUP.Athurst

Restarting System. S0x073SXE.bUP.Bthrust

The dock, thruster A and B fall away from the humans ship

2 new thrusters the show up were thruster A and B show up with yellow paint and green text saying “Backup Thruster”

Alien *over coms*: What happened?

Humans *over coms*: Have you every heard of modularity, the power to throw away part as we see fit! We can remove up 95% of our ship and it will still work just fine! However, one hit to any part of yours you render you unable to perform!

Aliens : *…* Why haven’t we thought about this before?