You Can Recognize Yourself Through The Fictional Character. But Watch Out

got a family reunion today 😬

My job was to go around refilling the health and stamina bars of bosses in every game.

Still a more pleasant experience than working in retail.

still one of my favorite bits i ever got to commit was pretending not to know who jesus is when a street preacher was evangelizing to me. he was like "do you know who jesus is?" and i had so much time before my next bus and i wanted to know what would happen so i said no. and you know what. he had clearly never been told no to that question before because if i hadn't actually known who jesus was, his baffled and fumbling attempt sure wouldn't have told me. literally reversed the roles. now you get to stand here feeling very uncomfortable and wishing you could be somewhere else because guess what buddy, this is my bus stop, im early (and can catch like five other buses from this exact stop), and im now thoroughly invested in hearing about this mysterious jesus figure. you're locked in here with me. im eating the key as we speak. i will kill us both before i let you out of here.

very highly recommend this bit if you can pull it off and if you have time to kill

When someone says Clara Oswald is a perfect Mary Sue manic pixie dream girl with no flaws

hey i’m nosy

there’s uuuuh obviously a lot i could’ve listed, so pick whichever category’s closest

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

martha meeting twelve and clara would be soooooooo hysterical to me because you know she would watch their insane self-sacrificial deeply obsessive codependency and be like oh this whole situation is somehow worse than everything that happened to me uh. lmao.

but the show must go on

WHAT A MORNING TROT

Hey baby… I’m stuck in a time loop…. And it’s yours…