Sorry, I Couldn't Resist It, Lambert And Aiden Had To Join Geralt In His Fight Against Under The Bed

Sorry, I couldn't resist it, Lambert and Aiden had to join Geralt in his fight against under the bed monsters!

So the next to encounter one of these contracts are Lambert and Aiden. The last town they passed wasn't too friendly and they were chased off before they could get all the supplies they needed, so when they found a small village they hoped they could get at least some basics like food. What they didn't expect was a smash child to go up to them, trying to give them a contract. Sir Witchers, the small boy, probably around five years of age, said. Sir Witchers I have a contract for you. They looked at each other, slightly confused, for usually the children were all held back by their parents and the stories told about Witchers but this small boy, though smelling and looking nervous, didn't reek of fear. So Aiden crouched down and asked "can you tell me more about the contract you want us to fulfill?" The boy looked around, as if to make sure nobody listened, and said with a lowered voice "there is a monster, under my bed, and the songs said you can get rid of it, so can you get rid of the monster under my bed, too?" And as if in an afterthought he added "please? You see, my mother is all on her own, and she can't fight the monster, she says she is too old for this nonsinte... nonsente" he gave up trying to find the right word "well she says she too old for this, and my sister says there is no monster, but I can hear it in the night, I can hear it rumbling and moving and waiting for me to fall asleep so it can hurt me, and can you just help me, please? I'm gonna pay you! Look, I made this bracelet, and I asked my sister to give it a kiss and a charm, because she's a verg, a virg, a young lady, those the songs sing about, and it says this brings luck to the one who possesses it, so if you can get rid of the monster I'll pay you with it." The boy seemed very proud of his speech and Aiden was trying very hard to hold back the laughter bubbling up, because it had to be Geralt and Jaskiers doing, for a child to approach them for a monster under the bed. He glanced over to Lambert, who looked grumpy and irritated. So he just looked at his partner looked him in the eyes, while the boy was getting more and more nervous stepping from one foot to another and holding a silent communication with Lambert. 'Can you really turn him down? Look in his eyes, look at how hopeful he is, how scared, and why not have a little fun with this? I know, the bracelet is worth nothing but he did go the extra mile to have something to pay us with, and by judging by his clothes this family probably barely has enough to get by every day' to which Lambert communicated back 'and taking something as payment is gonna help? What did my idiotic brother get us into? We're wasting time and daylight and I'm exhausted and just want a nice, warm bed and some good alle for once' after a little while, Lamberts features softened and he agreed, 'For you, my love'. When telling the boy he radiated so much happiness and relieve it was almost overwhelming. They followed the boy, who proudly told them his name was Lukas, to a small hut. The walls of the hut were barely withstanding the forces of nature and they could see, that the family was not doing very well and the mother was probably a widow and overworked and didn't have the energy to handle monsters under the bed anymore. They knocked at what pretended to be a door, but was only a piece of clothing that wouldn't even keep the cold out. A girl, probably eleven years of age, came to the door, looking at them, and especially at Aiden with his eye patch, suspiciously. "They came to defeat the monster under my bed!" The boy acclaimed happily. "How many times do I have to tell you, there is no monster under the bed!" The girl hissed, which made the boys eyes well up with tears. "No need to cry", Lambert says, still a bit grumpy. "We're already here, might as well look into the monster under the bed".

The sister still looked at them suspiciously, but the boy intervened "look, they already accepted the bracelet as payment, and please, can't they just get rid of the monster? That's what they do, fighting monsters! Helping humans! The songs tell the stories of their heroic deeds. And I'm really scared of the monster" The sister just rolled her eyes and let them in.

Aiden knew, the moment they entered the hut, that there was no monster, but he also knew the boy wouldn't believe him if he said so. And he didn't want to disappoint him. So they followed the boy to the bed, hidden behind another curtain, where the whole family probably slept in "please, all step back for a moment Aiden says to the siblings and makes a show out of looking under the bed, looking in every corner and looking back at the siblings to stage whisper "there is one. I can feel it. You have to be careful and let me handle it." And draws his silver sword. "Silver, for monsters" he explains, still stage whispering. The hope, rolling off the boy makes Aiden even more determined to give the children a show they'll never forget. So after the first few pokes with his sword under the bed he pretends the monster got away, flying through the room and pretended to have a truly heroic fight, all the while commenting on it, ending it with killing the monster after it retreated under the bed again. "So, it's dead now?" The boy asked. "And the corpse will be dust and protect me for five years from another one?" Smelling the hope pouring off the boy Lambert answers "not only five years, there won't be another one under this bed, forever". Even with the happiness, he still didn't expect the boy to jump at them, and hugging them, one after the other. "Thank you, thank you both" the boy repeats over and over until it's almost too much and Lambert looks like he's only a second away from bolting out of the door. Finally his sister takes a pity on them and asks Lukas, if he's not forgetting something and to not waste any more of the Witchers time. When Lukas takes the bracelet out of his pocket he looks a bit timid. "Sir Witchers, I'm sorry, I only have one bracelet", to which Lambert replies "it's alright boy, we can share it, I'm sure it's strong enough to protect the both of us, plus my companion did most of the work anyways". After that, Aiden makes sure they leave before it's too much for Lambert.

When they first hear the song the boy talked about a few weeks later in a tavern Aiden can even make Lambert start cackling, when he points out how confused Geralt had to have been when he was first approached with a contract like that and how much fun they're gonna have in the winter, teasing Geralt for his heroic deed. They're not gonna tell about their own "contracts" for monsters under the bed, but they agree, that the next time a child approaches them with a contract like that, they're both gonna make it a huge show for them.

A Contract’s a Contract, No Matter How Small

local woman’s brain has been hijacked by a witcher and his bard. she can now not shut the fuck up about them despite her best efforts.

hello gang, same song and dance. i made a post about something, my brain gremlin wouldn’t let it go, and i sat down and had to write it to get it out of my system (also on AO3!)

Unexpected side effect of Jaskier praising witchers far and wide: children making the logical jump that witchers can handle ALL monsters. Including such subspecies as the under-the-bed variety.

And, well, what are you supposed to say to a child who asks you to fight a monster for them?

His handling of the situation is perhaps not Geralt’s finest hour when it happens. But of the many things he was trained for, the protocol for handling the situation when a child looks to contract your services never came up.

He’s only vaguely aware of the little girl when he and Jaskier reach the town they’re stopping in for the night. His senses and training are enough for him to know that she’s there, but he certainly isn’t expecting her to walk right up to him, whipping her braid over her shoulder to keep it out of her hands where she’d been worrying it on her walk over. He can see her square her shoulders and tug at her dress a bit, straightening it. She’s right in his path, so he can’t go around her. He shoots a look at Jaskier in case he has an explanation for this, but his lover for once appears as thrown by what a human is doing as Geralt is. It’s mildly validating.

Rape Escape

Easy and very effective

Requires nothing but your body

Includes attack

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confusedbluewolf

5 years ago

Regarding the Amazon Rainforest

I barely have followers here, but here we go:

The Amazon Rainforest has been burning for the last 16 days straight. The Brazilian government says the wildfire is caused by the winter itself, since it doesn't rain a lot there... in a rainforest. It is actually, partially true. Winter is indeed a dry season and wildfires may happen, specially close to the Cerrado (a brazilian biome similar to the african Savanna), but what they're not telling us is that:

The deforestation has increased 80% since last year

The native peoples and animals are being slaughtered for their lands (legally protected green areas)

The government is hiding and lying about scientific data, saying that environmentalists and NGOs are communists trying to destroy the nation. They are brainwashing people to think that sustainability is terrible for the economy

Our Minister of Environment is couldn't care less about the environment and is only there to support the livestock producers and give them what they want. The President and his Minister won't put a single dollar on environmental safety

The wildfires are just so huge that its black smoke and ashes reached the skies of São Paulo, a state over 2.000 kilometers away from the Amazon.

We are hostages or our own government

I could just keep going all night about how our environment is being threatened by this new government. We need every single help we can possibly can.

Please don't let this go unseen. Search for yourself, talk to people about it, make noise, be angry and be scared. Let the world know about it and demand action. This is not about Brazil, is about the planet. The Amazon Rainforest is one of the most important biomes in the world, being responsible for the climate, rains, biodiversity, carbon sequestration and life itself.

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confusedbluewolf

6 years ago

hi! Your notes are really helpful so thank you. Anyway, I've unsure of my sexuality and im really unsure if it's a phase or not. Any tips?

My dear lgbt+ kid,

Being unsure is natural and normal. Everyone who identifies as lgbt+ has felt unsure at one point. It’s a road of discovery for everyone and sometimes the road is a long and bumpy one - and that’s okay!

- Give yourself time. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s okay to not know. You may have heard stories from people who “always knew”. Don’t let that confuse you. While there are people who knew from a early age on and their experiences are valid, it’s in no way a requirement for being lgbt+ to have “always known”. Don’t rush, you have plenty of time to learn about yourself. You’ll figure it out!

- Learn about different labels. You don’t need to know every single term and what it means. But it can be helpful to read lists with explanations of different identities. You’ll find those floating around tumblr or on lgbt+ websites and even Wikipedia has them. This can be especially helpful if you feel like you don’t fit in either of the “big two”, gay or straight. Maybe you’ll read the explanation of one term and it’ll instantly “click” but even if not, it’s always helpful to know what a beautiful diversity exists in this world!

- Talk to supportive people. Tumblr can be a wonderful place for that. It’s often helpful to talk to people who identify as lgbt+ (especially if there’s that one label you think you might be - people who proudly identify with that label are often more than willing to help clear up any questions you might have!) Important: Ask others for advice, not for solutions. Only you can know for sure who you are and which label is right for you.

- Allow yourself to “play” and experiment. You don’t have to choose a label and stick with it right away. You can “try on” a label (even without coming out - just using it in your head). If it doesn’t fit, you’ll notice!

- Be gentle with yourself. This is the most important advice. Don’t beat yourself up. No matter which label you ultimately decide fits best (if you want to choose a label at all), you are wonderful and you are important and you are real. If you find you’re actually straight, you’re wonderful and it was in no way wrong to wonder if you are not. If you find that you are lgbt+, you’re wonderful and it was in no way wrong to wonder if you are. So, relax and take care of yourself and be patient and loving with yourself.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Mom

PS: I have a “Questioning” tag where you may find some helpful posts!

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confusedbluewolf

6 years ago

“I’m a doctor. We get all the glory. And credit. And guess what? We only deserve part of it. I started out in medicine in the mid-80′s, volunteering at an ER. And the biggest shock to me was learning how much of what happens in a hospital is nurse territory. Doctors will see you anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes a day, depending on how sick you are. And the rest is the nurses. They’re the ones making sure you get your pills and checking that your vital signs aren’t dropping. They make sure you don’t fall down and break something. If you start vomiting, doctors will run out of the room and the nurses will rush in. They change your wound dressings and start your IV line. They’ll bring you a warm blanket. And clean disgusting things off you. Even if you’re drunk. Or delirious. Or mean. And through all of this they try be friendly and positive. Even though you aren’t their only sick patient. I respect nurses. I learned early on that they’re key to being a good doctor. You piss off the nursing staff, and you’ll have a miserable career at that hospital. Respect and treat them well, and you’ll never regret it. They’re as important to being a good doctor as your medical degree. Maybe more. If you come out of medical school with a chip on your shoulder against nurses, you better lose it fast. Because they will make or break your training, and often know more than you do. Be nice and they’ll teach you. A good neurology nurse is often a better inpatient neurologist than some doctors I’ve met. I remember a guy named Steve, who was an intern with me a long time ago. We were only a few months out of medical school, and as we were writing chart notes one morning a nurse came over and asked if he’d go listen to his patient’s heart. With icy contempt, and not even looking up from the chart, he said “I don’t have to listen to his heart, because I looked at his EKG.” They ain’t the same thing, dude. If he’d listened he might have noticed that the patient had developed a loud murmur in the last 24 hours. When the attending caught it a few hours later, Steve got chewed out. If he’d taken the nurse’s advice, and listened, he wouldn’t have gotten reprimanded by the residency board. Here’s a quote from “Kill as Few Patients as Possible” by Oscar London, MD: “Working with a good nurse is one of the great joys of being a doctor. I cannot understand physicians who adopt an adversarial relationship with nurses. They are depriving themselves of an education in hospital wisdom.” Those doctors are also depriving themselves of friends. On a difficult day on call, sometimes all it takes is a sympathetic nurse to temporarily add you to her patient list, steal you a Diet Coke from the fridge, and let you cry on her shoulder for 5 minutes. It doesn’t make the day any less busy, but helps you absorb the punishment better. What got me started on this? While I was rounding this weekend, a grateful patient’s family brought the ICU nurses a box of donuts, and so the staff was picking through them. One said, “Oh, this kind is my favorite, it has cream filling.” And a patient in one of the rooms yelled, “Hey, babe, I got my own kind of cream-filled dessert in here! Come have a taste!” You say that to a waitress, and you’d likely get your kicked out of the restaurant. You say that to a co-worker, and you’d be fired and/or sued for harassment. You say that to a lady in a bar, and you’ll likely get a black eye. And what did the nurse do? In spite of the patient said, she went in his room, turned off his beeping IV pump, and calmly told him that he would not talk to her that way. And I admire that. Nursing is a damn tough job. And the people who do it are tougher. And somehow still remain saints.”

—

Angela Ar (via

theitunurse

)

This makes me feel good.

(via adenosinetriesphosphate)

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confusedbluewolf

6 years ago