This Fic Has Some Banger Fucking Lines I Almost Couldn’t Pick One

⚠️MARAUDERS FANS⚠️

we've had the Marauders, we've had the Valkyries, we've had the Slytherin Skittles, now i present...

✨THE PERFUME POSSE✨

(aka the IT blondes of ravenclaw tower + our boy peter)

People: Peter Pettigrew, Gilderoy Lockhart, Rita Skeeter, Emmeline Vance, Xenophilius Lovegood, Pandora Rosier

Lore: Based on the Gilderat ship, the Perfume Posse consists of the IT BLONDES of Ravenclaw tower. Rita Skeeter started a school newspaper for Hogwarts called The Acid Zine: An A-Z on all of Hogwart's gossip. Gilderoy is her top editor and Ravenclaw liaison. He eventually teams up with Peter who, due to his ability to turn into a rat, is excellent at secretly getting gossip from all around the school. Xeno and Pandora are good friends with the others and constantly have to listen to Gilderoy complaining about Peter (they are definitely in love). Emmeline thinks they're all a little silly, but she rooms with Rita and Pandora, so eventually ends up befriending all of them. They are the bitchy gossips who have the entirety of Hogwarts wrapped around their finger because who is gonna mess with the people who could expose your greatest secrets? The Perfume Posse naturally get their name from the Gilderat lore, where Gilderoy becomes well known for smelling amazing. All of the perfume posse have their own signature scent, the brand of which is their closest guarded secret.

Bingo

Made a Peter Pettigrew kinnie bingo !! Enjoy !!

Everyone but James

for science

what song would you want played at your funeral

I choose you by Alessia Cara

The words 'yeah yeah yeah' and 'bro' have been forcefully injected into my vocabulary, and I don't even know where from. :|

Peter with Narcolepsy and Partyvan. Evan and Barty are so good at keeping track of his symptoms and when he's about to have an episode. A big symptom of his is his loss of muscle control. He'll be laughing and suddenly falling onto Barty who was usually more prepared to handle his entire body weight. It doesn't happen often enough for it to be an issue, but they're always on the look out for it.

Once he fell asleep on his broom thankfully he wasn't very high in the air when it happened, and he floated down like a leaf falling from a tree. Thankfully Evan was there when it happened and allowed Peter to use him as a pillow until his episode was over.

Another symptom he has occasionally is hallucinations before he falls asleep for the night, dreaming already and he'll imagine someone in the corner watching him. And Remus is the only marauder he trusts not to play a prank on him and ask if it's really there. And Remus is very gentle and patient in assuring that it's not there.

Anyway! Peter with narcolepsy.

honestly i love that. i have never consider it but i love all the same.

could see people who don't know about Peter's condition lazy and stuff and then there's Barty and Evan cursing them out because Peter's already having a hard time, he don't need this placed on top of him either.

I don't doubt that Barty and Evan will take turns walking around the castle with him just to make sure he's oaky. Peter finds it a little suffocating but they have good intentions, there have been way to many close calls for rosekiller to ever leave Peter alone for longer than necessary.

Remus taking extra notes and studying one on one with Peter because he doesn't want to fall behind on his classes (Remus way of making it up for all the full moon notes he gets)

WAIT because Barty would totally carry a sleeping wormtail to all his classes, (Peter was sent to the infirmary but he felt lonely and decided to hang out with one of his boyfriends for the day, Barty and Evan pass him around when they run into each other.)

PARTYVAN!! 🫶

they're all in the same economics class and are made to do a joint project with each other. evan sits there, waiting for the others to do everything. barty has already planned the whole project. peter uses chat gpt to pretend like he's actually working (barty removes all of his input anyway).

they all very much like this method of group work (barty getting exactly his way and getting to do everything himself and evan and peter not having to do anything but still getting credit) and become friends, hanging out after the project is finished.

barty and evan get together first, evan introducing him to his little tory society which barty joins and they begin secretly dating. peter ends up hooking up with barty, and barty doesn't tell evan that he cheated on him. peter then meets up with evan for drinks one day and tells him about his hookup with barty. evan then proceeds to hook up with peter as a payback. barty and evan keep cheating on each other with peter whilst peter has realised the two are secretly dating and loves the fact they're cheating on each other with him.

If

James=sun

Regulus=water

Lily= flower

is Jegulily= Photosynthesis ?

actively going insane as we speak. i wish and crave a physical copy of sssbmty but i have a grand total of 0 book binding skills. everyday i suffer with the fact that i can NEVER own a physical copy in my own two hands. its devastating. i can feel my soul crushing in on itself as it realizes i will never feel the pure bliss of reading sssbmty on smooth paper. i cry and scream and beg the gods to give me the skills and supplies i require to forge my own book, yet wilt and crumble in the cold, empty response they give.

"NO" they shout.

"YOU MUST NEVER EVER BE GIVEN WHAT YOU NEED FOR THIS TASK" they cry out, knowing i will be finally happy if given what i crave.

"PLEASE" i scream into the void, "I WILL WORK WITH THE BARE MINIMUM !! I NEED IT PLEASE !!"

they stare at me, a cold piercing look that travels through my spine as i realize what choice they have already decided, tears well up in my eyes and i collapse onto the rocky ground, all fight leaving me.

"WE HAVE DECIDED TO NEVER EVER LET YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT. YOU WILL WASTE YOUR GOLDEN YEARS TRAVELING, LOOKING FOR WHAT YOU DO NOT HAVE. SPEND YOUR LATER YEARS IN DESPAIR AS YOU SLOWLY REALIZE YOU WASTED SO MUCH OF YOUR LIFE FINDING THE UNACHIEVABLE. AND YOU WILL DIE COLD ALONE WITHOUT ANY BOOK TO SHOW FOR WHAT YOU SUFFERED YOUR WHOLE LIFE FOR!!" they shout, their voices echoing in my head as i cry and cry, choking on sobs as the despair slowly sinks in.

their godly presence slowly ease out of my mind. i am left gasping and sobbing in the middle of my bedroom, feeling completely hollow as the utter rejection from the gods sink in, everything i have ever and will ever dream of.....

...

..

.

No.

i wont let this be.

i WILL find a way to get this book in my hands.

i will.

...Babe are you ok??? What the fuck??????

A happy and crazy black family au

where despite their faults love eachother and love to joke around.

They love that remus is a wearwolf.

Euphemia and walburga have tea and go shopping at least 5 times a month, they became friends after prongsfoot.

None of them are hetero.

They basically adopted peter, barty, evan, and pandora bc their home lives suck.

They have tons of bets going around, peter keeps track of them all.

They blend their japanese and indian cultures really well and always try to celebrate together.

When orion finds out about the lupins locking remus up in chains and their general attitude towards his lycanthropy he chews them out to hell and declares that remus is spending all full moons with them, they own a large forest covered in wards so the boys can play safley.

When lily is introduced she feels insecure due to her sister's taunts and her calling lily a wh*re, but they all like her immediately and think shes good for the boys.

Fleamont and Walburga are so bad at cooking that their completely banned from stepping into the kitchen, they don't even have to touch anything for something to go wrong.

Sirius inherited walbugas temper but regulus inherited orions pettiness.

The Blacks have no serious qualms against murder and the potters are loyal to a fault.

The day bellatrix came home after rita betrayed her for a job in the daily prophet to tells lies about the black family and then proceed to break up with her after, bella was in tears and begged the family to forgive her, that day the entire black family swore to make skeeter pay in ways she couldnt even imagine.

The blacks belive in power over blood tourjus pur to them means that their power is always pure and strong thats why they encourage the kids to be as crazy as they want as long as they also act in a way befitting their status and prestige.

The myth about no one being able to name their child after a star/constalation if their not a black comes from people trying to in the early 1900s as a sign of prestige put sadly all these children died befor the age of 3, it actually wasn't because of the blacks and was just a sicknes going around that was particularly harmful to children, but the stigma stayed and none of the blacks had any reason to dispel the rumors.

When ted and andromeda got together the family was weary because he was both a muggleborn and a british wizard so the were concerned he would insult/disrespect them or that he just wasnt worthy of her in general but after 2 months of stalking, scrutiizing and trying to scare him off they realized that despite his heritage he was still an ambitious person who wasnt scared of cutting down people who purposely get in his way and was also very good at talking around and subtlety manipulating people wile also being incredibly kind and also having a strong sense of family loyalty befitting a spouse of The Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

Peter Reguls and Orion spend the most time in the library learning, studying and debating over ancient magics and civilizations, they were onced locked in there without food or water for 2 and a half days and didn't even notice.

Remus likes going in there from time to time but most of the things they talk about confuse him too much so he mostry spends his time reading in the garden while pandora and evan take care of it. Pandora can also study and debate with them but she prefers being in the sun.

Bellatrix and barty get along like a house on fire and when sirius get involved all hell brakes loose.

pandora and peter like to talk about bugs together and sometimes fleamont gets them sample to study.

While no one can see the things pandora sees, ephie is skilled at sensing and seeing magic for short periods of time due to her magic sensitivity, and when pandora is feeling frustrated at the fact no one can see the things she does ephie is always ready to talk her through it. Orion is also good for her during these episodes because of his calm demendor soothing voice, and his relaxing and steady magic