U Have An Onlyfans?

I'm cold. That's it. That's what I've been feeling all day.

Aww, maybe you should drink a cup of hot chocolate. That always warms me up!

I have this theory that you're bipolar. Mainly cause when you go from being cheery to angry and petty quick. Every time the kids say something annoying you snap at them. When Augustus fell in your chocolate river you looked mad and like you didn't give a fuck then when the sucky thing sucked him up you had a smirk on your face and didn't do anything cause you wanted to see what would happen. You could've easily told your oompa loompas to get him out. You seemed like you really tried to warn all the kids except Augustus. Is it because he's fat? At the beginning of the tour you sarcastically body shamed him. You lowkey got a dark side lol

I don't understand anything you're saying. Each child was a complete brat and their parents were equally irresponsible for contributing to their kid's downfall, a lack of discipline, parenting and all that stuff.

Example, Augustus and his mother are the same size, if you get what I'm saying. If she had told him to put down a cookie or two years ago then maybe he wouldn't have been so tempted and greedy at the factory. And I was the true victim here, I had to drain my poor chocolate river and replace all the contaminated chocolate. That cost me a lot of money. So I don't want to hear about how I'm such a terrible person for supposedly taking a little pleasure in their pain.

You gotta teach me your petty ways so I can have sassy and mean clapbacks ready like you do, cuz from what i seen you win fights with ease 💀

Of course! It's all about sarcasm, delivery and wordplay. But this isn't something that everybody can do, see you gotta have the sass and be able to execute it perfectly. ☝️

Tell her it means she got a yeast infection lol

If a girl's coochie smells like tuna fish is that bad for men? Asking for a friend 😅😐😶🤐

I think m-maybe that's a q-question for your gynecologist, dear girl.

...Heh...yeah. Gynecologist.

I'm not a doctor. I'm a chocolatier. I make chocolate. 'Kay?

What do your uh, Oompa Loompa workers do when they're not working son?

Oh, hi, dad! When the Oompa Loompas aren't working they're usually down in the Disco room dancing (as shown below), playing games and having drinks. Or in the cafeteria eating, or in their own room assorting their delicious cocoa beans! Most of the time, you'll find them in the Disco room spinning around, breaking it down and such. Some of them have learned a new dance called twerking, or something that they showed me. It's basically booty girating. They just love music. ☺️

Aawww

You can't just give one of your followers a cute nickname and not the rest of us that's not fair 😔

But I called you all chocolate chips earlier, is that suddenly not good enough?

But why not just follow us? I want to be followed dammit -pouts- >:3

Because if I follow you now then I run the risk of not liking you later, for whatever reason. And if I decide that I don't care for you later then I'll have to unfollow you. The much easier fix is to just not follow at all.

And don't worry, it's not just you or anything I have against you. I just don't follow anyone back cause people aren't my thing.

Lmfao

Misfits (2009–2013) cr. Howard Overman

Lies you tell

trans women are stunning and inherently sexy actually

That nickname makes my soul melt somehow.

So, I'm just gonna stick around then, ask you weird questions, leave to get some ice cream from time to time, and give you my unshared platonical love and adoration!

Terrific then! Do stick and around and pick my brain from time to time, I'm sure I'd enjoy it, or at the least, be thoroughly amused. I hope that ice cream you're occasionally buying is non-melting and Wonka brand, by the way. For the sake of my own pleasure I'll just assume it is! ☺️