I’ve Recently Discovered That Doing Self Care/maintenance Tasks Is Way Easier When You Personify The

look at this thang

[x]

A Secret History, otherwise known as what the fuck Richard

(the last few bullet points will be talking about CSA so if that triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, don't read this)

Hi pookies, sorry for being awol, I've been prepping for finals, as well as annotating a secret history, and I had some thoughts I felt like sharing.

first of all fuck Henry

Bunny being the one to say " to live forever" is the definition of being doomed by the narritive

there is no version of the story where bunny lives, and by him being the one who says that, is in a way a challenge to Henrey

Richard opens the book by claiming to be a good liar, and in every situation where he lies he does it horribly is the funniest thing ever

Henry was a budding serial killer, and I think that by the simple fact of giving poor Charles those pills

I also don't think Bunny was as bad as the group made him out to be. Richard is obviously a self-admitted unreliable narrator, but I really don't think Bunny was as bad as they were making him out to be

sure he was probably really annoying, but the week before his death I don't think he was being purposely antagonistic but acting afraid

and in a sense when Richard found out about the murder, that was bunny signing his death certificate.

i think Henry was always going to kill Bunny, he was just waiting for a good enough excuse

when Jullian left Henry started decompensating like a serial killer, and that's why he lost control when talking to Charles

and while it is clearly the best choice to send Fransis to the police, Henry tells Charles to go because Charles is easy to manipulate

i think Fransis is obviously disalutioned by Henry from the beginning of the book, while Charles and Richard were still drinking the Kool-aid

Camilla is obviously romantisized by Richard, and I think that in all reality he probably viewed women in a simmular way Bunny did

in Camilla's descriptions she is often barefoot, and he makes note to mention that during the act of the murder she wasn't present

he also compares most women to Marion a person he thinks is too stupid and girly

people forget how physically imposing henry is, by Richard describing him it almost infantilizes him, in a way.

he is physically imposing which made him look odd, but he lifted camila with great ease, and lifts weight despite is limp

i think he hurt camilla by pulling out her hair, and hurting her wrist

i feel bad for bunny because while he was teetering over the edge he must have been so afraid

richard and henry could have been the same under slightly different circumsances

camilla is not as oblivious to things as people belive she is, obviously she is a victim, but the narrative implies that she is for lack of a better term, not completely innocent

she is a victim of her circumstances, but not completely innocent

richard clings to the group because they are every thing he wanted to

henry killed himself to achieve some fucked up version of godhood.

fransis is the most complex character because by the end of the book we feel bad for him despite taking advantage of 2 of the other characters in the book

he is also clearly in love with Charles but yk

CSA TW BELOW

okay so i think its pretty clear that Charles is a CSA victim

he very clearly has an eating disorder, and a alcohol problem which Fransis exacerbates by getting him drunk and hooking up with him frequently

not only that but he is really dependent on his friendships and is constantly paranoid that they are talking about him, but needs constant reassurance like a child

but also when bunny is making digs at the group, he starts talking about the preversions of the catholic church, i don't think that group cared, nor do i belive that any of them are particularly religious, but I do belive that Bunny was making a dig about Charles being molested by a preist

and if that's the case than his ultimate outcome makes the most sense,

that also makes sense why he would frequently sleep with camilla and fransis

feel free to message me so we can chat about it... this book has recently become my greatest obsession, or we can chat in the comments.

Why You Should ‘Make Yourself’ Write (And How To Do It)

Most people who write for a hobby - especially the neurodivergent crowd - will write whenever they’re inspired, and many will be able to get an insane amount of writing done in one go, but then there’s a good while of writer’s block and low motivation/inspiration in between those bursts of creativity. You can see forcing yourself to write as something irrelevant to you; it’s just a hobby, so why burn yourself out forcing yourself to do it until it’s no longer fun?

The reason people say this, even for hobbyists, is so that you have some level of consistent progress; relying on random spikes in creativity or convenient hyperfocus isn’t a sustainable plan when it can either leave you burnt out after or leave you at a creative dead end for weeks or months between actual writing sessions

If you write consistently, you make progress consistently, so it’s good practice to make a habit out of using writing goals to keep you on track. Maybe you work best writing X amount of words, or maybe you prefer to write for X amount of time. Maybe you want to meet this goal every day, or maybe every few days, or maybe every week, or so on. I’m personally on 1000 words per week, and despite my autistic brain that thought I’d never be able to set and keep a consistent goal, I’ve been able to stick to it for nearly six months now. I also know people who are on 10 minutes per day, 100 words per week, 500 words every three days, 5000 words per month, etc

For me, being able to keep track of this not only means I get to see consistent progress being made, but it’s actually been really encouraging to see that word count go up so often and I’ve found that it motivates me to keep up with it. I’ve really enjoyed getting to work on this and having a minimum amount of progress per week really helps me feel like this is something real and something that’s slowly but surely going to be complete soon enough

Give it a try; say to yourself “if I want to achieve this goal, how long do I reasonably need to give myself to do it?” and have a go. After a few cycles it starts to register in your brain that, hey, you’re actually getting something done and being productive and watching that word count going up every day/week/etc! And don’t be afraid to change up your goal and your deadline if you think you’re not being challenged enough or if you’re starting to get burnt out on it - I’d consider it burning out when it’s consistently feeling less like a fun activity and more like a chore you have to do. It should still be fun!

sorry for romanticising the mundane. i have little else

The weirdest instance of “getting my wires crossed” I’ve ever experienced: I had a piece of candy at my desk. My intention was to simultaneously eat the candy and start a brief work task. I put the candy in my mouth and felt a surge of alarm as I was convinced, for a fraction of a second, that I had somehow eaten the task I was about to start.

Don’t fall into the perfectionist trap! The best thing you can do for yourself is the first something.

you don't need to spend hours crafting a perfect diet with balanced macros - just have a fruit or veg with your meal

you don't need to get the newest water bottle - drink a glass of water right now

you don't need to have an elaborate skincare routine with expensive products - wash your face and put on some spf before going out today

you don't need the big life-changing day 1 - just do something right now, I promise you will feel better

ᴛɪᴘꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀꜱ [ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀ]

don't let your skill in writing deter you. publishers look for the storyline, not always excellent writing. many of the greatest books came from mediocre writers—and also excellent and terrible ones.

keep writing even when it sucks. you don't know how to write this battle scene yet? skip ahead. write [battle scene here] and continue. in the end, you'll still have a book—and you can fill in the blanks later.

find your motivation. whether it's constantly updating That One Friend or posting your progress, motivation is key.

write everything down. everything. you had the perfect plot appear to you in a dream? scribble down everything you can remember as so as you can. I like to keep cue cards on my nightstand just in case.

play with words. titles, sentences, whatever. a lot of it will probably change either way, so this is the perfect opportunity to try out a new turn of phrase—or move along on one you're not quite sure clicks yet.

explain why, don't tell me. if something is the most beautiful thing a character's ever laid eyes on, describe it—don't just say "it's beautiful".

ask for critique. you will always be partial to your writing. getting others to read it will almost always provide feedback to help you write even better.

stick to the book—until they snap. write a character who is disciplined, courteous, and kind. make every interaction to reinforce the reader's view as such. but when they're left alone, when their closest friend betrays them, when the world falls to their feet...make them finally break.

magic. has. limits. there is no "infinite well" for everyone to draw from, nor "infinite spells" that have been discovered. magic has a price. magic has a limit. it takes a toll on the user—otherwise why can't they simply snap their fingers and make everything go their way?

read, read, read. reading is the source of inspiration.

first drafts suck. and that's putting it gently. ignoring all the typos, unfinished sentences, and blatant breaking of each and every grammar rules, there's still a lot of terrible. the point of drafts is to progress and make it better: it's the sketch beneath an oil painting. it's okay to say it's not great—but that won't mean the ideas and inspiration are not there. first drafts suck, and that's how you get better.

write every day. get into the habit—one sentence more, or one hundred pages, both will train you to improve.

more is the key to improvement. more writing, more reading, more feedback, and you can only get better. writing is a skill, not a talent, and it's something that grows with you.

follow the rules but also scrap them completely. as barbossa wisely says in PotC, "the code is more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules". none of this is by the book, as ironic as that may be.

write for yourself. I cannot stress this enough. if what you do is not something you enjoy, it will only get harder. push yourself, but know your limits. know when you need to take a break, and when you need to try again. write for yourself, and you will put out your best work.

hi! if you’re feeling especially depressed, or anxious during these times, or just in general, i’ve compiled a list of things that are sweet and hopeful and might help you smile!

tumblr posts

How To Feel Again by @wowanothered

make a Hot Honey Drink with @fierybluebeacon 

love is via @battlechick

little notes for when you’re sad by @flowerais

asks

Make Me Admit Stuff by @jreadhd

Lighthearted Questions by @definegodliness

Soft, Stay At Home Ask Game by @serotoninsuggestion

Let’s Get Personal by @castielwinchester83

Fantasy Asks by @spectral-ask-memes

Flower Asks by @thatsthepositivitea

videos

Some Good News with John Krasinski

Reasons To Smile by Thomas Sanders 

Homemade with Steven Lim

Ambient Worlds (a channel dedicated to the background music of different places you’ve wanted to visit, i.e- each Hogwart House common room, Disney World, etc.)

Walkthrough Disneyland

books

Tea Dragon Society: Katie O’Neill (cute graphic novel about tea, and dragons)

Extra Yarn: Mac Barnett (a cute picture book about a little girl and her magic yarn)

The Astonishing Color of After: Emily X.R Pan (YA novel about grief, and love)

All Out: Sandra Mitchell (short story collection about LGBTQIA+ characters)

Counting By Sevens: Holly Goldberg Sloan (a middle grade novel of grief and family)

The Prince and the Dressmaker: Jen Wang (an adorable YA graphic novel with a non gender conforming character, and a soft, teen love story, set in the middle ages time period, with loads of lovely dresses and magic~)

Winnie The Pooh: A.A Milne (we all know our beloved winnie the pooh)

The Hidden Life of Trees: Peter Wohlleben (a rly interesting nonfiction book about trees and how they communicate)

Bloom: Kevin Panetta (a soft, cute, gay graphic novel love story)

movies

any Studio Ghibli film

the classic, animated Winnie the Pooh 

any old, animated Disney movie

Legally Blonde, 2001 dir. Robert Luketic

Miss Congeniality, 2000 dir. Donald Petrie

High School Musical (we all know the one)

Princess Diaries, 2001 dir. Gary Marshall

Wall-E, 2008 dir. Andrew Stanton

shows

The Good Place

New Girl

Schitt’s Creek

One Day At A Time

Hilda

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts

Merlin

podcasts

Welcome To Nightvale 

The Two Princes

activities

pick and press flowers

heres some basic homesteading skills that are pretty fucking cool via @martinihomestead

knit/crochet (same link as ^)

read 

(heres another link for free books and essays from @diabeticlesbian)

listen to music (links via @vivienvalentino)

bake

cook

art things with @artsyskelly

redo your room

sketch

learn a new language

lie on the floor with your window open and listen to the world

read through wikipedia articles

host an online game night/day

get ahead on schoolwork

say fuck this and go on a run

make tea

make face masks

sew

plant shit

make a discord server

generate cool mansions/cities via @mostlysignssomeportents and @vesperlionheart

yoga

water your plants

create an oc with @kannibalprinceref

paint by numbers

call someone and either talk, or watch something together, or do your own thing, still on the call, as if they were with you

clean

write letters and save the USPS

catch up on the news (but in bursts, perhaps find some good news too)

make sidewalk art

talk to your plants

play a boardgame with someone (online or with the people you’re living with)

clean out your room

make your room/house into a place you feel safe

dance

write a song

write a story

(writing prompts via @veronicabunchwrites)

call someone

learn to play DnD

paint your nails

paint someone else’s nails

go adventuring

make a youtube channel

make a podcast

talk to yourself

learn to bake bread

garden

paint your room a new color

lie on your floor

lie in bed

sleep

watch a crappy free movie on youtube and make fun of it

exercise (but stretch first)

go on a walk and take pictures of things you think your friends would like

scroll through social media and send things to your friends

cover your wall with pictures, quotes, artifacts

make lists

find a pen pal

clean shit

you dont have to be productive, babe

these are just things i’ve seen/read/thought of- so if anyone else wants to add on- pls do! 

this isnt complete! so pls add on things that help you feel good, or stuff for people to do whilst stuck in quarantine! 

Ultra-specific trope im thinking really hard about: When a character refuses to kill someone who asks them to, not out of righteousness or any care for the other person, but out of hostility or spite. No, I won’t give you what you want. I won’t let you escape this through death.

musings on may

Franz Kafka Diaries, 1914-1923 | Felix Vallotton, The Dordogne with Carrenac (1925) | Vera Brittain, “Because You Died: Poetry and Prose of the First World War and After” | Jin Xingye | Haruki Murakami, "Norwegian Wood" | Jin Xingye

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