Why Do I Feel Like This Needs To Be A Fic?

Mushy May, Day 5 (Animals) - Menagerie of the Damned

Inspired by Mushy May prompts by the fab @forlorn-crows. I'm a day late with this one but I'm a good Satanist and never follow the rules anyway...Also on my Ao3!

If you've ever been told it's "just a pet", Papa Primo has your back!

***

He had been sitting forlornly on the hard, wooden bench since the meeting ended. He should move really. His ass had gone distinctly numb and such a public display of weakness wasn’t fitting for someone who was about to become the figurehead of the global Satanic Clergy. He knew he must look a sight, his face blotchy and as red as his scarlet cassock. And yet his grief kept him here, weighed down like a stone in the stream of busy people moving along the corridor.

“We must say goodbye and I do not think I know how to, little one,” Copiah sniffed, wiping away a stray tear with the end of his fascia and absently scratching between the ears of the nut-brown rat in his lap.

He knew Sister Imperator was right of course. The logistics of the tour would be complicated enough without having to factor in transporting Eliza with them; the hotels and tour buses they must use would see her as vermin, not as the beloved pet she was. And she was getting old, it wouldn’t really be fair on her.

The bench shifting next to him roused him from his musings, making him startle until he looked, bleary-eyed, into the kind face of his oldest brother, Primo.

“I never did care much for this hallway,” the retired Papa groaned as he stretched out his legs in front of him. “Too drafty. Which is probably not good for the little one, eh?” He held his hand out towards the rat, who cautiously climbed into his and regarded him with twitching whiskers.

“I don’t know that there is any place good for her anymore. I must find her a new home but…who will want her? She is not so young anymore…Who can I trust to take care of her?” Copia replied, attempting to disguise the way his voice cracked by clearing his throat. “Sorry, I…I am being silly.”

Primo nodded thoughtfully as he stroked the rat with a single finger. Eventually, he placed the creature on Copia’s shoulder and heaved himself to his feet with a huff. “I may have a solution. Come.”

The older man had started to head off down the corridor before Copia had a chance to ask a question or compose his tear-stained state. Sure, now he can be sprightly he grumbled to himself, struggling to catch him up down the corridor.

They walked through the endless, labyrinthine corridors until Primo led them out into the gardens, past the greenhouses where Copia assumed the man spent most of his retirement. He hadn’t seen this dark, tucked-away section of the grounds before though. When they reached a gate set into some tall hedges, he gave Eliza a fond pat to soothe himself as much as to reassure her, and finally interrupted his brother’s contented humming. It sounded suspiciously like All Things Bright and Beautiful. “Where are we going?”

Primo beamed as he opened the gate and waved for Copia to enter.

His eyes widened as he gazed at the scene before him. A huge circular space; a stunning meadow flower bed at the centre and outlined by ornate aviaries filled with plants and shrubs. The roof of each structure was the green hue of oxidised copper and reminded Copia of the gothic bandstands he’d seen in older parks. They even had the pre-requisite spooky ravens and crows scattered around their wrought gables. Some had open mesh walls while others were enclosed by glass or blacked out entirely.

“I do not know when this structure was first built. Probably back when collecting animals was fashionable. Humans have always sought animals – especially birds – a symbol of status. Of power,” Primo hummed as he started to walk a lazy circuit, stopping to peer in at the two barn owls perched in a distant corner of the first aviary. Copia placed a protective hand over Eliza, but the birds merely ruffled their feathers sleepily and resumed their daytime slumber. “I restored this place, but like our Abbey, I aimed to offer sanctuary to all who needed it. Especially those who’ve been harmed by our ridiculous superstitions.”  

“So, it’s like a menagerie of the damned?” Copia murmured, walking further along and taking in more owls, ravens and a raptor didn’t recognise. As his eyes adjusted to the gloom, he caught the amber gaze of a fox before it darted into the greenery.

His older brother chuckled. “You could say that I suppose. We leave the hatches open to allow the birds and bats to fly free. I think you’ll be more interested in what’s at the other end though,” he nodded for him to follow towards the enclosed area on the other side of the circle.

The balmy warmth hit them the moment the door opened. A Sister of Sin looked up and smiled, apparently in the middle of cleaning out a huge stack of cages where a dozen or so mice happily scampered about. “Sister Frances,” he nodded kindly.

After sitting subdued on his shoulder, Eliza suddenly perked up and began chittering loudly in Copia’s ear. He soon saw why. At the other side of the former aviary was a huge enclosure, filled with toys, scattered bedding and the curious faces of three other rats. “Oh!” he gasped, unable to resist moving towards them.

Sister Frances followed, opening the front and allowing the three of them to skitter up her arm, where they peered curiously at newcomers. “Cannoli, Cornetto and Confetti. Papa always did have a sweet tooth,” she grinned up at Primo before returning her attention to the rat on Copia’s shoulder. “And who is this?”

“A new resident, perhaps,” Primo said placing a hand on Copia’s other shoulder. “If you are happy for Eliza to come here, it would be our privilege to care for her. And you’re welcome to come and see her at any time.”

Copia’s momentary delight in the rats evaporated into the muggy heat of the small building and he felt his expression pinch again. His treacherous tears spilled down his cheeks before he could stop them. “Sorry,” he mumbled, averting his gaze away from Primo and the Sister. “You must think I’m a pathetic fool.”

“Of course not,” Sister Frances murmured kindly, holding out her arm for Eliza to climb up so she could sniff at the other rats. “It’s always hard to say goodbye.”

“Indeed, fratellino,” Primo sighed. “You think you are being silly but let me tell you…not so far away we have a space where we lay departed souls to rest and there are plenty of our animal friends there. Terzo’s cat, Morpheus for one. Even Secondo’s snake. He dug the grave himself. We are not Catholics; we do not deny our animal friends a soul. If you love another living being there is nothing trivial about that love, si?”

Copia nodded with a hiccup, watching as the Sister placed the rats in the enclosure. He managed a watery smile as the three of them showed Eliza around the toys and feeding stations, like little realtors bragging about a property’s granite countertops and fitted wardrobes. “She looks like she fits right in,” he mused.

“She does. She’s very welcome. And we will take excellent care of here, fratellino, I promise you.”

Because, I work in medical records and spend 75% of my time chasing down nurses.

Okay it was well past time to give Aether 🍌 his turn in the rainbow spotlight

Yay Rainbow Ghouls 🌈

❤️

🧡

💛

💚

💙

💜

🖤

⚪️

🌈

Ahhhh Aether might be my favorite maybe idk if you can tell… I really tried to love them all equally I swear!! But banana boy has stolen my heart 💛🥹

I hope you’re enjoying this still! Like last time, all photo credits go to their original owners, I just found them online

how are we holding up ghesties

Love that little green bean

silhouette

Idea: the ghouls all collectively deciding that Copia is too stressed and has been overworking himself, so they clear his schedule behind his back and force him to relax and take time for himself. Maybe with a cuddle pile at the end. :)

This is a perfect idea! Copia deserves some time off with his beloved ghouls and they will pamper the fuck out of him! He just needs a lot of convincing

Content: Weed use and some slightly spicy stuff in the end, but nothing too explicit :3 Also, some spoilers for Rite Here Rite Now

Word Count: 1856 (it turned out a lot longer than it should lol)

“Hey, Papa. Wake up. I need to show you something,” Mountain said, walking into Copia’s bedroom early one morning. 

Copia was barely awake, groaning as the ghoul opened the curtains, letting in the morning light. It was way too early.

“It’s so early, Mountain. Also, it’s Frater now. No need to call me…Papa. Let me sleep…,” he groaned, burying his face in the pillows. He didn’t want to be up. He had so much to do with his new role as head of the clergy and he wasn’t ready to face the day yet.

“You’re still Papa to us. Please, it’s important,” Mountain said, standing at the side of his bed and looming over him. Copia opened one eye, looking up at his ghoul before letting out a tired sigh.

“Just…un momento. Five minutes please,” he said, holding up four fingers. 

“Okay, Papa. I’ll wake you up soon,” Mountain said, stepping away from the bed with a knowing smile on his lips. Copia didn’t question it as he went back to sleep. 

Whatever the ghoul had planned could wait until later. He was going to have a long morning of paperwork once he had breakfast. No, he could just skip breakfast and get the work done early so he could make time for the many meetings in his schedule. 

Copia drifted in and out of consciousness until he was certain he had slept more than five minutes. He was getting a suspicious amount of sleep, but he was just so comfy and relaxed and he didn’t want to move. Too relaxed and comfortable…

“Cazzo! Mountain! How long has it been?” He exclaimed, opening his eyes and sitting upright in bed. 

The ghoul sat near the bed, scrolling away on his phone when Copia woke up. He simply smiled back at him, not looking concerned in the slightest.

“It’s been two hours, Papa. You needed the rest. Now, you get dressed in something comfortable and you can come with me,” the earth ghoul said, gesturing to his sweats that were laid out neatly next to him. 

Copia felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest with how fast it was beating. He had too many things to do and his ghoul let him sleep in of all days? This was outrageous.

“What’s the meaning of this, Mountain? Why haven't any clergy members come in asking for me?” He questioned, still not moving from the bed.

“Because you need a day off, Papa,” a voice said from next to him. 

Copia turned his head and let out an unmanly scream when he saw Swiss sitting next to him on the bed, grinning like an idiot. 

“Santa merda! When did you get here, Swiss?” He cried out, his hand going to his chest. The multi ghoul always had a habit of scaring him like that.

“I’ve been here this whole time, Papa. Gotta make sure you get some good sleep,” Swiss chimed, holding up two fingers. His eyes glowed a dark purple and Copia felt his comforting quintessence fill his mind.

He shook his head, his thoughts going to all the work he had to do now. His ghouls usually never were like this. What was going on?

“I gotta get to work,” he grumbled, getting up from the bed.

“No you’re not. We cleared your whole schedule for the day, Papa. You’re going to relax with all of us,” Swiss crowed.

Copia froze, looking from Swiss and then to Mountain who gave him a simple nod. This couldn’t be. He didn’t have time for a day off now. There was much to be done and so little time to do it. Was the rest of the ministry notified? That was all he really needed to know before accepting such an outrageous offer from his ghouls.

“Does…the rest of the clergy know that I will be taking the day off?” He asked.

“Of course! It took a lot of talking and some help from us quint users, but we managed to clear your schedule. Mountain also took care of your rats while you were asleep,” Swiss said.

Copia raised a brow at the mention of the quintessence being used on the clergy, but if they agreed to it, then it couldn’t be that bad. He sighed, looking over at his comfortable sweats. It had felt like an eternity since he last relaxed in those clothes. 

“I…guess…I will allow this once. What do you ghouls have planned?” He asked.

“Just get dressed and come with us, Papa,” Mountain said, his smile beaming.

Once Copia was dressed, his ghouls led him out of his room, through the church, and to the bath house. Copia had nearly forgotten the last time he went to the bathhouse. Most of the time, it was used by the siblings and the ghouls. 

Upon opening the bathhouse doors, excited voices filled the air when he saw his ghouls running to and fro with blankets and a huge assortment of sweet-smelling soaps and bath salts. The main bath was already ready, lavender steam rising into the air. 

The ghouls all froze when Copia stepped in, staring at him with wide eyes before they all smiled. Aurora was the first one to rush forward, giggling while holding a flower crown made from honeysuckle and lilies.

“You finally made it. Mountain said you slept in, but that gave us plenty of time to get everything ready. I made this for you, Papa,” the ghoulette chimed, standing on her tiptoes to place the flower crown on Copia’s head. He smiled and bowed his head for her, letting her place the sweet smelling crown on him.

“Thank you, mia cara. I appreciate it,” he said, turning his attention to the others who now surrounded him. Aurora chittered and rushed over to Swiss’s side who nodded at her before tousling her hair. 

“How long have you guys been planning this?” Copia questioned.

“I think it’s been over two weeks now. It was kinda hard with you being in charge and all, but we’ve seen how much you’ve been working and we wanted you to have a nice day off,” Cirrus explained, gesturing to the giant pool of water behind her. 

“So, you want me to bathe all day?” Copia chuckled. 

“Of course not, Papa. We have more planned for you once you’re done here,” Cumulus giggled.

“And are you going to tell me what you have planned?”

The ghouls chittered amongst themselves briefly before shaking their heads. Copia sighed, turning his attention to the bath. It looked incredibly inviting. It had felt like years since he took a relaxing bath like this. 

An idea soon came to him and he turned back to his ghouls who all stood at attention, eager to do whatever he pleased.

“Care to join your Papa?” He asked, taking his red hoodie off. 

“Of course! How else are we going to wash you, massage you, and take care of you?” Cirrus crowed as the rest of the pack began stripping off. 

Copia couldn’t help but stare at his magnificent ghouls, his cheeks growing warm. He grunted and tried to focus on undressing himself and once he had stripped, he stepped into the wonderfully warm bath. 

“Oh, that’s nice,” he murmured, easing into the bath and sitting down. His ghouls soon joined them. Rain was the first to get into the bath, the water ghoul completely submerging himself in a deeper part of the bath before swimming over to cuddle into his right side. 

“I picked out the best soaps just for you,” the water ghoul purred.

“And you made an excellent choice,” Copia cooed, brushing a thumb along the ghoul’s neck and lightly touching his gills. The water ghoul shivered under his touch and wrapped his cool arms around his middle. 

“And I picked out the bath salts, Papa,” Aurora chimed, sitting by his left and clinging to his arm. Copia turned his attention to the ghoulette who looked absolutely adorable holding his arm to her chest. 

“I have some snacks here for you. I’m sorry you missed out on breakfast, but we’ll be fixing something real good for you soon,” Cumulus cooed, bringing over a plate of pastries and fruits to him. Copia’s stomach grumbled at the sight of such a delicious treat.

“And I made sure the water was hot enough for all of us,” Dewdrop said, sitting by the edge of the pool and dipping his glowing hands into the water and making more steam. Copia sighed in content, relaxing into the bath more and thinking of how nice the fire ghoul’s hands would feel on his back. 

“You wanna get high now or later, Papa?” Swiss asked, wading over to sit next to Cumulus. Phantom was by his side, already taking a long drag off of a joint and looking like he was already on another planet. Copia sniffed the air and caught a whiff of the weed mixed in with the sweet smelling soaps. 

“Now,” he said.

Phantom nodded and lit the joint before handing it over to him.

“Grazie,” he said before taking a long drag of the joint. Copia’s eyes nearly rolled back in his head when the drug quickly took a hold of him. He hadn’t felt this good in such a long time. He leaned his head back and breathed out the smoke through his nose, watching it float around him before disappearing into the steam. 

“How do you feel, Papa? Good right?” Phantom asked.

“Amazing. Thank you all for…letting me have a day off,” he sighed, looking at each of his ghouls with a drunken smile. He was incredibly lucky to have such loyal ghouls there for him. 

“You know, since you’re in charge, you can take days off whenever you want and the ministry will listen. Just remember that, Papa. No one is gonna be mad at you,” Aurora said, pecking him on the cheek. She was right, but it was going to take a while to adjust to his new role. 

“And if anyone gives you shit, then we can eat them. Just give us the command,” Swiss purred, plucking a purple grape from Cumulus’s plate of snacks and squishing it between his claws before popping it into his mouth. 

“You’re absolutely right. I’m the big man now,” Copia said, spotting an apple slice and taking it.

“You sure are,” Rain crowed, his gaze going from the apple slice and then down. Copia noticed where he was looking and smirked as he took a bit of the apple. Knowing his ghouls, they wouldn’t be leaving him alone all day and night. He looked forward to all the attention they would be giving him. 

“Is there anything else you need, Papa?” Aurora asked, wrapping her tail around his soft thigh, a playful smile on her pretty lips as she leaned in and nuzzled his chest. Rain did the same, purring loudly. Copia swallowed the rest of his apple, suddenly aware of how close his ghouls were to him.

“Ehh, I can think of a few things,” he said with a nervous chuckle.

Sometimes I feel that someone should do a welfare check on that guitar

it’s not even 8am why must you do this

MUSHY MAY 2024

DAY 20: GARDENING

1600 words

Phantom ghoul, mountain ghoul, Aurora ghoulette, Dewdrop ghoul, Cirrus ghoulette

Phantom and the others try to ease Mountain's stress by tidying his garden as a surprise but it doesn't go too well. Mush ensues.

Thanks goes out once again to @forlorn-crows for organising Mushy May, and also to @ghuleh-recs for making the pretty dividers 🖤🖤🖤

This ficlet was inspired by a real life scenario that happened to me just yesterday. Basically I'm Phantom 🤦

Read below or on AO3

A procession of six ghouls and ghoulettes trudged through the gardens towards the Abbey's greenhouses. They were dressed in their work gear, laden with tools and snacks and sharing banter under the late afternoon sun.

Phantom hadn’t spent too much time out here since he’d been summoned a couple of months ago for one reason or another, but he was looking forward to doing something nice for his pack mate Mountain.

The big earth ghoul had been so kind to him since he’d arrived in this strange place. It was so very different from the Pit that he’d grown up in and it was taking the young quintessence ghoul a long time to become accustomed to his new life here at the Abbey. Everything seemed to be a learning curve and Phantom often felt like a kit again when faced with the barrage of new experiences and challenges.

The rest of the pack had been supportive, of course, but Mountain especially had been very patient and understanding when Phantom messed up... Which pretty much happened on a daily basis.

He’d overheard a conversation in the common room between Cirrus and Rain. They were worried about Mountain. He hadn’t been himself lately, but Phantom wasn’t sure why.

He’d felt it from him too though. There was an innate sadness and a world weariness to him that seemed to be growing worse as the days went on. Nobody seemed to be able to figure out what they could do to help him.

The idea had been Dew’s, surprisingly. They’d all noticed the way that Mountain had been stressing about all of the springtime work that he had to do in the garden so Dew had suggested that they surprise him by going to tidy up the flower beds. If the pack did a little weeding and some of the tedious but essential maintenance jobs, then Mountain would be free to do what he loved best; planting. The garden was his pride and joy and this would hopefully take some of the pressure off him and make him more relaxed.

Swiss had been tasked with keeping Mountain distracted for a couple of hours while the rest of them got to work.

The pack reached the garden that stretched out along the long side of Mountain’s greenhouse and they made an organised pile of the things they’d brought, placing them carefully onto the wooden bench where Mountain often liked to sit and watch the sun rise.

Phantom had joined him in this peaceful activity on a regular basis when he’d woken from the nightmares that plagued him, panicked and gasping for breath. He would come aware to the comfort of a large body curled around him, kind words in his ear and calloused but gentle palms stroking soothing circles around his back.

Mountain would hold him until his heart had calmed and then lead him out into the gardens. Their morning ritual never failed to clear the fuzz from Phantom’s head and they’d sit quietly for a while, side by side, watching in comfortable silence as the dawn broke.

“Okay, if we pair up then this will work better. Cirrus and Rain, Phantom and Aurora, me and Cumulus,” Dew said, pointing to them all. “Is everyone okay with that?”

They all made noises of agreement and went off to the areas Dew had allocated to them.

Aurora put on the gloves she’d brought and handed a pair to Phantom. She looked around at their patch of garden and sighed.

“I don’t know why they put the two of us together. I’m guessing you’re just as clueless about Earth plants as I am? How are we supposed to know what isn’t meant to be here? This bit has been a bit neglected, hasn’t it?”

She was right. There were larger plants that clearly belonged, but the soil was filled with a variety of smaller, leafy plants too that could just as easily have been rare flowers as weeds.

Phantom huffed a laugh, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out the phone he’d been given by Papa.

“Secret weapon,” he said, holding it up. Aurora looked confused. “Google Lens. Rain showed it to me. You take a picture of something and then Google tells you what it is. That way, we’ll know what to keep and what to get rid of.”

She eyed the phone warily for a moment and Phantom grinned at her. He was confident that they’d be fine and his confidence must have rubbed off on Aurora because she shrugged, picked up a small trowel and knelt down in the dirt.

“Sounds good to me,” she said.

It didn’t take long to realise that the two of them made a great team. They used the phone plenty of times to check what they were dealing with and after a couple of hours they had cleared the area that Dew had given them to tidy.

The pile of weeds was bigger than Phantom had anticipated. It must have been a while since anyone had done anything in this part of the garden.

Dew wandered over to them carrying cups of juice.

“Refreshments,” he said as he handed them one each. He looked at the pile of weeds they’d gathered and raised his brows. “Wow, you two have been busy!”

Phantom grinned and he felt Aurora’s pride that the two newest members of the pack had done such a good job.

Cirrus came to join them but she took one look at the pile and cursed.

“Please tell me you guys didn’t just pull up any old thing without checking what it was?”

Phantom frowned.

“Well no, we used Google Lens to check them.”

Cirrus’ eyes widened.

“I don’t think Google Lens is very reliable, guys. Mountain has some hybrids and flowers that he’s spent years on and they probably couldn’t be identified with an app.”

Phantom’s stomach dropped and he heard Aurora whine beside him.

“I... We checked them! It said they were weeds!”

He could feel panic welling up, constricting his heart when he realised what they might have done. Mountain would be devastated when he saw it. He’d be so angry that all of his hard work had been ruined.

Cirrus crouched down and picked up some of the plants that had been pulled. Phantom watched in horror as the realisation dawned on her. She held up one of the green stems. It was broken in half.

“Sorry to say, but I think these are Mountain’s petunias.” She pointed to a bare patch of earth. “They should be there.”

Phantom’s heart picked up speed and the panic bubbled up further, twisting his guts and wringing them out.

Memories of his old life in the Pit threatened to overwhelm him. Something like this would not go unpunished there and Phantom found his instincts taking over as his rational thought processes began to fail.

He turned on his heel and ran.

___

The smell of blood broke him out of it and Phantom blinked, coming back to his senses. He was curled up in a recess of earth underneath a fallen log, arms wrapped around himself. Tremors wracked his body and a sting on his cheek made him remember falling and catching it, grazing the skin.

A twig snapped close by and Phantom’s head snapped up, wide eyes searching for the threat and landing on Mountain who was walking carefully towards him.

Phantom whimpered and cowered further back towards the bark of the trunk.

“Hey, bug,” Mountain said softly. “What’s all this about? The others said you ran off in a panic.”

Phantom shifted again, not daring to take his eyes off the other ghoul and trying to reach out with his quintessential self to read his emotions and give himself some kind of warning as to what his reaction was going to be.

“I... I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! We were trying to help out. It’s my fault, we should have asked the others. Please don’t be mad at Aurora.”

Mountain stopped a few feet away and put his hands on his hips. He tilted his head and frowned, kind eyes searching Phantom’s face. He sighed, coming to a realisation.

“I’m not angry, Phantom, not angry at any of you.”

Phantom concentrated on his emotions and sure enough, he didn’t sense any anger, only sadness and relief that he’d been found.

“You’re not?”

Mountain shook his head and smiled warmly.

“Of course not. It was an easy mistake to make. You weren’t to know. I’m sure we can replant some of them. Why don’t you come out and we can go back and give it a try?”

Phantom eyed him for a moment, feeling the last tendrils of panic letting go of his heart.

Mountain crouched down in front of him and held out his hand. Phantom inhaled a deep breath and took it. It was warm and it brought him comfort, chasing away any thoughts he’d had that Mountain would hurt him for doing something wrong.

The big ghoul pulled him to his feet and then let go of his hand. Phantom wrapped his arms around his torso tightly and looked up.

“We can plant them again?”

Mountain smiled and nodded.

“Sure thing, bug.” He slowly put an arm around Phantom’s shoulders and gently encouraged him to start walking. “Do you want me to teach you about the plants too? You can come and help me out in the greenhouses if you like? There’ll be plenty to do over the next few weeks and I could do with another pair of hands.”

Phantom grinned up at him, his heart swelling with relief and with joy that he could give Mountain something back after everything he'd done for him.

“I would absolutely love that,” he said as they headed back to the gardens.

Thanks for reading 🖤 check out my AO3 page for other Ghost band works 🖤

A Lack of Engagement Pt. 3: It Gets Worse

[Previous Chapter: Here. Morning regrets, and a search for dick... That's what we're working with here, expect no less.] Below the cut.

There's something uniquely mortifying about being caught jacking it, even if they are ghouls and they're all pretty open about their sexual escapades, this is a little different.

Rain can feel the building of his orgasm, much to his own horror, continue in spite of Dew standing in the doorway, staring!

He's just frozen there, eyeing Rain's dick with an expression he can't quite read, and then he opens his mouth and-

"Why is it blue...?"

-Rain gives a noise of distress, wanting to curl into himself and perish on the spot, but he can't stop himself from giving his cock one more tug, and somehow that's the one that does it.

He has to grip the counter to stop himself from toppling forward with the force of it, and Dew is definitely going to kill him for cumming in front of him like that!

Except he doesn't.

Dew doesn't make a move towards or away from him.

He lingers, and as Rain comes down from his high, he can see the other man's face growing pinker and pinker.

At some point, Dew holds his hands up, face beet red.

Rain tries to speak, but he's still reeling from his orgasm, and trying to breathe normally.

"Fuck..." he manages, "'m sorry..."

"...Your... Your..." Dew swallows, "I..."

They both stand there for a moment before Dew does something that makes Rain gape at him like a fish.

He shuts the door.

Closing them both inside the room.

Rain isn't sure what's about to happen, but the energy in the room has shifted in a strange way, and either Dew is really going to murder him or-

"...I mean, it's fine, right?" he says finally, "We're... married, so... We've probably..."

The kraken stirs.

"Dew, I don't-" Rain coughs, "-I don't think... Um... What're you doing?"

Dew has his thumbs hooked into his boxers.

"E-Eye for an eye, yeah?"

Rain wants to stop him, wants to grab his hands and stop him, but about partway through that thought, he dares a glance at Dew's crotch, and, well-

"...Oh my fucking god."

He's not sure what he expected to see Dew whip out, but this was not it.

It's about four inches long, flaccid, but wriggling with some interest as Dew takes it in hand.

"That's..."

A knock sounds on their bedroom door and Dew hastily packs himself away while Rain does similar, wiping his hands off on a nearby towel.

"Oi, lovebirds! You're gonna miss breakfast if you don't get your asses up!" Cirrus calls, then, after a pause, "...Don't hurry too fast though, Aether's teacing Aeon how to make pancakes, and I think I smell burning."

Rain and Dew share a look, considering.

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay...

"We're gonna pretend that didn't happen." Rain says finally, and Dew nods, "We've gotta... We've gotta focus up and figure out how to turn things back to normal and find the... giant metal penis."

Dew frowns, but nods his head regardless.

There it is again, that strange hesitance.

Rain wants to say something about it, but he also doesn't want to risk making Dew uncomfortable, although-

"I'm... I'm sorry you had to see my dick." Rain apologizes.

"No, no, I'm sorry I showed you mine!" Dew trills awkwardly, "Don't even... Like you said, let's pretend this all didn't happen."

"Right..."

Breakfast is... tense.

Tense, and burnt.

Aeon tried his best, but even with Aether's help, half the pancakes could be classified as briquettes, and Rain isn't sure if he can drown them in enough syrup to make them palatable.

Dew is struggling in his own way, trying to scoop up a wayward strawberry with his fork and failing miserably, until Rain jabs his fork into it and holds it up to his face.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" he asks the rest of the pack nonchalantly as Dew considers his angle of attack, popping the fruit into his mouth before going back to carving at one of his pancakes, which basically snaps under pressure from his knife.

"Ehn, there's a meeting going on with Copia and the rest of the clergy, something about changes to the hierarchy, but nothing that involves any of us at the moment." Aether explains, "Aside from our regular duties, our schedules are all fairly free for the next week or so until they get everything straightened out."

Rain hums and pokes at his breakfast.

"Maybe we could all watch a movie together??" Aurora suggests, the only ghoul actively crunching on the burnt pancakes, giving Aeon a thumbs up when he deposits more of his charcoal bits onto her plate, looking embarrassed, but proud, "Something scary!"

As others chime in with their assent, Dew nudges Rain under the table with his knee, prompting the water ghoul to give a little push back, the two bump each other back and forth for a bit before Rain notices their packmates looking back at them.

"What about you two?" Aurora asks, propping her head up on the back of her hands, "Unless you have other plans...?"

Dew opens his mouth, but finds himself at a loss for words, looking over at Rain, who thinks for a moment before shaking his head.

"We have a, uh," Rain rolls the word 'date' on his tongue, then eyes Dew.

"I don't want to ruin the surprise." he says finally, "He's been hounding me all morning about it, even broke into the bathroom to interrogate me about what I have planned!"

"I DID NO-" Dew balks, then remembers, flushing bright red, "...actually, yeah, I did..."

The table erupts into laughter, save for Rain, who silently thanks Dew for going along with what he said, because, well, it is the truth, albeit not all of it.

"Ohh~? Loverboy is finally making up for forgetting his hubby's birthday?" Swiss teases, pointing his fork at Rain, "Trying to win back those brownie points, huh?"

Rain blinks, sitting up straight.

"I did not forget Dew's birthday." he says, sounding very offended, "I took him t-"

He stops midsentence, slapping a hand over his mouth as he recalls how the two of them spent Dew's birthday this year.

It had been a special request from his friend that they not tell the others what they were getting up to that day, even if it wasn't anything outright embarrassing, Dew had been adamant that no one else know what their plans were for his birthday.

They'd gone to the aquarium, and had spent the entire day joking about which sea creatures they'd eat or had eaten, and at the end of the day, Rain had gifted Dew a marine biology textbook, since he'd been aching to learn more on a scientific level about the creatures they'd encountered.

Rain himself had purchased an octopus plush for himself, which was absurdly large and difficult to smuggle past the other ghouls to avoid suspicion, but worth it in the end, because it really did bring his room together...

"You took him where?" Swiss probes, watching Rain squirm under the attention.

He coughs into his fist and shrugs.

"Nothing." he says, "Just saying I didn't forget is all."

"Secrets, secrets are no fun, unless you sha-" Swiss starts to chant, but Dew shuts down the nonsense by scooting away from the table and standing up.

"Bathroom."

Rain blinks at him, "Oh, uh, alright-"

"You, too." he adds, grabbing him by the scruff.

"OOOOOOH~!" the other ghouls laugh, "Someone's in trouble~"

"...Shut up." Rain mumbles, letting himself be dragged away by the shorter man.

.

.

.

"So... *come* here often?" Dew jokes, and Rain almost chokes on his spit.

They're standing in Rain's on suite again, having decided, for whatever reason, that talking behind a door that literally does not work is better than standing directly in his -their- bedroom.

"Sorry, that was... Anyway, I wanted to discuss our game plan." he says after helping pat Rain on the back, "We have all week to work unimpeded looking for that statue, after that, it'll be difficult to find a spare moment where both of us can look for it together."

"Right... Even if we could look for it by ourselves, the magic only works if there's more than one person present... at least that's the theory we have going, yeah?" Rain concludes, and Dew nods, "That being said, so far, nothing seems out of place aside from, well, us."

"Us being a couple is a significant change, especially since, based on what I've seen on my phone, we've been together for a while now. Like, years." Dew says, slipping his phone out of his pants pocket, "...It'd be one thing if the statue bound us together with some stupid spell, but this is going too far..."

"I'm sorry." Rain apologizes, "I know being married to me is-"

"I mean, it's one thing to mess with our friends' heads and implant memories of a wedding that never happened, but, like, c'mon, let me remember this stuff, too!" Dew complains, startling Rain, who was not expecting this conclusion, "I kept looking through the pictures on my phone and I don't remember any of this, it's not fair, man!"

Rain tilts his head.

"You... want to remember... or, rather, you'd want the spell to make you think we've been married?" he tries, pursing his lips, "What?"

Dew freezes.

"I... Yeah... Maybe..." he rubs his arm, "It just feels... off... otherwise."

Rain feels an ache in his chest.

"Dew, do you... Are you saying..." he pulls back and sighs deeply, "Dew, you're my best friend. I love you, but I'm not in love with you."

"...Same... Same here." Dew replies, but he can't hide the brokenness in his voice, and Rain remembers then Dew's insistence on trying the statue again.

How he'd said they had to be serious.

...How the spell supposedly only worked if the pair before it were lovers.

But it had worked with them!

It had worked, and the statue had even called them out on it!

So...

Rain watches Dew wipe the corners of his eyes, trying to hide the hurt spilling from them.

...could it have worked because of something one-sided?

"I'm so sorry." Dew whispers, "I didn't... didn't want you finding out like this. Sorry, I... I'm sorry, this is how I feel."

"...I'm sorry, too."

.

.

.

The search for the statue is an awkward one.

Dew is still reeling from having his feelings exposed so easily, and Rain is in the midst of processing this new information, trying to figure out how he could have possibly lead the other on.

It's not that he doesn't find Dew attractive, or that they don't get along -they get along very well- and, sure, Rain did jack off to him this morn-

Rain feels a stirring inside of him again.

Goddammit, he thinks, is this part of the spell?

But...

As they browse the abbey's art collection for signs of one large dick, Rain finds himself thinking back on a lot of things.

This isn't the first time he's thought about Dew like that, but he's always managed to push those feelings down pretty well.

Somehow, it doesn't feel right that he's ONLY interested in Dew's body like that.

He likes Dew, he loves the guy, but... not romantically.

Does he very much want to fuck him though?

Yes.

And that's what has him shoving it all into the back of his mind.

Trying to at least.

It doesn't feel right that Dew LIKES him and that he just... he can't reciprocate it.

If he only wants Dew for his body, that's like a whole new level of leading him on.

Yeah, they're ghouls, they fuck around and move on, but things can get messy when feelings are involved.

Cirrus and Cumulus are a fine example of just that.

He cringes at the memories of their fights when they were together, how hard it had been for them to navigate the balance between the sexual freedom they both craved while being devoted to one another emotionally.

It was all a giant shitfest, until they stepped back and actually talked about what they wanted and realized they didn't click as well as they initially thought, and while they're happier than ever now... Rain can't put Dew through that.

But then again, who says monogamy is what the guy even wants?

They probably talked about all of this at some point, given their relationship status in this version of their reality, but it probably didn't happen over text, so fishing through his phone some more isn't going to help their situation.

He has to find that stupid fucking statue!

But...

Rain looks around the room, searching for Dew amongst the various artworks on display and comes up empty.

He feels a mild panic coming on when he sweeps his gaze over the room and, again, finds nothing.

"Dew??"

He looks left and right.

"Hey, hey, Dew, where are you??"

...He's gone.

Shit, shit, shit-

"I'm right next to you, you jerk." A familiar voice grumbles from beside him, and, upon looking down, Rain meets the disgruntled gaze of a very annoyed ghoul.

"Oh, shit, I-I didn't realize you were there-"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Let's just keep looking." Dew mutters, clearly unhappy, "Let's get this over with already."

"I..."

"...When we get back..." Dew says, "Don't talk to me."

"...For how long?" Rain frets.

"Forever if you want." he replies, hands in his pockets, "Since you're so tweaked out about shit, and this isn't something you get over in a day, or a week, or a year or whatever..."

"I can't just stop talking to you, you're my f-" Rain starts, but Dew cuts him off.

"Yeah, you're my friend, but you're already looking at me like I'm a freak because of how I feel, and I don't think I can come back from that, Rain." he places a hand on his chest, "Shit fucking hurts..."

"Dew..."

Shrimp and cheese tortellini...Not me practicing my meager cooking skills for when The Handmaid's Tale becames a reality. I'd rather be a Martha as I'm too old for babies.