Here's My Two Cents On That Whole Issue About Per. I've Been A Ghost Fan For Roughly 2 Years Now. Some

DO IT!

𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘺 𝘋𝘢𝘺 𝘛𝘦𝘯: 𝘘𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵 𝘕𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴

Rating: G Pairing: Mountain/Aether with brief appearances by Dew and Rain. Words: 750ish Using this one as an excuse to talk about the abbey library (since I wrote this while at the library it seems fitting). Mushy May brought to you by @forlorn-crows Divider by @ghuleh-recs

Aether loves the library after dark. When it’s been deserted by the day staff. Lights turned low. Doors left closed, but unlocked. He lets himself in after long shifts at the infirmary and wanders the stacks. It’s a way to decompress. Not that there is that much stress at the infirmary these days. Mostly he deals with colds, flus, sprains, stitches, the occasional baby. There was a time when trauma seemed to live in those walls. Where he would go in knowing he’d come home bloody. 

But lately, things have calmed down. Evened out. He likes it. He likes the abbey quiet and stable. He knows it won’t last forever–can’t. That something will happen, another power shift, and the whole place will turn itself upside down again. 

He’ll haunt the library then too.

He walks the whole library before he even thinks about a book. Weaving in between the tall shelves. Climbing the narrow stairs to the fiction section, lofted above stacks and stacks and stacks of history texts and dusty books about summonings. 

He looks down over the library, it’s dark wood, and vaulted ceilings, and plush victorian era couches. He turns and plunges deeper into the stacks. Dragging his fingers over the spines of new fantasy books preferred by Rain, and the romances Cumulus and Sunshine read voraciously. He browses Dew’s horror section–in case there’s something new he should bring home to the fire ghoul. Glances at the young adult section that Aurora has devoured since she got here. 

He snags a historical fiction for himself, and presses onward into the darkness. There’s a nook, Dew found it years ago, tucked away behind this section. A set of winding stairs hidden behind a wall panel. Aether touches two fingers to the section of wall and it clicks, and pops out, swinging on invisible hinges. 

He steps into the stairwell and tugs it closed behind him. There’s light coming from above. The faint glow of the fairy lights he and Cirrus hung right after Dew found this spot. He follows that glow up the steep stairs and emerges into a small comfortable room. More of an attic than anything else–but transformed into something cozy. There’s a big window in the gable, flooding the room with moonlight. It’s warm and quiet, and not empty. 

Mountain’s seated on one of the many floor pillows. A blanket curled up around his shoulders, back to the wall, horns just barely brushing the peaked ceiling. He’s fully absorbed in a book that Aether recognizes as one of Rain’s favorites. Not a usual pick for the earth ghoul. 

Mountain looks up at him as Aether gets closer. He smiles, it’s warm and sleepy. He pats the pillow next to him. 

“Did you just get off work?” 

Aether nods, dropping down next to Mountain. Shifting so their thighs touch from hip to knee. 

“What are you doing up?” Aether leans his head into Mountain’s shoulder. Mountain reaches up and scratches his fingers through Aether’s hair. Soothing fingers rubbing soft circles above his ear.

“Didn’t realize what time it was–got caught up.” 

“Thought you didn’t like fiction.” 

Mountain huffs out a little laugh. “Yeah, guess I was wrong. Rain has good taste.” 

“He does,” Aether agrees. Settling in, he grabs a blanket of his own and opens his book. One he’s been meaning to read for a while.  “You hanging out for a while?” 

Aether doesn’t mind being here alone, but sometimes–especially tonight–the company sounds nice. Mountain’s ground presence sets him at ease like nothing else, he wants to drown in it. 

Mountain nods. “Got 100 pages left–I need to finish it. And then there’s the sequel.” Mountain holds up another thick paperback. 

Aether smiles, he leans his head a little deeper into Mountain’s shoulder and cracks his book. They fall into companionable silence, soft breathing turning into subtle purrs as the night wears on and the moon sets. 

In the morning, when Dew comes looking for them–he finds them curled up together. Books drooping from their hands. Covered in the same blanket, heads tilted together. The room filled with soft snores.  He takes a picture before he retreats. Sending it to Rain who’s out searching the greenhouse for signs of Mountain.

Found them he sends with the picture.

Adorable Rain responds seconds later.

Dew smiles at the sleeping ghouls in front of them, then turns away. He pads quietly down the stairs and closes the door softly behind him, and goes to finish making breakfast. They’ll emerge when they’re ready–but until then, Dew is more than happy to let them rest–they deserve it.

May i spark your imagination with bb dew at the beach? Mountain making sure he’s got a beach blanket and shade and snacks. Aether chasing all the littles to put on sunscreen and checking they’re all hydrated. Or whatever cute sillyness you can think of. You dont need to write anything if you dont want or dont feel inspired, but i thought it might be fun ❤️

Just something little, hope it's ok 🩷

Cw: just a passing mention of Dew's fear of water

Mountain follows behind Cumulus, carrying her chair and the bags while she keeps a grip on the wiggling baby in her arms. She had finally managed to get him to keep his hat on so he doesn't burn in the sun.

Phantom sprints by them with Swiss right behind them, Aurora rolling her eyes and slowing to walk beside Cumulus.

Dew points at her sparkly pink sunglasses, clapping when she lowers them to look at him.

“Aren't they pretty? They are barbie!”

Cumulus smiles at the little ghoulette. “What do your glasses have, Dew?”

“Mor!”

Mountain laughs behind them. “Sharks. Haie.”

“Bite.”

“They won't bite you.” Aurora assures him.

They continue on until cumulus finds a spot she's happy with and mountain gets everything set up for her, laying a blanket beside her chair for Dew to play on.

He points out at the water, growling at the waves. “No.”

“You're ok, we are going to stay back here.” Cumulus boops the tip of his nose.

She sets him on his blanket and Mountain digs through the bag to find some of his sand toys. He sets his bottle beside him, full of water to keep him cool while he plays.

“I'm gonna go find seashells with Cirrus!” Aurora sprints off toward the other ghoulette, being caught quickly and spun around, her giggle echoing around the beach.

Mountain sits on the blanket beside Dew helping him play with his toys, the baby occasionally pointing at someone walking by. Aether keeps a close eye on Phantom and Swiss, both playing in the water, splashing each other. Rain's out deeper, not dropped, diving as deep as he can before slowly sneaking up on Phantom and Swiss.

Cumulus smiles when Phantom shrieks and giggles and Swiss makes a show of rescuing them from Rain and Dew claps where he sits.

Eventually he wants to explore, crawling off the blanket and onto the sand, taking a few minutes to adjust to the way it feels under his hands and knees.

“Dis?”

“Sand.” He smiles as Dew studies it in his hand before he starts crawling again, pausing occasionally to ask what something is. He finds seashells, seaweed, and watches a little crab scurry by.

“Bug!”

“Crab. He's heading home to the water.”

“Mor…” Dew points at the water where Rain is still swimming. “Bug bite!”

“He won't bite him, honeybee. He just wants to go home.”

Dew side eyes the crab before moving on, seeming like he's on a mission with Mountain following behind. He pauses by Aurora and Cirrus to look at their seashells, clapping when the little ghoulette proudly shows a pink one she found.

“You two need more sunblock!”

Dew heads off toward Aether's voice, the quint standing near the water, yelling for Phantom and Swiss. They complain but Aether doesn't budge.

Dew stops beside him as Phantom and Swiss make it out of the water, pouting as Aether makes them dry off so he can reapply their sunscreen.

“You'll be grateful when you're not burnt and miserable.” He pokes Phantom's nose. “Ask Swiss all about his last burn.”

Mountain smirks when he rolls his eyes. “Wasn't that bad…”

“No? Because I'm pretty sure I remember you trying to climb in the freezer with all of Mountain's aloe plants.”

“Well it doesn't happen often!”

“And you're very lucky for that.” Aether tells him as he makes sure he's got the little ghouls back covered. “Go have a snack while that soaks in.”

Phantom takes Swiss' hand, heading off toward Cumulus for some water and snacks.

Aether bends and scoops Dew up, kissing his cheek. “Are you having fun?” He lifts his sandy little hands for Aether to see. “Do you like the sand?”

“Mine.” He looks back out at the waves. “Mor?”

“He's out there.”

“See.”

Aether turns him in his arms so Dew can look out across the water easier. He kicks his legs when Rain pops his head back up.

“Mor!”

Rain catches his voice, turning to the sound before he smiles and swims to shore. Dew reaches for him once he makes his way to stand by them.

“I'm all wet, amour…”

“Mor p’ease!”

Aether shrugs and hands the baby over. Rain takes him slowly, letting him adjust to the feeling of Rain's wet chest. He seems unsure at first, looking between Rain and Aether but eventually he settles comfortably in Rain's arms.

“Are you having a good day?” Rain smiles, fixing the baby's hat.

He claps before laying his head on Rain's shoulder. Mountain and Aether wander off, heading toward Lus trying to get Swiss to sit for just a few more minutes.

Rain sits on the sand with Dew on his lap, back far enough that the waves only just touch the bottom of his feet. Dew tenses at first but eventually relaxes back against Rain, eyes watching the waves.

Rain glances over his shoulder when he hears Aurora giggle, watching her chase after Cirrus as fast as she can.

Dew wiggles, scootching down Rain's legs just slightly. “Off to explore again?”

He points as the waves roll up again. “Mor…”

“It's ok, it won't-”

“Toucher…” (touch)

Rain blinks a few times, wondering if maybe he'd misheard him. “Vous voulez toucher l'eau?” (You want to touch the water?)

“P’ease.”

He takes a minute, checking the baby's expression, his eyes before scooting a bit closer to the water. Dew looks back at him a few times, his fingers curled back in fists before he leans forward and hovers his fingers over where the waves will crash.

He pulls his hand back at first when they come, curling up closer to Rain's chest.

“It's ok. I've got you.”

His eyes are a little darker when he peeks up at Rain. “Bite?”

Rain smiles sadly, shaking his head. He knows what he means, understands that he's afraid to be hurt again and that's the only way it makes sense to him right now.

“No, it won't bite you. I'd never let that happen.”

Dew holds onto Rain's hand, watching the waves for a few minutes before he speaks again. “Mor me.”

He smiles and squeezes his little fingers, guiding his hand to the water just as it starts to recede. Dew blows a raspberry when the next wave covers his hand.

“Froid!” He shrieks but he digs his fingers in the wet sand.

“It's not cold you silly thing!”

Dew giggles and watches another wave come up over his hand. Rain watches him, the way he starts to flinch but relaxes when Rain gives his hand a little squeeze. It's something Rain loves, slowly reintroducing the baby to his old element, helping him learn it's not bad or out to hurt him, that it still loves him so much.

Dew sits back and signs ‘all done’, curling up on Rain again. He holds him close, adjusting him better in his arms after seeing him yawn. He rocks him and hums along with the waves as Dew slowly falls asleep.

The band Ghost is so fucking funny to me. Their frontman currently looks like this:

Or some version of a horny goth clown, but the guy underneath it has got the wettest saddest eyes I've ever seen. Just look at him:

This man admits to being very sensitive and cries at the drop of a hat.

He has a wife and kids.

He wears the costume because he doesn't like the way he looks on stage as a rockstar.

He treats the audience like his children. They're officially called the children of Ghost for that and also because of the play on "children of god."

The band literally fucks around on stage while riffing this badass music. They go through physical comedy skits every concert like the three stooges. For example:

Two demons throw guitar picks at each other when they get angy.

One guy grinds and licks the stage like a cat in heat.

One of them shakes their tits at goth clown man and scares him shitless.

One of them twirls goth clown man like a ballerina as he dances by them.

Several of them slap goth clown's ass when he waddles by.

He created the band to make people happy, to celebrate being a fucking weirdo because he always felt left out, and to make fun of Christianity because it makes people feel bad. He lost his older brother, and it tore him up so bad that the music he made as a result launched him into a worldwide music career.

This man ends every concert "ritual" with three things:

1. Be nice to each other

2. Help each other

3. Go fuck yourself

(Literally and figuratively)

Their music is 70% "fuck me I'm so horny", 10% "I love you so much" and 20% "ethereal badass metal".

Look at how much fun he's having, dude.

It's literally just a rock band filled with the nicest people on earth wearing costumes like a Shakespearean play. And all they do is make up funny little lore stories and serve cunt.

Hihi! I was wondering of you could write something about the ghouls (big or small) trying new foods? i think it could be really cute.

This idea just wouldn't leave my head after I saw this! Hope it's ok!

Cw: food, and not a warning but Dews words for things

It's a joy they never thought they'd have, something so small and simple was hugely important and brought more happiness than they could ever put to words.

They never thought that beyond a bottle and occasional oatmeal that the baby would ever really eat, it wasn't something they gave much thought to. But he'd made leaps and bounds in his healing and now...

"Dat?"

Rain blinks away his thoughts and looks over to what Dew is pointing at on Rain's plate.

"That is a shrimp." He holds it up for Dew to look at closer. "Do you want to try?"

He looks like he'd rather go eat dirt. "No. Ew bug!"

"It does kind of look like a bug." He kisses the top of Dew's little head. "You don't have to try it. Would you like more green beans?"

"Bean beans p'ease!"

Rain happily goes to grab him more and watches how he studies them, playing with them before he finally starts chomping away. He never knew something so simple would make him so proud.

He's not the only one. Every single one of them is happy to be a part of his journey, showing him new things to try.

He's perched on Mountain's knee one day out in the sun while the giant eats some grapes and Rain watches him bite them in half, being sure to pull the skin off before offering the baby little pieces.

He doesn't seem to like the purple ones, blowing raspberries and shaking his head, but green seem to be fine. Rain smiles at Mountain's unending patience, how he just let's Dew squish and explore without a care in the world simply because Dew is happy and bright.

His little hand touches Mountain's lips and he holds up one of his grapes. "Dis?"

"Grapes. Weintrauben."

He's not interested in repeating either word but he continues snacking and Mountain smiles down at him, nothing but peace in his eyes.

Swiss wasn't sure if Dew would be willing to try any of his food, tending to make his pretty spicy but he beamed when Dew eyeballed his plate one night and pointed at his rice, something more mild than usual.

"Dat?"

"Arroz Al la Mexicana." He offers a little bit on his finger and Dew stares at it for a while. Swiss almost pulls his hand back but Dew chomps down before he can. "Eat the rice but leave my finger you little devil!"

Dew giggles and Swiss watches his face as he decides if he likes it or not and he nearly jumps up with an excited cheer when he asks for more.

It doesn't always go well, sometimes he's just not in the mood, cranky or tired, or just simply more in the mood to play with it instead.

Aether has him in his highchair one morning while he sips his coffee and makes Dew a plate of fruits that he knows he likes. He keeps a mental note of Dews favorites but apparently he has other plans.

He growls at the plate when Aether sets it down and he watches him squish each strawberry.

"No tall babies!"

Aether can't help but laugh. "You like strawberries!"

He flings a chunk at Aether, clearly unamused by such an accusation.

"No tall babies!" He settles once he's got them all off his plate and is left with his watermelon and blueberries, eating happily and babbling away.

He catches Mountain later to ask if he knows what suddenly changed Dews mind about the strawberries.

"Oh, there were a bunch of wasps near the bushes the other day when I took him down to pick some. He was pretty unhappy about it, guess he holds a grudge."

Aether shakes his head and updates his mental list that "tall babies" are now a no.

Phantom is on the couch with their snack bowl while they watch tv and have an afternoon snack, even the other littles aren't spared from Dew's curiosity and are happy to share.

Dew pulls himself to stand in front of the couch, pointing at the puffy Cheetos Phantom is currently eating.

"Me p'ease!"

Phantom giggles and climbs off the couch. "H-hold on!" They run to the kitchen where Swiss is getting dinner prepped. "C-can Dew have s-some of my Cheetos?"

Swiss laughs when the baby crawls in behind Phantom, eyebrows pinched as he looks up at the bowl.

"Yeah, just keep him in here with them ok?"

Phantom sits on the floor and hands Dew one of the puffy, cheesy snacks. They giggle when Dew blows a raspberry at it at first but eventually he decides he likes it enough to ask for another one.

"G-good?"

"Teese toes!"

Phantom laughs so hard Swiss almost worries they'll run out of air but Dew claps and Phantom hands him another one.

There are still things he refuses to eat. He hates peas and carrots, he doesn't like things that are too sweet like cakes or cookies, he hates eggs and won't even look at them if they are offered.

His favorite is still broccoli and if he had it his way he'd have it morning, noon, and night.

It quickly becomes their favorite part of dinner when Dew is dropped and in a good mood, trying out new recipes to see if he will try it and even better, if he'll like it.

They don't take it for granted no matter how small it may seem because it shows his healing and how far he'd come and they will happily cheer on every single step out of the dark that he takes.

I'd definitely read the shit out of this

would you ever be open to reader x dew having a ghoul kit?

jbtgbetmberlkbrstkcbdrkgbdjfbcg,dkrbgc,dkrbctkdrhj

I was waiting for someone to ask this because I clearly could not leave the ghoul kits/Dew being good with kids alone in my last fic lol but this is the million-dollar question!!

TL;DR—hard maybe! I personally love the idea of it but my interest kind of ends when the kid is actually born haha I feel it'd be a pretty hard pivot for the series if they had to raise a kid. But maybe a while down the road, if it seems like it makes sense for the story and people would be on board to read about it!

BUT now I've been spending all morning thinking HARD about this, so have some little drabbles/headcanons about what would happen if you got knocked up by Dew:

First off, how would you know it's even Dew's if you're sucking and fucking your way across the abbey? Easy—this can be explained away with my new best friend, GHOUL CREAMPIE LORE. I am unable to elaborate further at this time.

Dew would obviously be on board with doing whatever you want to do, but would also be unable to hide the fact that there's nothing in the world he wants more than having this baby. He'd have absolutely no chill.

Like, as soon as the doctor confirms that you're pregnant this mf would be decorating the nursery in his head. Everyone's already caught onto the fact that he secretly loves kids but this would just blow the hatch off him pretending like he doesn't.

This absolutely terrifies all of the ghouls and Copia.

Speaking of which—the ghouls would crack a few jokes about how nobody needs another Dew but they would all also be thrilled!! Who doesn't love a ghoul kit?! They all especially love that you'll be raising it somewhere that isn't the ghoul den, though! Aether and Cumulus have already offered to babysit as much as needed.

Dew's clinginess and possessiveness is now ramped up to eleven. Eleven million. You literally can't go anywhere without him hovering an inch away from you. Always has a hand or tail on you, glaring at anybody who looks at you, constantly rubbing your stomach even when you don't have anything to show for it yet. It's annoying af honestly. He follows you to the bathroom and sits on the floor to stare at you like a cat.

Copia is somehow worse! This man is losing his mind! Mostly with happiness, but everyone's favorite anxious little man of the cloth does not do well with change! He's constantly checking in on you, asking intrusive questions, asking if he can touch your stomach, giving you random little gifts for the baby. He and Dew will definitely butt heads over this and have a few little spats.

You know how cats can sense when you're not feeling well and will drape themselves over your body and purr? Yeah. You're just constantly in a big purring ghoul pile now, this is your life.

Turns out quintessence magic is great for morning sickness. Aether and Phantom are your new best friends. But don't worry, nothing weird is going on—Dew makes sure of that, as he sits with his face practically pressing against theirs, scowling, as they work their magic on you.

To that end, sexy times with the other ghouls came to an abrupt halt as soon as that pregnancy test came back, for both you and Dew. He's only got eyes for you and god help them if anyone else tries to have eyes for you too.

Mountain is extremely enthusiastic about giving you foot rubs. You love it. Dew regards him with extreme suspicion. You don't tell Dew that you can definitely feel his boner when your foot's in his lap, because getting good foot rubs is more important to you than not titillating Mountain's fetishes.

The kid would just be a carbon copy of Dew, except with more human eyes/features/skintone. Everyone will be visibly apprehensive when they see that you literally brought another Dew into the world.

Dew is gonna shock the shit out of everyone by being dad of the year. He won't get everything right and his approach will still be very Dew-like, but he clearly loves it. He's thriving. He's never seemed more in his element than when he's stalking around the abbey with the kit strapped to his chest. He LOVES the attention it gets him from the siblings.

When the kit gets a bit older Dew will become partial to walking them around on a leash. The kit will definitely be taller than Dew by like age 10. It will become unclear who exactly is walking who on the leash.

Two Benadryl, two melatonin and a half a bottle of wine will also do the trick Dewrop.

Dew, brewing a pot of sleepytime tea: "Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble... With this magic potion-" -popping open a bottle of benadryl and taking two out- "-and these magic beans, this bitch is gonna sleep tonight or I'm personally gonna strangle the sandman."

Mushy May Day 14: "Shut Up, I'm Taking Care Of You"

Mountain makes Cumulus tea when she's coming down with a bug.

Thank you to @forlorn-crows for putting Mushy May together, and thank you to @ghuleh-recs for making dividers for us <3

Another bonus prompt today!

It's early, sky starting to shift from black to blue, the promise of a new day. Mountain pads into the kitchen, having already been up for a while, still. There's a basket of vegetables fresh harvested from the greenhouse tucked under his arm. He heads to the sink, washing them before setting them aside to dry.

Mountain whips to face the door when he hears a hacking, wet cough behind him. He thought he was the only ghoul awake, sun just barely beginning to peek out from over the horizon, but he was wrong. As he turns, he finds Cumulus, hair tied back and deep circles under her eyes.

"Hey, hummingbird," he says cautiously, shutting off the sink. "What're you doing up so early?"

She shrugs with one shoulder, rubbing her eyes under her glasses. "Couldn't sleep." Her voice is stuffy, and she sounds miserable.

Mountain hums, taking the kettle off of its element and filling it with water. "You don't sound so good, Cue. I know you don't like tea that much, but it might make you feel better."

She mumbles something under her breath, coughing again, before sitting at the kitchen table, covering her face with her hands.

"What was that?" Mountain asks, not turning to face her as he sets the kettle to boil, digging through one of the cabinets for a specific jar of loose leaf tea, one of his own blends.

"Said you don't need to stop what you're doing to make tea, Mount. You know I prefer-" She freezes as Mountain peers over his shoulder, an emerald green eye meeting hers, eyebrow raised

"Maybe I wanted tea," he teases, grabbing mugs and the diffusers he likes to use. "No, but seriously, hummingbird, I love you. You sound like shit. Let me make you a cup."

"Mount-"

"Cumulus, shut up, I'm taking care of you," Mountain interjects, firmly but kindly. "Let me make you tea, it sounds like your throat hurts something awful."

"It does," Cumulus sighs, slumping exhausted into the kitchen chair. "I think it's why I couldn't sleep." She coughs with a wince. Mountain nods, reaching for one of the honey jars.

"I'd imagine," Mountain says, humming low in his throat in sympathy as he spoons the tea leaves and herbs into one of the diffusers. The kettle whistles, and Cumulus jolts in her chair, laughing weakly at herself for startling. Mountain takes it off of the element, pouring the boiling water into Cumulus's favorite mug and leaving it to steep.

"Now, I'm no Aether," he says, bringing the mug over to the kitchen table, setting it in front of her. "But I think breathing in the steam while it steeps might help some."

"Thank you, Mounty." Cumulus carefully takes the mug, the long sleeves of her sleep shirt pulled up over her hands as a makeshift potholder. She takes as deep a breath through her nose that her sinuses will allow, eyes flickering shut as she smells the ginger and peppermint of this particular blend.

He pours water into his own mug, his preferred green tea in his. He lets it steep, watching Cumulus fondly as she sticks her face closer to the steam. "Of course, hummingbird. Once that steeps, I'll put some honey in it. Know you like it sweet." He hipchecks her chair gently, boyishly grinning ear to ear.

"Mount," she whines, still stuffy but she's laughing, and that's all Mountain could ask for.

"Is the steam helping?" Mountain says, eyes glancing at the clock on the stove, keeping track of how long their teas have been steeping. He rummages through one of the drawers for a spoon, opening the jar of honey.

"Think so," Cumulus says. "Though it's fogging up my glasses something awful."

"Yeah, makes you look real dorky," he says, carefully taking the mug from her and pulling out the diffuser. He stirs in a large spoonful of honey and passes her the mug back.

"Mount." She laughs, blowing softly at the mug, and Mountain can feel the tingle in the base of his skull that means she's using her magick to cool it. Cumulus takes a long sip, shutting her eyes. "Thank you."

Mountain smiles a little wider as he takes a sip from his own mug. "Any time, hummingbird."

Poor Kevin

Kevin is absolutely annoyed by ghouls and would like to send them all back to the pit

cw: hate, politically incorrect, humiliation

Not because he's afraid of them, no, on the contrary, you can't have less respect for them than Kevin. He just thinks they're annoying little beasts, like particularly vicious chihuahuas from hell. Dewdrop, Phantom and Rain especially get on his nerves. Phantom because he's always clinging to Kevin like a leech. Dewdrop because he's a little gremlin who just causes chaos that Kevin then has to clean up. And Rain isn't that bad but he isn't good at speaking human language that Kevin usually doesn't understand what the water ghoul is stammering anyway. Well, Kevin could speak ghoulish if he wanted to, but in the end these pests would annoy him even more.

Kevin hates ghouls with a passion.

The worst is when he has to fix something in the ghoul wing.

For example, the other day, when he just wanted to clean the clogged drain in the kitchen sink, he was surrounded by ghouls within a few minutes. They reminded him of a bunch of starving cats, the way they stalked around him and cast curious glances over his shoulder.

Phantom was immediately glued to him again, practically tugging at Kevin's hair and clothes. Then Aether, who kept his distance but intermittently gave advice that Kevin hadn't asked for. "You should unscrew the drain pipe first" and "Are you sure you've mixed the cleaning concentrate sufficiently? Otherwise it could damage the pipes."

Kevin wanted to hit Aether in the face. But instead he contented himself with glaring at the sink while he worked.

At one point he accidentally hit Rain's forehead with his knee because Rain was squeezing himself on the floor between him and the bucket that Kevin had used to catch all the muck from the drainpipe. With an annoyed look, Kevin noticed that the water ghoul had started collecting small pieces that had landed in the drainpipe from the bucket.

"Stop that! You're just making everything dirty," he growled as Rain pulled his hands back and placed a marble, dripping with dirt, on the ground.

Rain just babbled incomprehensible things as he began to dig in the muck again.

"Why do you forbid Rain that?", whispered Phantom and came so close to Kevin that he felt the ghoul's warm breath brushing over his ear.

Kevin sighed with the burden of a man who would rather tend a sack full of fleas than a handful of ghouls.

Why couldn't the clergy have chosen other demons? There were many species that were less unruly than ghouls. Kevin even had the feeling that chaos ghouls not only enjoyed themselves, but that they actually drew their energy from it. He had once expressed this thought to Sister Imperator, but she had just laughed at him and said that he just had to learn to assert himself. That could only come from someone who didn't have to deal with these plagues on a daily basis.

Annoyed, Kevin stuck the spiral into the drain to push out the last bit of snot, while at the same time swatting away Rain's fingers that had appeared on the edge of the sink.

Since Copia had risen to the top of the ministry and had a bit more say, Kevin was no longer even allowed to sprinkle holy water on the ghouls to keep them away. After all, that would hurt the ghouls, the youngest Emeritus brother had explained his decision. Simply ridiculous. When Kevin had started working for the clergy, ghouls had just been treated like ghouls. But since Copia had shown up here, Kevin had to treat these creatures as if they had more feelings than lust, hunger and thirst.

Finally, the resistance in the drain was released and with a slap, a pile of mud landed in the bucket.

"Is that...sand?" asked Aether, astonished. Kevin shrugged his shoulders in resignation. "How do I know what kind of crap you always pour down the drain?!" He pulled the spiral back and knelt under the sink to screw the pipe back on.

Phantom also knelt down next to him and grabbed one of Kevin's long strands of hair to chew on.

"I'm clearly not being paid well enough for this," the brown haired growled, shooing back first Phantom and then Rain, whose hand had already disappeared back into the bucket.

Under the curious gaze of the ghouls, Kevin screwed the pipe back on, sat up with his aching back and picked up the bucket.

"It would be nice if you could just stop breaking or clogging anything for more than three days," Kevin grumbled, looking sternly at Aether. The quintessence ghoul had spent the last few minutes watching with his hands on his hips and a critical expression. "I'm doing my best, but you know what they're like." Kevin only snorted in response. He watched as Aether disappeared into the living room before he too turned to leave. The ghoul was talking to Kevin as if they were eye to eye. Kevin shook his head.

Ghouls.

He was about to close the door behind him when Rain slithered through and tugged at his sleeve. His big blue eyes bored into his.

"What?" Kevin asked slightly suprised. Rain's mouth opened and closed a few times without any words coming out. Then, finally, when Kevin's already extremely thin thread of patience was about to snap, Rain managed to say a word.

"Encore."

He had always thought that Rain simply didn't speak human language, but apparently the ghoul was just stupid. In a good-natured tone, as if he was talking to someone particularly retarded, Kevin replied. "I know you did a great job on the ghovie. We're all very proud of you. But I," he pointed to himself, "have to go now," he pointed to the door.

Rain tilted his head, confused. He's probably doing this so that the few brain cells he has will slip into the same corner, Kevin thought spitefully.

The water ghoul tugged at his sleeve again, this time more frantically. "encore, encore, encore Dew."

Confused, Kevin turned around and froze.

Dewdrop stood at the sink and calmly poured a thick liquid into it. Kevin now also noticed the penetrating smell of ammonia. The damned ghoul poured wall paint into the sink. Kevin blinked. The man was too stunned to even utter a word.

He definitely needed a bottle of whiskey tonight. Better yet, two. And brandy. A lot of it.

Prompt #1000

"Then why did you even come along?"

"Because someone has to save your ass if this inevitably goes wrong."