Cptsd-blogger - Sideblog Vent

I suspect quite a few people on this site don’t realize they are struggling with the effects of chronic trauma. In particular I think more people need to learn about the symptoms of C-PTSD.

Distinct from general PTSD, Complex PTSD is caused by prolonged, recurring stress and trauma, often occurring in childhood & adolescence over an extended period of time. There are many risk factors, including: abusive/negligent caregivers, dysfunctional family life, untreated mental/chronic illness, and being the target of bullying/social alienation.

I’m not a mental health professional and I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone, I just remember a million watt light bulb going off in my head when I first learned about C-PTSD. It was a huge OH MY FUCKING WORD eureka moment for me—it explained all these problems I was confused and angry at myself for having. The symptoms that really stood out to me were:

Negative self-perception: deep-seated feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, and stigma. Feeling like you are different from everyone else, like something is fundamentally ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ with you.

Emotional avoidance of topics, people, relationships, activities, places, things etc that might cause uncomfortable emotions such as shame, fear, or sadness. Can lead to self-isolation.

Learned helplessness: a pervasive sense of powerlessness, often combined with feelings of desensitization, wherein you gradually stop trying to escape or prevent your own suffering, even when opportunities exist. May manifest as self-neglect or self-sabotage. (I remember watching myself make bad choices and neglect my responsibilities, and having no idea why I was doing it, or how to stop myself. Eventually I just stopped caring, which led to more self-neglect.)

Keep reading

original writing / do not repost

Sourced from ‘real depression project’ on Instagram.

[ID: Pictures with white writing on purple backgrounds, first & last pictures are pink writing on purple backgrounds. Words in quotation marks are also pink.

Picture 1; ‘childhood trauma isn’t just the result of being abused. It can also be the result of…’

Picture 2; ‘Being left to “fend for yourself” when you needed safety and security’.

Picture 3; ‘Having your feelings invalidated and denied whenever your sought emotional support’.

Picture 4; ‘Being forced to “self sooth” alone and find escape from your painful reality (eg. Video games)’.

Picture 5; ‘Having to hide your true self because it wasn’t accepted by those you craved to be understood by’.

Picture 6; ‘Having your parents constantly prioritise themselves (or their work) over yourself’.

Picture 7; ‘Feeling like you have to compete/prove yourself to receive the love and attention you sought’.

Picture 8; ‘Please know you are worthy of love & compassion- don’t let your parents inability to give you this make you conclude otherwise’. /end ID]

I learn how to live with it

[Image description: A tumblr text-post, edited blackout-poetry style to read, "i want to live in a fantasy world where i've never seen slander and trauma."]

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i want to live in a fantasy world where i've never seen slander and trauma

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