Latest Posts by crap-blog-blog-blog - Page 4

sometimes jason has this deep conversations with gus and gus always meows at him as if he's answering. jason is like gossiping with gus but the rest of the batfam thinks jason is insane, dick iq like "is that fat cat talking to you?" and jason is like "shut up"

- 🦇

AHAHAHAHA WAIT DOES THIS IMPLY THAT JASON BRINGS GUS TO THE BATCAVE BC THATS FUCKING HILARIOUS

Jason has to make his whole family meet his new obese cat, so he brings Gus to the batcave for a visit. Gus sleeps on the Batcomputer. Gus apparently is heavy enough to trigger all weight panels. All of the other animals are afraid of Gus. Titus won’t go within 5 feet of the cat and drags Damian (holding the leash) to the side. Damian shouts “WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? THE CAT IS FAR TOO OBESE TO CHASE YOU.” Damian does love the cat though. He has been caught petting the cat in his lap saying “you are a truly majestic animal.”

Jason is talking to the cat about how Dick made a reckless move and jumped off a building to dodge a punch from a rogue. Gus meows back and Jason goes “I KNOW, RIGHT? And get this: now he’s trying to act like it wasn’t that big of a deal!!” Gus meows. “EXACTLY!” The cat meows again. “That’s exactly what I told him, Gus. He’s just being obtuse.” Meow. “Sorry, big word. He’s just being ridiculous.” Meow. “I agree.” Meow. “Now I wouldn’t go that far.” Meow. “Gus!!” Meow. Jason laughs hysterically.

Dick watches, just blinking. He looks at Tim to make sure this is real. Tim is also just staring. Jason picks up his obese cat and leaves.

Alfred gets sick of Bruce breaking and losing stuff on patrol so he gets a label maker and starts naming items after the kids

Alfred: I got you a new phone, just like you asked. Its name is Jason. Try not to let it die.

Bruce, tearing up: Why would you say that—

Bat!sib: Hey, Jason, why did the chicken cross the road?

Jason: “To get to the other side?”

Bat!sib: You were supposed to say “I dunno, why?”

Jason: Fine, I don’t know, why did the chicken cross the road?

Bat!sib: To get to the idiot’s house.

Jason: . . . Ok?

Bat!sib: Hey, Jason, knock knock.

Jason: No.

Bat!sib: You were supposed to say “Who’s there?”

Jason: Fine. . . Let’s get this over with. Who’s there?

Bat!sib: The chicken.

Jason:

Jason: Listen here you little shit—

😭

We are so so understaffed

[at Jason's funeral]

Dick: *places his hand on the headstone and sobs*

Dick: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

If batkids had a podcast XVI

Red hood: Just us today?

Nightwing: Just us today.

Red hood (laughing) I wonder why–

Nighwing: Dude– (laughing as well)

Red hood: I–

Nightwing: Dude don't do it–

(just both of them chuckling)

Red Hood (close to the mic): They're grounded.

Nightwing: (CACKLES)

Nightwing (crying): This is not funny

Red Hood: This is hilarious.

Red Hood: Were last survivors of our kind. . .

Red Hood: Adults.

Nightwing: Adults.

Red Hood: He can't ground us anymore.

Nighwing, chuckling: He can't ground us anymore

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Fuck.

Nightwing:

Red Hood: We're b– (pause) We're both the oldest now.

Nightwing: Yeah– You, me and–

Red Hood, at the same time: Yeah– (pause) This is so surreal

Nightwing: You think?

Red Hood: Yeah. Dude – I was. . . I was the youngest.

Nightwing: Oh your sweet summer– I was a only child.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Nightwing: It really isn't that weird to me.

Red Hood: Really?

Nightwing: Yeah– I was always the oldest man.

Nightwing: I was the oldest of my team

Red Hood: What?!

Nightwing: Yeah!

Red Hood: You're fucking with me.

Nightwing: Nah man– I was the oldest. I am the oldest, I'm not dead.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're older than Arsenal?

Nightwing: I'm older than everybody man.

Nightwing: People look at me and assign me to take care of children.

Red Hood (imitating Damian voice): "Father genes"

Nightwing: HA– "father genes" (pause) Why are you looking at me like that?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're ancient.

Nightwing: IM NOT ANCIENT.

Red Hood: You're older than the Teen Titans, fucking older than Young Justice.

Nightwing: You're older than Young Justice

Red Hood: I was dead man it doesn't count.

Nightwing: Of course it does– How old are you?

Red Hood: How old are you?

Nightwing:

Nighwing: I– I am an adult.

Red Hood: Uh-huh.

Nightwing: In a reasonable age.

Red Hood: You're in your thirties aren't you?

Nightwing: NO

Nightwing:

Red Hood: You look like you're in your thirties– The bag under your eyes

Nightwing: Because I'm tired????

Red Hood: The hunched posture.

Nightwing: Hey I do not have hunched posture– Fuck you.

Nightwing: You try to take care of an entire team of teenagers just to end up taking care of more two and a grown ass depressed middle aged man.

Red Hood: That was Red–

Nightwing: That was Red. (pause) I would have fucking killed him.

Red Hood: Oh Definitely.

Nightwing: Point still stand man I'm tired.

Red Hood: Both of us.

Nightwing: Both of us– (chuckles) Robins if you're hearing this I love both of you and I would do it all over again. Titans– (closer to the mic) You know what you did.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Red Hood (closer to his mic): You know your sins.

Nightwing (laughing): Flash owe me 30 dollars.

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Clark: Should we really be here?

Bruce: What is it, Clark? Do you not want to be on a date with me?

Clark: I do! But it feels weird to be following Cass and her date like this.

Bruce: We’re not following them, we just happen to be in the same vicinity. Bowling is my hobby.

Clark: …Sure. Anyway, he seems like a nice guy.

Bruce: Hmph. He may be big and tall, but I bet those muscles are just for show. Even Damian could take him on.

Clark: Damian is a trained assassin.

Bruce: Eat your strawberry crêpe, Clark.

Clark: Bruce, why are there police officers talking to Cass?

Bruce: Ha! I knew there was something suspicious about that guy.

Clark: They’re heading this way.

Officer: Sirs, we’ve received a police report about two suspicious-looking men in Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses stalking a pair of teenagers. Please come with us to the police station for further questioning.

Bruce: Stalking a pair of- That’s my daughter!

Clark: Can I finish my crêpe? I don’t want to waste good food.

Frrrrr

We learn from one another

"Omg I love your artstyle!!"

Thanks!, I stole it from 6 people

I love ragatha so much i can’t

All of them but as animals.

Tim: I’ve been told to fuck myself numerous times. Isn’t this what they wanted?

Random HC

One time Tim, after a long night's patrol and a morning of dealing with his siblings, was confronted by the press while he was going into work - which isn't a rare occurence.

Now, its public knowledge that the Waynes fund the Bats, and that they have likely met once or twice

One of the reporters asks Tim:

have you ever met Red Robin?

And Tim, confidently on live television, tells them:

yeah, we're fuck buddies. I'm late for work, bye

Waiter: *(nearly in tears)* PLEASE JUST SAY STOP- ITS A SINGLE SYLLABLE

Tim’s angel on his shoulder: Thou shall not yield.

(Dont ask what the devil’s doing rn 😭)

Tim: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.

Tim: I will not yield.

Ok so we have all heard the post about Batman adopting Zuko from avatar the last Airbender. (For those who haven’t here is a link)

But imagine if the entire Gaang ended up in DC universe but we’re separated on entry.

Zuko lands in Gotham.

Aang in either Metropolis or Smallville. Actually I don’t have the heart to separate him from Appa and Momo so Smallville it is.

Katara and Sokka out on the coast where Aquaman would find them.

Suki on paradise island or where ever in the mainland Wonder Woman lives.

But where do we put Toph?

Hi! Sorry if this is weird or anything, this is my first time sending an ask lol

But I just finished reading your writing about the singer/influencer reader and omfg I love your brain. Like imagine the reader did a cover of/wrote like spit in my face by ThxSoMch or Cigarette Ahegao by Penelope Scott (love her sm btw-) cause just imagine the GUILTTT

Imagine the Batfam listening to their music and just hearing the bitterness in their voice as they sing “Screwing everything up, doing everything wrong, In my defence I wasn’t supposed to be around this long, so” HGDECANZZKNFBVD

Anyway, I love your writing and I hope you have an absolutely amazing week! Take care of yourself too- drink water, eat some food and try to get some sleep ml <3

Nah anon you're cool. I love reading asks. ALSO credits to Luludelulusramblings, they made the originally made Influencer reader. Batfam belongs to DC as usual. Singer reader post: here

You know, in the Art History year 1901-1904, Picasso started the Blue Period where he only painted in the shades of Blue. It started due to the death of his friend, later his financial struggles, and of course the current state of the society. Blue Period art was so good but so doleful and depressing that no one wants to hang it in their house. Singer! Reader started their career covering mainstream songs, band songs, maybe even vocaloid. 

Their blue period started months before they planned to leave the manor. It was a simple cover of MARINA’s ‘Are you satisfied?’ A lot of burnt out overachievers ate that cover, even Tim himself. The song is basically the reader questioning the Wayne last name. Sure it was a goldmine to others but to them it’s a ticket to misery. One song cover turned into many song covers, enough to make a long playlist to play at 3 a.m. when you’re about to have a breakdown. 

The whole playlist? Batfam avoids it because it reminds them of the times they could have been giving you love but they didn’t BUT at the same time they can’t really avoid it. It became like those guilty pleasures playlist. Damian loves and hates reader’s ‘The Family Jewels’ cover because it reminds him of the fact that he and the reader are basically on the same boat. They were just children who needed attention and love. He got that attention and love immediately because of the whole league of assassins backstory. He won’t admit it but the weight of the role weighs like tonnes of iron on his shoulders. 

Jason, Bruce and Cigarette Ahegao will roll together so much. That man has twice the amount of trauma Bruce had and his coping mechanism sucks. All the aggressiveness was just a coping mechanism, underneath he’s a man with conflicted feelings and those years of being dead and suddenly being resurrected didn’t help. Let’s face it Bruce is a tired man who lives a double life. He's a man who dresses up like as a bat making sure the city is safe but he can't cover all grounds. The neglect on reader was unintentional but neglect is neglect.

Dick with reader’s cover of ‘Stressed out’ by Twenty one pilots, no explanation needed. ‘This is me trying’ by Taylor Swift with Cassandra, Stephanie, and Tim. Cassandra and Stephanie being raised by villains and Tim being an overachiever to have his parent’s attention. His parents being always away and realizing he basically did the same thing to the reader by making them feel invisible. 

Double guilt if they left the playlist on autoplay and ‘Daddy issues’ plays. Any version but I think the original fits the bill. Reader ends their blue period with a cover of Mother Mother’s ‘Burning Pile’ basically saying ‘Yeah fuck it, it’s over. I’m burning it, I’m leaving it, I’m closing the chapter’. But to the Batfamily, it meant renewal and turning a new leaf, an invitation to make things better.

WOOOOOOOO

FRICK ‘IM UP, ODYSSEUS! FRICK ‘IM UP

i think im just not worth getting close to

Fr my wattpad acc is dead

I was so excited to write but i have no time anymore 😭

I've been utterly dead on this acc I AM SO SORRY 💀💀💀

I've been going through a lot irl

Loiriyiel

Considering the other results, I think I’m lucky to get something that resembles gibberish than anything else

Find your REAL Angel name

• First two letters of your last name • First vowel of your first name • Third letter of your middle name (or parent’s first name if you don’t have a middle name • Last consonant of your last name • Add IEL or EL to the end!

ok

obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok

I needed a translator but love this

Beauty and The Beast - Tyzula AU Los espiritus condenan a una princesa despota a una maldición... Sólo quería hacer un dibujo caracterizando La Bella y la Bestia con Tyzula, pero hice más de la cuenta y no creo trabajar más en los bocetos pero igual los agrego.

Pese que seguramente Azula admiré los dragones, tener la apriencia de uno es muy diferente cuando antes fue una humana que probablemente se jactaba de su belleza. Quería adaptar el cuento en el mundo de la serie, con su cultura occidental y si es posible retratar la personalidad de los personajes.

Wonder if he has insurance (I don’t think so, not with that ascot)

I want the joker to be duplicated solely for the purpose that every member of the batfam gets to kill him

if a supervillain said "you wont kill me thatd make you just like me" i would simply say "no it wouldnt id be saving millions of people" and the villain would say "but youd be dooming yourself. could you really live knowing youre a killer" and id say "well id certainly have trouble. ill probably be very sad about it. definitely a lot to unpack" and theyd say "so you wont do it" and id say "oh no im still gonna" and theyd say "what" and id say "youre a supervillain responsible for countless deaths and yet here you are desperately trying to bargain for your life. you want to live. which means you can easily live with yourself after being responsible for countless deaths. i, on the other hand, will at the very least have tremendous difficulty with even killing just one person and at worst might just jump out a window right after i do it. the very nature of this whole conversation about whether we are the same has proven to me we are very much not the same and i am certain killing you to save millions is the morally correct decision here" and theyd say "what" and id say "get killed idiot"

the audacity of this bish to make me cry how dare you i feel so hurt from the very depths of my soul 😭

Recreation of that one moment

Forget the halloween room, what is up with the unknown?! (Hallway thing near the Halloween room)

An interesting element I don’t often see in Batfamily fics is that Wayne Manor in all likelihood was built to accommodate an extensive staff and while Alfred may or may not be the only live-in employee in modern times (depending on canon) there are dozens of rooms and even an entire wing of the house that were historically devoted to feeding, housing, and employing many different types of people in order to maintain a grand estate 24/7. Carriage houses out back with old living quarters above what used to be horse stalls. Endless rickety, narrow servants’ staircases hidden alongside and behind the main, grander staircases. Bells and switches attached throughout the house to alert staff of changes. Pipes to the maids’ rooms in the attic that have to be turned off in winter because of disuse. Secondary kitchens and butler’s pantries.

That’s why Alfred being the only servant left (or one of only a few) is so important. He’s one man in an entire empty wing.

My favorite thing about reading SabiGiyuu fanfiction is that it seems everyone agrees with these two things:

1. Sabito is a Giyuu simp (bitch me too)

2. Sabito is a fucking crackhead (no I will not elaborate)

Thanks for doing God's work.

True

My contempt towards a brand is directly proportional to how often they interrupt my playlists.

Aight, let me just finish my flower => ,\|/,

( <= green bean

Jason Todd's pain tolerance and responses

I like to think that whenever Tim and Jason patrol together people call them Robin Hood.

Like-

*Tim and Jay waiting for police to arrest some goons*: ...

Police officer: Thanks for this Robin Hood.

And, even better, Tim and Jason don't care.

Jason: no sweat.

Tim: see ya around officer.