Bart: What’s The Difference Between A Piano, A Tuna, And A Pot Of Glue?

I cannot explain this in words currently but Jaybart is Davekat coded, that is all

The canon LGBTAQ+ character of the day is:

You!!!

a most beloved scammer ❤️

Headcanon #99

Wally and Dick would love to sit down on some tall building and just watch the nightlife of whatever city they might be at, before when they were just starting in the young justice league is when Wally suggest using the zeta tubes and see the world and then they just stop exploring the cities and just watch them form up high. They would talk about just about everything and eat whatever snacks they had, or just sat in quite as the city noises filled the silence for them.

Then they were broken up they would accidentally find each other on a rooftop that called for them it would seem, the awkwardness was there and after serval accidental run-ins they just silently agree to just sit in silence since they just gravitate towards each other company. Sometimes they would share a drink and watch the lights.

After fixing their relationship starting out as friends and seeing where it goes they would joke around and begin taking jabs at each other in all fun, a night filled with laughter and shitty jokes only they got.

Bart despite popular thinking would be an introvert too, he is not the type of guy who is hyper flitting around the class and talking non-stop, you could even say that he is quiet and somewhat silent when he is in his normal life.

I am not saying that he is shy, because he would be the opposite but he is not burning in the emotion of adventure either.

Yeah like that's one of he things that both the fandom and Bendis got really wrong about Bart.

They said (In a Bendis Y.J. issue) that Bart liked to talk or use a lot of words or something--but as I recall when reading Impulse. He doesn't actually talk a whole lot. He's in his head daydreaming like a type of introvert.

Heck, believe it or not you could say Bart isn't actually that hyper. He just has super speed and an attention problem so it seems that way.

He's a much calmer than people think. He can get very emotional and have loud emotions like everyone else. But his default mode is actually quite calm and collected, at least on the outside.

Bart is one of those painfully misunderstood characters. But I guess you can say that about a lot of comic book characters now a days.

Even writers of his original era didn't quite get him. Cause he was more subtle and nuanced than anyone seems to give him credit for.

Like very now and again people seemed ticked off at me for not like Post-Deaths Tim that much besides under a specific writer, but that's cause most of those writers didn't get Tim and just plain got his personality wrong. Which is pretty valid of me. I don't get why people only assume bad characterization only happened within the last decade--

But I arguably don't even like most Bart stuff from the 90s themselves cause it seems like when Mark Waid isn't there, it's often that the character is completely butchered. I'd say Pete David is second best, but even he had moments where he botched it.

My man Bart deserves more respect. Like even more so than Tim what the fandom thinks of Bart is even more just so wildly believed that I can’t even find myself enjoying, well, nearly any fan art. Cause most of it’s just based on the assumption of who Bart is rather than what he’s actually like.

I think it would be funny if the speedsters claimed Duke as their own. Barry hears "light manipulation powers" and is like "Oh! So he's one of mine then :) thanks for looking after him Bruce, but I've got it from here :)"

Bruce is like no, you don't have it actually, he's just a meta, not a speedster, hey, give him BACK-

Meanwhile Duke is having the time of his life because speedsters are so much less intense??? And actually talk to each other most of the time? And AREN'T nocturnal (thank God)??? Duke's still a Gotham vigilante, sure, but he can get used to living in a city that isn't cursed. And help with his photokinesis because, as it turns out, it's very similar to some speedster traits. He appreciates Bruce’s help with everything non-powered, but it just feels nice to have this part of him actively cultivated by people who get it.

Like, sure, sometimes Bart can't bear to wear anything that covers his neck and talks at superspeed about unimaginable horrors of the future he came from with tears streaming down his face and a pained smile. Sure, some days Wally doesn't stop moving, dipping in and out of the Speed Force, because he says feels like if he stops, he'll fade away. Sure, every now and then, Barry can't bring himself to run because he fears that his speed will overwhelm him if he does.

Duke isn't perturbed. Just because it's a different flavor of trauma than the one he's used to doesn't mean he'll forget the basics. Speedsters talk a lot, eat a lot, and smile even more, but he can deal. Iris is amazing and kind and brave and warm and yeah, he cries a bit when she asks him what he's wearing for the family photo.

Duke shuffles nervously, "You know, you don't need to be so...nice to me. I get it if you don't want the kid your husband, nephew, and grandson took on as a joke."

Iris looks at him, smile utterly fond and tinged with mild confusion, "Duke, I'm not doing this because they like you- or, rather, it does play a part in it. But you're an amazing, kind, brave young man, and we're honored that you chose to stay."

"...oh," Duke's eyes are watering a bit. It's probably allergies—he didn't have any in Gotham, but he isn't used to fresh air yet. Not emotions. Nope. Not him.

"Yeah, oh," Iris says, giving him an amused glance, "now, the picture isn't going on the Christmas card because we aren't that white, but it'll be up on the mantle, if you don't mind."

Gotham's underworld whispers, it asks, "what did the Bat do to turn away his newest Bird?"

Gotham's upper class mutter with false sympathy, "did Brucie manage to turn away another one of his children? It really is a pattern with him, poor boy."

Dick's happy Duke is finally branching out to other heroes and not staying in the little Gotham-bubble. Tim reassures Bruce that it's just Duke growing up, and that he'll come home eventually like they all did.

Maybe it's because Tim and Dick both trust their speedsters with not only their lives, but their family's own as well, but they're unbothered by Duke choosing the Flash as his favorite hero.

Damian hates being the only kid constantly in the house again, so he overcompensates by loudly going to the Kents whenever he can.

Duke didn't even abandon them; he still lives in the Manor and goes to school in Gotham. He just spends most weekends and a night or two during the week in Central. He assumes nobody cares because nobody complains to him until one night at dinner when he mentions that Wally wants to take him for a week-long trip at the start of summer break, and Damian slams down his fork.

"You aren't going," Damian seethes.

Duke raises an eyebrow, looking to Bruce. Bruce looks pained. "You've been spending a lot of time with the Allens lately, Duke."

"Yeah, 'cause they're cool."

"Oh, so we're too incompetent for you, Thomas?" Damian snaps accusingly.

"Woah, woah, woah, I never said-"

Tim groans, having being bribed to attend Sunday dinner, "can we not do this now? I promised I'd help Kon with something before patrol."

"I agree," Dick cuts in, "just let Duke go-"

"HE'S NOT GOING!"

"Old man, just let the kid go," Jason sighs wearily, eyeing Damian, "it's just a week. I'm sure you'd enjoy the peace and quiet 'round here."

Duke throws his hands up in the air, "thank you!"

"Been a lot of that lately," Cass mutters, poking at her food. So she's not all that excited another one of her little brothers is growing up. Can you blame her?

"Oh my God," Steph says, realization dawning with a near-wicked grin, "are you guys jealous?"

"I am not so juvenile as to-"

"Jealousy is a strong word-"

"Yes," Cass says.

Duke finds it absolutely hilarious that they're jealous of what is essentially just hanging out at a friend's place and with his family.

"They could've just told me," Duke rants, incredulous.

"They're Bats," Wally wiggles his fingers in a vague motion, "not communicating is their thing."

"Not me this time," Dick says cheerily, "take care of my little brother, West."

"Or we'll break both your legs," Tim adds.

Barry mock-salutes, "yessir."

Bart’s time in the future

Okay, so let me get this all straight for those of you who don't know comic Bart or at all: Bart Allen's dad was gone and his mom couldn't take care of him constantly being on the run, so he was basically a lab rat for a scientific facility since... b i r t h just about. He was put into VR as a sort of sedative and to keep up with his vastily progressive mind and body since he aged about 200x the average person. (By the time he was three he looked 13) But in a way, speedsters have this kinda "dog years" effect in that everything in the world for them is slowed because that's just the way they see everything. So, in technicallity, while the scientists only had him for three or four years, to Bart it was 16??? And don't get me stArTed on the physical and pshycological effect of that. He never saw another living person until he was 16. He never had any kind of physical contact until he was 16. Could you even imagine?? No wonder the kid is so touch starved. (I feel like him and Kon bond over the fact they're younger than their bodies progression but besides the point). So he's been in this facility for 16 years, spends all that time in a Virtual false reality where his only friend was some weird VR program named Dox, which is probably symbolysim for the doctors that experimented on him when he was put under, and which he named his dog after, he's never felt affection or talked to people outside of that, never got a chance to meet his parents, has more villain relatives then Hero and STILL didn't go to the dark side after THAT?? Can still show off the best fake smiles and persona front after all that?? Had to endure more than MOST EVERYONE in only THREE YEARS which was actually SIXTEEN and STILL is GOOD?? You cannot tell me that this is the bravest kid you've ever read about, you cannot. And even with all that, he finds it in himself to forgive many of those who've wronged him. Listen, Bart Allen is by far the most amazing character I know and you can fight me on this. He's been through more than all the Batfam COMBINED. If he wasn't so bright and cheery, I bet Bruce would've adopted him. (another thing I forgot to mention, the fact Wally practically gave Bart away to Max and made the kid feel unwanted, even though Max became like the only crutch Bart had/a father figure, not even Barry wanted him when he returned from the dead. Assholes) He's died FIVE TIMES and he's still a hero. He's experienced this over and over, and still is a hero. He left his home and practically erased it's existence so now he's a time anomaly, who doesn't really fit in anywhere in time, and is still a hero. Fuck your favourite angst characters, Bart Allen takes all the cake.

Tim Drake

Putting the annoyed in paranoid since the day he was birthed

If you think Tim wouldn’t use Bart’s eidetic memory to his advantage then you thought wrong

Tim: Bart, progress report.

Bart: *goes into a long and detailed spiel about the mission word for word how Tim wrote it looking bored the entire time*

Tim, in the middle of battle: I need the file on [insert villain name]

Bart: *recites the strengths and weaknesses off the top of his head like a pro*

Friendly reminder that English wasn’t Bart’s first language.