Rossi : You Shouldn't Use A Straw.

JJ : I want someone strong, beautiful, not dramatic, smart-

Emily, in the background : punches her mug because she choked on her coffee, and how dare it tries to kill her.

JJ : This one. I want this one.

While discussing a case :

Rossi : Well, in my experience over the years..

Emily : Rossi, the most experienced things you have is to get on my nerves. And cook pasta.

The BAU , on fire because of the adults-children

Random agent : You're so chill

Hotch, sipping his coffee : Thanks, I gave up.

Rossi : I have a bad feeling.

Emily : What do you mean ?

Rossi : Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if something is going to get you into trouble and not to do it ?

Reid : ..No ?

Emily : I have a little voice, but she says the contrary.

Rossi : ..That actually explains so much.

JJ : Emily, you can't do that, it's against the law !

Emily, doing it anyway : I AM THE LAW !

JJ : Damn what made you like this ?

Hotch : What is your date of birth ?

Derek : June 6

Hotch : What year ?

Derek : ..Every year ?

Emily : What are you, five ?

Morgan : Yeah, five heads taller than you.

Emily :

Morgan :

Emily :

Morgan : ᴾˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵏᶦˡˡ ᵐᵉ

Emily : Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot

The BAU on the jet, returning home after a difficult case :

Morgan : You've been on the phone since we left, what are you doing ?

Reid : I'm trying to cancel my liFE SUBSCRIPTION

JJ : Why is Morgan hiding in my office ?

Reid : He broke his spaghetti before putting them in the water.

JJ : ..And ?

Reid : He did it in front of Rossi.

Rossi, bursting into JJ's office : COME HERE STRONZETTO-

Morgan : screams sharply and terrified