I Need To Get This Cringe Out Of My System.,

laptop recently got repaired for $90 I spend a few days happily doodling designs for my continuity:) the tablet I've had for two years stops working

christ wants me dead specifically

Earthspark theorycrafting time

Okay okay it's time for my favorite part of new TF content which is: wild extrapolation of what little we know into a house of theoretical cards which will no doubt be wiped out by the next episode to drop. Spoilers for the first 10 episodes of Earthspark abound after the cut, obviously.

So, without further ado: something is rotten in the town of Witwicky.

We don't know much about the war. Not why it was fought, or what exactly happened in it, or how it came to end—only that the spacebridge connecting Earth and Cybertron was destroyed, and according to Alex's simplified G1-esque retelling, Megatron just went "hey maybe Optimus has a point that we should stop fighting and preserve what's left of our race" and teamed up with the Autobots to end the war.

Just Megatron. Not a single other Decepticon. Not even ever-loyal Soundwave followed his lead. Even if we accept that the retelling is a highly sanitized and manicured version of what actually happened (like the thing about how Bumblebee totally disappeared forever), it's a very strange thing, isn't it?

We'll come back to this.

In any case, Cybertronians have been on Earth for thirty years. Megatron has been cooperating with Optimus for fifteen of them. The Decepticons are implied to have been in bad condition by the end of the war (Soundwave, malfunctioning in starvation, and a cassette exploding inside him. Rumble or Buzzsaw, presumably. RIP.), and rogue Decepticons are still scrambling to feed themselves in the present day.

In the very first scene of episode 1, Swindle and Hardtop are lured into an Autobot trap baited with a few (rectangles???) of energon. Sure, it's stealing, but they're not actually doing anything wrong here but trying to feed themselves. Still, it's made clear their choice is to fight and flee or surrender and go to prison forever. No third option.

Swindle escapes when the chase is interrupted by spiderbots, but Hardtop is captured. Optimus notes the spiders aren't of Cybertronian make and wonders if this has anything to do with rumors Decepticons are going missing (yes).

Later, Dot Malto comes across the convoy's wreckage. Elita-1 and Optimus arrive, only to inform Dot that the park ranger job she thought she had—the one she moved to Witwicky specifically for—was a lie and that she's actually working for the secret US military agency GHOST. As you might guess, Dot does not like this.

Interestingly, she says she doesn't work 'for the Autobots' anymore. It's not the military she has the most problem with, but them. This may or may not have to do with the much-later-referenced battle of the bay, in which the Autobots did a lot of architectural damage and she was badly injured. Either way, whatever trust was once there is broken.

Then of course Megs makes his entrance. Dot's resentment for Autobots doesn't extend to him—curious, given that in Alex's G1 story they were 'heroic Autobots' and 'evil decepticons', and Dot was a soldier there to see it all firsthand.

Megs and Dorothy are immediately and obviously old friends, and both of them on better terms with each other than with Optimus. Heck, they have names for each other no one else uses. Human buddy acquired!

Megatron: GHOST isn't a perfect ally, but Optimus believes they'll help our kind make a home on Earth. Dot: Optimus always sees the bright side. Even when there isn't one. Megatron: Don't be so hard on him, Dorothy. Clearly we've had disagreements, but when I joined the Autobots to end the war, I saw that Optimus always does what he believes is right. No matter the personal cost.

Note, not 'what's right'. 'What he believes is right', no matter the cost. Cut to Dot frowning down at the ominously-shaped GHOST logo on the overturned truck. Hmmmm.jpg.

Meanwhile, the abducted Hardtop is being stripped for parts by the evil Mandroid (okay, his name's actually Dr. Meridian. Did you remember that off the top of your head? No you didn't. Mandroid it is).

Mandroid commands the spiderbots (arachnamechs), hates Cybertronians in general and wants them off Earth, is the one who's been disappearing Decepticons, and has just welded Hardtop's arm onto his own shoulder. Hardtop, as you might guess, is not happy to be here and says when Swindle shows up they'll beat him up. This isn't gonna happen, but we'll come back to that later.

Meanwhile, after a spiderbot battle, the Autobots find out about the new kids but don't know exactly who or what they are. Optimus says he'll contact GHOST to take Twitch and Thrash to HQ for safety (he doesn't question why the truck turns up like three seconds later). Optimus promises to keep them very, very safe, and Dot tells Mo they can trust Optimus, even though we know in general that she doesn't.

Surprise, the truck driver is Mandroid and the robot kids have been abducted. Who saw that coming? Two scenes later, Optimus has to come over like 'oops GHOST has no record of that truck, they could be anywhere, my bad'.

Wow, could it be? Maybe blindly trusting Optimus Prime all the time isn't a great idea? 🤔

Meanwhile, Mandroid is interrogating Twitch and Thrash on their origins, and when that doesn't provide much intel, straps them in for dissection under a very large and many-pointy-limbed device (with a laser on it too, naturally).

The autobots show up to rescue them. When the spiderbots aren't enough to repel them, Mandroid summons some Decepticons to help fight the Autobots off: Skullcruncher, Shrapnel, Hardtop, and Bombshell. This is where we get our first clue about what's going on here, but only if you know the Transformers Lore™. Again, we'll come back to this later.

Elita-1 (fighting Hardtop): Your heart's not in this, is it? Elita-1: Brain, either.

Then Bee shows up to help, as it turns out he didn't disappear forever (surprise!). In the end, all the Decepticons are captured.

Hardtop: Honest, I don't know what came over me. I'd never fight you, Megatron! No matter what side you're on!

And then there's this odd little moment. Blink and you'll miss it, because it continues into a cut where Megatron helps Dot down from his shoulder. In response to Hardtop's words, Megatron shoves him, then... Looks at his cannon.

Hmmm.jpg x2 🤔

This segues into family time and Dot insisting Twitch and Thrash stay with them, which Optimus is glad to hear. Also he doesn't want GHOST to know Bumblebee is alive. Seems like he doesn't fully trust them either.

...And now that we're out of the ep 1-2 two parter I can skim over most of the rest of the episodes, as, for better or worse, Earthspark is in large part the 'kids and robots petting cows and family game night' show with larger events happening in the background somewhere.

A few significant moments:

-Optimus, Elita-1, and Megatron hang out all domestic-like in the secret GHOST base under Dot's ranger station, presumably. You know. The one with the Decepticon prison in it, where they're all kept until, as OP says, there's a better option available.

-Alex insinuates he used to know Dr. Meridian during the war, and presumably was another science team guy before he retired to teach.

-Swindle breaks into a GHOST convoy to steal an energon scanner that could give him a lead on finding Hardtop but can't get through the forcefield, so scams Mo and Thrash into helping him. When the kids' parents find out:

Dot: You're different from Swindle! Cons weren't born into that life, they chose it. And anyone who wears that badge? Can't be trusted.

Mo: They aren't all bad. Right, mom? You're friends with Megatron.

Dot: That's different. Megatron has truly changed.

Has he, now? But again, just him and no others. And depending what kind of Decepticon backstory we're dealing with in this continuity, saying all Decepticons are evil and chose to be so is a hmmm.jpg x3. What's our IDW1 (or even TF:P) proximity here?

-Some random GHOST trainee almost shoots a kid

-The kids fall into a pit trap and Optimus gets some extremely ominous framing

-Optimus Hides the kids from GHOST inside his trailer, inside the GHOST base. Because Optimus Prime makes bad decisions.

Dot: Cheesy footage of Autobots helping humans build a bridge. Not very subtle. And what exactly does GHOST do with the Decepticons you catch? Optimus: That's classified. I'm sorry. Dot: Bots and humans working together is wonderful, but why the secrecy? And the hard sell? You sure you're on the right team, OP?

-Megatron refuses to use his cannon against the cassettes for 'childish pranks'. Optimus calls them criminals. Bee shows up with restraining bolts to mode lock the cassettes and Megs is disgusted.

Megatron: I will never touch those... Things. Optimus: A means to an end, Megatron: safely transporting our quarry to GHOST. Megatron: Optimus, does it not concern you that our human allies control where Decepticons live, and what form they take? Even in times of so-called peace? This is not freedom.

It's enough to start an argument between OP and Megs about the way the Decepticons are being treated, in which Megatron says I gave you my fealty to save our people, which is a very interesting choice of words. Fealty, as of an oath of service and obedience to a liege lord. This is not an equal bargain.

Later, battling Soundwave, Soundwave repeats his own words to him. This is not freedom. He calls Megatron traitor—and Megatron, about to fire, stops and looks shocked: as if the idea that to the Decepticons he is a traitor is somehow a new thought.

Add another hmm.jpg to the pile.

Later on, Skywarp and Nova Storm show up intent on stealing Optimus' arm for Mandroid. Hardtop's wasn't good enough, apparently.

Optimus: They want my left arm like their lives depend on it!

And you know what? When the two of them fail in their mission and Mandroid says he'll dissect them, they don't even try to fight that small squishy human. Wow, weird. And when we find out the terran bots were created via an artifact left behind by Quintus Prime, his squiddy little logo certainly doesn't resemble an upside down spiderbot at all. :)

But now we come to the really interesting part. Dot and Megatron are captured by Mandroid and the following conversation ensues:

Mandroid: Let me begin again. Conversation is difficult, after my time in the war.

Dot: You served too?

Mandroid: My contribution was scientific. I was drafted by GHOST to toil in their robotics laboratory. After a year of laboring on projects I detested, Decepticons attacked San Francisco. Dot: Yeah, I remember. I led an infantry platoon at the battle of the bay. Mandroid: Then perhaps you remember the Autobots' friendly fire destroying buildings. My arachnamechs dragged me to safety, saving me the only way they knew how. I came away with... Souvenirs.

You know what I think?

I think it's real suspicious that Hardtop went from wanting to kill Mandroid to doing his bidding without seeming to even understand why. I think it's suspicious that all those other Decepticons did too—they might stick around for fuel, sure, but not to protest even under threat of dissection?

Why did Megatron turn his back on his loyal army in such a way that none of them followed? Why did they go to ground rather than attempt switching sides? When did it become clear that there would be no switching sides, only life imprisonment for those who surrendered?

But not for Megatron—who has sworn fealty, who 'has truly changed' who is tame and obedient. The sole exception.

Remember episodes one and two? Remember who one of Mandroid's tame Decepticon squad was? Bombshell. You know what Bombshell's whole thing is in the lore? Mind control. Do you know what other two motifs are strongly associated with mind control in the Transformers lore?

Spiders.

Needles.

The biggest hmmmmm.jpg imaginable 🤔

I think maybe the emberstone wasn't the only thing Quintus Prime left behind. I think GHOST found whatever that bit of lost technology was during the war, and Mandroid reverse engineered it into the arachnamechs and the 'projects he detested'. You know who recognized who Quintus Prime was without even thinking about it? Alex, who once worked with him.

I think one day Megatron was captured, bolted to a table in a dark room, and came back different. I think Optimus was too happy about that change to ask too many questions, and GHOST would have done the same to the rest of the Decepticons if not for losing Dr. Meridian in the battle of the bay—and with him, all his research. Mandroid doesn't care about turning the Decepticons peaceful anymore, only using them as a means to the end of Cybertronian destruction.

Now all GHOST can do is capture Decepticons and lock them up until there's Optimus' 'better way': until they can reverse engineer Mandroid's work and shadowplay the rest of them into good little productive citizens... And hope their hold on Megatron doesn't break before then.

Never trust a mech with his needles in your neck. :)

Finally got around to making a commission sheet :3

Mecha are a tad more expensive because they’re more difficult for me to draw, but I will draw them

DM if interested, payment through Paypal only

here are my mario movie predictions - the plot is either mario and luigi's origin story, or it's about mario being disillusioned with having to rescue peach again - mario kart reference in a chase scene - art style is super bright and plasticy with hyperrealistic irises. all the hair is blobs with realistic texture and a couple loose hairs - peach's joke is that she almost gets angry a lot and then right at the climax of the movie she'll get angry at the bad guy and make this expression

and everyone will go Ummm Awkward... I Wouldnt Wanna Get On Her Bad Side - donkey kong isn't a permanent companion, just in one donkey kong section where all his obscure relatives are mentioned as a throwaway joke - bowser is initially presented as the villain but then bowser and mario's gang have to team up to defeat the real villain. there will be a joke along the lines of "well we play golf/karts/sports with you all the time" - there will be one reference to the mario rpgs and everyone will lose their minds - there will be one reference to a mario meme. if we're lucky it will be like, a hotel mario one. - there will be a youtuber in this, at least a reference to a youtuber. - luigi's arc is that he has an inferiority complex compared to mario. they will have a falling out that gets repaired within 7 minutes

I love him so much and am mentally ill

All right, NEW NEW CHALLENGE!!

100 reblogs and 80 likes for a What if... Thrash got a squirrel Alt mode!!

Sketches under the cut

Hashtag should not have unlimited access to the internet and Frenzy definitely shouldn't either

I apologize if I unlock a memory with this

WHAT A DAY

excuse me i’ll just leave this here

Fat fuck's taken over my brain