A Lot Of People (esp. Americans) Make Fun Of British Cuisine And Most Of The Time It’s Fair, But A

*sidles up to you at the bar* would you like to hear my wise aphorism

Doctor: $140,000 a year

Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year

Oh lookie here, somebody’s tying to reap the rewards of being loved without subjecting themselves to the mortifying ordeal of being known

Last night I had a dream I woke up to find that my house had been turned into a Smart House with every wall being a digital screen including the roof so I could see it even laying on bed and the Siri voice said “Don’t worry. You are perfectly safe in your Apple Smart Home™️” knowing I have a BIG phobia of intruders especially at night and it continued with “Let’s explore the neighborhood from the comfort of your home” so it opened google maps and accidentally zoomed past a shitty jpeg of the girl from The Ring standing outside my house and it said “ignore that”. woke up laughing

this post is for all the tumblr users like me who left the safe haven of the motherland, tempted by the glamor of the big city (twitter) and are now realizing just how foolish you once were

hahahaha you dumb fucking bitch welcome back

did it hurt? to feel your soul dying in your chest as the glimpses of your dreams of fame and stardom dissipated like fog? now that you've disavowed your former home, you expect to be welcomed back with open arms? to see all the notes from people you never knew were there, praising you? missing you? for shame, homewrecker. Welcome home, cheater...... anyways nice art babe you should really open up commissions <3

i first met her in a dream

A hungry witch named Gertrud! part of a lil species of mine based on those old fashioned depictions of witches~

disappearing like the roanoke colonists but carving "I NEED A FAT BITCH" into a tree instead of "CROATOAN"

GRAAAA REVIVING MY ACCOUNT anyways have a slight redesign of my emo bird brawler sebastian :D