“Are you the witch who turned eleven princes into swans?”
The old woman stared at the figure on the front step of her cottage and considered her options. It was the kind of question usually backed up by a mob with meaningful torches, and it was the kind of question she tried to avoid.
Coming from a single dusty, tired housewife, it should’ve held no terrors.
“You a cop?”
The housewife twisted the hem of her apron. “No,” she muttered. “I’m a swan.”
A raven croaked somewhere in the woods. Wind whispered in the autumn leaves.
Then: “I think I can guess,” the old woman said slowly. “Husband stole your swan skin and forced you to marry him?”
A nod.
“And you can’t turn back into a swan until you find your skin again.”
A nod.
“But I reckon he’s hidden it, or burned it, or keeps it locked up so you can’t touch it.”
A tiny, miserable nod.
“And then you hear that old Granny Rothbart who lives out in the woods is really a batty old witch whose father taught her how to turn princes into swans,” the old woman sighed. “And you think, ‘Hey, stuff the old skin, I can just turn into a swan again this way.’
“But even if that was true – which I haven’t said if it is or if it isn’t – I’d say that I can only do it to make people miserable. I’m an awful person. I can’t do it out of the goodness of my heart. I have no goodness. I can’t use magic to make you feel better. I only wish I could.”
Another pause. “If I was a witch,” she added.
The housewife chewed the inside of her cheek. Then she drew herself up and, for the first time, looked the old woman in the eyes.
“Can you do it to make my husband miserable?”
The old woman considered her options. Then she pulled the wand out from the umbrella stand by the door. It was long, and silver, and a tiny glass swan with open wings stood perched on the tip.
“I can work with that,” said the witch.
It's April 1st today and in the light of april fools day i'd like to announce my opinion of this day being sacred to Hermes
The plot structures of movies need to start taking more cues from classic opera. Open with a fucker in a hat who directly addresses the audience and explains what's going on in a way that raises far more questions than it answers, then immediately drop the viewer into the middle of a shouting argument between three of the weirdest people you can possibly imagine.
Jupiter Enthroned, Heinrich Friedrich Füger
To forge your own manhood is to become divinity itself
Knightly lifestyle ideas. Part 2
• Perform your daily duties with immaculate discipline, be it personal hygiene or work obligations
• Research historical attire of nobility in your country and incorporate it's elements in your wardrobe
• Bandaging your bloody knuckles after a fight
• Treat your beloved like royalty; shower him in gestures of affection both grand and small
• Partake in ballroom dancing such as waltz, tango or foxtrot
• Thy mind is thy weapon. Keep it sharp by reading difficult books, learning foreign languages and taking online courses
• Pursue raw strength over aesthetics when working out
• Know your roots — learn about the history of your family and where you come from
• Give alms to the poor and the homeless whenever you're able
• Your car is your noble steed, — do not chase after the latest model, but treat the one you have with utmost care
• Master social etiquette, true knight knows the art of conversation is no less important than the art of combat
• Kissing his hand as a way of saying hello
• Be a defender & protector of your community: oppose the bigoted and educate the ignorant
• Sturdy military boots that will last you many years
• Commission a family portrait from your local artist as a way to honour your lineage
• Wearing your beloved's keepsake when he is far away
• Know the basics of survival in the wilderness, — how to read a map, how to start a fire, which plants are toxic etc.
• Go on a pilgrimage to historical sights of your hometown and feel one with the generations that had lived before you
• Master your ego. It is unbefitting of a knight to lose his temper over the smallest things
• Learn and practice first aid skills regularly, it might save someone's life
• Stay involved in your local government's policies. Exercise your rights as a citizen when needed
• Have the courage to ask for help when the challenges you face seem insurmountable
• True modern-day nobility lies in always striving to be better — better father, better husband, better friend, and most of all, a better man
Listen, I have seen many a posts to the tune of "Hozier is a fae god!" Or "Florence is a fae god!" And I am here to tell you that neither of them are fae gods. Paramours, probably, maybe members of an Entourage, but gods? No.
You want to know who an actual fucking fae god is???
Kendrick Lamar.
The pettiness. The creativity. The persuasiveness. The accuracy. He had 110 million people across the nation today singing "a minooooor" like it was fucking nothing. This man has cast a thousand-year curse on Aubrey Graham's bloodline that cannot be undone through mortal means.
Now, THAT is some fae god level shit.