I Learned About Tim Wong Who Successfully And Singlehandedly Repopulated The Rare California Pipevine

the illustration // the inspiration

did you know sometimes the holy trinity was represented as a trio of hares in medieval manuscripts? man I love history

Stickers here

Rabbits between the staves. Cambrai BM 125-128, c. 1540-50

My morning glory doesn’t like the wind chime

unfortunately i do believe posthaste is one of the funniest words out there. how quick am i doing something? fast as fuck my good sir

I find supreme comfort in knowing that no matter what I fuck up, answering "well, what are you gonna do about it?" is always an option. Most people are not capable, willing, or emotionally prepared to commit enough physical violence to physically force me to stop doing whatever the fuck I'm doing, and now we both know it.

Listen, I have seen many a posts to the tune of "Hozier is a fae god!" Or "Florence is a fae god!" And I am here to tell you that neither of them are fae gods. Paramours, probably, maybe members of an Entourage, but gods? No.

You want to know who an actual fucking fae god is???

Kendrick Lamar.

The pettiness. The creativity. The persuasiveness. The accuracy. He had 110 million people across the nation today singing "a minooooor" like it was fucking nothing. This man has cast a thousand-year curse on Aubrey Graham's bloodline that cannot be undone through mortal means.

Now, THAT is some fae god level shit.

You can tell when someone’s frame of reference for “normal people” is more “people at the church sponsored ice cream social” and less “people on the bus”

The novel ones are all real situations in my novels by the way, the screenwriting one are complied from friends and my own experiences.

Funnily enough, I actually prefer writing screenplays because of the limits. My novels are fantastical magical other worlds with dragons and sorcerers, but my screenplays are mostly realist family comedy-dramas.

(Except the Baby’s First Steampunk Horror and The Mystery Series Set in an Asylum For Were-People, but they’re exceptions)

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

The thing about a Midwestern politician calling people "weird," isn't just that "weird" means "anti-social" in Midwestern-ese, it's that commenting on behavior at all is a condemnation. Midwesterners turn the most neutral statements into scorching disapproval.

In Appalachia, they will come up with the more colorful, creative metaphor or simile imaginable. In the South, they will use some phrase that has 3-5 different meanings that it's legitimately used in so they have plausible deniability to tell someone else they just read the situation and usage wrong.

But Midwesterners are mostly "keep your eyes on your own paper" people. We can be helpful and kind, but for the most part, we are just not gonna comment on what you are doing for good or ill. Most of us do not take compliments any better than insults. There's a lot of tall poppy syndrome around.

So if Midwesterners comment, that comment means, "I am Noticing what you are doing, and I had damned well better Stop Noticing it right quick."

It's why "weird" means "anti-social." It means, "This stands out, and it stands out so much I'm going to have to say something despite everything in me telling me to mind my own business."

It's why you hear us say things like, "Well, that's different," and "Isn't that something," and "He's doing his best, isn't he?" and, "They're just weird." It is all said with the most skepticism possible.