Jesus Would've Hung Out With Furries In High School If He Were Born In 1998 And Subject To The American

List of 120 unique fantasy jobs to give to your fantasy characters. Writers save this!

1. Spellscribe: Weaves magic into ink, creating enchanted scrolls and spellbooks.

2. Dreamweaver: Shapes dreams, ensuring a peaceful slumber for all.

3. Star Cartographer: Maps constellations and celestial paths.

4. Potion Alchemist: Brews elixirs, love potions, and invisibility brews.

5. Whispering Wind Courier: Carries messages on ethereal zephyrs.

6. Crystal Harmonist: Plays melodies on gemstone xylophones.

7. Arcane Librarian: Guards forbidden tomes and ancient grimoires.

8. Stormcaller: Commands lightning and tempests.

9. Shadow Weaver: Manipulates shadows for stealth or illusion.

10. Fey Ambassador: Bridges the gap between humans and fae.

11. Time Tinkerer: Repairs temporal rifts and broken clocks.

12. Soul Gardener: Tends to souls in the afterlife.

13. Dragon Whisperer: Communicates with fire-breathing beasts.

14. Labyrinth Architect: Designs mazes with shifting walls.

15. Aetheronaut: Pilots airships through the skies.

16. Cauldron Chef: Cooks magical stews and enchanted pastries.

17. Goblin Negotiator: Haggles with mischievous goblins over stolen treasures.

18. Wisp Shepherd: Herds glowing wisps across moonlit meadows.

19. Constellation Painter: Dips brushes in stardust to create cosmic art.

20. Swordsmith of Destiny: Forges blades with prophetic properties.

21. Oracle of Riddles: Answers questions through cryptic puzzles.

22. Moss Whisperer: Encourages moss-covered stones to share their secrets.

23. Harvest Moon Dancer: Leads celestial dances during lunar eclipses.

24. Chimera Veterinarian: Cares for mythical hybrid creatures.

25. Lore Bard: Sings epic sagas of forgotten heroes.

26. Stardust Prospector: Mines cosmic minerals from fallen meteors.

27. Mistwalker: Guides lost souls through foggy moors.

28. Enchanted Cobbler: Crafts shoes that grant extraordinary abilities.

29. Celestial Clockmaker: Constructs timepieces powered by starlight.

30. Gargoyle Sculptor: Carves stone guardians with hidden sentience.

31. Wandmaker: Whittles wands from ancient tree branches.

32. Mermaid Translator: Deciphers underwater songs and sea whispers.

33. Nightshade Apothecary: Harvests moonflowers and midnight herbs.

34. Serpent Charmer: Mesmerizes serpents with haunting melodies.

35. Skyship Navigator: Charts courses through floating islands.

36. Frostfire Sculptor: Shapes ice and flame into ephemeral statues.

37. Cursed Cursebreaker: Lifts hexes and breaks enchantments.

38. Goblin Archaeologist: Digs up lost goblin civilizations.

39. Sylph Perfumer: Captures the essence of zephyrs in fragrances.

40. Mystic Cartographer: Maps hidden ley lines and magical nexuses.

41. Moonstone Miner: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns.

42. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons.

43. Candlemaker of Lost Hopes: Creates candles that reveal forgotten memories.

44. Starwhisper Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—comets' paths, shooting star trails, and celestial alignments.

45. Gloomsmith: Crafts melancholic artifacts—music boxes that play haunting melodies, mirrors that reflect lost loves, and inkwells that pen tear-stained poetry.

46. Siren Songstress: Sings enchanting melodies by moonlit shores, luring sailors toward rocky fates or guiding them safely through treacherous waters.

47. Astral Weaver: Spins threads from stardust, creating cloaks that grant glimpses of alternate realities or tapestries that depict forgotten legends.

48. Cryptobotanist: Studies otherworldly flora—glow-in-the-dark mushrooms, singing vines, and moonblossoms that bloom only during eclipses.

49. Soothsayer: Reads the future in tea leaves, cloud formations, or the patterns of fireflies. Their predictions shape destinies.

50. Stormglass Sculptor: Carves intricate sculptures from stormglass—frozen lightning, raindrop chandeliers, and thunderstorm dioramas.

51. Wispkeeper: Tends to wisps—tiny, glowing spirits that flit through forests. They bottle wisp-light for healing potions.

52. Eidolon Portraitist: Paints portraits of ghosts, capturing their essence before they fade into oblivion.

53. Moss Oracle: Listens to moss-covered stones, deciphering their murmurs to reveal lost histories.

54. Labyrinth Minstrel: Wanders through shifting mazes, singing songs that guide lost travelers to safety.

55. Frostbite Healer: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns.

56. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons.

57. Candlemaker of Lost Hopes: Creates candles that reveal forgotten memories.

58. Starwhisper Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—comets’ paths, shooting star trails, and celestial alignments. Their charts guide explorers to hidden constellations.

59. Gloomsmith: Crafts melancholic artifacts—music boxes that play haunting melodies, mirrors that reflect lost loves, and inkwells that pen tear-stained poetry.

60. Siren Songstress: Sings enchanting melodies by moonlit shores, luring sailors toward rocky fates or guiding them safely through treacherous waters.

61. Astral Weaver: Spins threads from stardust, creating cloaks that grant glimpses of alternate realities or tapestries that depict forgotten legends.

62. Cryptobotanist: Studies otherworldly flora—glow-in-the-dark mushrooms, singing vines, and moonblossoms that bloom only during eclipses.

63. Soothsayer: Reads the future in tea leaves, cloud formations, or the patterns of fireflies. Their predictions shape destinies.

64. Stormglass Sculptor: Carves intricate sculptures from stormglass—frozen lightning, raindrop chandeliers, and thunderstorm dioramas.

65. Wispkeeper: Tends to wisps—tiny, glowing spirits that flit through forests. They bottle wisp-light for healing potions.

66. Eidolon Portraitist: Paints portraits of ghosts, capturing their essence before they fade into oblivion.

67. Moss Oracle: Listens to moss-covered stones, deciphering their murmurs to reveal lost histories.

68. Labyrinth Minstrel: Wanders through shifting mazes, singing songs that guide lost travelers to safety.

69. Frostbite Healer: Treats frostbitten extremities with salves made from frost sprites’ tears.

70. Chalice Enchanter: Carves runes into crystal goblets, infusing each sip with memories or emotions.

71. Goblin Archaeologist: Digs up lost goblin civilizations, unearthing rusty gadgets and cryptic hieroglyphs.

72. Sylph Perfumer: Captures the essence of zephyrs in fragrances—dawn mist, thunderstorm ozone, and moonrise musk.

73. Mystic Cartographer: Maps hidden ley lines and magical nexuses. Their charts reveal portals and ley-gates.

74. Moonstone Miner: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns, which can be used for enchantments or as lantern fuel.

75. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons for aerial patrols or epic quests.

76. Candlemaker of Whispers: Crafts candles that flicker with spectral flames, allowing communication with the departed.

77. Stardust Prospector: Mines cosmic minerals from fallen meteors—star iron, comet opals, and nebula gems.

78. Golem Animator: Breathes life into clay and stone constructs, imbuing them with purpose.

79. Wraith Whisperer: Communicates with restless spirits, negotiating unfinished business.

80. Celestial Navigator: Guides ships by star charts, steering vessels through astral currents.

81. Chaos Theorist: Predicts chaotic events using butterfly-wing equations, preventing or exploiting chaos.

82. Fairy Ring Dancer: Enters mystical circles to converse with fairies, striking bargains or seeking wisdom.

83. Banshee Lullaby Singer: Soothes grieving souls with haunting songs, easing their passage to the beyond.

84. Goblin Diplomat: Negotiates peace treaties between realms, balancing goblin mischief and human interests.

85. Veilwalker: Steps between dimensions using shimmering veils, exploring parallel worlds.

86. Moonshard Weaver: Threads moonstone shards into cloaks that grant moonwalking abilities.

87. Gryphon Whisperer: Communicates with gryphons through empathic bonds.

88. Cursed Curator: Collects cursed artifacts, safeguarding them in hidden vaults.

89. Sphinx Riddler: Poses enigmas to travelers seeking wisdom, granting answers in exchange for riddles.

90. Bard of Echoes: Sings songs that echo through time, preserving forgotten tales.

91. Goblin Inventor: Constructs whimsical gadgets—umbrellas that predict rain, shoes that dance, and hats that translate squirrel chatter.

92. Serpent Astronomer: Studies cosmic serpents—constellations that writhe across the sky.

93. Wisp Choreographer: Stages ethereal dances in moonlit glades, captivating forest creatures.

94. Lorekeeper of Lost Languages: Deciphers ancient scripts, unlocking forbidden knowledge.

95. Mistral Cartographer: Maps winds—trade winds, storm fronts, and zephyr currents.

96. Harbinger of Eclipses: Predicts solar and lunar eclipses, foretelling cosmic shifts.

97. Grimoire Illuminator: Adds luminescent runes to spellbooks, making incantations glow.

98. Nymph Whisperer: Listens to water nymphs’ laughter, translating it into healing melodies.

99. Celestial Harvester: Gathers stardust for celestial events—meteor showers, comet arrivals.

100. Goblin Mechanomancer: Constructs clockwork creatures—mechanical squirrels, steam-powered beetles.

101. Sylph Skyweaver: Spins cloud silk into airy garments that grant flight.

102. Oracle of Shifting Sands: Reads desert dunes, predicting sandstorms and mirages.

103. Moonmoth Keeper: Tends to moonmoths—luminous insects that guide lost travelers.

104. Gryphon Herald: Announces royal decrees from the backs of majestic gryphons.

105. Cauldron Seer: Gazes into bubbling cauldrons, glimpsing past, present, and future.

106. Whisperwood Arborist: Nurtures ancient trees that whisper forgotten secrets.

107. Stardust Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—supernovae, black holes, and quasars.

108. Goblin Clockmaker: Constructs timepieces with peculiar quirks—watches that run backward, hourglasses that pause.

109. Sphinx Scholar: Studies riddles, deciphering their hidden meanings.

110. Wisp Guardian: Protects sacred wisps from curious wanderers.

111.Labyrinth Keeper: Guards labyrinth entrances, ensuring only worthy seekers enter.

112. Frostfire Forger: Crafts weapons that blaze with icy flames.

113. Goblin Meteorologist: Predicts weather using enchanted barometers and cloud crystals.

114. Sylph Windwhisperer: Converses with gusts, learning their secrets.

115. Dreamcatcher Artisan: Weaves dreamcatchers that trap nightmares and release sweet dreams.

116. Celestial Herald: Announces cosmic events—comets, eclipses, and planetary alignments.

117. Grimoire Binder: Assembles spellbooks, binding them with dragonhide and phoenix feathers.

118. Nymph Songkeeper: Records water nymphs’ melodies, preserving them in enchanted shells.

119. Goblin Tinkerer: Repairs broken gadgets—flying broomsticks, talking teapots.

120. Starforged Smith: Hammers star fragments into celestial armor and swords.

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god i love how pitbulls are like

all I want is to have a room that looks like I'm old biology professor whose been away from human civilization for half a century in the forest who spends my evenings reading old books researching about cryptids with my cat surrounded by my many treasures and trinkets I've collected over the years and my many, many growing plants that nearly take over all of my house.

The monster hunter listened to the description.

"Yup, sounds like a bull ogre."

"Can you kill it?"

"Why?"

"You're a monster hunter!"

"What has it done, that I should kill it?"

"It's a monster!"

"We don't kill 'em for what they are. What's it done?"

"I… It is!"

"It's allowed."

(nothing between me and god except a thin panel of aquarium glass) ahem *bonk* hey *bonk* excuse me *loud thunk* i have questions about the nature of things

Sometimes I like to sit and experience the wild as it is. It is there where I am close to the gods. The gods are in the things which surround us and part of the process of the environment we live. It doesn't matter how urban or rural it is. It is there in which we can experience them and their presence. As the wind blows, the birds fly, the waters ripple, the earth smells. Just take it in.

I can’t stop thinking about this.

You have been sentenced to death in a magical court. The court allows all prisoners to pick how they die and they will carry it out immediately. You have it all figured out until the prisoner before you picks old age and is instantly transformed into a dying old man. Your turn approaches.