The Devil On My Ahoulder Telling Me To Make Posts That R 90% Tags 10% Text (i Will Do His Bidding)

Before i was born my mom heard news abt a yoing boy that fell into a river and went missing and was found dead later and she was so anxious the days leading up to my birth (probably not very healthy) and then AFTER my birth whej she got to hold me i lowkey wasnt breathing and i was just napping all the damn time and my parents were like woah this kid chill as hell!!!

And then apparently my mom had a fever and she called the doctor and was like “yo i have a fever like 45 degrees Celsius do i wait till it go down or do i hop in now?” And this doc was like “you stupid lady come in rigjt fucking now” and she went over and she mentioned that i was all chilled up n shit all the time and that i turned purple the other day and the doc stuck a Q tip up my nose and went to this machine and checked it and was like “go to the ER RIGHT NOW” anf she was like damn ok waddup.

And them docs were liek “yo we gotta put this kid in a coma to help his breathjing” and my mom fraaked out big time cuz she thought i was boutta die and my entire extended family+family friends prayed for me apparently and my fuckass was foaming at tye mouth n shit.

Also apparently (i gotta stop saying apparently)(anf why am i on a yapstreak)(my mom is telling the story live)(she just showed us a pic of me((baby)) drinkng from a plastic cup and my sister called me an alcoholic at birth) the reason why i got sixk was bc my older sisters got to hold me after i was born and some ratass COUGHED ON ME

I fucking hate Starscreams design in tfp they did him so dirty idek what to point out bro its all bad his face his mouth his lack of a nose his freaky eyes his weird red antenna his bald head his grey ass body his fucking hands he has cunty heels but i dont like the shape it looks like a kindergarden chair dipped in grey paint his ugly shoulders his exposed organs lookin ahh stomach his weird ass knees?? The fuck are up w them anyways like literally his whole design pisses me off

Who up rizzing they gyats??

i liked repairing space bridges

Anyone wanna join the people who talk to themselves club?

I do crowpea!!

Thats two members!

Uh, me too.

Woah, this club is growing so fast!!!!!!

Gng i complained to my dad that i wish i was over 18 so that i could just drink a beer whenever and he showed me the beer he was holding and pointed to the text where it said “0.0 alcohol” and was like “do you wang a taste? It tastes like shit just so h know”

Fuckass english test killinv me bro

“Your friend is going through a difficylt time and has tk make a hard decision, listen to this recording of tips on how to make good decisions and relay the information to them” ????

What kind of difficult tkme ?????

What hard decisions?????? Literally what the hell???

I didnt write anything they gonna fail me yo 🤧

I love those little guys

Pomergaanrate 🍎

Heaven nose im miserable nau

Sometimes i see some art and im like “woah super cool!” And then i recognize the artstyle as that one artist who headcanoned jotakak so hard they turned into ocs