This Safe Mode Search Is About To Be Strangled. Why Isn't Staying Off Like Gurllll

Sex scenes should be cut out of all movies but they should be replaced by a series of strange avant- garde shots of industrial machines and objects grinding and rubbing and spinning and vibrating and whining and entering each other that implies some freak shit is going on

Listen it’s funny

Bookstore AU

So I’m pretty sure that most chain bookstores don’t just sell books anymore

Like it’s books, CDs, DVDs, records, nerdy accessories, toys, and coffee at the coffee shop that all bookstores have now

Tracer, McCree, Ana and Reinhardt work in the kids section 

(They read to the kids on the weekends. Tracer loves it because the kids are adorable, McCree loves it because he gets to wear his cowboy getup and the kids love it, and Ana and Reinhardt just love to be around little ones) 

Winston is the manager

Mercy and D.Va are baristas 

Reaper and Widow work in the CD/DVD/vinyl section 

Pharah and Lúcio work as cashiers 

Hanzo is always dragging Genji with him whenever he goes to see his boyfriend read to the kids 

Genji gets bored fast 

So he walks around the store 

He finds the religion section and wonders if anything here will help him find his purpose in life 

(No such luck) 

But he does find a man looking like a monk, sitting on the floor in between the aisles, reading. 

Genji is automatically interested because this guy knows what he’s doing 

So he talks to him 

The monk introduces himself as Zenyatta 

Zenyatta has the smoothest voice ever 

Genji’s knees feel weak 

They end up talking for hours 

Zenyatta invites him to join the meditation classes that he is teaching 

Genji accepts gladly because he would love to spend more time with him 

Hanzo leaves him there 

One day Tracer was leaving her shift and she spots Widow working 

Hello, there 

She tries to strike up conversation with Widow but Widow isn’t too chatty 

Eventually Widow tells her to either buy something or get out 

Tracer is hurt but leaves 

Reaper watches her go before talking to Widow 

“Wtf man. She was into you.” 

Widow snorts. “I don’t have time to flirt with pretty girls at work.” 

“She gave you her number. You should call her tonight and apologize.” 

Widow looks affronted but does that anyway 

Tracer gladly accepts her apology and they decide to go eat ice cream together 

Mercy and Pharah are already dating 

They visit each other during shifts or during off periods 

Lúcio and Hana manage to hang out too 

One day Zarya walks in 

Looking for a book about healthy eating and exercise

And the nature section is right next to the health section 

So Zarya walks right into Mei 

Zarya automatically thinks that Mei is adorable 

Mei thinks that Zarya looks a little intimidating with her pink hair, tattoos, scar and huge muscles, but she’s really into it 

They start talking 

They both apologize to each other, saying that they can’t speak English too well, and then bond over how English isn’t their first language 

It’s adorable 

They exchange numbers 

Zarya starts attending Mei’s health classes 

Mei starts going to Zarya’s weightlifting shows 

They start dating 

Winston is incredulous because everyone is falling in love in his bookstore how did that happen

Edit: Some people wanted to know about Bastion and Soldier 76. Bastion is that one kid who works there and he’s really young and trying so hard but he doesn’t know what he’s doing so Lúcio and Pharah help him. He also loves to talk to Mei about nature. 

Soldier 76 is an unmarried man who comes in every once and a while to see Hana and McCree and to check up on them (They view him as a father figure. Mercy was a bit concerned at first, but she quickly realized that their relationship was platonic and 76 wasn’t creepy.). He also comes in to flirt with Reaper, who refuses to go out with him, although won’t say why. 76 keeps trying though. 

(Eventually Reaper does say yes, and the night of their date, everyone else attends a wild party to celebrate.) 

Game: lvl recommendation 12-15

Me: I’ll be level 103 just in case some hard bosses come by...

game: level recommendation 12-15

me: i’m at level 8 let’s go

This is the “free speech bus.” Run by a gaggle of homophobic religious groups, it kicked off a trip on the East Coast this week to try to convince the world that transgender people aren’t real. 

Guess how long it took before it got vandalized: one day. Whoops.

It’s almost as if when you embark on a road trip specifically to harm and dehumanize other people, those people and their friends will push back! Some great observations from Twitter:

Nope. No sympathy for transphobes on wheels. 

Oh so I’m gonna pass away

Snippet I've had forever of Emmrich humming in the Lighthouse courtyard taken from this compilation by DanaDuchy

(you should listen to the whole youtube video, there is some fantastic easily missed banter)

The vibrato, the resonance, the effortless falsetto??? This man can SING.