This Is Me Btw

College class scheduling is evil. You know what isn't? Going for a hike in the cold winter air. I'm tired of concrete and brick. I wanna go get in them damn woods.

Thinking about how I got to meet my internet best friend irl this summer. They came from across the sea and we went to the beach, this stupid restaurant, and I got to show them my childhood bedroom. For four years, we waited to meet eachother. That's a lot of time to think of what it would feel like to say hello for the first time.

I got to watch their eyes get wide and how they shuffle around a room in real time. I got to hug them and laugh at their goofy stance. I tackle hugged them in a grocery store parking lot after almost throwing up the entire ride to pick them up.

For four years, I accumulated little trinkets that I shoved into the corner of my room dedicated to a future care package. I got to hand them my gifts directly out of my own arms. I watched them laugh in shock at the ridiculously long friendship bracelet I made them two years ago, and I got to hold the silly Blues Clues PEZ they got me close to my chest. It's my favorite in my whole collection.

I keep the Polaroid we took on the beach in my phone case, wear my matching bracelet, and I think about the fact that they're real and very, very kind all the time. Sometimes the internet is a good place.

I love them so muchhhh. My friends always get onto me for how many wolves I have in our worlds 😔

Canine culture is feeling connected to Minecraft dogs/wolves even if you aren’t a wolfkin just because they are just the purest form of dog, companions and protectors

List of random obscure stuff I'm fascinated with for no reason, or maybe there is a reason, but I'm too tired to figure it out:

1. Small spaces that aren't really safe given the overall environment, but that still feels safe for whatever reason. (Ex. 2D's underwater room from Plastic Beach, my own room, horror game safe rooms, the backseat of cars driving at night.)

2. The cold. Any version. The Arctic, snow in Texas, the sound of a box fan in the middle of winter. Snow. I like the cold. I like walking in it and having it surround me.

3. Blue noise. The ambiance noise. It's my favorite kind. It sounds cold. Ain't that neat?

4. Early 2000s nostalgia. This one's more understandable, considering I grew up in the 2000s. Particularly focused on the technology because young me was a big fan of the 'puter. Throw in a DS, and I'm sold.

5. Nautical stuff. I know next to nothing about sailing, but you bet your ass I love me some boats and sailors. Oh, or lighthouses and lighthouse keepers. Not so much pirates as just old people sailing boats. Make it cold and thats even better. Like that one oil rig horror game? Loved it. The ocean is cool too sometimes. Especially stingrays. Love em. You know what actually?

6. Stingrays. Funny dudes. Favorite animal. Any kind of ray, really. Mantaray, eagle ray, cownose ray... I think they're very cool.

7. Carousels. I like the pretty horses, fucking sue me. I'd like to design them, especially the ones with all types of animals. The ones on boardwalks or outside aquariums in particular are very cool because they have all the sea creatures.

Writers hell. I am in writers hell. I am chewing on the bars of my enclosure, trying to finish this short story draft and driving myself insane.

^^^ me if you were wondering.

I need 2020 super saturated colors to make a comeback. My phones photo album was so alive back then. It still is pretty lively now, but I scroll through old photos, and it's like an explosion of color.

Or maybe I just need to pull another: live to make my photo gallery more nice to look at. I have been doing things. I just always forget to take pictures, which can make me forget that I haven't just been staring at schoolwork all month.

Shout out to my 7th grade reading teacher who was the first person to ever encourage my creative writing. He took one look at a kid who was struggling to find a way to communicate how much they were suffering, took a look at a mess of a short story they'd written in an attempt to convey all their big heavy feelings, and fully embraced them.

I constantly talked to him about writing and how to get better. I showed him everything I wrote. Sometimes, it was so I could have critiques. Sometimes, it was just so someone would tell me I'd done a good job. I needed that. He gave me a healthy goal to work towards.

I wish he hadn't just been a long-term sub. I wish I could have told him that I go by something different now. I think he'd really like what I'm writing these days.

My favorite 2 flavors of Glass Animals songs have to be Dave Bayley singing like an unsatisfied housewife or a desperate lover who might be hooked on something.

RAAAAAH

I ORDERED MYSELF SOME EARS AND IM SO EXCITED LOOK HOW COOL THEY LOOK

I need them in my hands NOWWWWW

I genuinely thought people were just making stuff up about randomly meeting other therians but I got to meet two today at a festival so shout out to them because it made me really happy :]