I had a bad biting problem when I was younger. That and clawing at people. It wasn't that I didn't know it hurt. I assumed as much. I felt bad after I did it. But people were always touching me.
I hated it. I've always been pretty soft-spoken around people unless I know them well. Teachers have always joked that they can't hear me. Sometimes, I talk very little during the day, and my voice sounds clogged and scratchy by the end of it from not being used. I've always been short. When I was younger, I was kinda scrawny. My claws and teeth often felt like my only defense when people would come near me.
I was always so jumpy, and I had my reasons, but it often led to me panicking and hurting people when I really didn't mean to. They just happened to move a little too quickly when they were a little too close to me. I felt bad about it afterward. I'd feel the urge to whine and lick at my friends' wounds in apology. I couldn't do that, of course, and no injury was too severe, but it still hurt.
I eventually got used to not using my claws and keeping them tucked, especially after I got out of the hostile environment I was in as a kid. However, the urge never really went away. I still panic sometimes when my friends get close to me or move past me too quickly. I do my best not to make any move that could hurt them. They understand a lot of the time, or I hope that they do. They're always quick to tell me it's okay. I still feel bad sometimes, though, when we're play fighting, and suddenly I start snapping my teeth. It doesn't feel very fair to them.
I think I'm better than I used to be. Now I at least keep my claws cut, and when we play, I try to keep my bites from catching any skin, and if they do, I try my best to keep them soft. I try to warn them in the ways I can when I'm not feeling safe, though at times it's difficult as I tend to go very quiet when I'm very upset and can only communicate through body language. I really hope they know that I never intentionally swipe at them in a way that isn't playful or that when I bear my teeth, I'm only trying to ask them to back away.
Throwback to this poem I wrote a while back
Plain text:
There was at one time,
A man I knew who spoke
With the crackle of a fire
Who had a cough
Like the devil himself had curled up in his lungs.
Who took me places
No wicked thing ever dared to trot.
He who stood so mighty,
The king of a southern summer,
And composed of the cicadas sympathy.
It is from him
I acquired my dirty paws,
These blood fangs.
From him came this wagging tail,
And hanging tongue.
Where my king of summer lies,
With the worms in his oldest home,
I stay his heir.
I haunt this town like an unmuttered curse.
And when they dare speak my name,
As if some insulting thing,
I think fondly of the man who gave me claws and teeth.
So that their insolence is not so easily forgiven,
And just as he,
Never forgotten.
Rays! I love rays. They're so beautiful. One of my favorites is the cownose ray. I mean, just look at how silly they are. They're very shy and can migrate in schools as many as 10,000 rays!
And then there's giant oceanic manta rays, which can have wingspans up to 29 feet!!!
That's insane!!!!
Any other therian have animals they love but don’t kin? I absolutely adore opossums! I think they’re just the most beautiful adorable creatures. I’m just not one, and that’s quite sad :(
June is Black Music Month!
so I wanted to highlight who has made the Gorillaz what they really are…
these are not the Gorillaz:
I would argue that even Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn are not the Gorillaz.
from their very inception, the Gorillaz have been made possible by those who Albarn and Hewlett collaborate with. their unique and interesting sound is the result of a multitude of musicians working together.
approximately two thirds of their collaborators have been black musicians
THESE are the Gorillaz that we love so dearly:
so Gorillaz fans, let’s spend some time this month listening to what else these artists have created!
below the cut I list all of these artists and the songs they’re featured in, find your favorite songs and give these collaborators a listen!
Keep reading
This. Me desperately trying to figure out what a normal person looks like in a public setting
Do you ever feel like you are trapped in this body and your disguise has reached its limits and is becoming faulty and at any moment you're just gonna go *crack* and your body will shatter into pieces and melt away to reveal your true form
I wanna age like an old cowboy. Give me a southern squint with very exaggerated crows feet and a furrowed brow. Make me rough and tumbled. I won't smoke, but give me a scratchy voice. I want my grandkids to look at me and see coyote, wolf, dog, raccoon. I want them to see weathered and wild.
Home :(
view from Acadia - roaming around the Commonwealth Far Harbor 41/?
Just wanted to share some shockingly good news in these difficult times. The full article is really worth reading. [Find it here]
I'd like to own my own house someday. In my dream scenario, I'd own a few acres of land, and I'd build a guest house for my pack to come and go as they please.
Me and my mate would build a cob house specifically and model it after earthship homes. We'd have a conversation pit and a sun room, and we'd make everything nice and cozy. We'd have kids, and we'd raise them in a strong and loving community of friends who treat each other like family. I'd get to sit on my front porch like any other old southern folk, and I'd watch my pack run around happily in the safe haven we have cultivated for ourselves.
I'd like to foster, if I'm able, and provide others with a safe space to live for a while while on their journeys. Maybe I'd also rescue animals.
I'd learn how to farm and work towards being more and more self sustainable (which is already a real goal of mine). I'd repair old clothes and harvest my own food, and I'd give back to my community the same way they give back to me.
Nonhumans of Tumblr, what is your dream as “human”, if you have one?
Personally, I wanna move somewhere north (probably Sweden), own a cabin in the woods with my own garden and a dog, and a partner. Embrace my nonhumanity. Make music but also home-baked goods in my free time. Ideally no job, but since that’s not how the world works, I’d wanna do something with canines, other northern animals, or something out in nature in general.
Maybe im not cladotherian and actually just polytherian. Because I still look at myself and just think, oh yeah, that's a canine. But also, over time, I've kinda just realized that it's not so much the entire genus and instead just some specific species. I also feel like my theriotypes are deeply tied to who I am, how I grew up, and how I function. I know I'm a wolf for certain. I get especially shifty in the winter, and it will stay somewhat dormant in the warmer months. I feel drawn to my coyote theriotype in the spring and summer, and having grown up in the deep south, it helps that it makes me feel more comfortable in where I call home.
My dog theriotype is pretty much always present. I'm just doglike in nature.
And then my raccoon tends to flair up, especially when I regress? Like it's usually either puppy or raccoon.
This isn't really me panicking about this or anything tbh. Sometimes, it just feels nice to talk about it.
One thing I can never forgive someone for is hating on nervous wreck Travis Miles. Oh, you think he's annoying? You don't like how he rambles and screams every other song? TOO BAD! That's my boy. And he's so right for screaming. I, too, am screaming at everything going on around me in fallout 4. Shits crazy.
I love you, nervous Travis, you and your little radio trailer.