It Is Snowing Where I Am & I Need To Be Elsewhere In A Matter Of Hours

Folks, my taste in movies. Is undefinable.

I can feel it breathing. It presses itself against my ribs as if to escape their cage. It grows with each breath, making it hard for me to exhale. I can't sleep. Can't shake the hunger. It wants more, it wants out.  It wants me.

In my head I imagine a beast. A one-eyed hell-hound, a bitch with tacky fur & uncut nails. Restless, howling with the darkness within me. In reality it'd probably look more like me. Just.. wilder.

The day is done. I flick the half-burned cigarette in a nearby puddle. As the water ripples, for a moment I can see it's reflection beside mine.  We walk away.

One day she walked in, and just never walked out. I'd like to say she changed my life, but it's much the same. I work at one of those old everything-stores, with the owner, who's like a hundred years old & made of steel. He owns my apartment too, so I live in it, pay=rent, and live mostly on coffee & de-shelved snacks. Occasionally I get some extra cash flipping things I find lying around & fix. It's amazing how much stuff you can carry out of parties, once you just get accepted as the guy who hauls junk around. She's the girl who makes mixtapes for her outfits. Or maybe it started the other way round, I'm not sure. What I do know is mr. Steel's place has never seen this many extravagant coats. He likes her, 'cause she wears sturdy shoes and an infectious smile. I like her, 'cause even tho nothing's changed, with her I don't feel like it needs to.

Happy Holidays everybody 💙

Bonus: unlike many languages, Finnish has names for eight points of the compass instead of four. So between cardinal directions (pääilmansuunnat) we call ordinal directions (väli-ilmansuunnat) NE, SE, SW & NW by their very own words.

'Ilma' means 'air' and 'suunta' is 'direction', so literally these are called 'air/wind directions', or 'directions of (the) air'

Is that you in the pictures?

Um.. no

Some of them are my friends, (photos I took) some are just images from stock-sites edited by me

I live in two worlds, always 100% convinced that the one I’m currently in is the ‘real one’ and the other’s a mind trick, a dream of sorts, and I have no way of telling when I’m right, if at all.

I liked you better when you were straight

Excuse me..? That literally never happened?

   I don’t know if I should laugh at- or be offended by this

2024 highlights

Kummat (Oddity, Eli Brown, 2021) Illuusion pysyvyys (Jesse Heikkinen, 2016) Varastetaan pandoja (Juhani Karila, 2022) A Series of Unfortunate Events (Lemony Snicket, 1999-2006) The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School (Sonora Reyes, 2022) Poromafia (Mikko-Pekka Heikkinen, 2016)

Unusual year for me -I continued with Austen, but otherwise read mostly new-ish books for younger readers. Easy access to a good library is something I'll miss about city living..