Ren Version!

@dandymaximilian

some winter waddlers

~ stickers ~

🎉🎉🎉🎉HAPPY BIRTHDAY HORSES🎉🎉🎉🎉

🎉🎉You can only reblog once a year! 🎉🎉

Cutie. 🥺❤️

💕💕💕💕💕no youuuu

Omggg🥺🥺🥺🩷

It's a pink whale.

Arthur-Alfred Brunel de Neuville

There are only two mental illnesses according to people on the internet:

Innocent bean syndrome: You can never do wrong and got no agency. You will be infantilized on every occasion and are treated as a quirk.

Bad person syndrome: You are bad and an abuser. Your presence kills people.

hey, reminder that thinking you’re faking is literally part of the diagnostic criteria for systemhood. all systems doubt themselves, or have before. it’s annoying and frustrating but it’s completely normal. you aren’t faking, you’re just experiencing normal systemhood.

Baby Reindeer was great bc it showed the "bad" sides of surviving abuse as much as the "good"; Donny was/is by no means perfect, but that doesn't mean he deserved what happened.

we see him engaging w unhealthy coping mechanisms, w reckless and self destructive behaviours, not bc they're meant to help him cope, but to show that self destruction, recklessness and unhealthy coping mechanisms DO exist, and that they're not always as obvious as a slit wrist or playing chicken in a busy road.

and then we have the "would you think it about me?" scene and just... I broke down. completely. I didn't even need to hear the line abt the Catholic Church.

Baby Reindeer was just great, tbh. it WAS very triggering at times and yeah, I was almost sick. I cried, too. but that's bc it was RAW and it was REAL - it wasn't painting what happened as somehow great or deserved or "good". it treated it properly. it's not the glorified, romanticised, normalised kinda film abt stalking & sexual violence that we see in the media - it's REAL.

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.