Just Wait Till I Organize All My F1 Au Thoughts….JUST WAIT! I Fear It’ll Be All I Draw

oh, as ashes turn to dust (tell me that I’m good enough)

characters: cypher & viper (neon, jett and phoenix mentioned. cypher’s family is also mentioned)

no romantic relationships.

Cypher stilled as the telltale hiss of the door caught his attention. Following it were quiet, ever-so-slightly erratic footsteps. Ah, Viper. It seems that she has had her… usual amount of caffeine. After a moment, the steps stopped behind him at the kitchen island. The only thing that broke the silence was the sound of Viper making her coffee. Black, just like her soul, as the younger duelists once joked. (They had learned not to extremely quickly.) Neither of them said a word. He was suddenly extremely aware of her piercing stare on his back. Viper cleared her throat. “Cypher. The pancakes are burning.”

All Cypher wanted was a peaceful breakfast. However, when he sees the date, he’s reminded of events he’d really rather not remember. To make things worse, Viper is there to rub salt in the wound. Or… is she?

or:

a certain viper’s (somewhat stilted) attempts to get cypher to open up about his unresolved trauma. well... healing isn't linear, right?

this is just a oneshot I posted a while ago on my ao3. (this thing was written months ago LMAO) thought I might as well post it here too :)

no major content warnings. I think. cypher just has Issues (that I gave him)

ao3 link (alternatively, full oneshot is under the cut)

The door, near-silent, slid open to let Cypher through. This morning, the kitchen was completely empty. Its dull, military-issued appliances somehow seemed even more lifeless than usual. He hummed quietly to fill the silence as he checked what ingredients they had. There was quite a lot of leftover flour, sugar, and… fifteen cartons of eggs. Fifteen. Since when did they need that many eggs?

Ah. Now that he thought about it, he remembered Phoenix saying something about buying too many eggs by accident. Cypher sighed. Knowing him, he probably thought the 12-egg cartons were 6-egg cartons. 

He closed the fridge, glancing at the sticky notes that had slowly been piling up on its door. A tiny, scribbled pancake Jett had doodled on one caught his eye. He smiled. Perhaps I should make pancakes. They would be quite happy to wake up to that. 

Cypher gathered his ingredients. As he prepared them on the counter, he noticed someone had left the only non-electric mixer out. He sighed, picking it up. He might as well use it, considering it would have to be washed either way. He was quite sure it was there due to a certain little spark—he spent far too much time watching the security cameras to be unaware of her… midnight tendencies. Cypher glanced at the calendar as he walked to the stove. 

June 24th. Cypher froze.

For a moment, he swore he could still taste the blood in his mouth, still see the moment their lives were taken by the cold embrace of death. That was the day he lost his family. The day he lost his face. His name. His everything. He gripped the stove ledge. I failed her, then. I will not—no, I cannot fail now. It—

Cypher snapped himself out of his thoughts. He was here to make breakfast, not to get stuck in his head. He still needed to complete the batter. The rest of the Protocol would be disappointed if he didn’t finish in time.

Cypher took a deep breath and loosened his grip on the stove. He continued mixing the batter. The quiet sound was familiar. It reminded him of home. The sight of opening the door to welcoming sunlight drifting lazily through the rooms. The smell of her cooking, wafting warmly throughout their small kitchen. The sound of two pairs of footsteps, one unsteady and one sure, pattering across the tile floor to greet him. The feeling of his hands in hers. The taste of the life he once had, soured by the tang of blood. 

Running, coming back to emptiness as silent as death. Air, tasting of sickly sweet syrup and blood. Half-cooked batter, stained red. He wasn’t fast enough. Vigilant enough. He—

Cypher rubbed his temples. Maybe he shouldn’t have made pancakes today. 

…On second thought, he was already halfway finished, and Raze was on breakfast duty today. It was a miracle she hadn’t been banned from the kitchen—he’d really rather not eat burnt toast for the third time. As he continued to work, he muttered to himself. “Calm down, Cypher. Gather your thoughts. You have a job to do.”

Don’t fail again.

He carefully poured the batter into the pan. Humming quietly, he stilled as the telltale hiss of the door caught his attention. 

Following it were quiet, ever-so-slightly erratic footsteps. Ah, Viper. It seems that she has had her… usual amount of caffeine. After a moment, the steps stopped behind him at the kitchen island. The only thing that broke the silence was the sound of Viper making her coffee. Black, just like her soul, as the younger duelists once joked. (They had learned not to extremely quickly.)

Neither of them said a word. He was suddenly extremely aware of her piercing stare on his back. 

Viper cleared her throat. “Cypher. The pancakes are burning.”

He blinked rapidly, glancing over his shoulder. Why were his eyelids wet? “Oh! Of course. I will fix that immediately,” he said. His words came out forced, like he had a stone lodged in his throat.

He coughed and turned back to the pan, disposing of the ruined food. He could still feel Viper’s sharp gaze trained on him. 

She sighed. “Your hands are shaking. You’re going to ruin the food.” She thought for a moment. “That said, you do have more than enough batter. Just don’t burn it again.” 

When Cypher looked back at her, Viper’s head was tilted, her lips slightly twitched into an almost-smile. There was a glint of… something in her eyes, though he couldn’t quite tell what. He paused, studying her for as long as he could without being noticed. After a moment, he let out a slight chuckle and replied. His words were no longer stiff. “I do, indeed. Now, Doctor Sabine, would you like two pancakes or one?”

“…”

He turned around completely. Viper surveyed him with narrowed eyes over her mug of coffee. Cypher stared back. “Two or one?”

“If you insist, I will have two.”

“With added blueberries, correct?”

“…That is correct.”

“It will only be a few minutes.”

She hummed noncommittally, and they fell into a comfortable silence as Cypher busied himself with the food. The gentle sizzling filled the quiet, wafting through the room. If he were in a particularly poetic mood, he would’ve said the kitchen smelled of warmth.

A short time later, he carefully plated her pancakes. He slid them across the island with a slight smile, though knowing she wouldn’t see it. “Here you are, my dear doctor,” he said.

Viper raised an eyebrow at the form of address, but took the plate without much fuss. Cypher watched with mild interest as she poured the syrup with clinical precision, ensuring there wasn’t a single drop wasted.

Viper looked up as she started eating. “If you are going to stare at me as if I’m a lab rat this entire time, I will leave. You still have more food to make.” 

It was more of a reminder than a question, but he answered regardless. “Oh, yes. Of course. I would not want to disappoint the young ones.” 

For the next few minutes, they fell back into that mellow calm, filled with the quiet scraping of utensils. 

Viper took a bite. “Cypher.”

“Yes?”

“You are acting rather distracted today.”

“…I am simply a bit tired. Don’t worry about it.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I am inclined to believe that you are lying.”

He coughed. “I don’t know—”

“It’s because it’s the anniversary, is it not?” 

Cypher froze. “What?”

“I asked a question.”

His robotic eyes drifted to the calendar behind her. Eventually, he sighed. “Yes. It is,” he reluctantly replied.

A hum. “So I was correct.”

Cypher waited for her to continue with bated breath. Viper stayed silent. She continued eating, as if she hadn’t just frozen over his world again with six words. For a moment, Cypher nearly considered walking out of the room. (Of course, that wasn’t really an option. He’d already slipped up too much. He was supposed to be the one the others could rely on, not the other way around. He certainly couldn’t be weak.) 

Her cold voice broke him out of his thoughts. “You tell us you have everything under control, but as soon as I mention your past you clam up and get lost in your thoughts?” 

Cypher looked away from her knowing stare. How did he not notice it until now? “I… do what is needed for the Protocol to succeed in its endeavors.” In response, Viper raised a single, unimpressed brow. He pretended he didn’t see it. It was a futile effort to avoid her questions, but he tried anyway.

“Even Phoenix would be able to tell that you’re making excuses,” she muttered.

He did not speak again, his mouth pressed into a thin line under his mask. Viper did not continue either, and only watched him quietly. Somehow, the silence felt just as suffocating as the prior exchange. How ironic. I just told myself I had to be better than this. I am weak, aren’t I?

Their conversation—if you could even call it that—stood at a stalemate. Neither agent was willing to give in. Not completely. Cypher restrained himself from fidgeting with a tripwire behind his back. Viper already knew too much. She saw too much. She knew he was weak, knew he was fragile. He couldn’t give her more evidence of that.

Cypher’s eyes caught on the severe line of her gaze. For a moment, he almost thought he saw her expression ever-so-slightly soften. He frowned, both in resentment and in confusion. He knew he was becoming too easy to read, but why was she reacting like that? Viper was not an empathetic person, much less one to act on those thoughts.

Just as that thought occurred to him, she took a step forward, lifting a gloved hand. He braced himself with a thick swallow. However, it fell back to her side a moment later, as if she’d thought better of it. Instead, she murmured, “The pancakes were… good. Thank you, Cypher.” She spoke cautiously, as if she was attempting to avoid frightening a wounded animal. 

She almost sounded gentle, in her own way. 

Viper continued after he stayed quiet, almost hesitantly. “Don’t overwork yourself. It wouldn’t do the Protocol any good if you collapsed from exhaustion.” She paused, as if she had something else to say.

“…I am quite sure the others would like your cooking. They appreciate all the work you do.”

Cypher blinked in disbelief. Once, twice. He didn’t wake up. He could only watch as the door slid open for her, caught off-guard by her words. As Viper turned to leave, he swore he could almost see the beginnings of a sad, pained smile forming on her face. She left him alone, and the kitchen suddenly felt colder.

Cypher stood there, staring at the empty space Viper had left. She has changed. He looked down at his hands. They weren’t trembling anymore. Or was I simply too blind to see it until now? He eventually sighed; he was getting nowhere with that train of thoughts. He hummed, setting the abandoned mixer to the side. He’d need to remind Neon about cleaning up after herself after her midnight cooking runs later. 

As he prepared the next batch, Cypher heard lively footsteps coming towards the kitchen. It seemed that she and her friends were awake, then. He allowed himself a slight smile.

Perhaps he could let his troubles drift away, just for a day.

mother and daughter

I made a progress video showing how i usually make and structure a page in a comic as i go, this one with 3 pages from hunky-dory chapter 2.

really wanted to draw some women so i made my instagram suggest some

i was gonna do just the black and white like the cass here but then i had to color kori and then i had to colour talia and then the b&w didnt look right with diana,,,, and then i had to go back and colour cass lol

figuring out how i wna draw sage

i have come to find out that fanfic writing is NOT as easy as academic writing and that i am a terribly slow writer 😭 yesterday i managed to muster two (2!!!) paragraphs after damn near two hours it’s so cooked chat LMAO

gym crush

Reygebean Relationship Headcannons Bc I Wanna :)

They’re my little squishies and I wanna let them hold hands and kiss and stuff :)

Viper

Viper's the most reserved when it comes to physical affection. She barely lets Sage or Reyna give her so much as a peck on the cheek in public. In private she’s more open, even gives silent encouragement by leaning into their touches- but even then she isn’t often one to initiate that kind of touch with them very often.

Not to say she isn't very... Passionate- but on that later in this post hehe.

What Viper does in replacement of the lack of physical affection though are acts of service.

She has their schedules memorized. How they drink their tea/coffee. What mug they always use. How they organize their things and their typical load out for missions.

Reyna and Sage will wake up every morning to their drink of choice on the bedside table, along with outfits already laid out for them so they don’t have to put much thought into getting ready for the day.

There’s also a note by their drinks as to where they can find her and that they have breakfast in the fridge.

There are very specific moments when Viper’s most affectionate. When Viper’s 3/4’s asleep- and then the moments where she’s the only one awake(she thinks)/the only one paying attention(she thinks again).

When she’s groggy and mostly asleep, she’s like a clingy puppy.

It barely ever happens- but when it does, Reyna and Sage genuinely cannot deny her of anything because dammit she’s to damn cute.

It’ll be early morning, and it’s one of the few calm moments in the protocol when Reyna wakes up. She tries to get out of bed only to feel an arm tighten around her waist and pull her right back into the blankets. Then she feels a face burry itself in her hair and the raspy groggy voice of Viper telling her not to leave. How is she supposed to say no to that?

Sage finds herself dragging an exhausted Viper who’s been working for god knows how long(nearly two days straight) to bed.

She had gotten Viper into bed already and was about to join her to relax until Brimstone texts her because he wants to discuss something or whatever with her.

Sage begrudgingly gets back up and ready to go until she feels Viper grab her wrist. When she turns around, Viper's looking away but she's- oh my god is that a pout-

Viper says something along the lines of "Are you not staying?" but before she can even finish the sentence, Sage is already halfway under the covers.

How can you say no to her? Like, truly?

The other moments that Viper truly shows any physical affection to them is when she thinks neither of them notice. I's like- her own little secret.

She tends to be the first to wake up in the morning, keeping a routine. Before she goes off to make their morning drinks and get ready for the day, she'll read and enjoy the quiet. More often than not, one of the two will end up with their head on Viper's lap and she'll run her fingers through their hair.

The action actually helps calm her trembling hands. She always has a small, soft smile whenever this happens- book forgotten in favor of admiring the two women lying with her.

Sage and Reyna know she does this. They've known for a while. They love the feeling of Viper's fingers gently massaging their scalps. They never say anything though, letting Viper keep this.

Reyna

Reyna is without a doubt the most affectionate of the three. She doesn't care who is around to see her press a kiss to Sage's cheek, or when she leans up to kiss Viper's forehead. She never oversteps any boundaries, but she takes her chance whenever she gets it.

You'd be able to find Reyna with her arms around Sage's waist as she cooks in the kitchen, or pressed up against Viper's side as she works on papers in her lab. Honestly there's barely a moment where you don't see her touching one of her partners in some fashion.

Along with being the most affectionate she's... Kinda insatiable sometimes. And very hard to say no to(I mean have you seen her?)

She likes to tease. Viper especially- pushing her buttons and striking the right chords to both work up and annoy the ever living shit out of the woman. It'll get to the point where some agents may see a flushed and angry Viper dragging Reyna to the living quarters, and Reyna looking all too satisfied with herself.

She loves teasing Sage with feather light touches and searing kisses that just don't last long enough. It makes Sage go red in the face, hiding in the crook of Reyna's neck. Once again, Reyna's all too satisfied for herself.

In the privacy of one of their rooms, Reyna's much softer.

She enjoys peppering little kisses on their faces and simply cupping their faces to take in every little detail she can.

It makes them both flush from embarrassment but god does that make Reyna's heart swell.

Now. She loves holding her girlfirends, resting her chip on top of their heads, but she loves being a little spoon too.

No she won't ever admit it audibly.

Reyna likes the feeling of secure arms around her waist, holding her close. She loves it when she feels Sage or Viper nuzzle into the crook of her neck- to feel their heartbeat against her back. It's grounding.

She enjoys using pet names- and most often uses cariño, amor and querida.

Getting more specific, she calls Sage "mi alma" (my soul) and Viper "mi serpiente" (My snake/serpent)

With Viper though, it tends to have a more teasing edge to it

Sage

She's kind of the in-between if Viper and Reyna are the two ends of the spectrum.

She doesn't often initiate physical touch while in public, but she doesn't shy away from it when given.

She likes the more miniscule actions. Holding hands, sitting close to lean against someone.

In the privacy of their rooms though she's an absolute cuddle bug.

She tends to use pet names in a more private setting as well. Like most people i hc that she calls Viper 'Beans' along with using Chinese terms of endearment for both women.

Sage tends to Viper and Reyna's physical needs because god knows taking care of themselves might not always be the first thing that comes to their minds.

She'll show up to Viper's lab while the woman is working and just wordlessly massage Viper's shoulders and nape, working out the knots gently.

Viper all but melts into the touch with an appreciative sigh. Sage gives her a little peck on the head before getting back to it.

Viper has the smallest of smiles. but you heard nothing. nope.

She does the same for Reyna. the woman sometimes overdoes it in the range when she's trying to relieve stress. It builds up a lot in her arms, so Sage makes it a point to sit her girlfriend down whenever she can to work the soreness out of Reyna's arms.

She gets so focused on the task at hand that she doesn't notice the adoring smile on Reyna's face. The soft eyes that ooze appreciation.

Some general stuff

Along with the trembling hands, I hc that Viper has scars on said hands from when she was in a more self destructive point in her life, uncaring about the safety of working with her toxins.

It's a point in her life that she isn't proud of, and often wears gloves as she honestly hates how her hands look.

Sage and Reyna have slowly worked Viper up to taking off her gloves when they're all in private, and will often hold and caress her hands. Pressing little kisses to each of the scars. Both Sage and Reyna have their own little routines of which scar they kiss first.

Reyna especially likes to just- fiddle with Viper's fingers idly while they do their own things. Reyna watching something while Viper reads with her free hand. It once again calms the tremors and occasionally Viper will feel Reyna press soft kisses to the pads of her fingers.

Sage always likes the feeling of Viper's hand cupping her cheek.

Whenever Viper's having a rougher day- when the doubt settles in and Viper can't see herself as anything but a monster- Sage will take off the gloves and have Viper cup her face gently and go on about how a monster wouldn't cradle her as gently as she does.

2024 vs 2020