https://www.tumblr.com/lilislegacy/777117213311336448/httpswwwtumblrcomfate-of-the-envious74879588?source=share
Ah, that's a good one. The source post that is. Not op's take on it. Nothing against the op. They have some good Percy takes. I am not sure why anon didn't send this to @fate-of-the-envious themselves considering they would probably have a more apt reply for this as the source post is theirs. But I will do my best to break it down instead.
Before we begin, to those who have been sending me similar asks may have missed my recent post on going on a hiatus again soon. It would be beneficial for both me and the anons/followers to use the navigation bar on my blog page to search all the posts relevant to anti percabeth tag or any other tag you want. Because I assure you at least for anti percabeth whatever post you think you want made chances are I have already made it. I have made a lot of posts so a nav page is a bit hard to make, I am in process of making it but please until then utilize this method.
-------------------------------------------------------
Now, the post (which I implore you to check it out first) is about the scene in Chalice of the Gods where Annabeth pushes Percy of a cliff. Op links that to the Judo flip scene and says neither is abuse and normal rules can't be applied to demigods like Percy and Annabeth but she does agree that it was an inappropriate reaction from Annabeth both times so at least that’s something. Let's deal with this one at a time.
Let's get the Judo flip out of the way. I don't know why everyone focuses on the wrong thing with the Judo flip. Annabeth was high on emotions and the Judo flip was definitely a terrible response considering she was also unaware of whether Percy still had his Achilles curse or not given that she flipped him on the small of his back where his mortal tether is. Even if she knew the curse was gone that is in no way a response of someone who has been intensely missing their boyfriend and was in great pain without the said boyfriend. But I am willing to ignore all of this even because funny enough that's not the most concerning thing about the Judo flip. The MOST CONCERNING part of the Judo flip is that Annabeth BLAMES Percy for getting KIDNAPPED and having his memories BRAINWASHED. That's where I draw the line.
Also if op wants to point out the actual terrible implications in Chalice of the Gods about percabeth, not only does Annabeth do all of the above, she MAKES PERCY APOLOGIZE for what was clearly assault against him as evidenced by Percy's conversation with Grover.
She is putting her own distress at him being missing ABOVE PERCY'S PAIN AND PERCY'S SITUATION. We don't get a single scene where Annabeth comforts or consoles Percy about everything that happened to him. Being dropped in the middle of no where, constantly hunted by creatures that kept resurrecting, being in enemy territory with no memory and a thousand other horrible traumatic situations that PERCY HAD TO FACE.
Okay now getting back to the scene in Cotg where Annabeth pushes Percy off the cliff.
First, the op goes on about how Percy was unhurt and fine, and he is powerful so he can heal himself and so on. Yes, obviously, yes, he's bloody Percy Jackson. But I think everyone's missing the point. Just looking at the start point and the end point isn't enough. What happened in between is just as important. Yes Percy can heal himself, yes he is the strongest demigod but he is also just a teenager who feels pain just as acutely as a human [mentioning this cause op says that we don't know if demigods feel pain the same way] and it's not just me. Percy himself mentions this.
It was obviously painful. He goes far enough to call it worst case of heartburn. Sure it healed right after but it was very painful.
And let's get to the worst part. Percy was quite literally having a very traumatic experience especially if it made him feel like his child self, scared and powerless.
So we have disproved the first point which stated that he was completely fine and it wasn't painful. Yes he healed, but he wasn't at all fine and it was definitely painful. My guy was having a breakdown from it. Which part of that seems okay?
Now the op says that Percy had priorly said yes to a suggestion to jump, let me emphasize jump. Annabeth pushed him off without warning but I am sure she thought it was fine, Percy was a bit irritated but he let it go. We will let this one pass. What however should have been Annabeth's response is that she should have checked on Percy, she should have been at least a bit guilty that Percy was going to have to do all the painful stuff. Because as op says the river god was going to attack anyway and Percy was the only one who could deal with that but there's no acceptance on Annabeth's side for the gravity of what's she made Percy do. Because she was right there watching him being thrown around and beaten up heavily while having a tea party with the river god [not her fault it was a good distraction] but all she did was tap on her watch and tell Percy to hurry up. No consideration for his pain or what he was going through, not during the situation nor after it. Now Annabeth out of everyone should be attuned to Percy's emotional state. Given the sheer scale of his out of control response she must have been able to tell it was not an okay experience. Percy pulled the entire river bed off and completely rearranged it. So that should have been a clue but not Annabeth, she calls it GOING OVERBOARD later on.
Also let's go back to the part where she pushes him off. Percy wants to take it slow. He says he does but nope Annabeth just straight up pushes him off. Op says it's Annabeth being sarcastic or funny but it's obviously not what Percy wanted to do in that moment.
And we all have seen Annabeth repeatedly getting physical with Percy, and it's completely one-sided to the point where Percy just has to tolerate and get used to her hitting him. There are various books where he says he was afraid she was going to hit him. Now the problem with that is Annabeth's medium for expressing rage is also her medium for having fun with him and that's not a healthy thing cause Percy obviously has bad experiences with physical abuse and latent trauma from it and he shouldn't have to get used to Annabeth's unhealthy ways of expressing herself at his own expense. Annabeth loves him, so she should do better because Percy has gone above and beyond for her every time. surely he deserves Annabeth being soft with him and surely a relationship should have healthy and positive emotional expression medium between them. Shouldn't Annabeth as a person deserve to be able to move on with some of her unhealthy coping mechanisms as a sign of recovery from her own trauma as well? For herself and for Percy? Between Annabeth teasing his intelligence and hitting him constantly, we see zero to none.
So yes it may not be outright abuse but it is heading towards it because at what point are we going to acknowledge Annabeth has a very bad way of expressing herself to Percy and it has consistently involved violence and or demeaning remarks? She literally punches him in the stomach in The Titan's Curse because Percy doesn't ask her to dance when she was the one who wanted him to do so while not giving him any hint and or idea that she wanted such a thing.
I know why everyone in Percabeth community gets defensive over the word abuse as they should because it's not a small thing but surely we can acknowledge that there's some disconnect between what Annabeth wants to convey and how she conveys it that stands contradictory to her orignal intention and also that she fails to see the harm in this?
Now we might have different takes on how a relationship goes but I firmly stand by my own. I have nothing against those who ship it but that does no mean those of us who do not ship it are doing so on baseless grounds.
omg pls elaborate, why don’t u like post pjo nico? I’m curious, I don’t really know how I feel abt him either tbh (u don’t have to respond tho!!! I hope u have a wonderful day!!)
nico is just a different character in pjo than he is in hoo.
i love pjo!nico. the struggle of fantasy (mythomagic, nico's view of the demigod world) vs reality ('mythology,' the reality of being a demigod), the themes of death and coming to terms with death while having a certain amount of power over death. in a world where demigods are the people who don't belong, nico being a kid that doesn't belong even more (hades not having a cabin, the other campers' avoidance or fear of him). grief, forgiveness, friendship. nico pushing people away, especially percy, nico changing from hero worship to understand that even demigods are just human and mortal, and nico accepting other people (accepting percy's friendship) and being accepted himself...
in hoo and beyond i think his story just gets lost, like a lot of other characters do. hoo in general doesn't have the same strength that pjo does - not that every story has to have 'deep' or particularly 'meaningful' themes per se, but pjo grapples with power, mortality. the flaws of gods, humanity. and a lot more. i know we're going really broad, but hoo doesn't deal with any of that. as a consequence nico's character just falls flat for me, because i don't feel that hoo deals with him with the same complexity and interest pjo does.
also, nico being gay. hmm. i have a lot of thoughts about rick and representation (and a good few of them are not great, even if a lot of younger fans sing his praises), and solangelo. now i think nico being gay overall is fine. i think it could add another layer to him when examined through the lens of pjo, and there were plenty of people who thought that way in fandom. but what it felt like to me when written in canon was rick making the decision, and making pjo support the idea retroactively. of course, that is speculation bc i can't 100% confidently say that's true. i don't mean to say that nico shouldn't be gay, but i don't think it was written well.
solangelo also felt like a shoe-in. rick has this thing about pairing characters up for their happy endings. solangelo is a hot mess, it's not compelling, and if we do accept nico's feelings about percy it gets reduced to a joke. nico's character swings from repression and struggling with himself to skipping off with will. i make it no secret i don't like canon solangelo, and the relationship being lgbt doesn't mean it's good. it's flat and boring. also the resolution to nico's 'arc' in hoo doesn't have to be that he ends up in a relationship.
take what i said about the above with a little grain of salt. every person’s opinion is different, some people really love solangelo and that arc of nico’s. i don’t think it’s wrong to like it or that you shouldn’t. but i didn’t, myself. it could have been written a lot better lol
hoo also contradicts like... all of nico's character growth from pjo, and repeats conflicts that were previously resolved instead of expanding or continuing them in interesting ways, or creating new ones that actually make sense.
one of nico's conflicts in hoo was not being accepted and feeling like he doesn't belong anywhere. particularly because of the exclusion of children of pluto by camp jupiter and their fear of him. like i mentioned earlier this was already addressed in the original series. in botl, nico tells percy that he doesn't belong at camp, that people are afraid of him, and ultimately chooses to leave to find his own path. at the end of tlo, nico is welcomed by the other campers. he proves percy's point to the gods, and percy pushes for nico and hades to be accepted by the other gods and demigods.
“It hasn’t been easy, you know. Having only the dead for company. Knowing that I’ll never be accepted by the living. Only the dead respect me, and they only do that out of fear.” “You could be accepted,” I said. “You could have friends at camp.” He stared at me. “Do you really believe that, Percy?”
Nico and Percy, Battle of the Labyrinth, pg. 192
“This camp isn’t for me. There’s a reason they didn’t put a cabin to Hades here, Percy. He’s not welcome, anymore than he is on Olympus. I don’t belong. I have to go.”
Battle of the Labyrinth, pg. 223
"And Hades—" ... "...your children should not be left out. They should have a cabin at camp. Nico has proven that..."
The Last Olympian, pg. 353
Nico sat at the main table with Chiron and Mr. D, and nobody seemed to think this was out of place. Everybody was patting Nico on the back, complimenting him on his fighting. Even the Ares kids seemed to think he was pretty cool.
The Last Olympian, pg. 371
all of that aside, here is a core issue: nico, the doors of death, and his choices. when you really look at it, what happens in hoo is a "fuck you" to nico's character in pjo.
let's recap:
in son of neptune, it's revealed that hazel was brought back by nico. not just that, though... nico was searching for bianca, who he hoped he could bring back. the reason he didn't was because he couldn't - she chose to be reborn to avoid just that.
but nico wouldn't have done that. nico attempting to, and arguably nico bringing back hazel, goes against all of his growth and character in botl.
this isn't the first time nico tried bringing back bianca. his main goal in battle of the labyrinth was to find daedalus to trade his soul for bianca's.
“I was hoping you would give up.” “Give up?” [Nico] sounded heartbroken. “How can you say that? I’m trying to save you!” “You can’t, Nico. Don’t do this. Percy is right.” “No! He let you die! He’s not your friend.”
Nico and Bianca, Battle of the Labyrinth pg. 108
in the labyrinth, percy confronts nico and reveals nico is looking for daedalus to trade his soul for bianca's. but when they find daedalus, when daedalus accepts his own death... nico chooses not to.
“I will take what comes,” he said. “And trust in the justice of the Underworld, such as it is. That is all we can do, isn’t it?” He looked straight at Nico, and Nico’s face darkened. “Yes,” he said. “Will you take my soul for ransom, then?” Daedalus asked. “You could use it to reclaim your sister.” “No,” Nico said. “I will help you release your spirit. But Bianca has passed. She must stay where she is.”
Nico and Daedalus, Battle of the Labyrinth pg. 217
The shimmering form of Bianca di Angelo stood in the clearing, smiling at her brother. She said something to him and touched his face—or tried to. Then her image faded. Nico turned and saw me, but he didn’t look mad. “Saying good-bye,” he said hoarsely.
Nico and Percy, Battle of the Labyrinth pg. 223
also i think it just becomes super clear when you read. i've gone back semi-recently to reread pjo. for this ask i pulled up botl. reading botl... reading pjo... i feel like the difference in quality is so clear when you read about nico.
actually I also wanna talk about the part where Percy convinces Bob to kill Hyperion because even though Percy never says anything outright sinister, the way he handles the entire situation with such cool ease, playing on Bob’s emotions... its so insane???
Because Annabeth’s reaction to the three of them encountering Hyperion reforming is: “oh this is bad we need to get out of here” She knows if Bob remembers himself, that it's not going to play out well for Percy and her. She also thinks about how they're being pursued and don't have a lot of time. Her solution to the problem, seemingly, is to leave.
But Percy's solution is to work the situation to his advantage. He re-affirms Bob's loyalty to him:
Percy then re-establishes Bob's moral code: "Some monsters are good. Some are bad. This Titan is bad. He tried to kill me and a lot of people. He's not good like you are."
And it ends with Percy leaving the choice of whatever to do with Hyperion to Bob but of course, is it really what Bob chose to do? Bob decides to kill Hyperion. It's not what he may have done, if Percy hadn't intervened. But it's exactly what Percy was oh-so-sweetly leading Bob to do.
And listen, I'm not claiming that it was exactly morally bankrupt of Percy to take advantage of a once-evil titan who could get him and his girlfriend through hell in one piece. Percy, Annabeth, they manipulate monsters and enemies all the time. Annabeth ended the previous book with manipulating Arachne into weaving her own web. It's not exactly like she's even against using manipulative tactics, in theory.
But Bob, at this point, is not just some monster. He is so painfully sincere in his belief in Percy and their friendship, and so yes, it does feel a bit sinister whenever Percy uses Bob... and he really uses Bob.
And I think that's makes the scene so unsettling, it isn't just that Percy manipulated Bob, its how well Percy manipulated him. He manipulates Bob so well that Percy doesn't even have to kill Hyperion... because Bob does it for him. He manipulates Bob so well, that Annabeth couldn't tell if Percy was purposefully trying to manipulate the situation. (Newsflash, he most definitely was). Like holy shit.
What do you mean he kept roaming around??? MONSTERS WERE CHASING HIM ALL THE WAY FROM THE FOREST TO CAMP JUPITER. UNLIKE JASON WHO HAD OTHER PEOPLE WITH HIM AND WAS DROPPED IN A RELATIVELY SAFER AREA, PERCY WOKE UP WITH NO MEMORY IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE WITH GORGONS ON HIS TRAIL. GORGONS, WHICH DID NOT REMAIN DEAD. OF COURSE HE HAD TO MOVE CONSTANLY; PERCY KNOWS EXACTLY HOW TO STAY ALIVE AND WAS OBVIOUSLY SMART ENOUGH TO ALWAYS KEEP THEM GUESSING.
But obviously, some readers are too ignorant or too willfully blind to understand that.
Even after he came to camp Jupiter, he had to immediately fight for his place. His only two friends so far were in a tough situation. Frank was being sent on a quest. Percy, being the loyal, selfless guy that he is, obviously went with him and Hazel to protect them and also find answers to his amnesia.
WHILE ANNABETH WAS BUSY LOOKING FOR PERCY, HE WAS BUSY SURVIVING, SAVING HIS FRIENDS, SAVING THE WORLD AND SAVING CAMP JUPITER. BUT OF COURSE HE IS AN IDIOT FOR NOT STAYING IN ONE PLACE WHEN THE HIS HELP WAS REQUIRED AND NECESSARY ELSEWHERE TO YOU KNOW HELP HIS FRIENDS AND SAVE CAMP JUPITER???
How braindead and delusional can Annabeth stans be? Sorry to burst your bubble, but Percy has other things to do than deal with Annabeth's whims and demands and he has other people who mean just as much to him as Annabeth, who he would do anything for.
And you should be thankful. Annabeth would be dead without Percy. If he hadn't jumped to join Annabeth in Tartarus, that is. You can love Annabeth, you should, she has certain good contributions but stop putting her on a non-existent pedestal especially to demean Percy, not when she has so many flaws and obvious controlling and toxic behavior towards Percy. There's no take you could have that would make anyone hate Percy and like Annabeth, whereas the reverse already exists. So stop fueling the already growing hatred against Annabeth by making such idiotic hate comments and consistent abuse apologism on Annabeth's behalf.
IF YOU'RE A PERC@BETH STAN KEEP SCROLLING. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU.
The abuse apologism is among these fans is sickening.
Do you see this?
Annabeth has to hurt Percy to let him know she's about to kiss him?
What the actual fuck. She could just. Ask. for. consent. "hey Percy can I kiss you?" It's not that fucking hard. If she doesn't understand what consent is then she has no right kissing anyone until she learns. I don't care how old she is. She's not a baby. This is a romantic kiss. Get fucking permission without hurting him. Use your fucking words.
Also no, this is not a discussion post. Don't come here defending this comment, I will not respond and will block you.
*whispers* jercyyyyy
yells* JERCY!!!!
surprise hug&kiss!!
Question.
Do you have any more Percahel Content or Anti Annabeth/Anti Percabeth Content?
Aside from all my current Percy Jackson posts no. But I plan to keep posting more of both so you can look forward to that .
If you or anyone else has any specific topic you want to me talk about, let me know.
Also, my next post is going to be on my favorite Perachel headcanons, which I will be posting either today or tomorrow!
I myself am really disappointed by the lack of any other content than percabeth or blatant Annabeth worship. Hopefully, now, with the show, new fans and readers will be open to other perspectives .
Though I am happy to see enough people post about how smart Percy is at last. The Fandom motto shouldn't be "Percy would be nothing without Annabeth," which is toxic, and such a falsehood. The Fandom motto should be "Everyone would be dead without Percy"
The lack of Perachel is criminal. But percico next followed perpollo and jercy.
https://www.tumblr.com/perachel-events/751598005994520576/would-you-be-interested-in-participating-in-a?source=share
Would you be interested in a Perachel event?
Absolutely. I will check it out as soon as I get time. (I am literally so uneducated about tumblr and Fandom events I need help asap).
Perachel is the best Percy ship, no questions asked, and the amount of plotlines it could run on is so immense.
God and oracle au, both of them with their shared prophetic abilities having a unique connection , Percy being Rachel's muse, a shared mind link, a fated bond due to Percy being Fate's favored hero and Rachel being an envoy of the fates and obviously the relationship they had in canon should have been explored more because it's so good and has so much potential all by itself.
As you can see, I am about to digress into a Perachel rant, but seriously, it needs to be APPRECIATED more. RACHEL needs to be appreciated MORE.
I'm really pleasantly surprised that you answered :)
Of course, here are some materials from where I got information about Zagreus and Peitho!
For Peitho:
https://mirrorpalace.wordpress.com/2009/10/17/an-exploration-of-peitho/ - her research, which I really love.
And here is the stream of consciousness about her - https://mirrorpalace.wordpress.com/2009/08/17/thoughts-on-peitho/
They both don't belong to me.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/3093410 -the fanfiction in which she appears, just keep in mind that it can be very difficult and dark there - Nico Di Angelo becomes a victim. This fanfiction also doesn't belong to me.
Zagreus:
https://hades.fandom.com/wiki/Zagreus - his wiki page, though I can't judge how good it is, because mostly I just read fanfiction/posts on tumblr and get information from there.
and - https://www.tumblr.com/happyk44/tagged/Zagreus - there is also a lot of good material about Zagreus.
And here's one fanfiction - https://archiveofourown.org/works/47538967/chapters/119808652 - from there I draw the creepy and dark part of Zagreus. It doesn't belong to me.
I'm sorry if you get a little confused. I "collect" Character images from various sources, reinforcing them with my own thoughts. For example, Peitho in my understanding is basically the same as in "An Abyss for Atonement" with some additions and my changes. And if you were wondering why I see Percy as a legacy of goddess of charm and a chthonic god - the answer is simple - Percy is beautiful and charming,He is most likely one of the most beautiful demigods of his generation and he can convince you to do what he wants. And I think Percy has some kind of connection with the underworld, it's a subtle dark atmosphere and the fact that he likes to travel through the shadows. His connection to the underworld is subtle and not too noticeable, as if, funny to say, ghostly.
I think this was the hardest of asks, but somehow, I liked it entirely too much. It's a bit out of box take, but I have already done one where I wrote Percy as a Legacy of Odysseus, so I think this fits too. Why do I have a feeling this is going to be a recurring theme for asks?
I am so terribly sorry for the delay but I didn't want to make the post without reading up on most of your suggestions; as I have said I was really unfamiliar with both Zagreus and Peitho.
As per anon's request Percy is a Legacy of Zagreus and Peitho through his grandparents. Percy Jackson as the Legacy of Zagreus and Peitho. [His grandmother Estelle was the daughter of Zagreus, and his grandfather James - son of Peitho].
Peitho is a very interesting deity. I suggest all readers check out at least one of anon's references. She is the deity of seduction, of persuasion , of divine charm and thrall. A force of passion and abstract power.
In certain versions, she is also an alternate representation of one of the Moraie. Lachesis, to be precise. She also used to represent the concept of everything that has happened before or has been till now.
Zagreus, though intriguing, is a bit more straightforward. I know I know I just called a chthonic god straight forward, but he is. Now, the wiki states that he is the God of Blood, but in one of the codex entries, Achilles says he is also a God of life.
He has connections with Styx and has traversed through Tartarus and here's a fun fact in the orignal myths Zagreus and Dinosyus are actually the same gods or at least father and son which would kind of create an extremely strange and entertaining dynamic but let's stick to game wiki. Not to mention the very newly layered dynamic now painted between Percy, Hades, and Nico.
Now think, Percy, eloquent and charming, words dripping with unspoken power. People think it's the tongue of the sea, of sirens, alluring and hypnotic, but it's far older, far more primordial, of Peithos, of divine eloquence, of persuasion.
Perseus Jackson, who none, not god nor mortal, can deny. Persuasion by words, persuasion by war , is it not all the same? Both reflect passion and thus reflect Peitho.
Perseus Jackson, beautiful and alluring, yet dangerous. Too sharp edged. Not a gentle beauty. A sharp, passionate, bloody beauty ,whether of sea or underworld we know not yet.
Percy Jackson, with midnight black hair, so vivid, so deep, that even the Lord of the Underworld balks at the resemblance, to his own line and that of Poseidon's.
Percy Jackson, who dreams and dreams yet again of things that have been, ages before or just now, it does not matter. He has my sight drawls Peitho , lips red with blood and rose, from somewhere far away, but perhaps Sally hears it all the same for she has it too, the gift of her line.
Perseus, whom Styx spares the fatal curse of Achilles not out of Roman interference but out of familial bonds, of primordial connections. The Underworld looks after its own, does it not? And Perseus Jackson is most certainly of the Underworld, will always be.
Percy, whose mind bends blood as easily as it would water sees not the gift of Zagreus, but a horror of Tartarus but he will come to see, after all blood is life and life is blood. Of blood and over blood child, that is your power declares Zagreus from the deepest caverns if the Underworld and Percy thinks he's heard the whispers of the pit but perhaps, just perhaps blood will serve him well, better than sea, better than water.
Perseus, whose call the rivers obey, the rivers of the Underworld. They recognize the blood of their own, do they not? They do, and they answer. They always will, and so will the dead if he dares call upon them. One day, one day whispers Achilles to Zagreus as they watch, the rise and triumph of the favored child of the sea and the Underworld.
Percy, who puts all in his thrall just with the green of his eyes and the smile at his lips. He sees not the divine Peitho in himself, but Aphrodite does not miss, neither do the Olympians.
Perseus, who teeters on the edge of mortal and divine as does Zagreus between living and death. Both, neither, one more than the other. Which one? We may yet see, but Peitho knows, and so does Zagreus. They do not say it, but the Olympians feel it. The wave of change.
Percy, who finds his way in and out of his uncle's, once and again, and then always. New ways and old ones, even forgotten ones. Perhaps Zagreus will be out of a job soon, thinks Persephone fondly. Not even the Lord of the Dead finds it in himself the words of chagrin.
That's all the thoughts I can think up at the moment but I will reblog with more I am sure cause this will stay with me.
I wrote it a bit too dramatically, but I think it fits well. All things considered. Also, anon, let me know if this was to your liking.
Also, I think Zagreus's dynamic with Nico could be super interesting, and maybe just maybe it deserves it own post.
Me casually thinking about how Thalia passed down the prophecy to Percy in a heartbeat, but Percy did everything in his power to stop it from being passed down to Nico, who had just lost his sister, his only friend, and had no one else but a(n) (abusive?) father for company cos no one wanted to be friends with him.
Thalia (basically): Yeah sure take the prophecy I don’t want to die
Percy: um ok then
Also Percy: I accept the prophecy, it is mine now and my future so no one (Nico) will be harmed by having to possibly die by it
watching percy’s trauma and low self-esteem be used as fuel for the “hehe himbo adhd simp” punchline instead of a genuine in-depth exploration of how fighting two wars (and some) and going thru hell have affected him
258 posts